The Tied Man

by McGowan, Tabitha

  ‘Very apt,’ I grinned. ‘Anyway, I think it was very generous of Blaine to keep you occupied now the picture’s all done and dusted. You know you’d hate to be bored.’

  ‘Where is my illustrious patron, anyway? I think this is the longest she’s left me alone in days.’ She pushed her icy hands up the sleeves of my sweater.

  ‘New victim’s due to arrive at any minute, isn’t he? She’ll be up in her room, painting on her mask of respectability.’ As if on cue, a distant clatter shattered the snow-muffled silence. ‘Jesus fuck, is that a fuckin’ helicopter he’s got?’

  ‘That would be Gabriel, yes.’

  ‘The flash little get.’

  ‘Absolutely. Right, I’m off to see if Henry will put a shot of medicinal whisky in a coffee for me. You want one?’

  ‘Nah, I’m good. I’ll get tidied around here, ready for the welcoming committee.’

  She gripped my hands in hers. ‘Here we go, then.’

  ‘Yup, here we go.’

  Lilith stood on tiptoe and kissed me softly on the cheek. ‘For luck,’ she whispered, before leaving in search of sustenance. At that moment I could have murdered a newborn baby for half-a-dozen temazepam, but settled for a quick smoke out of the window instead.

  *****

  ‘Just through here, Mr James, sir. Welcome to Albermarle Hall. And may I just say, it’s an absolute pleasure to have you here.’ Coyle was in full-on arselicker mode, which was a little surprising. I’d never had him pinned as a Gabriel James fan.

  I observed this part of the ceremony from a safe distance – I was, after all, still invisible at this stage of the game. Gabriel walked into the hall like he owned the fucking place, with a strut that suggested a lifetime of doors simply swinging open before him. Behind him came a tanned, shaven-headed young man, carrying two small suitcases. I could just imagine the range of possibilities running through Blaine’s head at this moment.

  Like a moth to a particularly tempting flame, Blaine appeared from her quarters and made her graceful entrance down the stairs. ‘Gabriel! How lovely to meet you at last. I trust you had a good journey up here?’

  ‘Cool. Thought the snow might cause a few problems, but we kept ahead of it. Thanks for the invite, yeah?’ Gabriel kissed Blaine on both cheeks. ‘Like some fairytale castle you’ve got here, ain’t it? Oh, this is Noah Barker, my PA.’

  Noah, by far the quieter of the two new arrivals, merely settled for a polite handshake and shy smile.

  Blaine frowned. ‘Finn, where’s our artist? I’m sure she wouldn’t want to miss the welcome party.’

  ‘Lili? She’s in the kitchen, I think. Do you want me to -’

  ‘It’s fine, I’m here. Gabriel, it’s so good to see you.’ Lilith walked over with her arms outstretched towards our latest guest, all upper-class confidence and poise.

  ‘Lilith, babe,’ Gabriel grinned, and gave her a hug that went on for about ten seconds longer than it had to, and from the corner of my eye I could see Coyle just standing there, smirking like the twat he was.

  ‘I’ll go and get Henry to do the business whilst you folks are getting re-acquainted,’ he said, once he’d had enough of an eyeful.

  For the first time in three days, Henry emerged from his kitchen. He’d been working around the clock, roasting swan, or maybe a couple of unicorns, ready for that night’s feast. ‘Nice to meet you, Mr James. I’m sure Mr O’Halloran explained the rules about technology here at the Hall. I’ll just take a quick look, if that’s all right?’ He was already hauling the larger of the cases over to a small table in the hallway.

  ‘Yeah, whatever.’ Gabriel gave a shrug and continued to gawp at Lilith, before making some ridiculous small talk with Blaine about weather fronts and flying conditions, like he’d piloted the fucking helicopter himself.

  ‘Um, I apologise for interrupting, but, er...’Henry had paused from his rummaging through our visitors’ underwear and wash kit, and held a mobile phone at arm’s length, as though it were radioactive. ‘I’m sorry, sir, but we do insist without exception that our guests don’t use mobile technology whilst they’re at the Hall.’

  Gabriel proceeded to kick off like a right stroppy little bastard. ‘For fuck’s sake, I didn’t come here for fuckin’ Jeeves to start orderin’ me around in the first ten seconds,’ he snapped. He actually snatched the thing back, and I thought Henry was about to turn on the waterworks.

  ‘Gabriel darling, I appreciate that it’s difficult to surrender something that seems so necessary, but I can assure you that within hours you’ll hardly miss it.’ Blaine gave an apologetic smile. ‘And I’m afraid it is something I insist upon if you’re to remain at Albermarle.’

  ‘It’s okay, Gabe,’ Lilith assured him. ‘I managed it without it killing me.’

  There was a distinct stand-off as Gabriel clung onto his phone as though it were a kid’s comfort blanket. He even managed a pout as he reluctantly handed it over to Blaine.

  ‘Thank you.’ She placed her hand over his and let her fingers briefly caress the underside of his wrist, already moving in for the kill. ‘Now, why don’t the pair of you follow Mr O’Halloran to your rooms so you can freshen up?’ She gestured towards the stairs and her latest guests followed Coyle like two obedient little sheep.

  Lilith

  At two o’ clock in the afternoon, Blaine left the island to visit the salon in the village, taking Coyle with her as boatman and porter.

  Five hours left until showtime.

  I waited in my room until I could no longer hear the launch engine, then ran to the Hall where Gabriel was already at the grand piano, warming up for that evening’s performance. He was making easy work of Rachmaninoff, his fingers skimming over the keys of Blaine’s Steinway. His quiet young PA sat at the dining table, diligently making notes in a small spiral bound notepad, and at the sound of my footfall, he turned to face me. ‘Safe?’ he mouthed.

  I nodded, and ran into his embrace.

  ‘Bloody hell, Lilith, what kind of a mess are you in here, lovely?’ he whispered.

  ‘Huge,’ I muttered into his chest. ‘Huge, but fixable, now you’re here. Oh God, you have no idea how good it is to see you.’

  ‘Even if I am a sad bastard without life or girlfriend?’ Nat Carlin, the recipient of my clandestine phonecall, grinned, and I hugged him harder still.

  ‘Even if. Shit, I’m so sorry, Nat. For what I said... all of it. I was an absolute bitch...’

  ‘You don’t need to apologise, Lilith. Should have known it was something pretty massive for you to be so worked up. I probably need to give my head a shake, to be honest.’ And with those few words, I was forgiven faster than I truly deserved by the most decent man I had ever known.

  I finally broke away. ‘You’ve got everything you need?’

  ‘I reckon so. All safe in my room, out of the way of that Coyle twat. Like you said, they were that happy to find the phone, they missed the good stuff. To be honest, I didn’t even need to hide everything as well as I did – I’m almost disappointed.’

  ‘Coyle’s not the brightest spark,’ I said. ‘But watch him, please? He’s still dangerous.’

  ‘Yeah, he has that aura of gorilla, doesn’t he?’ He shook his head. ‘Fuck me, Lilith, I’ve never managed to break so many laws in such a short space of time. Means I can now add ‘Fraudster’ and ‘International Drug Smuggler’ to my CV, mind you.’

  ‘There you are, then. You can think of it as career development. The hair suits you, by the way,’ I said, and brushed the flat of my hand across the blond stubble.

  ‘That was the hardest bit, you know. Took me years to grow it that long. You sure it was necessary, or did you just reckon I needed a haircut?’

  ‘It just wasn’t worth the risk. I don’t think Blaine’s got any shots of me in Santa Marita, but all it would need is one picture with you in the background, and she’d have figured something was up. You’ve got to admit your ringlets were pretty distinctive.’

  ‘Curls, ple
ase,’ Nat said, self-consciously running his fingers across his newly-cropped hair.

  ‘Sorry, ‘Noah’.’ I laughed. ‘And where the hell did you get that name from?’

  Nat blushed. ‘Um, my hamster when I was a kid,’ he muttered.

  ‘Your hamster?’

  ‘Well you used a bloody cat, didn’t you? Never had a cat, so I just went for the next best thing.’

  The music came to a halt, and Gabriel reverentially lowered the lid. ‘So do I get a proper hug now, or what?’ he asked.

  I walked over to the piano, stood behind him, and wrapped my arms around his shoulders. ‘Thank you,’ I said, and kissed him on the cheek. ‘I know it’s a huge price to pay for a bit of in-flight entertainment...’

  Gabriel twisted in his seat so he faced me. ‘What else am I gonna do when some complete stranger rings me in the middle of the night and tells me some Ladyship or other’s about to offer me a minibreak orgy? Seriously though, babe – as soon as ‘Noah’ here gave me the call, I was in. Just wish I’d have pushed it a bit more back in London. Knew you was in some kind of bother, didn’t I? Should have done a bit more...’

  ‘You did what you could, Gabe. And if you’re concerned in the slightest, what you’re doing now gets you a fast pass through the Pearly Gates upon your premature death from a life of hedonism and excess.’

  ‘Promise?’

  ‘Promise. Now keep playing, would you? I don’t think this room is bugged, but I know I’ll feel a hell of a lot happier with some background noise going on.’

  ‘Bugged? Fuck me. At some point, are you actually going to explain what the fuck’s going on here? ‘Cos all I’ve got so far is a posh bird who seems to want to get her hands on my knob before the sun sets, and some stroppy Irish supermodel bloke who looks like he’s out to kill me just for breathing.’

  ‘Later. If we can pull this thing off, we’ll have the rest of the night to put the world to rights. You get my time and attention, and all the details that you could ever wish for.’

  Gabriel rolled his eyes and pulled his stool a little closer to the piano. ‘Good job you’re gorgeous, Ms Bresson.’

  ‘Isn’t it, though?’

  As the music began once more, Nat turned to me and gave me a look that was a perfect combination of sadness and acceptance. ‘The ‘stroppy Irish supermodel’. He’s the one, isn’t he?’

  For the briefest moment I thought about lying, about denying everything and blaming my recent madness on simple altruism. Then I looked at Nat and realised that he had known everything that really mattered the moment he had sleepily picked up the telephone that night.

  ‘Yeah. Yeah, he’s the one.’

  ‘You know how I guessed?’ Nat asked.

  ‘How?’

  Nat gave a brave smile. ‘The lucky sod’s obviously allowed to call you Lili without getting to take his bollocks home in a jam jar.’

  Finn

  It wasn’t even that I thought there was anything going on between the pair of them. It was simply that looking at the pair of perma-tanned, flash little bastards with her was like watching beings from another planet. One that I had no hope of ever visiting.

  I shouldn’t have bothered coming back up to the Great Hall. Hadn’t expected this reaction, so had nothing in place to deal with it. I got that same, sick feeling that had coshed me when I read the newspaper article; this was Lilith’s world, and these were the kind of men she was meant to be with.

  The longer I stood behind the arch, playing the voyeur, the more hellish I felt. I was trying to cut down on some of the shit I’d been throwing down my neck, and as a result I was held in the teeth of a protracted rattle that was controlled enough not to kill me on the spot, but more than enough to give me a headache that didn’t even leave me when I slept, and a cold sweat that soaked through my shirt as it leached the poison from my body. I forced my gaze away from the happy little reunion, and headed for the cellars.

  *****

  Just ten would do it. The urge to push those little white tablets from their blisters threatened to overwhelm me, so much so that I didn’t dare glance at the drawer where the open packet was kept or even the bin where I’d thrown an empty box; I could already imagine the sharp aftertaste lingering on my tongue.

  I shut my eyes and tried to find a centring breath that might give me another minute’s worth of resistance, but my mouth was already filled with that welcoming bitterness. I needed a better diversion than thinking happy thoughts and rainbows. I fumbled in my pocket for my lighter and fag packet, and rolled up my sleeve.

  ‘Please don’t.’

  I felt her walk up to me and stand at my shoulder. I didn’t even turn my head. ‘‘What the hell do you see in me, Lili? ‘Cos I sure as fuck can’t see it in myself. Jesus, I’m this sorry, broken thing next to them! I can’t even speak the same language – what can I talk about, huh? How to get fucked by bastards? The top ten methods of creative self-harm?’

  She took the cigarette from my fingers and stubbed it out on the dresser top. ‘I don’t expect you to be like them. Don’t want you to be. It’s not them I want, it’s you. From the moment we met, it’s only been you.’

  I couldn’t speak. I turned my lighter over and over in my hand as I fought the urge to light another smoke and drive it into my arm. I was on the very brink of losing myself again, and I didn’t know what the fuck to do about it.

  ‘I can’t do this alone, Finn. I need you beside me.’

  Nobody had ever said that to me. I finally dared myself to face her, wanting to tell her everything that was going on in my head, explain away my idiocy, and then I was kissing her harder than I had ever kissed anyone in my life and the flare of raw need left no fear for fear, doubt, or anything else but Lilith. She gave a muffled squeak of surprise, and I realised what I was doing. I broke away. ‘Aah, oh God, I’m sorry... That was so fucking inappropriate... I... Jesus, you want to talk and I... Oh bollocks.’ I had never sounded like such a magnificent wanker.

  ‘Finn, shut up and fuck me,’ Lilith whispered in my ear.

  So I did.

  Lilith hauled my hoodie and t-shirt over my head and flung it into a corner. Seconds later, her own sweater had joined it, followed swiftly by a pair of sweatpants and a black thong and bra and then she was standing naked before me for the first time.

  ‘Dear God, you’re gorgeous,’ I whispered, and meant it; her deceptively slight frame was all muscle and flawless, tawny skin, from her small, high breasts to the gentle curve of her hips. I wanted all of her, all at once.

  Her nipples were already hard before I got anywhere near them; probably something to do with the fact that the temperature was about minus twenty and falling. As I kissed her again, she entwined her arms around my neck . I grabbed her arse, pulling her hungrily towards me, and we staggered backwards into the ancient wall. Lilith wrapped her legs around my waist, and I felt my ribs complain as her thigh muscles gripped me; I was reminded that this was a woman who ran a daily pre-breakfast assault course just for laughs.

  ‘Sorry – are you…’ she gasped, as I winced.

  ‘M’good,’ I said, the urgency banishing any pain. We fell onto the mattress and I pulled the filthy duvet over us to combat the cold. I fumbled at the buttons of my jeans and managed to kick them down the bed, and then we were both naked together.

  There was no time – no need – for foreplay. Within moments I was inside her, feeling her clench against me, all warmth and silken wetness. Now it was her hands around my backside, drawing me further in with each thrust, and I had to think of the contents of Henry’s fridge before it felt safe for me to proceed.

  This time Lilith came first. In one glorious surge, I felt her clasp me ever harder, and she buried her mouth in mine to soften her cry. I finally let myself go, and matched Lilith’s rhythm to join her.

  We lay there, wrapped in a tangle of arms and legs. I wasn’t cold anymore.

  ‘Oh, you beautiful, beautiful man,’ Lilith whispered, and covered my fac
e with butterfly kisses. I returned each one.

  ‘A chuisle,’ I murmured as she laid her head on my chest, and for the longest time we just lay there, sharing the warmth of skin on skin and pretending we were the only people on the planet.

  *****

  ‘You have the neatest bush I’ve ever seen in my life, you know that?’ I asked, running my finger over the softness.

  ‘And that surprises you?’

  ‘Nah. Pubic topiary. I like it,’ I said, and Lilith giggled. I kissed her again, just because I could.

  Too soon, she gave a resigned sigh and reached for her clothes. ‘Well, I suppose I’d better go and get ready for this farrago of villainy.’

  I held onto her as if I could keep her. ‘It’s the most evil thing, Lili, and you shouldn’t be anywhere near it. I wish to God there was another way of doing this.’

  ‘We’ve come this far. Just a little further, then we’re home free.’ She took my hands in hers and touched my fingers to her lips. ‘So let’s do this bloody thing, shall we?’

  Chapter Thirty One

  Lilith

  The transformation into the product known as Lilith Bresson took me nearly two hours, by the time I had bathed, dried my hair without the use of a bloody hairdryer, and applied a protective layer of warpaint.

  Blaine had chosen my dress for the evening. In truth it looked more like two white silk handkerchiefs sown loosely together than a dress, something Tinkerbell might wear if she ever decided to take up a porn career. I supposed it wasn’t actually meant to be worn for any significant length of time, and it was destined for the fire the very first chance I got.

  I had just fastened the button at the nape of my neck when Coyle swaggered in. ‘Just to let you know, Lady Albermarle doesn’t let any of her whores out to wander on a work night.’ He waved my room key in front of my face. ‘Protectin’ her investment and all that. As soon as I’ve checked you’re nice and safe behind a locked door, I’m gonna do the same for your pet fag. Maybe see how his ribs are holding up, if I get a spare five minutes.’