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Lord Byron - Delphi Poets Series

Page 188

by Lord Byron

One wonder’d what to do with such a number

  Of articles which nobody required;

  Here wealth had done its utmost to encumber

  With furniture an exquisite apartment,

  Which puzzled Nature much to know what Art meant.

  LXV

  It seem’d, however, but to open on

  A range or suite of further chambers, which

  Might lead to heaven knows where; but in this one

  The movables were prodigally rich:

  Sofas ‘t was half a sin to sit upon,

  So costly were they; carpets every stitch

  Of workmanship so rare, they made you wish

  You could glide o’er them like a golden fish.

  LXVI

  The black, however, without hardly deigning

  A glance at that which wrapt the slaves in wonder,

  Trampled what they scarce trod for fear of staining,

  As if the milky way their feet was under

  With all its stars; and with a stretch attaining

  A certain press or cupboard niched in yonder —

  In that remote recess which you may see —

  Or if you don’t the fault is not in me, —

  LXVII

  I wish to be perspicuous; and the black,

  I say, unlocking the recess, pull’d forth

  A quantity of clothes fit for the back

  Of any Mussulman, whate’er his worth;

  And of variety there was no lack —

  And yet, though I have said there was no dearth,

  He chose himself to point out what he thought

  Most proper for the Christians he had bought.

  LXVIII

  The suit he thought most suitable to each

  Was, for the elder and the stouter, first

  A Candiote cloak, which to the knee might reach,

  And trousers not so tight that they would burst,

  But such as fit an Asiatic breech;

  A shawl, whose folds in Cashmire had been nurst,

  Slippers of saffron, dagger rich and handy;

  In short, all things which form a Turkish Dandy.

  LXIX

  While he was dressing, Baba, their black friend,

  Hinted the vast advantages which they

  Might probably attain both in the end,

  If they would but pursue the proper way

  Which fortune plainly seem’d to recommend;

  And then he added, that he needs must say,

  “‘T would greatly tend to better their condition,

  If they would condescend to circumcision.

  LXX

  “For his own part, he really should rejoice

  To see them true believers, but no less

  Would leave his proposition to their choice.”

  The other, thanking him for this excess

  Of goodness, in thus leaving them a voice

  In such a trifle, scarcely could express

  “Sufficiently” (he said) “his approbation

  Of all the customs of this polish’d nation.

  LXXI

  “For his own share — he saw but small objection

  To so respectable an ancient rite;

  And, after swallowing down a slight refection,

  For which he own’d a present appetite,

  He doubted not a few hours of reflection

  Would reconcile him to the business quite.”

  “Will it?” said Juan, sharply: “Strike me dead,

  But they as soon shall circumcise my head!

  LXXII

  “Cut off a thousand heads, before—” — “Now, pray,”

  Replied the other, “do not interrupt:

  You put me out in what I had to say.

  Sir! — as I said, as soon as I have supt,

  I shall perpend if your proposal may

  Be such as I can properly accept;

  Provided always your great goodness still

  Remits the matter to our own free-will.”

  LXXIII

  Baba eyed Juan, and said, “Be so good

  As dress yourself-” and pointed out a suit

  In which a Princess with great pleasure would

  Array her limbs; but Juan standing mute,

  As not being in a masquerading mood,

  Gave it a slight kick with his Christian foot;

  And when the old negro told him to “Get ready,”

  Replied, “Old gentleman, I’m not a lady.”

  LXXIV

  “What you may be, I neither know nor care,”

  Said Baba; “but pray do as I desire:

  I have no more time nor many words to spare.”

  ”At least,” said Juan, “sure I may enquire

  The cause of this odd travesty?” — “Forbear,”

  Said Baba, “to be curious; ‘t will transpire,

  No doubt, in proper place, and time, and season:

  I have no authority to tell the reason.”

  LXXV

  “Then if I do,” said Juan, “I’ll be —” — “Hold!”

  Rejoin’d the negro, “pray be not provoking;

  This spirit’s well, but it may wax too bold,

  And you will find us not too fond of joking.”

  “What, sir!” said Juan, “shall it e’er be told

  That I unsex’d my dress?” But Baba, stroking

  The things down, said, “Incense me, and I call

  Those who will leave you of no sex at all.

  LXXVI

  “I offer you a handsome suit of clothes:

  A woman’s, true; but then there is a cause

  Why you should wear them.” — “What, though my soul loathes

  The effeminate garb?” — thus, after a short pause,

  Sigh’d Juan, muttering also some slight oaths,

  ”What the devil shall I do with all this gauze?”

  Thus he profanely term’d the finest lace

  Which e’er set off a marriage-morning face.

  LXXVII

  And then he swore; and, sighing, on he slipp’d

  A pair of trousers of flesh-colour’d silk;

  Next with a virgin zone he was equipp’d,

  Which girt a slight chemise as white as milk;

  But tugging on his petticoat, he tripp’d,

  Which — as we say — or, as the Scotch say, whilk

  (The rhyme obliges me to this; sometimes

  Monarchs are less imperative than rhymes) —

  LXXVIII

  Whilk, which (or what you please), was owing to

  His garment’s novelty, and his being awkward:

  And yet at last he managed to get through

  His toilet, though no doubt a little backward:

  The negro Baba help’d a little too,

  When some untoward part of raiment stuck hard;

  And, wrestling both his arms into a gown,

  He paused, and took a survey up and down.

  LXXIX

  One difficulty still remain’d — his hair

  Was hardly long enough; but Baba found

  So many false long tresses all to spare,

  That soon his head was most completely crown’d,

  After the manner then in fashion there;

  And this addition with such gems was bound

  As suited the ensemble of his toilet,

  While Baba made him comb his head and oil it.

  LXXX

  And now being femininely all array’d,

  With some small aid from scissors, paint, and tweezers,

  He look’d in almost all respects a maid,

  And Baba smilingly exclaim’d, “You see, sirs,

  A perfect transformation here display’d;

  And now, then, you must come along with me, sirs,

  That is — the Lady:” clapping his hands twice,r />
  Four blacks were at his elbow in a trice.

  LXXXI

  “You, sir,” said Baba, nodding to the one,

  ’Will please to accompany those gentlemen

  To supper; but you, worthy Christian nun,

  Will follow me: no trifling, sir; for when

  I say a thing, it must at once be done.

  What fear you? think you this a lion’s den?

  Why, ‘t is a palace; where the truly wise

  Anticipate the Prophet’s paradise.

  LXXXII

  “You fool! I tell you no one means you harm.”

  ”So much the better,” Juan said, “for them;

  Else they shall feel the weight of this my arm,

  Which is not quite so light as you may deem.

  I yield thus far; but soon will break the charm

  If any take me for that which I seem:

  So that I trust for everybody’s sake,

  That this disguise may lead to no mistake.”

  LXXXIII

  “Blockhead! come on, and see,” quoth Baba; while

  Don Juan, turning to his comrade, who

  Though somewhat grieved, could scarce forbear a smile

  Upon the metamorphosis in view, —

  “Farewell!” they mutually exclaim’d: “this soil

  Seems fertile in adventures strange and new;

  One’s turn’d half Mussulman, and one a maid,

  By this old black enchanter’s unsought aid.”

  LXXXIV

  “Farewell!” said Juan: ‘should we meet no more,

  I wish you a good appetite.” — “Farewell!”

  Replied the other; “though it grieves me sore;

  When we next meet we’ll have a tale to tell:

  We needs must follow when Fate puts from shore.

  Keep your good name; though Eve herself once fell.”

  “Nay,” quoth the maid, “the Sultan’s self shan’t carry me,

  Unless his highness promises to marry me.”

  LXXXV

  And thus they parted, each by separate doors;

  Baba led Juan onward room by room

  Through glittering galleries and o’er marble floors,

  Till a gigantic portal through the gloom,

  Haughty and huge, along the distance lowers;

  And wafted far arose a rich perfume:

  It seem’d as though they came upon a shrine,

  For all was vast, still, fragrant, and divine.

  LXXXVI

  The giant door was broad, and bright, and high,

  Of gilded bronze, and carved in curious guise;

  Warriors thereon were battling furiously;

  Here stalks the victor, there the vanquish’d lies;

  There captives led in triumph droop the eye,

  And in perspective many a squadron flies:

  It seems the work of times before the line

  Of Rome transplanted fell with Constantine.

  LXXXVII

  This massy portal stood at the wide close

  Of a huge hall, and on its either side

  Two little dwarfs, the least you could suppose,

  Were sate, like ugly imps, as if allied

  In mockery to the enormous gate which rose

  O’er them in almost pyramidic pride:

  The gate so splendid was in all its features,

  You never thought about those little creatures,

  LXXXVIII

  Until you nearly trod on them, and then

  You started back in horror to survey

  The wondrous hideousness of those small men,

  Whose colour was not black, nor white, nor grey,

  But an extraneous mixture, which no pen

  Can trace, although perhaps the pencil may;

  They were mis-shapen pigmies, deaf and dumb —

  Monsters, who cost a no less monstrous sum.

  LXXXIX

  Their duty was — for they were strong, and though

  They look’d so little, did strong things at times —

  To ope this door, which they could really do,

  The hinges being as smooth as Rogers’ rhymes;

  And now and then, with tough strings of the bow,

  As is the custom of those Eastern climes,

  To give some rebel Pacha a cravat;

  For mutes are generally used for that.

  XC

  They spoke by signs — that is, not spoke at all;

  And looking like two incubi, they glared

  As Baba with his fingers made them fall

  To heaving back the portal folds: it scared

  Juan a moment, as this pair so small

  With shrinking serpent optics on him stared;

  It was as if their little looks could poison

  Or fascinate whome’er they fix’d their eyes on.

  XCI

  Before they enter’d, Baba paused to hint

  To Juan some slight lessons as his guide:

  “If you could just contrive,” he said, “to stint

  That somewhat manly majesty of stride,

  ‘T would be as well, and (though there’s not much in ‘t)

  To swing a little less from side to side,

  Which has at times an aspect of the oddest; —

  And also could you look a little modest,

  XCII

  “‘T would be convenient; for these mutes have eyes

  Like needles, which may pierce those petticoats;

  And if they should discover your disguise,

  You know how near us the deep Bosphorus floats;

  And you and I may chance, ere morning rise,

  To find our way to Marmora without boats,

  Stitch’d up in sacks — a mode of navigation

  A good deal practised here upon occasion.”

  XCIII

  With this encouragement, he led the way

  Into a room still nobler than the last;

  A rich confusion form’d a disarray

  In such sort, that the eye along it cast

  Could hardly carry anything away,

  Object on object flash’d so bright and fast;

  A dazzling mass of gems, and gold, and glitter,

  Magnificently mingled in a litter.

  XCIV

  Wealth had done wonders — taste not much; such things

  Occur in Orient palaces, and even

  In the more chasten’d domes of Western kings

  (Of which I have also seen some six or seven),

  Where I can’t say or gold or diamond flings

  Great lustre, there is much to be forgiven;

  Groups of bad statues, tables, chairs, and pictures,

  On which I cannot pause to make my strictures.

  XCV

  In this imperial hall, at distance lay

  Under a canopy, and there reclined

  Quite in a confidential queenly way,

  A lady; Baba stopp’d, and kneeling sign’d

  To Juan, who though not much used to pray,

  Knelt down by instinct, wondering in his mind,

  What all this meant: while Baba bow’d and bended

  His head, until the ceremony ended.

  XCVI

  The lady rising up with such an air

  As Venus rose with from the wave, on them

  Bent like an antelope a Paphian pair

  Of eyes, which put out each surrounding gem;

  And raising up an arm as moonlight fair,

  She sign’d to Baba, who first kiss’d the hem

  Of her deep purple robe, and speaking low,

  Pointed to Juan who remain’d below.

  XCVII

  Her presence was as lofty as her state;

  Her beauty of that overpowering kind,

  Whose force description only would abate:


  I’d rather leave it much to your own mind,

  Than lessen it by what I could relate

  Of forms and features; it would strike you blind

  Could I do justice to the full detail;

  So, luckily for both, my phrases fail.

  XCVIII

  Thus much however I may add, — her years

  Were ripe, they might make six-and-twenty springs;

  But there are forms which Time to touch forbears,

  And turns aside his scythe to vulgar things,

  Such as was Mary’s Queen of Scots; true — tears

  And love destroy; and sapping sorrow wrings

  Charms from the charmer, yet some never grow

  Ugly; for instance — Ninon de l’Enclos.

  XCIX

  She spake some words to her attendants, who

  Composed a choir of girls, ten or a dozen,

  And were all clad alike; like Juan, too,

  Who wore their uniform, by Baba chosen;

  They form’d a very nymph-like looking crew,

  Which might have call’d Diana’s chorus “cousin,”

  As far as outward show may correspond;

  I won’t be bail for anything beyond.

  C

  They bow’d obeisance and withdrew, retiring,

  But not by the same door through which came in

  Baba and Juan, which last stood admiring,

  At some small distance, all he saw within

  This strange saloon, much fitted for inspiring

  Marvel and praise; for both or none things win;

  And I must say, I ne’er could see the very

  Great happiness of the “Nil Admirari.”

  CI

  “Not to admire is all the art I know

  (Plain truth, dear Murray, needs few flowers of speech)

  To make men happy, or to keep them so”

  (So take it in the very words of Creech) —

  Thus Horace wrote we all know long ago;

  And thus Pope quotes the precept to re-teach

  From his translation; but had none admired,

  Would Pope have sung, or Horace been inspired?

  CII

  Baba, when all the damsels were withdrawn,

  Motion’d to Juan to approach, and then

  A second time desired him to kneel down,

  And kiss the lady’s foot; which maxim when

  He heard repeated, Juan with a frown

  Drew himself up to his full height again,

  And said, “It grieved him, but he could not stoop

  To any shoe, unless it shod the Pope.”

  CIII

  Baba, indignant at this ill-timed pride,

  Made fierce remonstrances, and then a threat

  He mutter’d (but the last was given aside)

  About a bow-string — quite in vain; not yet

  Would Juan bend, though ‘t were to Mahomet’s bride:

  There’s nothing in the world like etiquette

 

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