Hold Me Down Hard

by Cathryn Fox

  “Everything okay?” she asked, wanting him to open up to her about his work in the hopes that sharing his bad days would make it easier. She knew his job was dangerous, but he was smart, skilled, a warrior who knew how to take care of himself, which helped ease her worries when he was on the streets.

  He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something, but then he frowned and said, “The captain needs me. I have to go.”

  Eden glanced at the clock, her stomach in knots because this was not how she expected her morning to go. Jay seemed a little distant, a little distracted, and she feared it had more to do with her and what had transpired between them than the work call he’d just received.

  Trying to play things off as casual, she shrugged and said, “I have to go, too. I’m due on set in a few hours.”

  He climbed from the bed and she tried not to stare, tried not to feel overwhelmed with emotions when he disappeared into the bathroom. She listened to the shower, then a few minutes later he was back in his bedroom, pulling on his uniform.

  He stood at the foot of the bed and turned to her, and she could feel the strain between them. His eyes met hers. They looked dark, tortured. Regretful.

  Eden’s stomach dropped as he scrubbed a hand over his chin and said, “Lock up on your way out.”

  With her voice lodged somewhere in her throat, she simply nodded and tugged the sheet up to her neck.

  Oh, God, what have I done?

  She stayed there for a long time, wondering if she’d made a mistake, one that could very well have cost her a friendship. She wanted Jay, of that she had no doubt. And last night, he’d wanted her, too. Sexually, at least.

  But that didn’t mean he wanted anything more from her, and perhaps he’d only had sex with her because she really hadn’t given him much of a choice.

  Then another thought hit. Perhaps he’d caught on that she’d written the script and now that he was aware of her secret desires, he thought she was some sort of freak because she wanted to be tied up, to be held down hard, and to enjoy kinky things like spankings and exhibitionism.

  Either way, while it might have been the best night of her life, this morning was turning out to be the worst one she’d ever faced.

  Her stomach rebelled, and, needing in the most desperate way to get out of there, she climbed from the bed and pulled on her skirt and ripped blouse. On the floor she spotted the uniform he’d been wearing last night, her panties, and his cuffs sticking out of the pocket.

  As she hurried to the door, a framed picture on his dresser caught her attention. She stopped for a brief moment to take a look and that’s when she realized she’d never actually been in his bedroom before last night. When she spotted a young girl holding a cake that said Happy Sixteenth Jess, her heart went into her throat, because she knew from the resemblance that Jess was Jay’s sister.

  Her mind raced and as sadness welled up inside her she understood there was so much more to this man’s life than she knew, so much more than he’d let her see. With the way he tore out of here earlier, she was pretty certain he’d only ever wanted her friendship, but she’d screwed things up so badly he might not even want that anymore.

  …

  With his work day over, Jay maneuvered his Jeep through the Friday evening traffic and thought more about his night with Eden. She’d wanted him. Of that, he was certain. Hell, he’d wanted her, too. Which, truth be told, was the reason he hadn’t been with another woman in weeks. How could he possibly bed someone else when his thoughts were completely preoccupied with Eden?

  But he’d let her down.

  He’d let himself down.

  He went at her the way he knew he would. Like a goddamn animal.

  She was sweet and innocent and deserved soft and slow. What she didn’t deserve was a man who wanted to fuck as hard as he worked. A man who needed to let off a little steam after a rough day on the beat.

  A man who couldn’t give her what she’d want.

  Shit.

  Eden needed a man who came home every night to make soft love to her. Not a man who worked the beat and sometimes didn’t come home at all.

  But now that they’d crossed a line and had taken their relationship to a whole new level, he knew they couldn’t go back. Everything had changed, including their friendship, and he needed to figure out what the hell he was going to do about it, because he damn well wasn’t about to lose her from his life. He drove around the city a little longer, trying to figure out how to make this right. He wanted her in his life, of that much he was certain, but how could he have her and continue to honor his sister’s memory? While he wasn’t certain about the latter, he knew he needed to start in the bedroom and at least make that part right between them.

  By the time he reached his condo it was late, well past the time he usually checked in on Eden. But it would still be a bit longer because he had a stage to set.

  He hurried inside his place and after he had everything arranged, he hopped in the shower to scrub the streets from his skin. Once clean, he pulled on a pair of jeans and a T-shirt and padded barefoot across the hall. He listened outside her door for a moment and for some odd reason hoped she was just on the other side of the door, listening back.

  He rapped softly and waited to hear her footsteps. But when they didn’t come he knocked again. That’s when her door inched open.

  As soon as he set eyes on her, his heart started beating faster, and it took all his restraint not to pull her in tight and plant a hungry kiss on her mouth. He took a second to look her over and noted she was dressed in a silk nightie; the warm flush on her cheeks toyed with his resolve. His cock thickened and he fisted his hands, because everything inside him urged to pull her into his arms and ravage the hell out of her.

  “Hey,” he said, trying to keep it together, because he was not about to hold her down hard and take her the way he wanted to, he reminded himself. Not ever again.

  “Hey,” she said back. Then she narrowed her eyes, concern moving over her face. “Are you okay?”

  “I’m okay,” he said, although he was anything but, because if he didn’t fix this between them, he feared he’d never be okay again.

  Disappointment moved over her face. “I know you’re not—”

  “Can you come over for a minute?”

  She looked at him for a moment, then said, “Let me grab my slippers.” She glanced around her apartment. “Now if I could only remember where I put them.”

  “Just put those on,” he said, pointing toward the sexy shoes she wore last night.

  She gave him an odd look before saying, “Okay.”

  He captured her hand in his and swallowed hard, trying not to notice how long and sexy her legs looked in those shoes as he ushered her across the hall and into his condo. Once inside, he closed the door behind them.

  He sucked in air, and when she turned to face him, looking like a soft, sexy, well-fucked woman, his throat dried. “Drink?” he asked.

  She nodded and concern moved over her face as she looked at him. “Why don’t I get it?” she said, gesturing for him to sit on the sofa. “You look like you’ve had a hard day.”

  “I’m okay,” he said.

  “I know you’re not.” She rushed out, a hardness in her tone that he’d never heard before.

  She pushed past him and went into his kitchen, where he had everything prepared for their evening. He watched her pull open the fridge, bend forward, and grab two beers from the bottom.

  The sight of her sweet little ass lifted in the air in such a provocative manner evoked a myriad of sinful thoughts and there wasn’t a damn thing he could to do purify them. She wiggled slightly, and it bombarded him with primal hunger, complicating his mission to take things slow when all he wanted to do was give her a nice long spanking, then fuck her hard.

  Get it together, Bennett.

  She turned to him, and that’s when she noticed the table. “Jay?” she asked, her eyes wide as she took in the candles waiting to be lit and a table s
et for two.

  “Eden,” he bit out, barely able to keep the need inside him under lock for another second. Not after she’d unleashed the beast in him last night.

  Her chest heaved, and the creamy swell of her breasts nearly rendered him senseless. The air around them charged and tension grew in his body. His cock swelled, everything about her taking his breath away, and there was nothing he could do to bank his desires. He drew in a shaky breath in an attempt to center himself, but there was no denying that he wanted her again. Right here. Right now.

  He tried to tamp down his desires but his cock refused to obey, and before he realized what he was doing, he crossed the room, slipped his arm around her back, and roughly tugged her to him.

  “Jay,” she rushed out, her eyes alive with anticipation as her flesh suffused with color. “Are you okay?” she asked, her warm breath scorching his skin and raising his need for her to new heights.

  “I need to fuck you.” He raked a shaky hand through her hair to push it off her face, and when he saw desire reflected in her eyes and understood how much she wanted him again, he said, “I need to fuck you so badly.”

  “Then what’s stopping you?” she asked and shifted her stance until his cock was once again aligned with her pussy.

  With his composure slipping, he backed up toward the table, dragging her with him. With one clean swoop, he cleared the top, letting the candles and plates crash to the floor.

  “Oh, God,” she rushed out, but his mouth covered hers and swallowed her gasp of surprise as he picked her clear up off the floor. Heat arced between them as he laid her out on the table and climbed on top of her. Pinning her beneath him, his mouth moved urgently over hers, seeking, searching, hungering to taste and claim every inch of her.

  His hands shaped her contours, and she quivered beneath him when he drove a knee between her legs to widen them.

  “Eden,” he whispered, struggling to draw in air.

  She ripped at his shirt, her hands rushing over his skin. “Please,” she whispered, her soft sexy plea pushing him over the edge.

  Feeling shaky and out of control, he tore open her silk nightie, his glance moving to her breasts as the buttons clattered to the floor. His mouth salivated and he groaned at the beautiful sight of her nakedness. Eager for a taste, he drew a nipple into his mouth and slipped a hand between her legs to stroke her wet heat through her damp panties.

  No longer able to think and only able to feel, he murmured, “So wet…so damn wet and ready.”

  She lifted her pelvis and pushed against his fingers, conveying what she wanted without words, but he wanted to hear her say it. “Tell me. Tell me what you want.”

  She looked straight into his eyes. “I want you to fuck me.”

  With that Jay climbed from the table, ripped off his pants and shirt, and then grabbed a condom from his back pocket before he let his clothes fall to the floor. He lowered himself onto the chair and crooked a finger.

  Eden sat up on the table, her legs spread wide, giving him a perfect view of her sweet pussy. Want clawed at him as he pushed the thin silk aside to expose her beautiful silken lips, then drove one finger all the way up inside her to test her readiness.

  Unbridled desire danced in her eyes as she groaned, her lust-saturated voice making him crazed with the need to fuck her. “So good.”

  He pulled her lips open and her clit hardened as he swiped his thumb over it. She reached out to grab his shoulders, her body trembling from head to toe. His cock throbbed, aching to be back inside her as she offered herself up so nicely to him.

  He pulled his finger out and her groan of disappointment turned into a moan of pleasure as he gripped her panties to pull them down her legs. Leaving her shoes in place, he tossed the panties to the floor and widened her legs to take a good long look at her pink sweetness.

  His nostrils flared as he pulled her rich scent into his lungs and it was all he could do to hang on as he tore open the condom to sheathe himself.

  “Come here,” he ordered, gripping her hips to drag her to him. He pulled her off the table until she was straddling his lap. Eyes full of urgent need moved over his, and a storm began brewing inside him as he lifted her until his cock breached her hot opening.

  “Take me,” she said, and with that he powered upward, lunging so deep inside her, he could hear the air leave her lungs.

  She cried out and scratched her nails over his back, her hair flying around her face as she tossed her head from side to side. The depth of his penetration and the way her pussy wrapped so tightly around him nearly had him coming upon impact.

  He bit down on the inside of his mouth when she began moving, gyrating, taking what she needed from him. Blood pulsing hot, he rammed into her and her mouth opened, but no sound came. He found her clit again, brushed his thumb over it, and she grew slicker with every stroke.

  A low growl of longing sounded deep in his throat as she pushed her nipple into his mouth. Blindsided by lust, he sucked, then bit down hard, clamping his teeth around her marbled bud until her moans of pleasure merged with his. His fingers swirled through her thick heat and he could feel her tension mounting.

  Pleasure swamped him when she began moving faster, and he gripped her hips to hold on. She rocked forward, scraping her clit over his pelvis, giving the hard nub the stimulation she needed to push herself over the edge.

  A whimper escaped her lips when Jay whispered, “You are so hot.”

  Her fingers slid into his hair, and as he sank into her slick core, her body shuddered, pressing against him, seeking what it craved. When he felt that first erotic pulse, her body clenching and throbbing with the hot flow of release, his world tilted on its axis, every nerve in his body alive and on fire.

  “That’s it,” he said between gritted teeth. “Fuck me hard, baby.” Her heat turned him inside out and he pumped harder, scraping his cock over the sensitive bundle of nerves inside her pussy. As he drew out her orgasm, she cried his name and he was sure he’d never seen a more beautiful sight than her coming undone for him.

  Intense pleasure forked through him, and as his body went up in flames, blood flowed thick and heavy in his veins. He groaned as her pussy gripped him hard. With actions ruled by lust and needing to answer the urgent demands of his body, he grabbed her shoulders and hauled her down hard on him, driving his cock impossibly deeper. She let loose a whimper, her nails clawing at his skin almost frantically.

  As he ravaged her, she moved against him, both giving and taking as they chased release. She whimpered and her eyes turned glossy. The second he felt her climax around him again, he gave a low moan of satisfaction and let go, depleting himself in her.

  “Jay,” she murmured between breaths as they clung to each other. “Oh my God.”

  He exhaled slowly and swallowed down the knot pushing into his throat as her labored words resonated inside him. They held on to each other for a long time, and once his breathing returned to normal, reality inched its way into his brain. That’s when he realized what he’d done, how hard and rough he’d taken her. Again. He pressed his palm to his forehead, disgusted with himself in so many ways.

  He closed his eyes in distress. “Oh shit, shit, shit.”

  Her hands cupped his face to bring his attention back to her. When he blinked his eyes open and saw confusion written all over her face, his heart dropped into his stomach.

  Her body tightened. “What’s wrong?”

  He pulled out of her and waved his hand around the kitchen. “This. Everything.”

  There was so much emotion on her face that when her sad eyes met his, it felt like a punch to the gut. “I don’t get it.”

  He took a moment to digest her words, then gave a shake of his head. “I didn’t do right by you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I went at you hard, when I swore I’d never do that again.” He watched the pulse at the base of her neck pick up tempo. He looked at the mess on his floor. “This is what I want for you. This is
what you deserve.”

  Her brow furrowed and she climbed off his lap. “Who says I want that?”

  He gripped her elbow and drew her back. “I was trying to be the guy you need, at least in the bedroom.”

  “What makes you think you’re not?” Dark lashes blinked over expressive amber eyes, and turmoil grew inside him.

  He quickly disposed of the condom, then took her hand to guide her to the sofa, needing to make this right. He sat on the coffee table across from her. “You’re a nice girl and I’m a cop who lives a dangerous life. One I want to protect you from. Bad shit happens in my world on a daily basis. Things I don’t want you to know about.”

  “But I want to know about it,” she bit out, frustration lacing her normally calm voice. “Don’t you see? I want you to share your day with me. I want to be there to help you cope with all the bad things that happen.”

  “Eden, listen—”

  “No, you listen.” She gave a hard shake of her head, her blond curls flaring around her face. “I don’t know why everyone has the idea that farm girls are delicate beings who chase butterflies and pick daisies. I was driving a tractor at ten years old, and I’m a lot tougher than you think.” She blew out a long breath, and her voice softened, becoming unusually low when she added, “I didn’t break last night, did I? Or just now?”

  Jay cringed. “I never should have gone at you like that. But I’ve wanted you for so fucking long now, and the truth is, sometimes after a hard day, I need to let off a little steam. But it won’t happen again.” He dropped his gaze to the floor. “It won’t.”

  “That’s too bad.”

  His head came up with a start. “Too bad? What are you talking about?”

  “Yeah, because I want it to happen again.”

  He shook his head, trying to make sense of what she was saying. “No, you need a guy who can make slow, passionate love to you. I’ll try to be that guy you need in the bedroom, but I can’t…” He paused and his words fell off. After a long moment he rubbed the tattoo on his arm and continued with, “I just don’t know how to be the guy you need outside of sex.”