Phantom (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #5)

by Michelle Irwin

  “Phoebe.” The female voice made me jump, and I had to swallow down the scream that leapt to my throat.

  “Veronica?” I tried to confirm as I straightened my back and worked to slow my heart rate.

  “I can’t thank you enough for agreeing to meet with me. I know your dad probably told you to ignore me. He still won’t answer any of my calls.”

  “I’m sure he has a good reason for that,” I shot back. “He usually does.”

  I could feel Beau’s gaze on me, and I wondered whether he found my words to be unnecessarily harsh. My mind was spinning though, and the influx of information from all sources was too much to deal with.

  Veronica’s hopeful smile fell and her gaze dropped. “Will you at least hear me out?”

  I flourished my hand towards the booth seat opposite Beau and me. “Sit. Explain why you’re stalking my family, and how the hell you got my number. Then maybe we’ll talk about whether I’ll hear anything more.”

  She slid into the booth and held her hands out in front of her. Rather than meeting my eyes, her gaze remained fixed on that spot.

  “I got your number from my PI. It’s actually a little scary how readily ‘private’ information is available.”

  I almost climbed straight from the booth without another word. Why on earth did she need a private investigator? I stopped just long enough to acknowledge that she wasn’t lying to me or hiding that information. I gritted my teeth. “Go on.”

  “Did Declan tell you about the first time we met?” she asked.

  For the first time since agreeing to meet her, apprehension grew about what news she might have to give. Was she trying to tell me some deep dark secret from Dad’s past? I guessed from her appearance that she was a good couple of years younger than him, but that didn’t mean she actually was. Maybe she was one of his affairs from the time Mum and Dad weren’t together. Or later than that maybe. Maybe Dad was more like his father than he ever acknowledged. After all, Angel was in love with me, and had been for years, who knew what was real or not anymore?

  I shook my head and squeezed Beau’s hand while I waited for her to continue.

  “I guess the story goes back even further than that though. See, I never knew my father.”

  Her statement only served to muddy the waters further. It was impossible that she could be claiming Dad was her father; he wasn’t nearly old enough to be. He’d been seventeen when I was conceived, and she had a good few years up on me.

  “Then, well, I lost my mum around two and a half years ago. When I was sorting through her house, I found an envelope full of letters addressed to her. They stretched back years.” She lifted her satchel onto the table and pulled out an envelope. “They’re all from the same man.”

  Her gaze lifted to mine as she slid the envelope across to me.

  What does this have to do with Dad?

  I let the envelope sit untouched next to my cooling mug of hot chocolate.

  “Robert Reede,” she continued, before drawing a heavy breath. “My father.”

  My grandfather?

  Beau’s eyes pinched as he stared at me; no doubt trying to figure out who that might be to me and the appropriate way to act based on my reaction. I was beyond the ability to think or feel anything though. After dealing with Angel walking out on me hours earlier, this was all just another revelation that I couldn’t comprehend.

  Maybe it had been a mistake to agree to meet Veronica.

  All at once, things tumbled into place like dominoes. With my heart pounding in my chest, I drew the letters out of the envelope. The handwriting was instantly familiar. I didn’t even have to read a word to recognise it from the obligatory Christmas cards we received each year addressed to Dear Declan and family. Because being included as an afterthought by our grandfather was the warm Christmas greeting we all wanted.

  My gaze trailed over the first letter.

  Dearest Stephanie,

  I was disheartened to learn that you have chosen to keep the child despite being aware of my delicate situation. In fairness to all, I believe it will be best if we part ways in order for you to fulfil your personal desire to be a mother.

  As discussed in our last telephone conversation. I will provide a monthly figure to assist in the costs of raising your child to adulthood. In return, I request your continued discretion as far as Kelly and Declan are concerned. I understand your relationship with Kelly might make this position seem unfair. However, you will only hurt her more if you reveal the truth of our relationship to her.

  It would be very disappointing to me if information regarding your child were to come out to anyone in our circle. I am sure you could appreciate how that might impact negatively not only on myself but also on your future career goals and financial situation.

  Yours respectfully,

  Robert Reede.

  My gaze travelled from the page to Veronica’s face and back again.

  My aunt?

  “I was trying to get in contact with him to find out more, but it was difficult. Then I heard about his death and had to go to the funeral. When I saw your dad, I felt like I needed to speak to him. I think I went about it the wrong way. I’m just looking for family, for a connection. I just want to find where I belong.”

  “You approached Dad at his father’s funeral?” No wonder she put him offside. He was already reeling from losing his father before they could reconcile.

  She buried her head in her hands. “It wasn’t my smartest move, but I was desperate. You’ve got a loving family; you can’t understand what it’s like to not feel like I belong anywhere.”

  Thoughts of Angel, my soul sister, filled me and my sympathy grew for Veronica. I knew how Angel felt about my family. One more thing I’d stolen away from her without knowing I was pushing her so far away.

  “I couldn’t get through to Robert’s new wife, and everywhere I turned I ran up against red tape. According to every official channel, I’m not his daughter.”

  Her words seemed wrong. “Is this about his estate?”

  Beau squeezed my hand, no doubt trying to warn me silently that I was overstepping what was considered polite. I understood that, but if this woman was trying to get to Dad with some greedy intent, I wasn’t going to make her life easier.

  “What? No! I wanted to find Robert to see if he’d changed, but it was too much to resist when the opportunity for getting to know my brother came up.”

  “You’re my aunt,” I said the words out loud, giving them a power they wouldn’t have had otherwise.

  She flashed me a weak smile. “Apparently Mum and Robert used to work together before I was born. Every letter in that folder was accompanied by a cheque. Every single one contained hush money to stop Mum from telling your grandmother or dad about me. It broke my heart to learn that she knew where my brother and father were the whole time and kept it a secret from me in exchange for a few measly dollars.”

  “I’m sorry,” Beau said. The downturn of his lips told me he was likely to be thinking about his own situation. About the way he’d felt before landing in Mabel’s house.

  Between my knowledge of his past and Angel’s, I could understand Veronica’s point of view. In a short space of time she’d lost her mother, learned about and then lost her father, and then discovered her only half-brother wanted nothing to do with her.

  How would I have felt in the same situation?

  Regardless, it meant more lies and secrets that had been hidden, and I was sick of them. Things needed to be out in the open all around. If I’d known about the truth of Angel’s feelings, could I have done things differently?

  “I’ll talk to Dad,” I said, “but I can’t promise I’ll make any headway. He’s stubborn and won’t change his mind easily. He’s probably just overwhelmed by the information. He . . .” I trailed off as I tried to decide how much of Dad’s story to give away. “He didn’t get along all that great with Grandad, not after Dad learned about his cheating at least.”

  She leant
forward to grab my hands, but I jerked back out of the way. As soon as I had, I placed my hands in my lap and muttered an apology.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I should have known better because I watched your interview. I’m just glad I’ve been able to talk to you today. That you’ve stopped to listen to me long enough to hear what I needed to say.”

  I nodded. “I wish it would make things better for you.”

  “It already has. I got to speak to one of my beautiful nieces.”

  I flinched at her words, and Beau offered his hand.

  “I’ll talk to Dad,” I promised again.

  “Maybe we can meet again, even if he still refuses to talk to me.”

  Giving Beau’s hand a squeeze for comfort, I said, “Maybe.”

  I thought about what Veronica must have gone through during her life. It raised another question for me—one I’d asked myself a thousand times before. How different might my life have been without Dad coming back when he had?

  I stood and farewelled Veronica, who looked as shell shocked as I felt. Her face was pale against her dark hair, and her chocolate eyes were wide.

  “C’mon, Beau,” I said, dragging him out of the cafe. “I need to go see Dad.”

  “Now? Are ya sure?”

  “I need to do this.” I didn’t say that I needed to keep moving or I would fall apart.

  Once again, we took the time to get set up on the bike, and then I headed straight in the direction of Emmanuel Racing headquarters. It was getting late, but with the final race of the season behind him, Dad would be getting ready to close up for the Christmas break. It always meant a few slightly longer days for him.

  I parked up, and Beau headed to his desk so that I could find Dad on my own.

  As I’d expected he was at his desk.

  “Dad, I need to talk to you.” I didn’t wait for a response. Instead, I just crossed his office and sat opposite him.

  “Phoebe?” He lifted his head. “What’s up?”

  “It’s about Veronica.”

  He scowled before seeming to remember himself. “I’ve already told you. She’s no one, and I don’t want to talk to her.”

  “She’s not no one,” I challenged. “She’s your sister.”

  His turquoise eyes flashed. “You spoke with her?”

  “We met.” I rushed to get the words out before he could cut me off.

  “She had no right to talk—”

  “She had every right. I agreed to meet with her.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I—” I stopped myself from saying anything about Angel. I’d have to explain to Mum and Dad eventually—they’d ask where she was if they didn’t see her soon—but it could wait. I focused on the meeting with Veronica instead. “I was trying to find out what she wanted. I was planning on telling her to leave us alone and stop stalking you.”

  “Pheebs, I don’t need you to protect me. I had it handled.”

  “No. You’re ignoring the issue and hoping it will go away. It’s not going to go away and honestly, I can understand her persistence now that I know the truth.”

  He buried his head in his hands. “You sound just like your mum.”

  “So Mum knows?”

  “Of course. Do you know how much grief I would cop if a strange woman kept calling and Mum didn’t know?”

  “And what does she think?”

  “What do you reckon she thinks?”

  “That you should talk to Veronica and clear the air.” It wasn’t a hard guess—I knew Mum well enough to know her reaction to the news. I also knew she wouldn’t go behind Dad’s back if he’d told her he didn’t want to reconnect.

  “It’s just not that easy.”

  “Why not?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

  “Because if I do, it’s not just talking to Veronica. It’s acknowledging Dad’s mistakes. And mine.”

  “How is she your mistake?”

  “She isn’t. You are.”

  I flinched at his words. It was something I’d known and been self-conscious about for years. Emmanuel and I were both the result of an unplanned—and for Dad’s part, at least initially, unwanted—pregnancy.

  “Oh, baby girl, I don’t mean it like that.” He reached his hand out for me but stopped himself when I leant backwards. “She’s what could have been for you and your mum. If Danny hadn’t stepped in and put me on that plane . . . If a hundred things had gone differently, that could have been your life. Just the two of you, and then waking up one day with nothing, and no one.”

  “It might have been, but it wasn’t,” I said, offering him my hand. The truth was our situation was completely different to Veronica’s. Dad hadn’t known about me, through his own stubbornness, but that was nothing like Grandad’s deliberate hush money. “Regardless though, it’s not fair to take any of that out on Veronica.”

  “I’m not—” He cut off with a sigh when I raised my brow. “I don’t mean to take it out on anyone. It’s just . . . with everything else going on, it’s been too much to handle.”

  “Bullshit.” I didn’t know how I found the word or the challenge it held.

  “What?” Dad’s eyes widened, no doubt wondering the same thing I was.

  “You heard me,” I said, straightening my back and refusing to back down even though my heart raced. “I think that’s bullshit. Grandad’s funeral was almost a year ago. Months before . . . everything. I know his death rattled you, but there were months after that when you could have made contact with Veronica before things . . . changed. You’re ignoring it all, and that’s not fair. It’s not fair to Veronica, and it’s not fair to any of us.”

  He crossed his arms over his chest. “How do you figure?”

  “Whether you ignore it or not, the facts aren’t going to change. She’s our aunt. Don’t we all deserve the chance to get to know her? Besides, we’re the only family she has left.”

  “She—” He frowned. “I mean . . .”

  “Think about it. And consider this while you are. She’s had this knowledge for over twelve months, and she hasn’t gone to the press. You think there isn’t a reporter worth their salt who wouldn’t print the story of Robert Reede’s love child? Declan Reede’s secret sister?” I handed him her number. “I know you’ll do the right thing.”

  He studied the sheet of paper for a moment and sighed. “When did you get so grown up?”

  A flash of blonde hair and a bitter ache hit me. “When I had to. Life isn’t a fucking fairy tale, so we have to do what we can to brighten up people’s days.”

  And try not to destroy the ones we love in the process.

  At the thought, I broke. I hadn’t planned on muddling the conversation, but I couldn’t hold the pain in anymore. Focusing on new things was doing jack shit to stop the agony.

  Dad rounded his desk in a heartbeat. “What is it, baby girl?”

  “It’s A-Angel.” I could barely get her name out. “She left.”

  “What do you mean? Did she move back to her mum’s?”

  I shook my head and stared at my hands, watching as the tears fell from my nose and wet the skin near my joined thumbs. “She said she couldn’t do it anymore. Live with me. She went to London.”

  He offered his arms, and I fell forward into them.

  “She said she doesn’t want to see me again.”

  For a moment, he seemed lost, but then he patted my back. “I don’t think she meant it—”

  My sobs grew louder. “She did. She’s been in love with me since high school, and I led her on like the fucking bitch I am.”

  “Hey, now, that’s not true. You’re not a bitch. You’ve been everything for Angel and if she can’t see that, if she really thinks you’re a bitch, then she isn’t the girl I thought she was, and I’m disappointed in her.”

  “Don’t say that about her.” I pushed him away and wrapped my arms around myself.

  “I’m sorry, Pheebs, but the girl I thought she was would never have broken your heart like this.
”

  I retreated another step. “You’ve got it backwards. I broke hers. Every time I was happy with Beau, I broke her heart a little more. Living together, it just pushed things towards the end that much faster. I hurt her, and I deserve this pain.”

  “You can’t hate yourself for being happy. Not after everything you’ve been through.”

  I pulled away completely. “Watch me.”

  With the sorrow coursing through me, I didn’t even go in search of Beau. Instead, I went to my bike and jumped on before heading off to find another place I’d shared with Angel. Somewhere I could find our closeness and prove that there had been a time when I was good for her. That it hadn’t all just been me stringing her along without a thought.

  Once again, I found myself at Cedar Creek Falls. I raced down the natural staircase as fast as I dared. I needed to be somewhere I could remember Angel—experience the good times we’d shared.

  Only when I reached the bottom, she wasn’t there. Not even a ghost of her existed in that place. All I had was the gaping nothingness torn apart by the certainty that I’d broken her.

  I stripped off everything except my T-shirt, bra, and panties, and rushed straight into the frigid water. I swam to the waterfall and stood beneath it until the churning water suffocated me and the roar of the water rushing over the rocks drowned out all the noise within me.

  Then I broke down with a primal scream and let go of everything.

  MY FINGERS WERE ice-cold and wrinkled by the time I crawled from underneath the waterfall. My eyes were the only things that were dry, and they ached because of it. I had no doubt my cheeks were puffy, and my face would be red. I couldn’t feel my toes and a chill settled into my body.

  The sun was hanging on the horizon by a thread and even though it was late November being up in the mountains meant there was an icy breeze. I’d barely taken a few steps before I was shivering and my teeth chattered together.

  I reached the place where I’d left my things and slowly pieced my outfit back together. Because I didn’t have a change of underwear or another shirt, I had to leave the wet ones underneath everything. It made it a little harder to pull on my clothing, and harder still to get warm. Once I was dressed, I picked my way back up the cut out to get to the carpark. My bike was the only vehicle left.