Phantom (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #5)

by Michelle Irwin

  “I have to give up my position as a driver,” I said.

  Mum gave Dad a sly look, one that told me perhaps she’d suspected we were trying for a baby.

  Dad offered a raised brow in return. “Is that right? Why might that be?”

  He looked like he was fighting a smile.

  They obviously both thought I was trying to tell them I was pregnant. The thought pierced me. I stared at the ceiling. “Things have deteriorated. I’m at stage four.” I rushed the words so that I could ensure they all came out.

  Both Mum and Dad had a similar reaction. Their smiles fell, eyes widened, and breaths caught. “What?”

  I explained what Dr Reins had told me. The failing and the risks of being in the car.

  “Oh God,” Mum said before wringing her hands together.

  Dad stood up and left the room without another word.

  I leapt in my skin when a loud thump and a string of curse words came a second later.

  “I’m sorry,” I said. “I know that might not be the news you were hoping for.”

  Mum’s hand closed around mine. “You don’t need to apologise. We just need to work out a plan of action and set it into motion.”

  “Right now, there’s nothing anyone else can do. I just need to focus on getting healthy.” I glanced at the hallway where Dad had disappeared and still hadn’t returned. “Is Dad going to be okay?”

  “He’ll be fine. He just needs to get it out. You know what it’s like.” It wasn’t a question. He and I were so similar we both had the same reaction to bad news. The initial need to explode or run away, and the reasoned calm could come later.

  Beau excused himself, and I watched him walk down in the same direction Dad had gone.

  “How are you feeling really?” Mum asked as she moved closer to me.

  “Tired.” It was the best way I could sum up everything. “Some days I just want to rewind time by a year or two and start over.”

  She wrapped her hands around mine. “Have you spoken with Angel?”

  I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head. Overnight, Beau had offered to tell her about the changes to my health, but I didn’t want her walking back into my life because she pitied me. “I miss her, but I have to respect what she wanted.”

  “Things that people want change with their circumstances.”

  I rubbed the back of my neck as I considered the truth in her words. Applying them to myself, I found myself fighting a grin. Wasn’t that the reason I’d told Beau I’d marry him? “Yeah, I know.”

  “What is it?”

  My grin fell. I couldn’t tell Mum that yet, not until I had a ring on my finger and something to tell her. “Nothing. Or at least, nothing yet.”

  “I’m sorry that you’re going through this, sweetheart.”

  “It was never unexpected, was it?” I sat curled against her while I waited for Beau to return.

  “I guess not, but I hoped for the best. You know . . .” She paused. “Well, if it comes down to needing a new kidney, your dad and I are both ready and willing to be tested. I think half of the adults in your life would be there in a flash to donate a kidney if you needed them to.”

  I nodded. It wasn’t a surprise, and I was grateful. It would be something that we’d have to look at when the time came though because I wouldn’t let anyone else risk their own quality of life for me.

  A little more than ten minutes had passed before Beau and Dad came out of the room together. Both of them wore matching grins and Dad’s lips curled even higher when his gaze found mine.

  “What’s going on?” I asked.

  “Just making battle plans for the rest of the year,” Dad said. “I’m sorry that you’ve had this diagnosis, but I know you’re going to fight like hell. You wouldn’t be my daughter if you didn’t.” He winked.

  “So you’re not upset that I’m going to desert part way through the year and leave any chance at the championship in the wake?”

  “Your health is more important than any race. The sponsors will either like it or not. If they pull out, we’ve got reserves.”

  “Are you sure? I don’t—”

  He kneeled in front of me. “Leave the worrying about that to your mum and me.”

  “And you’re happy with Beau taking on the car?” There was no possible way for Beau to get anywhere near the top of the championship table in the months left.

  “I do have one problem with it.”

  I frowned and glanced between Dad and Beau. I hadn’t anticipated any issues. “What’s that?”

  “I’m going to be losing a damn fine race controller. At least I have one in reserve.”

  “What happened to my protective Daddy who was certain no one would ever be good enough for his little girl?”

  “He met a guy that proved him wrong time and time again.”

  “You’re admitting you were wrong?” I gasped to tease him. “Do you know something I don’t? Am I actually dying after all?” I stood and wrapped my arms around Dad.

  Beau laughed beside me. It was probably a little bit of a morbid joke, but things had been too serious for too long.

  “I’ll still kill him if he ever hurts you again,” Dad breathed against my ear as we held each other close.

  With the news out in the open, we discussed when and if to tell my siblings. Thankfully living away from home would mean they wouldn’t be exposed to the worst of it, but we didn’t want to lie to them either. The fact I wasn’t going to race again during the year would soon be common knowledge, so they needed to know something. We all agreed that Beau and I would come around for dinner the following evening, and we’d share a watered-down version of the truth. If my prognosis worsened, we could tell them more then.

  When it came time to leave, Beau drove the car in a different direction to home. He pushed a button on his phone and his GPS read out an instruction.

  “Where are we going?” I asked.

  “Wouldn’t ya like to know?”

  “I would. That’s why I asked.”

  “Can ya trust me for a little bit?”

  I placed my hand over his. “I trust you until the end.”

  He gave me an impassive glare for a few moments, as though he couldn’t believe I’d said those words, and then shook it off. “Then, leave it with me for a moment. It’ll be worth it.”

  A few suspicions grew in me over the reasons for the drive, but I doubted even Beau could arrange things so fast.

  The nearer we got to Browns Plains, the stronger my suspicion grew. Instead of calling him on it, I decided to wait and see. Maybe he just wanted to visit Emmanuel. Or perhaps he’d agreed to pick up some of the kids from Nana and Pop’s.

  The GPS directed us to a park in the middle of town. It was one I knew well from Dad’s stories, even if my own memories of it were a little vague.

  It was the place that stood witness to so many changes in Mum and Dad’s relationship. Where they’d had their first kiss, and where they’d broken up for the last time before I was born. It was also where Dad had proposed to Mum. The history of the park and my family had me smiling. Even if Beau had searched for parks in Browns Plains, there was no way he could have lucked upon this exact one in his GPS. Someone had given him the exact location.

  “Can we go for a walk?” he asked as he parked the car.

  What’s going on? Rather than ask the question, I nodded.

  A thousand butterflies fluttered throughout my stomach as I climbed from the car.

  The moment we were free of the car, he grabbed my hand, and we walked into the park together. Flashes of the past danced behind my eyes, memories that were faded and fractured, but that I treasured nonetheless. Playing soccer with Dad in the park was one of them. I could never be certain whether it was real or imagined, but it was a happy memory either way.

  We walked to a little picnic table that sat to one side of the centre of the park. He indicated towards the seat, and I took his cue. When I was settled, he moved beside me.

&nb
sp; “Why are we here?” I asked, before deciding on a different question. “Do you know the importance of this place?”

  For a moment, he stared at me as if the rest of the world had disappeared and I was the only thing that remained. My breath sped at the sight.

  When he spoke, he didn’t answer either of my questions. “I gotta admit when I chose to come to Australia, I didn’t know what I was gonna find. I knew there was the risk ya wouldn’t ever talk to me. I considered the fact I mighta had to go home without ever seein’ ya.”

  I dropped my gaze because if I’d had my way initially, that might’ve been the way his time here had gone.

  He put his finger under my chin and guided my gaze back to his. “I wanna see your stunnin’ eyes when I say this, darlin’.”

  I swallowed and then took a breath as our gazes locked.

  “I knew what I wanted though. It’s what I’ve wanted since the first night ya stayed in Georgia with me. By then, I was already drownin’ in ya.” The chocolate and amber depths of his eyes burned. “So I prepared for every possibility I could think of. I tried to protect my heart in case ya sent me packin’, but I also bought this in case things went the direction I most wanted.”

  My entire body locked in place as he shifted until he was kneeling in front of me. Every possibility I hadn’t wanted to imagine in case it was a letdown rushed through me, and I brought my hands to my mouth to stop from squealing.

  He pulled a small box out of his pocket and held it out to me. I couldn’t focus on that though, not when I had him to look at. The swirls of galaxies I’d seen during our first meeting were present as his emotions danced in his gaze.

  “Ever since ya turned my life upside down, all I’ve wanted was you. I ain’t ever lied when I said I’d take what ya were willin’ to give, but I can’t lie and say I haven’t wanted to do this. I know ya ain’t one for grand gestures, so that’s why I wanted to bring ya here instead.”

  “Why here?” It was the only thing I could think to ask despite the numerous thoughts circling my mind like sharks.

  “’Cause this is where your daddy proposed to your mama, and I couldn’t think of anywhere more perfect ’cause I know the way ya feel about your parents’ relationship. I know ya think they’re the perfect example of love, and havin’ witnessed it, I can understand why. So I wanted to come here to show ya that I promise ya a love like that. I wanna be at your side through the good and the bad. I wanna be the one ya come home to and the one who comes home to you. I wanna be the one who gets to say I’m your man.” He opened the lid on the box. “I saw this in a shop near home, and I had to get it because it made me think of ya. It’s been hidin’ in with my socks ever since I came here from the States, just in case I ever got the chance to give it to ya.”

  The ring was understated but beautiful. It was two round cut diamonds set into a curved ring so that they formed an infinity pattern.

  “It’s beautiful,” I murmured.

  “Since ya basically asked me already, I dunno if ya want the question.” He chuckled. “So I’ll ask ya a different one. What do ya think ’bout gettin’ married in Georgia?”

  “You’re really not going to ask me?” For some odd reason, that knowledge settled heavily in my stomach.

  “I jus’ thought—” He cut himself off with a small shake of his head. “Never mind. Phoebe Castor Dawson Reede, will ya do me the greatest honour in the world and be my wife?”

  I curled my finger in front of my face to signal him to cover the distance between us. He sat back on the seat beside me but moved as close as he dared. I reached for him, drawing him closer still until our lips were touching, then I gave him my answer with my kiss.

  Then I pulled away. “Yes. Of course. Always.”

  “And what about gettin’ married in Georgia? It’ll be nice to say goodbye to the place with a bang.”

  It was an easy thing to answer when I considered how much he had given up for me and how little he asked for in return. “I think some people will hate me for this, but yes. Yes, I’ll marry you in Georgia. I don’t need a big wedding, I just need you, and I need to be able to say we’ve lived and loved to the full in the time we had together.”

  He plucked the ring from the box and tried it on my finger. It was a little small, so he slipped it onto my pinkie instead. “I guess that’s the risk of buyin’ without knowin’ the exact size ya need.”

  “It wouldn’t be us if it was perfect.” I winked at him. “How did you find out about this place?”

  “I got your daddy to tell me when I asked for his permission.”

  I raised a brow. “You asked Dad for permission to marry me?”

  “Course.”

  “How’d that go over?” The story of Dad’s response to Pop’s indignation over Dad’s refusal to ask for permission or a blessing before Mum and Dad’s wedding was infamous in our family. Of course, the situation was slightly different with Pop not being happy about Dad’s return. Still, I could imagine Dad’s reaction to such a request.

  “He gave it willin’ly. Fact, he told me he never thought he’d see ya happy ag’in and that’s all he’s ever wanted for ya.”

  “So he didn’t just laugh at you?”

  “Why would he laugh?”

  I twisted so that my legs were lying over Beau’s lap and then rested my head on his shoulder as I told him the story of the Christmas Dad proposed to Mum. Beau wrapped his arm around my shoulder as he settled in to listen. We spent the next few hours in the same position. I told him stories of my childhood, he told me about some of his misdeeds as a teenager, and then I started a story but stopped when I realised it involved Angel.

  Staring down at the ring on my pinkie, I imagined the stones as Angel and me. I’d always thought we’d have the entirety of my life together just like those two stones entwined in gold. I traced my finger over the pattern as I finished my story.

  “Ya miss her, don’t ya?”

  “So much. I keep waiting for it to get better, but it doesn’t. I just don’t know how she can walk away from the good times we had just because of a few bad ones.” It was the selfish parts of me talking. No one deserved to be an emotional punching bag for anyone else, and I had treated her as one—she’d told me so herself and I hadn’t done enough to fix those mistakes. “I always thought if I ever got engaged she’d be the first person I would tell and now I can’t even talk to her. I can’t even send her a message on Facebook.”

  He handed me his phone. “Call her if ya want, I’ve got her number in there.”

  I pushed the phone back at him. “I can’t. She asked me not to, and I’ve got to respect her wishes. I’m happy if you want to tell her, but she’s not mine anymore.” I curled into his chest so I could disguise my fight to hold off my tears. “We should probably head home though. Before this perfect day goes wrong.”

  While we headed back to the car, I tried not to let the thoughts of Angel bring down my mood, but it was hard. Beau didn’t try to distract me or force me to cheer up. Instead, he let me have the time I needed to work my own way through the sorrow.

  DURING THE WEEK after we’d told Mum and Dad about my kidneys, things were a little insane.

  First, we had the dinner with my brothers and sisters. The night started perfectly, with a celebration of my engagement to Beau, but when I went to tell everyone that my kidney issues had gotten worse—that I was too sick to keep racing—Brock gave me a foul look. It was as if it was something I’d chosen.

  He shoved his chair back from the table. “So what, you’ve already left us, but now you’re going to get married and die?”

  Beth and Parker burst into tears at his words, as if I was dying then and there.

  “No. It’s not that. I just need—”

  Brock held up his hand to silence me and stormed off.

  Beau wrapped his fingers around mine, giving my hand a supportive squeeze.

  “Brock, come back here, we need to talk about this,” Mum said, before chasing after him
.

  Nikki looked around the table, and her lip wobbled when she saw Beth and Parker crying. When a wail built in her throat, Dad drew her onto his lap, holding her tightly to calm her down.

  I looked to Beau, silently begging for some kind of rescue, but not knowing what needed to happen to calm the situation. Before he could respond, Georgia spat her dummy onto the highchair table and added her tears to the rest.

  As the situation around the table grew to become utter chaos, Beau looked to me for rescue as much as I was looking to him. It was the reminder that he’d never had to face this sort of situation before. He’d never experienced babies and siblings, or the mess of family life with young kids. In the end, Mum dragged Brock back, busted out a Viennetta ice cream log for everyone, and settled the crying down. Then we were able to explain that it wasn’t a death sentence for me, but that I would have to keep an even closer eye on my diet, exercise, and water intake. After that, things got a little more settled, and everyone cheered up a little.

  After dinner, I sat on the couch reassuring Beth and Parker while Dad presented the new contracts to Beau.

  Then we spent the next few days running through the rigmarole of the press releases to advise I would be stepping back for health reasons. I was certain people would assume it was because of my mental health, but I didn’t give a crap what people thought. I just needed to focus on getting my health back under control. On top of that, Beau insisted on getting the ring resized as fast as possible, apparently now that I’d said yes, he wanted to shout about our new relationship status.

  The one good thing that came from the changes was that Beau was at our house a little more often after changing his role. I also think Mum and Dad had decided to give him as much time as possible off to be around me in case there were any issues. The change in his schedule left him available to take me to the doctors, Dr Bradshaw, Dr Reins, and back to the GP as often as I needed, as well as to any tests I needed to have done. I was thankful, especially when I didn’t trust myself to drive with the dizzy spells that had been hitting me with increasing regularity.