“Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts about the wedding?”
I was, but probably not for the same reasons she thought, and not for any reason I could tell Beau about.
“You know Beau loves you, right?”
Pulling free of her hold, I rested my feet on the coffee table and leant forward so I could look at my toes—it was easier than meeting Angel’s eyes. “Of course. I wanted so badly to have a baby, and doing it made things worse. What if it’s the same with getting married? What if I’m being selfish wanting it all?”
“Selfish?”
“I’m at stage four, Angel.” Tears filled my voice. “I might be hovering at this point for years, or I could turn around in a few months and need another transplant.”
“So you deal with that when it happens like you always do.”
“What if I can’t get one?” My voice was almost silent. I hadn’t realised how badly I needed to talk to her, to someone who understood me down to my very core, until that moment. Even though Veronica had stepped in as a stand-in, it wasn’t the same. This was what I wanted from Angel more than anything. My need to kiss her and be close to her was born out of a craving for the closeness we’d shared before. I buried my head in my hands. “What if I’m dooming him to be a widower in a few months? Or worse, to have to give everything up to look after his sick wife. I don’t want to be a burden on him like Abby was.”
“Abby was never a burden on him, and you know it.”
I closed my eyes. “You know what I mean. Not being able to go anywhere because he’s got to hang around his sick wife. How will he do what he needs to for the team if he’s got to take care of me?”
“Pheebs, have you read the traditional vows people recite at weddings?”
I kept my eyes focused over her shoulder, not willing to look at her even if I had to listen to her point.
“In sickness and in health. I know you’ve explained the possibilities to him and he’s done some research himself. He knows what he’s getting himself into. He knows the risks.”
“I know. And I know he’ll be there every damn day, standing beside me and supporting me however I need it. Hell, he’d probably even learn how to do dialysis for me if I asked him to.”
She cupped my cheek and drew my attention back to her. “Then what’s the problem.”
“Should I let him?” The more I thought about it, the more I wondered whether kissing her was more a combination of self-sabotage and a need to keep her close than any actual desire. I still couldn’t say exactly where our relationship would end up, but I would only make it worse if I tried to muddy it with seduction. Even if kissing her was a release and something I did enjoy.
“What are you saying?” she asked.
“It’s a huge responsibility to dump on anyone’s lap. Maybe I should just walk away, and save him that heartbreak.”
She scoffed. “I think you need to forget that as an option.”
“Why?”
“After everything that happened to you, and when you assumed he would hate you for it, what did you do?”
I bit my lip.
“Did it work then?”
I sighed. “I just don’t want him wasting his life because of me. I know it will hurt him to walk away, but at least he can live without a sword dangling over his head. This is the reason I was never going to fall in love. I didn’t think there was someone out there for me, and I didn’t want to hurt them if there was.”
“Pheebs, you could have been taken out in a track accident at your last meet. You could walk through the forest tomorrow and have a branch fall on your head. Or you could live a long, happy life regardless of your issues. If you needed a donor, you’d have a list of people a mile long at the door ready to give up a kidney for you. You can’t worry about what might come. What was it you always told me you wanted to do, above everything else?”
“Live for today and get the most out of life.”
“So live. Living for you is having Beau by your side.”
I wrapped my arms around her. “I guess you’re right.”
“No guessing. I am right, and you can thank me by letting me be your maid of honour like you asked in your letter.”
“I wouldn’t want anyone else.” I chuckled. “I even told Beau that the other day when we were arranging seating. No wonder he was insisting we keep a seat at our table. Your seat.”
She reached for another Tim Tam. “I’m just glad you sent that letter. I wanted to come, but I didn’t think you really wanted me here. I thought the invite was out of courtesy.”
“I wanted you here. I have to admit though, I didn’t send the letter.”
“So they’re not your words? It looked like your handwriting.”
“They are my words. I wrote the letter. I just didn’t send it.” I wrung my hands together. “I was too scared to send it.”
“Fuck, I did break you.” She nudged my shoulder. “The Phoebe I knew wouldn’t have been scared to send that.”
“You put me back together.”
“How did I get the letter then?”
“I don’t know. I can only imagine Beau sent it, knowing I wouldn’t. I’d be pissed off, except this is the best outcome I could imagine. I didn’t want to have to go through my wedding without you.”
“So he gets a pass.”
I laughed. “For what I’ve put him through, he gets a thousand.”
“Speaking of Beau, why don’t you go show him this matching set.”
“You think he’d appreciate it more?” I teased.
“I don’t know. I appreciate it a lot, I’ve always loved the way that bra makes your eyes pop. But I think you’d enjoy showing Beau more.”
I turned around to face her and ran my hand over her face. “Just so long as you know that I do love you, even if that doesn’t mean quite the same thing as it does for you.”
She kissed me again, brushing her lips over mine before adding her tongue. Before either of us could get carried away, she pulled away. “It means enough. I’m never leaving you again.”
“I suppose I should get back. Everyone starts arriving tomorrow, so I think the peace Beau and I have had here is going to be over until after the wedding.”
“Well, you’ve got me around if you need a bodyguard.” She winked. “Like now?”
“It’s okay, I’ll text Beau and let him know I’m ready for him to come get me.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. Thank you for looking out for me though.” Between her and Beau, they’d keep me safe.
And sane.
I TUGGED THE hem of my jacket down over my thighs. After the conversation with Angel, I felt better over my failed attempts at seducing her. Despite that, I needed some time alone. Even though I’d promised her that I would text Beau to let him know I was ready to go home, I didn’t. The walk would give me the time I needed to clear my head. Hopefully, Beau would be back from his visit to Joe when I got to the house.
As I covered the distance from Angel’s room to our , I wondered whether I should tease Beau a little. Draw out the fun and let him believe Angel and I had gone further than we actually had.
A rose rested on the path halfway back home. I wrapped my arms around myself and glanced from side to side to see if there was anyone around. The same feeling of being watched that had struck me earlier that day started again, sending a fresh shudder through me.
Ignoring the sensation and the rose, I took another step towards the house—towards Beau and the safety he offered. The sound of someone moving near me drew my attention. I spun around, and my eyes widened as I saw the person following me.
“What the fuck?” I rushed a backwards step at the sight of the pig-faced man.
I tried to spin again to run away but in my hurry to get away, the heel on my stiletto slipped and my ankle twisted. I fell forward as I tried to escape the former race manager at Richards Racing—the one Beau had gotten fired after witnessing Jase attack me.
“Beau!” I cried out, but little sound came out before Jase’s hand came around my mouth from behind. With a tight hold on my head, he dragged me to my feet and pulled my body against his.
My body shook. Why was he there? What did he want?
Everything that Bee had done, everything I’d suffered at his and Xavier’s hands flooded through me, and I whimpered. With one hand pressed against my mouth and the other around my waist, Jase picked me up with ease. I wanted to fight, but my body shook too much, and fear locked my joints in place.
Another whimper escaped me as Jase carried me the short distance to the forest and shoved me against a tree before pinning me in place. My face scraped along the bark as he grabbed my hair and pulled my head backwards.
“Phoebe, Phoebe, Phoebe.” His breath was warm and wet against the back of my neck. “How nice to see you again.”
“Leave me alone.” I’d wanted to spit the words, but they came as a whimper rather than a growl.
He twisted me around and grabbed my shoulders before shoving me so hard against the tree trunk that the wind rushed from me. His hand closed around my throat before I could catch my breath.
“You thought you got away with it all scot free, didn’t you, sweetheart?”
The last word blew his putrid breath across my lips. I shuddered, and although I screamed internally, I was paralysed. Every muscle locked into place to prevent me from moving.
“That nothing would come back to bite you in your perfect little ass.” His hand slid up my inner thigh. “I had everything until you came along and screwed it up for me.”
I didn’t do anything! The words burned my tongue and branded across my brain, but I couldn’t unlock my jaw to release them. Even if I could, I’d have no breath to make the sound.
“Do you know the fun Bee and I used to have? Oh, the things we used to do to little bitches like you.” His fingers pushed aside the side of my jacket and tears filled my eyes as his words echoed the actions of Bee. “I mean, look at you, wearing nothing but a bra and panties under that thing. You’re screaming at everyone to take whatever they want.”
A tear rolled down my cheek, but I couldn’t find any strength to fight. The voices in my head screamed louder than ever. Xavier’s and Bee’s. Jase’s. Even Dale’s, the owner of the team I’d come to the USA to race for when he’d dismissed my concerns over Jase.
On top of all of the voices from the past, my own screamed the things I needed to hear but that I couldn’t action. Run. Just kick him and run. Beau’s house is right there. You can make it before Jase catches up with you.
I was trapped by my body’s refusal to move as much as Jase’s bulk.
“He promised me a turn, you know. As soon as you were broken in. Usually, he’d let me do some of the breaking, but you . . . you were a special case. Week after week he assured me he was close. He would ring me and tell me the things he did, the noises you made. I think he got off on it.” He moved his lips so close to my mouth. “I know I did. But, he wanted you to beg him for it, and you did in the end, didn’t you? I saw the photos. You begged like the little slut you are.” With his face so close to mine, my every breath was filled with the stench of his. His gaze slid down, and I felt violated by him.
“P-please . . .” The one word was all I could squeeze out, but it opened the gates on my tears.
His fingers tightened around my throat, tightening until I could barely breathe. Each inhale was a painful wheeze. “See, you’re still begging for it. But, that’s not what I want. Not anymore. You’re too passive for my tastes. Too weak.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t weak; not anymore. With Beau’s help, I’d found my strength again. Then why are you pinned helplessly against this tree?
“What I want from you now is something far simpler. A job, if you will, considering you forced me out of my last one.” He ran his nose along my cheek, and I had to resist the urge to vomit. “I saw your reaction to my little . . . gifts. Did you think I didn’t know they were being sent in my name before? It’s called plausible deniability, sweetheart, and Bee and I were pretty damn good at it until you fucked everything up.”
I swallowed at the memory of seeing that first rose on the doorstep days earlier. I still couldn’t talk though; his hold around my throat was too tight.
“Do you want to know what I want?” When I didn’t respond, he answered anyway. “Money. You have it. Your Boy Scout boyfriend . . . no, wait, soon-to-be-husband”—the word dripped with derision—“has it. I know where you’re staying. I know where you live. I know where you work. I can make your life a living hell even from halfway around the world. Do you understand?”
His fingers released my neck a little, just enough that I could draw a proper breath and speak. I was about to use the air to scream, but he seemed to anticipate that action.
“Uh-uh,” he said as he pressed his other hand over my mouth. “A simple nod will do.”
I nodded that I understood.
His small mouth split, the thin lips curling into what was no doubt a smile but looked more like a sneer.
“Good girl. I’ll be in touch soon to let you know how to get the first payment to me.” His body pressed against mine, the bulk of him pushing my back hard against the rough surface. “If you tell anyone about this, if I have even the slightest suspicion that you’ve told someone, I will destroy your wedding and then come back and finish what Bee started.”
The reminder of Bee was enough to force a quiver through my body.
His hand went to his side seconds before a gun pressed against my ribs. “Maybe I’ll even take that blonde friend of yours as payment for pissing me off.”
I twisted my head to the side in a fast motion to knock his hand away from my mouth.
“Don’t you touch her!” The words were barely a whisper even though I wanted to scream them at him.
“Oh, so you do have some fire left.” He pressed himself against me. “Maybe there’s just enough that we can have some fun. Hmm, maybe later. I’ll be in contact tomorrow for the first instalment of my new paycheque. Remember, anyone finds out, and that bitch is mine, sweetheart.”
He kept the gun levelled at my head as he backed away.
I kept myself pinned to the tree until he’d disappeared into the darkness. Then I fell forward onto my knees and took a deep breath as everything tore through me.
When I thought I could trust my legs, I pushed myself up off the ground and pulled off my stilettos so I could run if I needed to. With my breath short and my heart racing, I raced back to the house. Tears burned my cheeks, and the ground tore at my feet, but I needed to be inside. I needed to be safe.
Beau was waiting for me when I pushed the door open. As soon as I was inside, I closed and locked the door behind me before leaning against it to catch my breath.
“Darlin’, how—” He glanced at me and leapt to his feet. “What happened?”
I was still trying to catch my breath, so I just pushed myself into his arms as sobs stole my voice and racked my chest.
“What is it?”
The notion of not telling Beau never crossed my mind. Whatever threats Jase had issued, I had to trust that between Beau, Angel, the boys at the resort, and me, we’d be able to handle him. There was no way I was giving him any money or any chance to hurt the ones I loved.
“It’s Jase.” I turned to the door, watching it even though I was certain he wasn’t going to come through. “He’s here.”
“He’s the one who left everythin’ on the doorstep,” Beau guessed.
“Yes. And he said he’d—oh, God. He said he’d hurt Angel if I told anyone. He’s got a gun, and he’s here.”
Beau’s phone was at his ear in an instant, and he spoke to someone on the other end of the line and instructed them to go to Angel’s room, before hanging up and calling the police. Once he’d finished on the phone, he led me down to the bedroom. With my feet now burning from the small cuts all over the bottom, I could only manage a fast limp to match his p
ace. He passed me a few items of clothing before instructing me to sit on the bed.
“Let me see your feet.”
“I’ve got to get to Angel!” The fear I’d been fighting rose again. “Jase had a gun; he said he was going to hurt her.”
“Mitch is headin’ to her room now. He’ll keep her safe until we get there. First, I need to make sure you don’t have any injuries that’re gonna cause issues.”
I lifted my feet, and Beau washed the soles with a face cloth before giving them an inspection. Satisfied, he passed me my socks. “Are ya feelin’ better?”
“No. I won’t until that arsehole is out of the picture.”
Beau sat on the bed beside me. “What does he want?”
“Money. But maybe that’s not all. Apparently, he was friends with Bee and—” My breath shortened as the adrenaline burned off and I was left with the horrors of Jase’s words. I reached for Beau as the reality struck me. “H-he said he was w-waiting for his turn. Af-after Bee b-broke me.” I disintegrated into tears.
“I won’t let him hurt ya.”
“W-what about Angel? He said he’d hurt her if I told anyone.”
“I ain’t gonna let him hurt her either.”
“We need to go to her room. Now.” With my hands still shaking, I pulled on my socks and shoes. “I can’t let him hurt her. I can’t let her go through what I did. I-I just can’t.”
“He won’t get near her.”
“How can you promise that?”
“Mitch will be guardin’ her room already. She’s safe with him watchin’ her.”
“How can you be sure? Jase is armed.”
“Mitch has been huntin’ in the woods ’round here since he was a child. If Jase even attempts to go near her room, he’ll regret it.”
“Mitch has got a gun?”
“He’ll protect her.”
“I still need to go talk to her, and explain why there’s an armed man on her doorstep.”
“And we’re gonna. We just need to make sure we’re not gonna get ambushed on the way. We need to make the place safe before your family arrive in the mornin’.”
“Fuck, I didn’t think of that. What if he tries to hurt one of my sisters?” I curled into a ball. “Why is he doing this? Why can’t he just leave me alone?”
Phantom (Phoebe Reede: The Untold Story #5) Page 23