Heart So Reckless

by K. C. Mills

  “Not long. You’ll survive.”

  Apparently my answer wasn’t what he was looking for because Red groaned before lowering his face int0 the curve of my neck.

  “Barely.”

  “Stop it. Have you talked to Nan?”

  “Yeah. She’s cool. She just put Reid down and she’s sleeping in her room until we get there. She said she’s too old to be running from room to room.”

  “Oh God.” I grinned at the thought. “You sure she doesn’t mind?”

  “Hell nah. She never wants to leave the house for shit but when I asked her if she would stay at the house to keep Reid, and she was all in before I even finished my sentence.”

  “She did seem really excited to be there. What were you guys talking about over there?” Red was as hood as they came. It was his anthem all day, every day, so to see him refined that tonight, while still remaining true to himself had me falling in love with him even more.

  “Women and money.” He smirked, and I sucked my teeth.

  “What about women?”

  Reds’ smile grew a little wider. “Why you go right to the women thing and skip over the money part?”

  “Because you can’t be disrespectful about money, but with women you can?”

  “Mannn, I was talking to your father and his homies. Why the fuck would I be disrespectful?”

  “Does there need to be a reason why?”

  “Hell yeah. I’m not trying to have no smoke with your pops but we ain’t say much. He just called me out because my focus was more on you than the conversation.”

  “That sounds familiar. My mother said the same thing about me.”

  “Understandable. I do look good as fuck.”

  “Here we go with that ego.” I pushed him off me slightly but he moved right back.

  “I ain’t ready to be exposed yet. I know you feel that.” His fingers grazed my arm causing me to inch closer wanting more of him.

  I certainly do.

  “But real shit. He introduced me to them and they invited me to discuss a few business opportunities. You know your pops all for me getting legal money.”

  I knew Red still had a few things to work out before he was fully done with everything but he was working on it so I didn’t complain. I wouldn’t complain it was a part of him and a part of him that I fell in love with. I wanted Red safe but I didn’t want him to change. I loved everything about who he was.

  When we both felt his pocket vibrate, Red gave us enough space to retrieve his phone and then he was right back on me.

  “Yeah? Ain’t shit. I’m out right now.” His eyes met mine and held me captive while he spoke. I wasn’t pressed about it being another woman because he wasn’t that guy. Red had already proved to me that I was his only focus and he knew that he was mine. “I can handle it tomorrow. Just hit me in the morning.” A smile surfaced taking over his face. Whatever they said amused him, and I immediately knew who the caller was because of his response. “Fuck outta here with yo cry baby ass. Just come through tomorrow and we can talk about it.”

  “Uhh, I need her for a minute.” Pree came out of nowhere pulling me by the arm but Red held me in place for a minute longer.

  “Hang on Lobo?”

  “Where you going?”

  “With me. You’ve had her all night. Can I have five minutes. Lobo is the cute one, right?” Her eyes darted to me before she looked at Red, who narrowed his eyes at both of us. “Tell him I said hi.”

  “I’m not telling him shit. He’s a hoe, and he isn’t for you,” Red warned before kissing my cheek and then going back to his call, walking away from us to give me and my sister some space. “Nigga, hell no, and none of your business.”

  “Is he really a hoe?”

  “Yes.”

  “A cute one?”

  “No, so get it out your head.”

  “Fine.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Nothing. I just wanted five minutes. You’ve been all tucked away with your man tonight leaving me stuck with mom to parade around and offer me to the highest bidder.” She pouted, causing me to laugh.

  “Shut up, she is not.”

  “Oh, but she is. She literally tried to set a play date with me and Mayor Johnsons son.”

  “Oh shit not a play date.”

  “Girl yeah, it might as well be. She invited him over for lunch, with me.”

  “And?”

  “And I agreed that man is fine. I mean he isn’t that kind of fine…” she looked over at Red and then back to me. “but he’s fine in a trust fund baby kind of way.”

  “Oh my God, did you really, you know, what never mind. I’m not playing with you.”

  “You don’t have to play with me, Peys. Just know I mean business, but I see a viable candidate over there, so I love you, and I’ll see you this weekend if you’re gone before I’m done.”

  “Did you really just pull me away from my man to bail on me?”

  “Yep, I’m trying to be boo’d up like you sis and I only pulled you away from him because I was Lowkey hatin’.” She blew me a kiss and then left me there. I rolled my eye and walked over to Red who lifted his arm welcoming me into my favorite spot while he finished up his call, pressing a kiss to my forehead in the process.

  “Aye my nigga we’re ’bout to pull up outta here. I’ll hit you when I’m moving tomorrow. Bet.”

  When he eased his phone back into his pocket our eyes connected again. “We’re leaving?”

  “Yeah, we need to go check on Reid, and I need to go check on this.” His hand eased down my back grinding him a hand full of my ass. “But leave that part off when we say goodbye to your parents.”

  Oh they’re going to know whether we say it or not. But either way I’d didn’t care. My only goal was getting out of here so that Red could get into me. Damn life was good.

  Red.

  “Is she always gonna come first?”

  “Whatcha mean?”

  I dropped my bag on the floor next to the sofa and eased in next to Peyson. Her eyes were in slits but the teasing smile that was barely there didn’t have me reacting. I knew she was just fucking with me and I was gonna curse Pree out for snitching. She probably hit her sister up the second I left her place.

  “You know exactly what I mean. Your plane landed three and a half hours ago, it takes an hour at the most for you to get here from the airport.”

  “Maaaan. I’ve been gone for four days. You knew I was gonna pull up on my baby girl. You should have had her here with you if you wanted to be the first stop I made.” Kicked off my shoes and leaned my head back. My eyes closed as I inhaled the familiar coconut and lime scent. Peyson’s scent. Home.

  “I’m always gonna be second. That’s cool. Just remember that when he knocks you out of your spot.”

  I felt her climb into my lap and her arms lazily looped around my neck. I could feel the heat between her legs and I’d didn’t have shit to do with the fact that it was the middle of July. No panties. The AC was kicking like it always was, so much so that she had chill bumps down her arms. I could physically see them so her warmth was from her reaction to me. My hands moved up her thighs straight to her waist ending on her stomach. There wasn’t much to it, but enough for me to know my son was in there. My eyes dropped low briefly for a visual before they met with hers and I couldn’t help but laugh at the cheesy ass grin on her face.

  “You trying to say he’s knocking me out of my spot?”

  “She knocked me out of mine.” Peyson shrugged slightly before she lifted enough to push her hands into my sweats. Once she found what she was looking for she went to work.

  “Shit, right to it huh. Yo horny ass.”

  “It’s been four days.”

  I swelled in her hands while she rotated from the base to the tip of my head. Four long fucking days.

  I watched her. Taking in every detail. Her hair had grown a little longer over the past few months, her face showed signs of the few extra pounds that she gained and
her breasts were fuller. One of my favorite pregnancy gifts. Well that and her stomach. I was obsessed with it. Every time I was close, my hands were on it. I was likely driving Peyson crazy but I couldn’t help it. My son was in there. My fucking son. I missed all this with Reid and from time to time that got to me but we were past that and I was witnessing it with him.

  The motion of Peyson lifting again, but this time easing down on me brought me back to what was currently going on. That first entry was always the best. The way her face twisted into distress from me invading her space and then seconds later it relaxed revealing just how much she enjoyed me being so deep was life. It was fucking perfect.

  “I missed you.” When she opened her eyes to find me staring at her I smirked and thrust upward, making sure she could feel me. Her body tensed but it only lasted for a second or two before she relaxed again.

  “You missed me or you missed sitting on this.”

  “Both.”

  “Word, so act like it then.”

  Peyson rocked against me while I hit her from below. We fell into a natural rhythm that had her head back and lips slightly parted. When my hands began to roam her breath became more rapid. I gripped one breast and strummed her clit at the same time causing Peyson release a few sounds that had my dick throbbing inside of her.

  “You know how much I love you?”

  “Mmmhmm?”

  Chuckling at her intoxicated state, my hand left her breast and I gripped the back of her neck pulling her too. Our rhythm didn’t falter as I bit down on her lip and then fully kissed her.

  “You sure you know?”

  This time her eyes slowly peeled open and met with mine. “You love me more than I can feel in a million lifetimes.” She said lowly before she leaned into my chest and hide her face in my neck.

  “Hell fucking yeah and you better never forget that shit.”

  My hands made it to her hips again while she circled them at a faster pace. Her breathing picked up. She was gone already. I could feel her sinking deeper on me so I picked up my pace. My thrusts were delivered in a stabbing motion and it didn’t take long for my name to leave her lips along with a few obscenities. Stroke after stroke I pushed Peyson to her peek and when she reached it, I was right behind her.

  “Shit.” Left her mouth while I growled through a “fuck.” My arms tighten around her holding her hostage against my chest until I emptied everything I had inside of her. Shortly after her lips grazed my neck and her teeth bit down in the same spot, causing me to feel myself pulse inside of her a few more times.

  “You good?”

  “Mmmhmm.” Her voice was lazy and she didn’t bother lifting her head which brought a smile to my face. I moved my hands under her shirt and massaged her lower back enjoying the closeness. I loved all of this. The feel of her body, the way she smelled, the way I felt tucked away inside of her, the way her breathing synced with mine and her heartbeat beat against my chest. I loved all this shit. I loved her.

  “You want to get up.”

  “No, just let me sit here.” She whined pushing a muffled laugh from me. Peyson swore my son was taking all of her energy. Let her tell it, carrying baby girl was a breeze. She said she didn’t have morning sickness or any downtime but this pregnancy was giving her hell. Four months in and the morning sickness was still there but it was more like all day sickness. She was tired all the time and could barely eat anything. She and I both were stressed worrying about the baby but Dr. Altman said that all pregnancies were different and he was growing fine. The only thing she could do was eat when she could and rest as much as possible. Things were a little better now but she was still catching hell.

  “You feel okay?”

  “Mmmhmm, I just don’t want to move. I missed you.” I could hear the smile even though I couldn’t see her face.

  “Lazy ass.”

  “I’m not you left me for four days.” She pouted lifted her head this time. “How did it go?”

  “It was straight. But I’m not about to talk to you about that, which you already know.” She showed her annoyance but then dropped it. My trip was with Lobo. He needed in with my supplier, who was particular about who they partnered with. They only knew me so we had to fly to New York for a face to face so that they could decide if they would allow him to the opportunity to do business. Three nights of meetings and clubs that I was over after the first night, but the deal was set and Lobo was now able to get product without me. One of the last steps to me fully removing myself from any real connections. I would get money for another year or two but I didn’t have to get my hands dirty, unless they needed me. Lobo would make a point of not needing me just because he knew I wanted to be done. Didn’t matter though, I was always gonna have his back. That was my word. But my priority was my family. He understood because he was an extension of that.

  “I need a shower and some food so either you get up or I’m carrying you. What’s it gonna be?”

  “Carry me?” She nuzzled her face further into my neck.

  “You’re grown ass really about to make me carry you?”

  “Mmmhmm.”

  I shook my head smiling at the same time. She could get that. Hell she could get anything she wanted and she knew it. So I lifted her around my waist and did just what she asked. If it put a smile on her face or made her life easier, it was done. I put my life on it.

  After our shower Peyson threw on another T-shirt climbed in bed and crashed before I was even dressed. I left her alone and made a couple calls to set up some business meetings with a few of the people that her father introduced me to. They were all on point and didn’t give a fuck about my past. Money made shit happen and they were willing to help me make smart choices with mine.

  Now I was in the middle of a conversation with Lobo trying to convince me that he was ready to settle down while he had one female just leave his bed while another was on her way to it. His hoe ass was never gonna change at least not in this lifetime but if he liked it I loved it, but it was time for me to shut him down. I had another priority right now. I needed to make some shit official.

  “Aye let me hit you back. Baby girl is up.”

  “Yo, you just gonna drop me like that? I got feelings too nigga?”

  “Good, now go explore them shits so that you can share ‘em with someone who gives a damn about your fucking feelings.”

  Lobe burst out laughing before I heard fuck you and then he hung up. I chuckled at his overdramatic ass but that was my nigga for life.

  “That dick really put you to sleep like that?” I teased after tossing my phone on the bed while Peyson crawled over to me. She eased into my lap and rest her head against my chest.

  “No. I didn’t sleep well while you were gone.”

  “Oh so lack of dick put you to sleep? One dose and you’re back on track.”

  “Shut up and just let me be great.”

  “Aight, I’mma let you make it.”

  “Thank you.” She lifted her eyes to mine and smiled softly before leaning forward and pressing her forehead to mine.

  “What you wanna eat?”

  Her face balled up quick and I knew where this was going. Perfect set up!

  “You gotta eat Peys.”

  “I know. Nothing tastes good and when it does I can’t keep it down.”

  “What about some carats?”

  “Carrots?” Her entire face got tight and I damn near laughed.

  “Yeah man, carats.” I eased my hand into my pocket and when she realized what was in it she shut her eyes tight and pushed her face into my chest.

  “The fuck you hiding for?”

  “I’m not.” Her voice. She was crying.

  “Peyson, lift your head baby. Let me see you.”

  “No.”

  “Why not.”

  “Because.” She sniffled and shook her head.

  “I know its not because you’re crying. Yo emotional ass has been dropping tears over the past few months like strippers dropping ass on stage.
That baby has you emotional as fuck.”

  That granted me her eyes and a hand pushed into the side of my head. “That’s not funny.”

  “Then why are you smiling so damn hard?”

  She whipped her cheeks and looked down at my hand. “Real shit though, I know we did this thing backward as fuck. We fell in love in one night, made a baby…”

  “Two babies.” She looked down and I grinned.

  “Two babies, but my point is, you got me on some forever type shit. My heart is reckless where you’re concerned. I don’t think about the dangers associated with giving it to you. I can’t because I have no control over how much I love or how hard I love, but I know I don’t have shit to worry about because you’re gonna always protect it. I can love freely, and not be worried because I know you got me.”

  She stared at me blankly, blinking back tears. It was the sexiest thing ever. She was simply beautiful even with her hair all over her head bloodshot eyes and tear-stained cheeks. She was everything. She was mine, she was life.

  “We just figured things out. You want to marry me?”

  “Hell yeah. I would have married your ass a year ago, on that night if I thought you would have said yes, and I didn’t know shit about love, or marriage. I just knew you and I wanted you however I could have you.”

  “But you…”

  “Fuck what I said back then, fuck what you didn’t hear. We both knew what was up but we walked away from it. I’m not giving your ass a chance to do that again.” I meant that with everything in me and she felt it too. Her cheeks flushed with color as she took the burgundy box from my hand.

  “Cartier?”

  “I know you love that shit. I figured I would use it as insurance.”

  “Did you really think I would say no?”

  “Hell nah, you got dick right before I asked. I knew what I was doing. I’m a real G shorty. We make strategic moves.”

  She burst out laughing covering her mouth with one hand. “I hate you. You’re such an asshole.”

  “I’ll be that because I know I have you to clean shit up for me. You make me better, you make me work for it. There’s no argument to be had, you’re mine.”