by M Helbig
Shades’s eyes gleamed red as he threw a feral grin toward Cedra.
“I already tried that ten seconds ago,” a beaverkin Shaman said.
“I did too,” a human Mage said. “Right after he became immune again.”
“Well, do it another time,” Cedra said.
So many bright spells landed on Shades that the whole cavern seemed to be composed of only light. When they finally stopped, he was still immune to seemingly everything.
“I’VE FOUND I’VE TAKEN A LIKING TO THOSE FLASHLIGHTS YOU’RE USING. PLEASE, CONTINUE. JUST BE SURE NOT TO BURN DOWN MY LOVELY CAVE WITH IT.” His eyes glowed blue as they focused on Cedra.
His eyes! “His eyes were black when we dropped his immunity the first time with light, and now they’re blue,” I said. “What’s the opposite of blue?”
“It’s orange on the color wheel,” Georgius said.
“True,” I said. “But in most games like this, blue represents water and ice. The opposite of those is—”
The room lit up in a very different color as every Elemental Mage, Shaman, and Druid finished my sentence for me. Fireballs, flaming swords, burning hands, and Explosive Potions ignited throughout the room, each one landing in slow, constant cascade against a man who already looked like he’d seen more than his fair share of the substance. He screamed as huge chunks of his HPs burned off. It didn’t last long enough as nearly all our magic users were already running on empty. However, as soon as the light show finished, Nibble’s punch did damage for the first time in a while. Cedra noticed it as well.
“Melee in,” Cedra said. “Casters hold back and switch to healing until I say otherwise. That goes for you non-healers too. The last time light spells didn’t seem to do any special damage, so I doubt it’ll this time. I’m guessing we only have to hit him with the spell opposite of his eyes’ color once to drop his immunity. Horus, keep any eye out for—well, his eyes.”
“Yes, O Great and Wise Raid Leader,” Alizia said. “Horus, Team Horus, and all affiliates of Horus, Inc. will be sure to keep a look out for all changes in eye color, eyeballs, Is, ayes, contact lenses, and vision-related paraphernalia on the raid boss known as Shades.”
“And banned from joining any guilds in any other games the Knights have a presence in or will in the future,” Cedra muttered.
While the raid continued to pummel on Shades, he also continued to give it back. Thankfully, while his speed seemed unchanged, his damage had dropped a great deal—somewhere around thirty percent. Despite that, I was sure we wouldn’t be able to keep our tank or his replacement up for the remaining 63% of Shades’s health, until I noticed Noradine handing out blue mana potions to all of the healers. Noradine was only handing them out to people out of Cedra’s line of sight, and performed an elaborate, well-timed dance to stay that way as Cedra’s head swayed back and forth. I figured Cedra would blow a gasket when she caught Noradine for breaking her “no involvement from officers” policy, until I looked closer. She slowed her neck several times when she got near Noradine and had even made a point to not to look in the direction of one of the healers Noradine had missed for over a minute.
I felt pretty good about our chances as my mana shot back up to 87% after I drank a Major Mana Potion. Naturally, all the melee damage stopped a few seconds later when Shades’s Invulnerability kicked back in. A few experimental spell casts produced no change in that status.
“Everyone hold back on attacks,” Cedra said. “Heal Nibble with anything you’ve got.”
I stared hard into the spot I figured Shades’s eyes would be, but there was nothing there. I was about to shout, “Hit him with light again,” when I remembered that his eyes had gotten extra dark before. This time they were the same color as the rest of him.
“THANK YOU. I NEEDED A LITTLE WARM-UP. BUT NOW THAT I’M ALL TOASTY, I FIND MYSELF GETTING A LOT SHARPER.”
“Horus, what do you see?” Cedra asked.
“Nothing,” I said. “He must not change right away.”
The fight continued for another minute without any change. I stared until the pain in my eyes forced me to close them. When I opened them, it was still the same. Had I only been lucky before? Or has there been something else I’m missing?
Just as I scanned the rest of Shades’s body for something else that might’ve changed, his eyes suddenly appeared again. They were brown.
“What’s the opposite of brown?” I asked in group chat.
“It’s not on the color wheel,” Alizia said. “Maybe gray?”
“Great,” I said. “But how does that translate into a damage type?”
“I do not know,” Olaf said.
Shades let out a haughty laugh. “I CAN SEE YOU JUST DON’T GET THE POINT, DO YOU?”
“‘The point!’” I said. “He’s hinting at his weakness in his taunts. We need to hit him with piercing.”
“Any melee with piercing hit him now!” Cedra said.
As pitiful as my damage was, I knew every bit would count, so I summoned my bow. Besides, hitting a raid boss who had to be more than twenty-five levels above me was amazing for skill gains. I’d already gained 3 points.
The raid poured on the damage. In the two minutes he was vulnerable, we took him down to 37%. If we were lucky, we might even finish him off in the next window or two.
“THAT WAS QUITE ON POINT, BUT NOW I’M FEELING MUCH MORE RELAXED. I THINK I ONLY NEEDED TO REGROW A LITTLE BACKBONE.”
Now that I knew what to look for, I immediately combed over the words in the last sentence. I was about to ask the raid if they could focus on any abilities they had with “back” or “bone” in them when Nibble’s HPs took a dive. Having been forced into the healer role for a bit too long, my instincts took over, and I immediately hit Nibble with a Regrowth . . . “regrow.” Figuring it couldn’t hurt to try, I targeted Shades instead on the next cast. Nibble’s next strike did 37 instead of the 0s he’d been getting before.
“Horus, you missed Nibble. Please, keep checking his eyes,” Cedra said. “This time I want all of you spell casters to rotate through every spell you have. I figure if we hit him with everything, we won’t need to figure out what the color of his eyes means. Everyone, unleash.”
“His Invulnerability is already down!” Murderwinkle said.
“Fantastic,” Cedra said. “We’ll do that again next time.”
Shades’s eyes turned a pinkish color as the raid continued to pummel him.
“Is she really that dumb?” Alizia asked in group chat. “How could she not realize Horus was the one who did that?”
“Yes. Georgius, did she just not see what Horus did?” Olaf asked.
“Ehh, Georgius, I kinda forgot you were here,” Alizia said. “Could you not tell her I said that? Really don’t want to start off with the new guild leader on the wrong foot.”
Georgius laughed. “I think you’re a few minutes late on having to worry about that one. And I’m sure Cedra knows exactly what happened. She just doesn’t want to look bad in front of the new people, and wants to keep them focused on hitting him with every conceivable damage type for the next one, in case you don’t figure it out right away. I’m sure she’ll give you your credit later, though.”
Alizia coughed. “And I’m sure it’ll be in a big grand announcement in front of everyone and not in private.”
“Oh look, he’s invulnerable again,” Georgius said. “Wonder what he’s weak against now?”
“THAT GREW A LITTLE TOO CLOSE FOR MY COMFORT. GOOD THING I KEEP A LITTLE EXTRA LUCK IN MY POCKET.”
“Could all of our Thieves use Pickpocket on him, please?” I asked in raid chat.
“But that doesn’t do any damage—ohhhh,” Cedra said. “You heard the man. Thieves, use Pickpocket now! Also, everyone be ready for something new when he drops below 10%.”
As Cedra predicted, Shades faded into a mist made of his namesake right as he ticked to 9%. He was invulnerable in that state, but unlike before, he didn’t shout out a clue about how t
o make him vulnerable again, nor did his eyes change color. As a matter of fact, I couldn’t see his eyes at all.
Alizia let out a weak cough. “Sorry, don’t know what came over me, must’ve caught something.”
“For the thousandth time, there are no colds
I tried to ask him to repeat it, but everything came out of my mouth as a fit of coughs as well. The icons above our heads confirmed my suspicion. Shades had inflicted us with a disease.
“Cure Disease, now,” Cedra said.
“Found it!” Yary said.
Yary’s fists glowed with a white energy as she struck me in the chest, moved on to the rest of the group, and then helped with the the raid. The energy quickly spread out to cover my skin. It felt like I was being massaged all over by millions of tiny hands. When it was over, I was no longer coughing or taking damage, and a quick check above my head showed the debuff was gone as well. In its place was a new buff that granted me immunity to disease for the next thirty seconds.
After letting out a couple of involuntary pants, I realized Alizia’s and Olaf’s HPs had gotten dangerously low. I quickly brought them up to safe levels with a string of Regrowths.
I smiled and focused on the raid again. The boss only had 9% left, and I’d a feeling he wouldn’t do anything new. We already knew how to combat his latest special attack, and it was reasonably easy to undo. I knew we had him—or we would have, if we could only get the newcomer to move.
Shades Be Gone—New from the Makers of Screaming Death & Oops! I Wiped My Raid
Shades coalesced into his physical form. His suit was in tatters and the only movement he seemed capable of was to lean forward and hack blue bits onto the ground. We probably could’ve kicked him to death if we could’ve gotten through the blue shield of magic that appeared in front of him. I’d a feeling the only way to remove it would be to remove his new guardian first.
Nibble tried every trick his squat body could manage as he tried to maneuver around Clewd. But Clewd easily shifted and danced to counter him. It was like he was covered in some sort of beaverkin repellent. Murderwinkle joined in a minute later, yet Clewd just moved faster. It almost looked he was in two, even three places at once. If he’d learned how to stream, I had no doubt this one would’ve had a million views in no time.
“Get out of the way!” Cedra screamed.
Clewd laughed. “Nice try, but the home team always goes first. Which, in this case, is me. I spy with my little eye something dead.”
Cedra growled. “Was that a threat?”
Clewd slowly scanned the raid. “An odd guess, but no. I do not see ‘a threat.’ Guess again.”
“You know, it’s actually entertaining when he does this to someone else,” Alizia said in group chat.
“He’s almost as distracting as you,” I said.
“Hey!”
“I said ‘almost.’”
“Then I almost take back all the bad things I said about you,” Alizia said in group chat.
“I’m going to rip that stupid mustache off your corpse and hang it in our trophy room,” Cedra said to Clewd.
“That technically counts as three guesses, but since you’re having such a hard time, I’ll let it slide,” Clewd said. “Guess again.”
“I Shout at you!” Cedra pointed her short spear at Clewd. “Attack him now!”
Clewd dumbly stumbled toward Cedra, though I’d a feeling it’d nothing to do with Shout. Cedra leapt in the air and descended like a comet. With her spear pointed down, she landed in a crash. I thought the whole room would collapse from the impact, but when the dust settled, the only damage seemed to be to Cedra’s ego and her sense of balance. She staggered backward in almost an exact rewind of her target’s shamble seconds ago. Clewd was still standing there with the same goofy grin on his face, without a scratch on him. Nibble and Murderwinkle took advantage of the distraction at least, and advanced on Shades, but Clewd quickly appeared in front of them and shoved them back.
“I’m not sure how to qualify that guess,” Clewd said. “Would you care to rephrase it?”
“He has some sort of special resistance,” Cedra said. “Try every resist break you have. Now.”
Clewd laughed. “No, I don’t see any resist breaks. Try again.”
Every color of the rainbow shot out at Clewd. Even with the vast quantity of spells cast, I could barely see. In quick succession, icons flooded the area around Clewd’s head, most of them featuring things being broken or shattered.
“Good job,” Cedra said. “Now back to offense. Unload.”
Clewd smirked as another round of sparkly colors and objects crashed into him. The battery continued for several minutes, giving Clewd plenty of time to go through his entire arsenal of facial expressions, several yawns, and to map out the surface of his glove. My hope that the vein in Cedra’s forehead would finally burst was dashed when she finally lowered her arm and called, “Stop.”
“Perhaps her earlier statement that Clewd is the boss was not wrong,” Olaf said in group chat.
Georgius’s sword drooped in his hand. His mouth followed soon after. “We’re gonna need a bigger raid or three. What is he?”
Yary’s bright red hair bobbed up behind Clewd. She paused for a second to rub her eyes—probably having been blinded by the cascade of spells—and then raised her fist. “Not sure what he is, big brother, but he’s protecting something evil. And for that he must be sent back to his bind point.” She rubbed her glove one last time and bolted forward. “Kiyaaa!”
Cedra’s brow crinkled. Georgius froze in shock. I started casting a heal. Alizia cheered. Olaf rushed forward to help. The rest of the raid just stood there. Clewd laughed.
Yary’s first strike skidded off his armor for the usual 0 damage. Clewd stopped laughing and stared at her seriously. “Put a little more elbow grease in it, miss. I want my armor to shine for the next scene. If you spend a little extra time on the shoulders, there’ll be a nice bonus in it for you. I’ve had this little kink in the left one for ages.”
Yary hit him a dozen more times to the same result before finally giving up. She stared at her fists like they’d betrayed her. “No, I can’t let them be right about me. And I can’t let that thing live.” She ducked under Clewd’s arm to stand before him. “You’re like Plato protecting the evil Asgardians from the Aztecs. Get out of our way, you big bully.”
Clewd pouted. “I’m not ‘big,’ young lady. My mother had no fewer than seven doctors consulted and the consensus was that I’m ‘stout edging toward husky if I drank a lot that day.’ Now if you have a doctorate in dentistry as well, we can perhaps amend that. Do you?”
“Nope, just a doctorate in this.” Her palm shot up and landed right below his sternum.
Clewd’s next laugh caught in his throat as his armor shattered into a thousand shards. Yary’s fist held in place for over a minute, giving Clewd plenty of time to retaliate. He instead chose to cover his groin with both hands. I was incredibly grateful Yary hadn’t shattered his boxer shorts along with his armor.
“What ability was that?” Georgius asked.
“We’ll worry about that after the raid,” Cedra said. “Knights, attack!”
Even without armor, the raid’s strikes did no damage, or at least they didn’t until Georgius, Noradine, and Cedra joined in. Even then, it was mostly in the single digits. However, what they lacked in quality, they more than made up for in quantity. Clewd’s only defense seemed to be to run around us in circles, which did actually work for a few minutes, until Cedra figured out his pattern.
When Clewd hit 60%, he finally uttered something besides a squeal. “Do you have any idea what you’re doing?”
“Getting some much-needed revenge and removing an obstacle to loot.” Cedra’s voice contained so much venom I was afraid she’d inflict poison on the beaverkin Thief in front of her.
“No,” I said. “He’s going to say some
thing about blocking his shot and only recording him from his bad side.”
“The second part of that was at least accurate, but that wasn’t what I was going to say.” He contorted his body to duck under Cedra’s spear while still spinning away from Olaf’s dagger. “If I die, then poor Repsak will be sure to follow.”
Cedra directed the other melee to spread out, soon forcing Clewd into a corner. “That’s kind of the idea. You die. The boss dies. We distribute the loot. Everyone wins.”
Alizia cleared her throat. I’d no doubt she was going to begin singing her new song, “Things With Loot Aren’t People.” Surprisingly, her mouth shut when she saw me glaring at her.
Olaf tried to speak as well but he was drowned out by sound of combat. I checked my notifications and Cedra had turned off raid chat for everyone but her.
“He said ‘Repsak,’ not ‘Shades,’” Olaf said in group chat. “We have to stop this.”
“Georgius, can you help?” I asked.
Georgius glanced back at me, his sword stopping mid-slash. “Doubtful, but I’ll try.”
“Remind her that we don’t have to kill Clewd to get to the boss,” Yary said as she missed yet again.
Georgius spun around and stood in front of Cedra. She tried to push him out of the way but he wouldn’t budge. With the noise from the battle, I couldn’t hear anything they were saying. I’d a feeling they were talking in private messages because I doubted they could hear each other using normal speech.
Cedra finally managed to maneuver around Georgius, but a long, white staff dropped down to intercept her. She tried to push that out of the way too when it suddenly moved again and rapped her on the side of the head. Her head spun to locate the staff’s owner, and she found the eyes of Noradine boring into her.
“Halt all attacks,” Cedra said in raid chat. “Melee maintain positions and keep him boxed in.”
Cedra turned her death glare on the Light Mage, who let out a hearty laugh in response. Georgius gestured to Olaf, who bounced forward next to Cedra to confront Clewd.