by Jacqui Rose
Del whispered menacingly. ‘Who is she, Alan? I’m going to kill you anyway but you might as well tell me.’
Alan’s eyes flickered with fear. ‘Julie … Julie Cole.’
Del stood up. Julie Cole. How did he know her name? Oh fuck. Fuck.
‘The girl from Camden? The girl who was murdered recently?’
Alan nodded.
‘You killed her?’
‘Not me … not me, I swear … It was … it was …’ As Alan tried to finish his sentence he fell forwards off the toilet; a pitiful sight, his trousers still round his ankles. Del watched as Alan scrunched up his shirt, clawing desperately at his chest with one hand, the other stretching and searching for his phone. Just as his fingers touched his mobile, Del stood on his hand, bending down to pick up the phone, slipping it in his pocket.
The voice was almost inaudible. ‘Help me, I’m dying … I’m dying.’
‘Then it saves me the trouble of killing you.’
Star looked up at Del as he opened the car door, the warmth and love in her eyes pouring out. ‘Everything okay, Dad?’
As Del put the Range Rover in drive he leaned over to kiss Star, trying to erase the horrors from his mind. ‘It will be, babe. It will be.’
41
Star danced around in delight, skipping and hopping from one foot to another. She was in heaven. Her heaven. She twirled around, spinning and pretending to catch the cotton-candy clouds.
‘I can see one, Daddy. I can see one.’ Star stood still long enough to stare through the lens of her sailor’s spyglass out at the Mediterranean Sea, watching as pirates in sail ships with skull and crossbone flags went by. ‘Look, Daddy, look.’
Del smiled, taking the spyglass. He looked through it, seeing only the blue crystal waters of the Med with its yachts and speedboats.
‘Did you see them, Dad?’
Del passed it back to Star and ruffled her hair. ‘I did, mate. I did.’
Star looked delighted. ‘Just wait until I tell Mum.’
Del watched with a heavy heart as Star did cartwheels on the immaculate lawn by the side of his villa. His head was wrecked. He hadn’t even had time to think about the Russians properly. The past few days had been a living nightmare. It still wasn’t over and he didn’t know what to do about most of it.
He called Star over. ‘Listen, Star, there’s something I need to tell you, babe. I should’ve told you earlier but I didn’t know how to tell you. It’s just, well … you know Mummy and I aren’t married, well that’s because …’
The words stuck in Del’s throat as the double doors of the villa swung open. Edith stood there in all her garish glory. She stared at Del, then down at Star, and back to Del again.
Her voice was loud and coarse as she pointed at Star.
‘What’s that? I hope it ain’t what I think it is.’
Del sighed. Things had just got a whole lot worse. ‘I want her out of here. Do you bleedin’ hear me?’ Edith squawked at the top of her voice as Del sat at the kitchen table, knocking back his fourth glass of whisky.
Star lay on her back on the inflatable lounger, her hands submerged in the warm water of the pool, delighting in Edith’s loud voice. She could hear everything. This holiday was going to turn out better than she could’ve ever imagined. Pirates and secrets. She let out a little squeal of joy, then continued to listen.
‘Don’t frigging go there with me, Edith.’
‘Oh that’s rich, ain’t it? You bring your bastard offspring here and then you tell me not to go there with you.’
Del threw his glass against the wall.
‘Oh I see, now you’re going to start smashing up the bleedin’ joint.’
‘It’s better than putting me fist down your throat. Don’t push it, Edith. Have a go at me – even at Bunny, but you do not fucking go there with Star.’
Edith snorted. ‘What kind of name is Star? Bunny and Star? What you doing, Del, training them up to be in the movies?’ Edith winked at Del, knowing they both knew what kind of movies she was referring to.
‘That’s it!’ Del stood up, flipping the table over in fury. Edith waddled to the other side of the room.
‘Don’t come near me, Del. Don’t you fucking come near me.’
‘Oh you’d like that, wouldn’t you? But I wouldn’t waste my time laying a finger on you; I haven’t done before and I ain’t going to do it now. I don’t need to. I’ll just pay someone to fucking do it for me.’
Edith screamed, her strong Cockney accent punctuating the air. ‘How can you say that to me, eh? How can you threaten me like that? ‘Aven’t I always been there for you? ‘Aven’t I always supported you? Keeping me mouth shut whilst you put it about. And how do you thank me? With a fucking kid.’
Del curled his lip at Edith. ‘Well maybe if we’d had kids of our own, I wouldn’t have felt the need to have one with someone else, would I?’
‘I never wanted kids.’
‘Not once we were married you didn’t. Once you had the old ring on your finger. But before we were hitched you couldn’t stop talking about bleedin’ kids.’
Edith sniffed. ‘I can change me mind, can’t I?’
‘You never changed your mind though, did you Edith? You never had any intentions of having kids. You lied to me. It was all a fat frigging lie from beginning to end. The whole thing. Every month like a muppet I wondered if you’d be up the duff, and every month you weren’t. Spending money on tests and Harley Street doctors, trying to find out what was wrong. But fuck all was wrong was it? The only thing wrong was you being on the pill. You mugged me off. But then I suppose if you had got pregnant you probably wouldn’t have known who the daddy was anyway.’
Edith had the decency to blush slightly.
‘Yes, that’s right, I know. Well I know about one of your lovers, anyway. Tell me, Edith – how many more were there? Two? Three?’
Edith’s look was supercilious. ‘Lots. Lots and lots and lots. And I enjoyed every one of them.’
Del looked at his wife in disgust, then turned and walked away without another word.
* * *
‘Me Dad says I can have some lemonade if I want some.’ Star stood with her hands on her hips as she stared at Edith, who was sitting at the table, sipping a large glass of lemonade.
‘There’s none left.’
Star crinkled her nose. She didn’t like Edith. ‘It ain’t finished, I can see some in the jug.’
Star reached across to the jug. Edith grabbed her wrist tightly. ‘It’s not yours. It’s mine. So keep your hands off it.’
‘But me Dad said I could have some.’
‘Well Del’s gone out and he ain’t here is he? So keep your hands off my lemonade.’
Star said nothing. She stared at Edith then turned away and walked out of the kitchen. Edith smiled to herself. Bleedin’ kid. She’d show her who the boss was. She took another sip of her drink, certain it tasted sweeter. Happily, Edith settled back down to read her magazines.
‘Oi missus.’
Edith turned round in her chair to the sound of Star’s voice. She came face to face with Star and a loaded catapult.
‘Now don’t be silly, put that down. I’ll tell your dad when he comes back.’
Star shrugged. ‘Tell him, I don’t care, ’cos I’ll tell him about you.’
Edith’s mouth was tight with fury, her cheeks red. ‘I said put it down.’
Star gestured her head. ‘Not till you pour me a drink.’
‘I think you better do what she says, Edith.’
Star jumped in fright as she heard a man’s voice behind her. Alfonso Garcia smiled at Star. He walked over to the side, took a spare glass out of the cupboard then walked across to the table, picking up the jug of lemonade. He filled the glass almost right to the top. ‘Ice?’
Star grinned. ‘Yes please.’
Edith scowled. ‘What do you think you’re doing, Alfonso?’
‘My job.’
Popping a couple of cubes in
to the glass, Alfonso scowled at Edith. He passed the glass to Star. ‘I think it’s all right to put your catapult down now. I should’ve tried that myself. I’m Alfonso by the way.’
‘Star.’
Alfonso put out his hand. ‘Nice to meet you, Star. Not all of us around here are quite so horrible. Some of us actually like children.’
He smiled at Star as he walked out of the room, leaving Edith seething with fury as Star winked at her while she sipped her lemonade.
‘I don’t like her.’ Star sat on Del’s super-king-size bed playing with the snails she’d found on the wall near the pine trees.
‘Who don’t you like?’
‘Edith.’
‘Not many people do like her, honey.’
‘She’s mean.’
‘Yup.’
‘Is she really your wife?’
Del looked up from his newspaper. ‘Someone’s got big ears … You ain’t angry at me, are you?’
Star looked puzzled. ‘What for?’
‘For being married to Edith and not to Mummy.’
‘Do you love Edith?’
‘You’re having a laugh ain’t you, girl?’
Star smiled. ‘Well that’s okay then ain’t it?’
Del looked at Star, contented. If only other things in life could be so simple. He loved spending time with his daughter. Maybe coming here for a while was for the best. As long as Edith stayed out of his way, not only would it give him head space, it’d allow him to spend time with Star without Claudia or Bunny fussing about. Shit. He didn’t want to think about Bunny. The images of her being abused when she was not much older than Star, and images of her and Teddy were burnt into his mind.
‘Baby, do you have to put them on the bed; they’re all slimy.’
‘No they’re not. Look, this one’s called Alfie and this one’s called Teddy, after my friend.’
Del sat up curiously, but it didn’t go unnoticed by Star.
‘Teddy?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Star baby. I didn’t know you had a friend called Teddy. Who’s Teddy, sweetheart?’
Star shrugged her shoulders. She always knew when adults wanted her to tell them something. They spoke all softly and always put down whatever they’d been looking at so they could focus on what they were saying. But she wasn’t going to tell on Teddy because Teddy was her friend. Her secret. He’d got her dad to come back like he’d promised so she wasn’t going to break her promise to him. She wasn’t going to tell her dad.
She knew exactly how to stop him asking.
‘Can we talk about Mummy? Mummy and the baby? Maybe we can call the baby Sid?’
Del bristled. ‘Why don’t we talk about this later, Star?’
‘No, I want to talk about it now. Can we call Mummy and ask her?’
‘Listen, Star, Daddy’s got to go and make some phone calls. Will you be all right here for a while?’
Star nodded. She watched her dad hurry out. Adults could be so silly.
42
Warm tranquil days drifted by in a haze of blue skies and clear oceans. Sailing and making sandcastles. Eating and drinking with long leisurely siestas in-between. The biggest decisions being made were whether to go swimming in the misty mornings or in the midday sun. Both Star and Del hoped the halcyon summer days would never come to an end.
Del had spoken to Bunny only a few times, their strained conversations amidst the Marbella sun casting a shadow on the otherwise bright days.
There’d been no word from the Russians and, for the time being, Del was thankful. He didn’t have the energy nor the inclination to deal with Milo. He’d spoken to some of his men back in London and Alan’s death wasn’t being treated as suspicious. But it didn’t make it any easier or less complex. He still didn’t know what to do or who to talk to about Alan and his involvement with Julie Cole and Bunny.
Del wanted to forget it but his conscience wouldn’t let him. He’d told himself it wasn’t really his concern, that it was other people’s problem now Alan was dead; he’d done his bit. But as soon as he’d told himself that, the images of horror rose up in his head. The innocence of childhood lost. Unrecoverable stolen lives.
So then Del started to think all over again about what he was going to do, but he was no further forward than he’d been before.
‘Hey Dad, look at this.’ Star held up a sun-bleached shell with her sandy wet fingers.
‘That’s pretty ain’t it? What you going to do with that, doll?’
‘I’m going to paint it and send it to Mum and Claudia. You reckon they’ll like it?’
Del dried Star off with the large Ralph Lauren beach towel as she stood, dripping wet and shivering, on the beach. ‘I think she’ll love it, mate.’
‘What are you going to send her?’
Del looked at his daughter. If only it were so simple. There was so much to get his head round he didn’t know where to start, and because of that he was no closer to sorting the mess with Bunny – Bronwin – out. Even that. Even the name, it all felt so different now. Everything had changed.
Only a few weeks ago he was in blissful ignorance and now, like flipping Jericho, the walls had come tumbling down.
Turning his attentions back to his daughter, Del stood up, taking Star’s hand to walk back along the jetty to his private sailboat – one of two boats he owned and a personal delight of Star’s that seemed to hold no bounds.
‘I dunno, babe. Let me think about it.’
‘You could always send her a poem.’
Del glanced at Star and burst into laughter. ‘Can you honestly see me sending your mum a poem?’
Star’s forehead creased as she thought about it. She looked at her dad and grinned. ‘Yeah, you’re right. She’d think you were off your bleedin’ nut.’
The harmonious laughter of father and daughter floated into the cloudless sky as Del and Star happily set sail towards the harbour of Puerto Banús.
* * *
‘Wrap it round a few more times, baby.’ Del gestured his head, interrupting his phone conversation to give Star the instructions she needed to tie up the boat properly.
‘Is that better, Dad?’
Del looked and put his thumb up to show his approval. Star skipped on the spot. She hadn’t known what a good sailor her dad was. In fact, she didn’t even know he had a boat. But it didn’t matter because now he was teaching her how to sail, and soon she was sure she’d be as good as him.
Since they’d been in Marbella, she’d been sailing every day, and she’d learnt a lot. How to tie up a boat. How to move the sail to make the yacht go in another direction. She even knew some sailing terms. The best term she knew was ship ahoy, though her dad said it wasn’t really a sailing term, but she didn’t care because it sounded good.
‘Put that down, Star!’
Star looked up, hearing her dad’s urgent tone as she stood on the deck.
‘Now!’ Her dad didn’t often shout but when he did, Star Barker-Williams knew to listen.
‘What is it?’
‘It’s dangerous, that’s what it is. It’s a flare gun. If you press the trigger and you’re pointing it at someone, it can do a lot of damage. Take your eye out.’
‘Or your nuts off!’
Del shook his head, taking the flare gun out of Star’s hands. Going back to his phone call, he walked away, out of Star’s earshot.
‘Listen, Burkey, do me a favour will you? Speak to our courier and find out what the lowdown is on the consignment of powder coming in. I don’t want to piss anyone off, but I ain’t being out of pocket. And Burkey, this is a simple one. No mistakes, eh?’
Del clicked off the phone as another phone call came in. It was Bunny.
‘Yes?’
‘Is that what we’ve come to now Del, a yes, instead of a hello?’
Del rolled his tongue in his mouth trying not to say what he was thinking. He didn’t need his ears chewing off.
Bunny was getting better and he could tell. She
still had a long way to go, but the nearer she got to recovery the more distant they were becoming. She was getting stronger, but with it she was becoming harder. Or perhaps that was just him. Perhaps he just needed to tell her what had happened with Alan. What he knew. What he’d seen. But there weren’t the words. Well, not any he knew anyway. So instead of talking, he’d retreated and as he retreated, Bunny slipped further away from his reach.
‘Listen, is there anything in particular you want, Bun, because I’ve got another call coming in?’
Before Bunny’s reply came, Del switched over to the other caller. It was Edith. Sometimes Del wondered what he’d done in another life to deserve the shit that was being fanned his way.
‘Edith?’
‘I need some money.’
‘And how is that anything to do with me?’
‘’Cos you’ve got your hands on it.’
‘We’ve been over this before, Edith. Many a time. You ain’t got any money. It’s my money darlin’, and you ain’t getting your nasty paws on it.’
‘How am I supposed to live, eh?’
‘You get your allowance.’
Edith scoffed down the phone. ‘You were always a cunt.’
‘And you think calling me a cunt will help your case?’
Edith ignored Del’s question. ‘I said, I want some money.’
‘Listen, doll. The weekly grocery bill, I pay for, so you ain’t ever going to be out of food. The bills, I pay for, so you ain’t ever going to be without electricity. Anything else – you pay for. It’s not my problem.’
Del cut off the call. It rang again immediately. Angrily, he answered. ‘Look, Edith, I’ve got nothing to say to you.’
‘It’s Milo.’ Del sat down on the deck. So much for no phone calls and getting away from it all.
‘Milo.’
‘As you decided not to lay it to rest, I’m just letting you know, I want my cocaine back and I want my money. With interest. Fifty per cent interest.’
Del laughed scornfully, shielding his eyes with his hand from the sun. ‘No can do, Milo.’
‘Is that your final answer?’
‘It is.’
‘Then I shall recover it whichever way I see fit.’