A Lie for a Lie

by Robin Merrow MacCready

  Before I left work, I checked my texts. One text from Bo.

  Bo: Yes, I’m in! When and where?

  Me: 4:30 Nick’s Sporting Goods

  Bo: New hobby?

  Me: You have no idea … Later.

  I had fifteen minutes before I had to meet Bo at Nick’s, so I cruised by the brownstone and parked in my usual spot.

  My phone vibrated. It was a text from Will.

  Will: Still working but I want to see you again.

  Me: When are you off?

  Will: tomorrow night.

  Me: See you on the island?

  Will: K

  While I watched the brownstone through my camera lens, I let Will’s words run on a loop in my head. I want to see you again I want to see you again I want to see you again I want to see you again I want to see you again … I wasn’t going to bug him about Nicole. It could drive him away if I hovered, so my plan was to see how it went tomorrow night.

  Dad’s car wasn’t there, but the blue van was parked in front. Skipper, the girlfriend, walked in front of the window. I toyed with the idea of going to the door. “Hey, I was on my way home from work and I thought I’d come by and introduce myself to my dad’s girlfriend.” She’d look shocked. Then I’d say, “My name’s Kendra. Didn’t he tell you about me and Mom?”

  But I was only toying. I stayed hidden and snapped photos when she or Jilly went by the window. My cell rang, but it was Jenn. Not Will. I must have sounded disappointed.

  “Gee, sorry I called,” she said.

  “I was hoping it was Will. We were just texting.”

  “Wow, someone’s getting braver.”

  “That would be me. We’re going to meet on the island tomorrow night.”

  “Hey, we can—”

  “Wait a minute,” I said. Jilly had come out the door and sat on the steps, and I snapped a few pictures. She looked behind her several times while texting on a phone.

  “You’re spying again; I can hear the camera. Oh. My. God. I don’t know what to say, Kendra.”

  “Remember, I’m not the one having the affair.”

  “Leave it alone. It’s their problem.”

  There was silence on the line while each of us waited for the other to speak. Skipper came out and stood behind Jilly with her hand on her hip. They both talked at each other. I couldn’t hear them, but Jilly’s action spoke clearly: “Here’s your stupid phone!” And she pushed the phone into her mother’s hands and stomped through the door. This girl had an attitude.

  “Jenn, I gotta go.”

  “Please tell me you’re going to stop.”

  “I would, but it would be a lie.”

  * * *

  On the way to Nick’s sporting Goods, I weighed the lingering disapproval of Jenn against what I knew for sure: that Mom was being deceived and didn’t know it. How can it be “their problem” if Dad’s doing it to us?

  I could see that Bo’s truck was there already, and I pulled up beside him. It was just as I hoped—he broke into a wide grin and cracked a joke about our covert operation.

  “Hey, Kendra, I brought the goods.”

  He passed a smoothie through the window, and I took a sip.

  “Aw, thanks, Bo. Peanut butter?”

  He nodded. “So I heard Jenn talking to Doug. She’s got a wicked crush on him.”

  I closed my eyes and sipped some more while he ranted about his sister and her boyfriend.

  “It’s more than a crush. It’s pretty serious. I don’t think you can turn that boat around,” I said.

  He shrugged. “Hey, it’s her life. He’s an ass, but that’s not illegal.”

  It was good to be on the same page with someone, and before I knew it, I’d told him about Dad.

  “That sucks, Kennie. I’m so sorry.”

  “Jenn says to leave it alone. I keep thinking I’ll tell Mom, but I don’t want to hurt her. Then I think I might confront Dad, but I can’t do it because I’m chicken.” I passed him my camera. “I still can’t believe what I saw. Look.”

  Bo scrolled through the photos, pausing to give me a sympathetic look. “Holy shit. What are you going to do?” he asked. He gave me the camera, and I gave him back his smoothie.

  “I don’t know.” I pulled out the receipt. “Right now I want to figure out what this was for.”

  “Who’s Skipper?”

  “That’s his girlfriend.”

  He repeated the name under his breath as he got out of his truck. “Let’s get on it!”

  There was no line at the register and just a few people roaming the store on a hot and humid June evening. We walked right up to the clerk.

  Holding out the receipt, I said, “Could you beep this and remind me what I bought for my sister?”

  The kid who was working smiled and waved a scanner over the paper. “You bought her a soccer ball and shin pads, and you saved thirty percent.”

  I said thanks and made a beeline for the door with Bo close behind. “Whoa, he’s buying things for her kid,” I said. He was trying to insinuate himself into her life, like he wanted it to last.

  “Sounds serious, Kendra.” He slung his arm around me and gave me a squeeze. At the truck, he took something off his dashboard. “You might need this.”

  It was a starfish on a piece of orange bait-bag cord. “Bo,” I said, feeling a lump form in my throat.

  “This one was already dead. Promise,” he said, handing it to me.

  He was referring to the time Jenn, Bo, and I had a crazy plan to make starfish ornaments to sell to the tourists. It was a great idea except Jenn and I had collected dead starfish to dry out, while Bo had harvested a bucket of live ones and laid them out on his porch to dry. It was horrifying. And stinky, too, and we gave him a really hard time. In the end we made about fifty bucks.

  * * *

  Before I went into the house, I hung Bo’s ornament over the rearview mirror and gave it a spin. I could’ve gone into the store myself, but I was glad Bo had come.

  Mom was wearing lipstick. She was dressed for a night out in a long silky tunic and pants, looking beautiful. “How was work?” she asked.

  “Fine.” I shrugged and went directly to the fridge and opened it up.

  What I needed wasn’t in the fridge. I needed to tell Mom that Dad was having an affair and buying presents for his girlfriend’s kid. It was the truth, but way too much truth right now. She came over and put her arm around me, and we stared into the fridge for a while. “Why don’t you invite Jenn over and watch a movie or something.”

  “I’m peopled out. I need alone time.”

  “Got it.” She gathered my hair into a twist. “You see that delicious tortellini salad?”

  “Yum,” I said, even though I hated cold pasta. Shaking my hair out, I reached for it. Jumpy. I was jumpy. I couldn’t relax the knot of guilt in my gut. I knew something big and I wasn’t telling. Is the omission of information the same as lying?

  This was a big, heavy lie, and no matter how I tried to turn away from it, it hovered around me like a fog.

  The fridge motor kicked in, and I startled.

  I took the salad out and went to the kitchen computer.

  “Is something going on, Kendra?” Mom adjusted her scarf.

  Here was the opening. Would I take it? She was looking relaxed and happy, and with just a few words I could change her life. Dad’s having an affair.

  Instead, I kept things as they were. “I’m fine. Go have a good time.”

  “I’ll be at the club with Louise until ten-ish.” She left, leaving the scent of her perfume behind.

  * * *

  I was asleep on the couch when Mom came in late that night, but I opened my eyes enough to see her sway a little as she slung her wrap over the post at the bottom of the stairs.

  “’Night, Mom.” I pulled the throw around me and sank deeper into the couch.

  “Oh, hi, babe.” She started up the stairs, but I heard her misjudge the first step. “Go back to sleep.”

 
; I sat up. “Are you okay?”

  She giggled as she made her way up.

  “Mom, have you been drinking?” I went to the bottom and watched as she rounded the corner at the top. I’d never seen her drunk. “Mom?”

  Mumbles from the bathroom, water running.

  I ran up and knocked on the door. Just tuneless humming. The water ran and drawers opened and closed. I heard her electric toothbrush buzzing and then the toilet flush.

  “Everything all right?”

  “I’m fine, honey. The girls and I had a night out. No big deal. It won’t happen again.”

  “Mom, this is so weird.”

  The door opened, and there she was, hair tied back, face freshly washed. Mom, as usual.

  CHAPTER 8

  When Jenn called in the morning, my head was foggy. After seeing Mom drunk, I couldn’t sleep and ended up watching too many late-night talk shows.

  “Hey,” she said, a little out of breath.

  “Hey back. What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Running.”

  “Um, did you say ‘running’?”

  “Yeah, running. Doug runs. He got me into it, so—”

  “Jenn, you hate exercise.”

  “I love it now,” she said, puffing heavily.

  “You woke me up to tell me that? Well, I think I can top that.” I sat up in bed.

  “Good. I need a break anyway.” Her breath slowed, and I could hear keys jingling. “It’s not about your dad, is it?”

  “No, this time it’s my mom. Where are you, anyway?”

  She let a beat go by. “Guess.”

  I sat up straighter. “Jenn, did you sleep with him?”

  “No, but I slept with him, and I’m insanely in love, and I stayed at your house if my mom asks.” I heard her car door slam.

  “Put your seat belt on and listen to me,” I said.

  “Okay, okay.”

  “Don’t do anything stupid. We promised each other that if we ever got to this point with a guy, we wouldn’t do anything without planning it first.”

  “I remember.” Then she sighed dreamily.

  “Okay, Jenn, my turn. My mother came home drunk last night.”

  Silence. Then she said, “Saint Colette of the Church of Saints? Saint Colette, the saint of all volunteer organizations? Saint Colette, high priestess of the Ladies’ Garden Club?”

  “Yes, Saint Colette was drunk. God, what would my dad say?”

  “‘Let’s party, babe’?”

  “No, really, Jenn, how weird is that?”

  “Pretty freakin’ weird.”

  “Maybe she’s having an affair, too.” I lay back down and pulled the blanket over my shoulders. As I said it, I knew it wasn’t true, but it was good to unload, even if Jenn wasn’t really listening.

  I could hear her fiddling with the radio, and after a while she said, “I’ll call you this afternoon and maybe we can make a plan.”

  “You want to go to the beach this afternoon? I mean, if you can tear yourself away.”

  “Maybe. Call you later,” she said.

  Maybe? That was not a Jenn answer; that was a drowning in Doug-ness answer.

  I told her I’d see her tonight at the island, but after I hung up, I had a weird feeling, like things had changed between us. Like I had been dumped by my best friend—for a guy.

  But wasn’t that how it should be? Would I do the same thing if Will and I were the real thing? In a nanosecond.

  I decided that tonight I’d be ready for Will if he was ready to make a move.

  Saturday-morning sounds came from the hallway. Dad was hollering for his shorts and boat shoes, and Mom was prompting him by asking him where he last saw them. I silently answered, They’re at your girlfriend’s house, probably.

  Then I sat up straight. If Dad’s going sailing, then he won’t be at the brownstone. I called Bo.

  “Hey, thanks for going with me last night. Do you want to see the scene of the crime?” I asked.

  “Now?” He yawned.

  “I woke you up. Sorry.”

  “No problem. Can we wear disguises?”

  “Of course. I’ll pick you up in ten,” I said, hanging up.

  * * *

  As Bo and I came up the rise, I could see Dad’s black Saab parked behind the van. My heart sank. He was taking them sailing! Even though Mom and I wouldn’t set foot on the Calliope, I didn’t want anyone else taking my place.

  I turned around at the top of the street and parked in the same tiny alley as the first day. I’d brought baseball caps as a joke, but now they seemed like a smart idea. We put them on and crossed to the tree-lined median and hid behind the oaks.

  “That brownstone with the girls on the stoop is the one to watch. The blond is Jilly and the other must be a friend.”

  Jilly and her friend did gymnastics on the stairs and swung their life jackets in the air. I felt for my camera in my bag and put it around my neck and then attached the zoom lens. I leaned into the oak tree, focusing on Jilly and her life jacket. She was unhappy about something. I’d spent afternoons like that, waiting to go down to the boat. It was always Dad and a client, or Dad and a phone call, or some meeting that made us late. I passed the camera to Bo.

  “Oh, man, this is cool, Kendra,” he said. “Well, it’s uncool—what he’s doing—but it’s like we’re old-school spies.”

  “Yeah, I know what you mean,” I said, taking the camera out of his hands and refocusing.

  “Operation Snapshot,” he whispered.

  I gasped. “Operation Snapshot,” I repeated. “That’s good, Bo.”

  Now Jilly yelled something and flung herself dramatically over the railing. Her friend sat on the step. I clicked. She looked behind her as Dad came out.

  “Shit, that’s your dad,” Bo said, looking from me to the brownstone and back to me. I pulled him behind the tree.

  “I know, Bo. I can’t believe it either,” I said.

  “What the—” Bo whispered. “Shit.”

  Dad rolled up his sleeves and was jingling his change and shaking his head. Skipper came to the open doorway. She yelled something I couldn’t understand, waved him away, and slammed the door. I clicked. Jilly threw down her life jacket and hollered at Dad. I couldn’t make it out. Click. He bowed his head. Then she yelled again. This time I got it. “I hate you!”

  Click.

  Bo and I exchanged a look.

  Could this be over?

  Jilly picked up the life jacket and brushed past him into the brownstone, her friend following behind. Click. Dad hopped down the steps and got into his car. Click. He drove off, and when he was out of sight, I began to breathe again.

  “That was intense,” Bo said.

  The steps were empty except for two kid-size life jackets.

  “I guess the show’s over. Let’s go,” I said.

  We sat in silence for a minute.

  “Want me to drive?” he asked.

  It hit me that he thought I was upset. “Oh, no, I’m good. If it was your dad, would you say something?”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “Dumb question. Of course you would, and you have, and you did.” He was the one in the Costello family who called everyone on their shit.

  “It doesn’t mean you should. Do what’s right for you.”

  For a second I couldn’t speak. And then I couldn’t stop myself from giving him an awkward sideways hug. “Thanks, Bo.”

  He kissed the top of my head and then patted it a couple of times.

  The day ahead seemed empty now. “Jenn said she’d go to the beach. Want to come?”

  “Yeah, let’s make a day of it.”

  * * *

  We made a day of it, but Jenn and Doug never showed. It didn’t matter, though. We swam and ate our way through the day.

  I dropped Bo at the café by five, sunburned and sandy.

  “Thanks,” I said. “I think it’s over now.”

  “Keep me posted.” He hugged me. “See you
tonight?”

  I remembered that I’d texted Will that I’d be out at the island. “Yup, I’ll be there.”

  When I pulled into the driveway, I could see the silhouette of Mom and Dad sitting on the screened porch sipping drinks. He’d wasted no time leaving the crying mess in Portland. I stayed in the car, watching and listening to their laughter. Even knowing what I knew about Dad, I still loved him. I loved the way my parents never forgot their routines: drinks after work, dinner parties with friends, Christmas in the mountains, and summers here at the beach. I loved that the pool didn’t get drained until Columbus Day, even though nobody used it much in October, and I counted on Memorial Day for the pool to be filled, even though I was still scared to swim. If Mom and Dad split up, it wouldn’t be the same. And now, with Dad’s possible breakup with the girlfriend, we had a chance of keeping it all together.

  I had my camera on and clicked back through my pictures: Dad at the concert, his girlfriend touching his face; Jilly scoring a goal, Dad and his girlfriend cheering. The three of them on the steps, Jilly’s angry face. I scrolled down to Delete. The little yellow trash can lid opened and closed, promising to make it go away. But I had to have proof. Instead, I turned the camera off.

  “Hey, Kendra!”

  I jumped and looked up to see Dad waving. He was blurred by the screen, but I could tell by his voice he was smiling.

  “You’re home,” I said as I entered the porch.

  “Why wouldn’t I be?” He held out his arms and stepped toward me.

  “Oh, no reason,” I said.

  He looked away.

  “Kendra,” Mom said, “are you here for dinner? We’re having salmon.”

  “Sure, but I’m going to the island later.” I sat down and helped myself to some cheese. I felt them staring. “Will Beckham is going to be there. I think he really likes me.” I bit into a cracker and grinned. I was almost giddy, knowing that Dad’s affair might be over. I felt free.

  I texted Jenn:

  Breakout Summer back on track. Dad and girlfriend are done.