Wilder (The Renegades)

by Rebecca Yarros

  “Why would you do that?” I asked. “This is exactly the kind of epic stuff you need for the documentary.”

  His features softened, and he kissed me. “Because a beautiful girl once told me that not everything epic was meant for a worldwide audience.”

  Okay, that was good. “Well, an insanely hot guy argued that.”

  His heart-stopping smile stole my breath. “He still does. Epic stunts are meant to be seen by the world.”

  “Then why leave the cameras?”

  His knuckles brushed the underside of my jaw. “Because my whole world is already right here, watching.”

  Excuse me while I reform from the puddle I melted into. I sighed and looked around at everyone snapping on their helmets.

  “Okay, if I were to agree to this absolute lunacy, what would happen?”

  I swore to God that I nearly saw him fist-pump.

  “I packed our parachute and put together our harnesses, so everything is as safe as can be.”

  “When did you have time to do that?”

  “Last night after you fell asleep. You know…after round two.”

  Landon snorted next to us, and I smacked Paxton’s chest with the back of my hand. “Seriously?”

  He shrugged. “Hey, you asked. Anyway, you’ll be strapped to my chest, and we’ll jump off. As soon as we’re clear of the rocks, I’ll pull the chute. The winds are great today, so they’ll carry us straight down to the beach.”

  I peeked over the side of the cliff. “And that giant shipwreck down there?”

  “We’ll miss it. Trust me, Leah. I’m really good at this. Ridiculously good at this, as a matter of fact.”

  “Well, you don’t need your ego stroked,” I said, my nerves kicking into high gear.

  “I can think of other things that like to be stroked,” he whispered into my ear.

  “Not funny,” I spat back. “Parasailing is one thing, but you’re asking me to jump off a cliff, Pax. Think about it.”

  He led me away from the group. “I know. This is what runs through your nightmares, right? Because I’ve seen a couple of them now.”

  I stiffened. Shit, I guess the one last night hadn’t been as quiet as I’d hoped. “I’m s—”

  “Don’t you dare apologize. We’re in this together now, you and I. You asked me to help you get over your fear, and that’s what I’m trying to do. That’s why the cameras aren’t here.”

  My heart jumped, then pounded, beating an obnoxious rhythm in my temples. “What if I can’t do this?”

  He pulled me against his chest, one arm wrapped around my back and the other stroking my face. “I’ll be with you. All you have to do is find the courage to say yes. I’ll do the rest. And if you can’t do it, then we’ll walk back down and meet the others on the boat.”

  “But you’d miss your chance to do it.”

  “For this trip, sure. But the beach isn’t going anywhere. You have to know that you’re more important to me than this. Whatever you decide, I’ll be okay with.”

  “We wouldn’t fall for long?” Was I actually considering this? Crap, I guess I was. After all, hadn’t I asked him to help me? The whole purpose of this trip had been to step outside my comfort zone—to live—and this was definitely living…if it didn’t kill me.

  “No, just long enough to clear the rocks.”

  “One in twenty BASE jumpers dies. That’s according to a 2014 study by—”

  His mouth stopped my rambling, kissing me soundly. It wasn’t overly passionate or sexual, it was more comforting, reassuring, but it still set a deep vibration running through me.

  “That won’t be us,” he promised. “I will never let anything hurt you. Not if it’s within my power. Do you believe me?”

  I nodded slowly, pulled into the force of his words, the expression in his Mediterranean-blue eyes. “I do.”

  “Do you trust me enough to do this?”

  Wasn’t that what this was all about? Did I trust Paxton enough to push my fear to the side? Logically, I knew his history with jumps, knew that if I was going to do this, there was literally no one on the planet better to do it with.

  Emotionally…the guy wanted me to hurl myself off a cliff.

  Laughter bubbled up, shaking my shoulders and bringing out an embarrassing snort.

  “Leah?”

  “I was thinking that jumping off a cliff is one way to fall for someone.” Ludicrous, but so fitting.

  “You falling for me, Firecracker?” he asked softly, an unnamable emotion passing over his face.

  Jumping off the cliff was definitely preferable to this conversation. I wasn’t ready to reveal any of my feelings, and I knew he wasn’t nearly ready to hear them. Throwing the L word into our relationship was the most surefire way to kill it.

  Sure, I’ll date you.

  Oh, by the way, I’m in love with you, too.

  Yeah. No.

  “I kind of like you,” I said instead.

  Now he was the one laughing. “Yeah, I kind of like you, too.”

  “Wilder!” Landon called from where they were all lined up at the cliff’s edge. “You coming, or what?”

  Paxton looked to me. “Well, do you choose the jump? Or the ‘or what’?”

  I was torn. What if I got up there and chickened out? What if something happened on the way down? What if I broke my ankle on the landing, or I puked all over Paxton?

  But what if I didn’t do it?

  Brooke was right, I’d never get this chance again. And besides, Rachel would have already harnessed up.

  Paxton would keep me safe.

  “Let’s jump.” The words came out of my mouth before I could think.

  His face lit up. “Let’s jump.”

  A few minutes later, Paxton knelt, putting me into the harness he’d double- and triple-checked, sliding the straps up over the leggings I’d changed into. “I like these,” he said with a smirk as he ran his hands up my thighs.

  “Yeah, yeah,” I muttered, my eyes fixed on the edge of the cliff, where Penna and Brooke had already jumped. “Don’t you want to watch them?” I asked.

  He shook his head, adjusting my straps. “Nope, they’re not my priority at the moment.”

  “You sure know how to make a girl feel protected.”

  He rose up before me, adjusting the shoulder straps with a quirk of his lips. “Hang around. In a few minutes I’ll sweep you off your feet.”

  Only he could make me laugh right before I was about to endanger my life.

  Once our helmets were snapped and I was clicked into Paxton’s harness, we stepped to the edge. The view was unparalleled. The half-moon beach below was only accessible by the boat waiting offshore, the white sand meeting the greens and blues of the water in stunning contrast. In the middle lay a shipwreck, and I couldn’t help but wonder how many jumpers it had seen.

  “You ready?” Paxton asked behind me.

  My heart lurched into my throat, and I had that same feeling as I did before the zip-line, knowing that something terrifying but amazing was about to happen. “You’ll keep me safe?” I couldn’t help but ask.

  “Always,” he answered, our helmets bumping as he leaned forward to kiss my cheek.

  “Let’s go.”

  “On three,” he said.

  “Okay.” Dear God, please don’t let me die doing something as stupid as this. I’ll be a good person. I’ll go to church, and rescue a dog from a shelter, and call my parents every Saturday, just don’t let me die.

  “One.”

  I’ll volunteer at homeless shelters.

  “Two.”

  I’ll tutor kids at an inner-city school. Or do my best to broker world peace. Yeah. One of those.

  “Three.”

  In perfect rhythm, we jumped.

  My stomach dropped as we did, adrenaline flooding my veins. With each heartbeat, I cut another piece of my fear free, let it fall, and hoped I never caught up with it again.

  The chute rippled out behind us, and our descent
instantly slowed. The warm breeze caressed my face, and I took in gulping breaths as the sheer perfection of the moment overwhelmed me. It was beautiful—the view, the jump, the fearlessness, and Paxton behind me, steadily guiding us.

  “What do you think?” he asked.

  “There are no words,” I answered.

  “Exactly,” he said, wonder in his voice. “Remember to bend your knees when we land. I’ll try to do most of the work.”

  A few seconds later we hit the beach. The whole thing took less time than I’d spent debating actually doing it. But it was something I’d never forget, something that could never be taken away from me.

  Paxton cut our chute loose and unhooked me. “You okay?” he asked as I spun in his arms.

  I raised up, kissing him, slipping my tongue past his teeth and hoping he’d taste the euphoria running through me, the gratitude I had that he’d pushed me but hadn’t pressured me.

  Unlike Barcelona, this time he responded, tilting his head to get past our helmets and wrapping me in his arms.

  “Thank you,” I said, my smile uncontrollable.

  “No, thank you,” he said, kissing me again. “Your trust means the world to me.”

  “Leah!” Penna yelled, running over to us and hugging me. I was swamped by Brooke, Landon, and a couple of the other Renegades until secure in Paxton’s arms, I was the center of a group hug.

  “Welcome to the Renegades, Firecracker,” he whispered in my ear.

  Nothing had ever sounded more like home.

  Chapter Twenty-Two

  Paxton

  At Sea

  Leah was going to kill me.

  I was officially ten minutes late for the before-class conference Dr. Westwick had requested, because the production meeting ran late. Physics wasn’t anything I was worried about, but his email had sounded anything but friendly.

  My hand paused on the door when I heard Leah’s voice from inside the classroom.

  “I’ll get knocked down an entire grade if you do that,” she said, sounding more worried than when I’d stuck her on the zip-line.

  “It’s not me doing anything, Miss Baxter. You missed the quiz because you failed to return to the ship in time. There are consequences to your actions.”

  Asshole.

  I walked into the classroom, Leah’s immediate look of relief transforming to annoyance when she checked her watch.

  “Production meeting ran late,” I said as way of explanation as I leaned against the desk she stood next to.

  “Not even an apology, Mr. Wilder?” Dr. Douchebag snapped.

  “Apologizing would mean that I wish it hadn’t happened and I’d do my best to not let it happen again. Seeing as we were discussing the safety of our upcoming stunt, I’m not sorry that it took longer than expected, and as for intending to never be late…well, I know myself better than to make that kind of promise.”

  Leah sighed.

  “Well, be that as it may”—he looked at me over his glasses—“when you neglected to get back to the Athena on time, you missed two of my classes, including a quiz.”

  “Yes,” I agreed.

  “Seeing as you chose not to be where you were supposed to, I’m under no obligation to let you take the quiz, and I see no reason to let you.”

  “But, sir, every other professor has agreed to let us turn in all the work due in the next few days,” Leah said, her voice calm and rational, but her fingers rubbed her shirt. She was nervous as hell.

  “Well, I’m not any of the other professors, am I? Every other student made it back to the ship. Every other student is here for their education, not for some adrenaline-fueled vacation.”

  “That’s hardly fair,” Leah started.

  “That’s bullshit,” I finished.

  “Excuse me?” Dr. Westwick turned his wrath on me, where I’d rather it have been in the first place.

  “Miss Baxter is on board for her education. She’s stuck tutoring me to keep her scholarship, and it’s not fair to punish her because she was assigned to me. None of this was her fault. I’m the one who caused us to be late returning to the ship. It was my fault, and if she wasn’t a work-study student, she wouldn’t have been there with me. It’s hugely unjust to punish her for something she had no control over—something she has to endure because she wants this education.”

  His narrowed gaze jumped between Leah and me. “And I’m supposed to cut you a break because your father owns this ship?”

  Leah sucked in her breath, and I cringed. Shit. I was going to have to dig out of that hole as soon as we were alone. Meanwhile, I could set this asshole straight and salvage Leah’s grade. “No. I don’t expect any leniency. I knew the rules. I’m just asking that you not punish someone for not being able to afford the education I take completely for granted—for having to work her way through this trip.”

  He rubbed his fingers on the bridge of his nose, moving his glasses up and down. “Fine. Miss Baxter, you may take the quiz after class today.”

  Her knuckles whitened on her shirt. We’d only been back on board for a day; there was no way she’d studied. “Can she have a day to study?” I asked.

  “Don’t press my buttons, Mr. Wilder.”

  “Paxton, it’s fine,” she said under her breath as the first of the students filed in for class.

  “Good, then I’ll be ready for you after class. Mr. Wilder, you do not get afforded the same luxury.” He turned, dismissing us as he headed toward his desk.

  “He’s such an asshole,” I said as I sat in the desk I’d been propped on.

  “Your dad owns the ship?” she threw back, taking her seat next to me.

  Shit. “No. I mean, he owns the company that owns the ship, but—”

  “That company isn’t public, so yes, your dad owns the ship.” She slammed her notebook on the desk.

  “My dad owns the ship,” I agreed.

  “And that’s why you can build a half-pipe in the theater and no one blinks. Why you have the biggest suite, and a work-study kid like me gets into the second biggest suite. Because it’s your ship.”

  “My dad’s company’s ship.”

  She glared at me.

  “Yeah. All of that.”

  She flipped through her binder, scanning her detailed notes from previous classes. “What are we going to do?”

  “What do you mean?”

  She looked over at me, exasperation written on every line of her gorgeous features. “I’m going to fail this quiz, but at least it’s more points than I would have gotten if he didn’t let me take it. What are we going to do about you? Or did you forget that my fate is tied to yours?”

  If the desk hadn’t been between us, I would have kissed the look off her face. Partly because I hated the worry lines between her eyebrows, and mostly because I loved kissing her. “Don’t worry about me. This is the one class I can afford to take the hit.”

  “How? I’m struggling to keep a ninety-one in this class.”

  “I have a hundred. I think that’s why Dr. Douche hates me so much. That, and I’m an entitled bastard.”

  “You have a hundred? How?” Her mouth dropped. Now I really wanted to kiss her, and that familiar stirring in my shorts was damn inconvenient.

  “It’s Application of Physics. A two-hundred level class. I’m a senior with four-hundred level physics classes. Not to mention…it’s physics. It’s literally what my life depends on.” Physics was easy. Laws, mathematics, rules that all made sense. It was the liberal arts that screwed me. I hated when shit was left up to interpretation.

  “Then why are you even taking this class?” she asked, her mouth still agape.

  “I had room for an elective,” I said with a shrug.

  She shook her head at me.

  Fuck it. I leaned across the desk, grabbed the back of her neck, and pulled her into a quick, hard kiss, uncaring that I’d just gone ship-wide public with our relationship. That’s right, guys. The gorgeous, smart girl is mine. I broke the kiss before she could
respond, and grinned. “I took the class because you did.”

  “Oh.” She nodded slowly.

  “Are we okay about the ship thing?” I had to know.

  “Exactly how much money do you have?” she asked, incredulous.

  “Would it matter if I didn’t have any?”

  She shook her head.

  “Then it doesn’t matter how much I do have, right?”

  “It doesn’t matter. I just wish you’d told me. I hate finding out stuff secondhand, especially about you, and you know how important honesty is to me.”

  My gut twisted. She didn’t even know the half of it.

  “That’s fair. What are you thinking?”

  She sighed wistfully. “The Athena. Your dad still loves your mom.”

  I swallowed and looked forward as Dr. Douche took the podium. “Love. Yeah, well, it’s never done either of them any good, has it?”

  She winced, but the lecture started before I could ask her why.

  But there was something in the way she leaned slightly away that made me wish I’d kept my mouth shut.

  That was a first.

  …

  “At least pretend to have a good time,” Bobby instructed before walking away. Landon rolled his eyes and downed the rest of his beer.

  The pounding bassline in the ship’s club was usually enough to distract me, but this was the last place I wanted to be. Now the challenge would be if I could make it look like I felt the opposite.

  “He’s still pissed that we had to cancel the Istanbul shoot when you bruised your ribs.”

  “Yeah, well, not as pissed as I was.” I polished off my Newcastle, and when Landon ordered another, I opted for water. I only had to sit here another hour or so before I could spend the rest of my evening worshipping Leah’s body, and that deserved my full concentration.

  Landon’s was on the two Sorority-Girl Barbies eyeing us. I wanted to say something to him about not fucking every girl on the ship, about not trying to feed the emptiness with meaningless hookups, but considering I was the one who put him in that situation, it wasn’t my… You know what? Fuck it.

  “So have you thought about slowing it down on that track?” I asked, motioning to where one of the girls giggled at his come-get-me grin.