He nodded again. “It is.”
“I’ve been a bad friend,” I started. Eric snorted, and I frowned. “I’ve been a bad friend, but I had good reason. I was basically forced to cut off contact with you when my ex-boyfriend Derek was threatened by our friendship.”
“I’m gay,” Eric said flatly.
“I know that. But it didn’t matter to him. He was insanely jealous that I was so close with another man, and he warned me to break off our friendship. He hit me when I refused.”
Eric’s eyes softened. “He hit you?”
“Yeah, a lot,” I said. I closed my eyes, not wanting the memories of Derek to infect my mind again.
“I didn’t know that, and for that, I’m sorry Jamie,” Eric said softly, grabbing my hand. I squeezed his hand in return.
“He did, he hit me a lot. And he belittled me, and he made me cut off contact with my closest friends, and he made me go on a diet. There were a lot of terrible things that Derek did. I’m out of the relationship now and know that it was abusive, but it still doesn’t excuse the way that I treated my friends, the people that had been on my side for years. I need to apologize for my own actions.”
“I’m going to accept your apology,” Eric said, still holding my hand. “But I was so hurt by what you said to me in that email, I mean, I still am-”
“Wait,” I said, cutting him off. “Email? What email?”
Eric looked at me in surprise, disgust curling his upper lip. “The email you sent me detailing why you could not be friends with me anymore. The one in which you called me a faggot.”
I recoiled in horror. “Eric, I would never say that to anyone, let alone a best friend. How could you think that I would say that? When I stopped talking to you, I didn’t send any emails or texts, I just stopped talking.”
“Well, then, who sent me an email from your account?” Eric asked, and I frowned.
“I mean, the obvious answer is Derek,” I said. “It’s the only thing that makes sense.”
“Yeah, I guess that does make sense. It was awful, and I’d never had anyone say anything like that to me before. It really devastated me to think that my best friend was the one saying it.”
I fidgeted, dreading asking him. “Eric...what exactly was in that email?”
He looked at me, tears shining in his eyes. “I’d really rather not rehash it. I’ve already told you the worst part about it. It was awful, and we can leave it at that. I’m just glad to know it didn’t come from you.”
I leaned in, gripping him in a tight hug. “Of course not. I’m sorry that I was ever bad enough to you that you would believe that something like that could come from me.”
“Jamie,” Eric said, kissing my head. “I forgive you.” I choked back a sob and nodded into his chest. “Can we be friends again?”
I leaned back, looking into his face and grinning. “You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting for you to ask that.” I leaned forward into the hug, trying to get months’ worth of hugs out of this embrace. “We should go out and celebrate! You, me, Hannah, and Dylan!”
“Who’s Dylan?” Eric asked.
“Dylan is great!” I exclaimed. “He’s our new friend from Bender’s. He’s from New York and he’s awesome.” I conveniently left out the part about Dylan being Logan’s best friend. I didn’t want to get into the whole Logan thing and ruin the amazing mood I was in now.
“Okay,” Eric laughed. “I’m excited to meet Dylan, then. Does tonight work?”
I nodded. “Tonight is perfect. I’ll let Hannah and Dylan know.” We both stood up, hugging again. “Well, you have my number again. Call me when you’re ready to go. I’ll be ready by eight.”
“Looking forward to it,” Eric said. He walked away, turning around to give me one last wave goodbye. I sat back down on the bench and hugged my arms to my chest happily. Life was getting better and better.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
I called Hannah on my walk home, letting her know that going out tonight was non-negotiable. I told her all about my talk with Eric, and she squealed happily.
“When are we going out?” she asked.
“Eight,” I replied. “And call Dylan too, I want Eric to meet him.”
“Okay, I’ll text him as soon as we hang up. This is so exciting!” Hannah said, squealing some more.
“I know,” I agreed. “I’m so excited for tonight. I’m about to be home, though, text me when you’re on your way.” We hung up, and I looked down at my phone for the time. It was four o’clock already, which meant I had four hours to take a nap, walk Luke, do my hair, and head out for the night.
I got home and Luke was napping on the couch already. I curled up next to him, rubbing my face in his soft fur. He sighed and placed his head in my lap, quickly falling back asleep. I set an alarm on my phone and dozed off next to him. It felt like only a minute had passed before my phone was loudly ringing. I looked at the alarm on my phone- six o’clock. Time to get showered and ready. I stretched groggily, then remembered what I was getting ready for. I grinned to myself, hopping off the couch and startling Luke. He grumbled and went right back to sleep.
I showered quickly, putting my hair up so it didn’t get wet- it always held a curl better if I didn’t wash it that day. I plucked and shaved and waxed. I cringed a little bit at the mass of little blonde hairs on my wax strip- it had been a while since my upper lip had seen a wax. I stood in front of my closet for fifteen minutes, staring at all my clothing. I chose a slinky little black dress and strappy heels. They would be annoying to walk in, but they made me look cute as hell. I put on some music and sang along loudly as I curled my hair and put on makeup. I finished the last curl, then ran my fingers through my hair to soften the curls. I looked at the clock again. A quarter till eight. I watched my phone excitedly, waiting for Eric’s call. It came at five till eight.
I picked up on the first ring. “Hey, you!”
“Hey, you,” Eric said. “Where do you want to go? A bar or a club?”
“Hm. I made myself all cute tonight, so we should do some dancing. A club, for sure,” I said.
“Gay or straight?” Eric asked.
I laughed. “We want to dance. Gay, of course.”
Eric laughed too. “Okay, well, meet me at The Fireman’s Pole in half an hour.”
I agreed, and we hung up. I texted the information to Hannah, who responded with a smiley face. The Fireman’s Pole was a gay club five blocks from my house. I thought about calling a cab because of my impractical shoes, but decided against it. I would be dancing all night in these, it would probably be a good idea to get my legs used to walking in them.
I let Luke out in the backyard and fed him dinner, then walked out the front door and locked it. It was a cool night with low humidity- a rarity for Virginia Beach, and a blessing for my freshly curled hair. The five blocks’ walk was surprisingly pleasant and my shoes didn’t bother me like I’d expected. I walked with excitement and confidence, and my mood soared.
Once I got to The Fireman’s Pole, I stood outside the club, checking my phone obsessively when I wasn’t discreetly checking out the beefy security guard working the door. Hannah texted me that she was five minutes away with Dylan and I let her know that I was waiting outside for them. Eric strolled around the corner of a building, looking gorgeous. He was freshly shaven and was wearing a v-neck tee shirt, jeans, and Chuck Taylors. The understated outfit worked for him, highlighting every bulge in his chest and arms. I remembered with a smile that I’d had a little crush on him when we first met, before I found out he was gay. He pulled me into a hug when he saw me, then grabbed my hand and twirled me around so he could check out my outfit.
He gave a long, low whistle. “Damn, girl. You’re looking extra fine today.”
I looked down at my outfit. “Oh, this old thing? Psh. I just rolled out of bed tonight looking like this.” I winked at him and he chuckled. I glanced over to the security guard, who was unabashedly checking Eric out. Both of my best frien
ds had that effect on people.
Hannah and Dylan got there seconds later. We got in line and the security guard checked our IDs, lingering extra long on Eric’s. I couldn’t help but notice Hannah’s hand nestled in the crook of Dylan’s arm. I looked at Dylan’s face and hoped Hannah had told him this was a gay club we were going to tonight. A lot of straight guys aren’t secure enough to go into a gay club, and I wondered what Dylan’s reaction was going to be.
I didn’t have to wonder for long. “It’s been a while since I’ve been to a gay club,” Dylan said once we were inside.
“Oh, so you knew this was a gay club?” I asked, relieved.
“Well, even when a place is named something as subtle as The Fireman’s Pole, I am excellent at deducing things,” Dylan said. Hannah laughed and pulled him to the bar. I grabbed Eric’s arm and we followed them.
We got our drinks and looked around for a table. We found a round booth in a corner, and we settled in for the night. We sat around sipping our drinks for a few minutes, chatting happily about nothing. I looked over at the dance floor longingly.
The dance floor didn’t have anyone on it yet since it was only nine on a Saturday. I looked at Eric. “Dance with me?” He nodded, grabbing my hand and downing his drink. I did the same, then followed Eric happily to the dance floor. We danced like we weren’t the only two people on the dance floor. We danced ridiculously and energetically to a Lady Gaga song, then I ground up against him during a sexy song. I looked over at Hannah and Dylan in the corner, beckoning them to the dance floor with my pointer finger. Hannah tugged at Dylan’s sleeve, and he followed her with a heavy sigh, stopping at the edge of the dance floor and dancing timidly. I laughed at Dylan’s awkwardness and turned back to Eric.
“So anything new and exciting in your life?” I asked Eric, desperate for all the information I was missing from months of no contact. “Anyone new and exciting in your life?”
Eric shook his head. “Not really. Just seeing some guys here and there, but nothing serious. You know me, anything gets too serious and I bail.”
A wry smiled twisted my mouth. I didn’t want to come on too strong so quickly after we’d renewed our friendship by nagging, but Hannah and Eric were so similar- they never let any relationship go long enough to get serious. I really can’t talk, because my longest serious relationship was seriously abusive, and the one really wonderful relationship I’d had, I’d sabotaged.
“How about you?” Eric asked loudly so I could hear him over the music.
I shrugged. “It’s complicated. I just got a restraining order against my old boyfriend, then chased away my new boyfriend with my insecurities.” Eric looked at me sympathetically and I said, “Yeah. But I’m forgetting about all of that tonight. Tonight we dance!”
Hannah led Dylan next to Eric and me and we all danced together for hours. More and more people filtered onto the dance floor as we grooved to the beat, inspiring people to join us. I got lost in the euphoria of the loud music, the dancing, and being around my friends, smiling widely the whole time and never wanting the night to end.
I got pretty hot while we were dancing, and I had to leave the dance floor to get some water. I went to the bar and ordered some water and a beer from the bartender. I leaned back against the bar, staring out into the club. Hannah and Dylan were out there grinding on each other. Dylan whispered something into Hannah’s ear and she threw her head back, laughing heartily. Eric was now dancing with a tall blonde who looked like Eric from True Blood. I giggled to myself tipsily at the idea of Eric dancing with Eric.
I turned back to the bar and put some money on the bar for the bartender, grabbing my drinks and heading back to the dance floor. “May I cut in?” I asked Hannah, who detached herself from Dylan and turned to the nearest guy and started dancing with him instead. I smiled at Dylan’s small frown, which he quickly reeled in when he saw me smiling at him.
“So is that a thing now?” I asked Dylan. His eyes shot back to me quickly. I raised an eyebrow and smiled at him as we swayed together.
“No thing, we’re just friends,” Dylan insisted. I nodded, dropping it, and turned around with my hands raised, swaying to the sexy song. They could deny it all they wanted, but they were into each other. I was just going to have to convince Hannah that she could be with Dylan and not hurt him. I turned back around and gave Dylan a dazzling smile. He smiled back and shook his head at me. I would start that ball rolling another day.
I was starting to get really tired now, so I excused myself and went back to our table. I sat there with my beer, sipping it slowly as I happily watched my friends. I yawned and looked down at my phone, checking the time. It was midnight now, and I’d been awake since six this morning. I needed to get home and go to bed before I fell asleep at the club.
I walked over to Eric, who was getting another drink at the bar, and gave him a big hug. “I’m wiped. I need to go home.”
He pouted. “Are you sure? The club is open until two.”
I nodded. “Yeah. I’m tipsy and exhausted. I promise we’ll do a hangover hangout tomorrow though. Call me as soon as you wake up in the morning.”
He nodded and gave me another hug. “Do you want a ride home?”
“No, I’ll walk. Besides, I don’t think you should be driving now anyway.”
“You’re right. I’m definitely going to need a cab,” Eric said. “I’ll call you in the morning, chickadee.”
I waved goodbye at Eric and looked around for Hannah and Dylan. I found them in a corner of the dance floor. They were too lost in each other to do much more than wave quickly back at me as I waved goodbye, and I left the bar.
It was a beautiful, clear night. The bar wasn’t too far from my place, so I decided to walk home, despite the pain from my ill-advised shoes. I breathed deeply, inhaling the salty ocean air and feeling happier than I had been in a long time. I walked down the sidewalk with a spring in my step, turning down a dimly lit street. I usually avoided walking anywhere that wasn’t well lit, because the sad truth is that just being a woman out alone at night makes you vulnerable. I had my pepper spray, though, and this shortcut would take twenty minutes off my walk. I wanted to minimize the time spent in these high heels.
I walked quickly, my mind on high alert. The fuzziness from the alcohol had worn off by now, and I was paranoid about every sound I heard. The hairs on my arms stood up and I glanced around, panicking. I was alone on the street. I chided myself for being such a wimp and reminded myself that I only had about fifty more feet until I hit another well-lit street. I walked along, shaking off the feeling that I was being watched.
“Hello, Jamie,” a familiar voice said, and all the breath was knocked out of me as I was shoved to the ground. “Do you know how fucking long I’ve been waiting to talk to you?”
Derek. Panic welled in my chest and I screwed up my face, preparing to scream as loud as I could. Derek had me pinned down and slammed a hand roughly over my mouth, gripping so tightly I couldn’t speak, let alone scream.
“Oh no, sweetheart, you can’t go running off and telling the police on me now. Do you know how much you hurt my feelings with that restraining order bullshit? After everything I’ve done for you? After everything you’ve put me through? Oh, you’re going to know EXACTLY how much you hurt me,” Derek panted. His hands moved up my thighs, ripping the side of my dress open. I whimpered, struggling to break free, but his hand shot up to my neck, squeezing tightly and slamming my head down on the hard ground. I saw stars and went limp. I stopped struggling, hoping this would deter him. It only seemed to encourage him though, so I started fighting him again. It was no use- he was too strong.
Derek’s hand went back down to my thigh and continued to tug my dress up, revealing my lacy panties. “Oh, you knew I was coming, didn’t you, you little slut? Did you wear these just for me? I’m going to remind you of what you’re missing, and by the time I’m done, you’re going to be begging me for more.” His breathing was rough as he unzipped his pants
and stroked himself. Tears welled in my eyes and I screwed them shut, preparing myself for the worst.
Suddenly, the pressure on my neck and lower body was gone. I opened my eyes and saw Rocket taking a chunk out of Derek’s leg. I sat up, staring dazedly at the scene: Derek howling in agony, Rocket snarling and snapping his teeth at Derek, and Logan rushing to my side. I looked into Logan’s concerned face with confusion, feeling incredibly dizzy, and then everything went black.
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
I woke up with a massive headache and a wicked case of cotton mouth. I blinked at the unfamiliar fluorescent lighting. It took a few seconds for me to register that I was in a hospital bed. I looked to my right, where Logan was sitting with his head down, texting someone. He was still in his running gear.
“Hey,” I croaked. I cleared my throat, trying again. “Hey,” I said, speaking more clearly this time. Logan’s head shot up and he moved to my side, grabbing my hand. He stroked my forehead with his other hand. Logan looked down at me, searching my face, and concern creased his brow.
“Don’t try to talk. You got choked pretty badly, so your windpipe is a little bruised. You’re going to be fine, baby, I promise.” He leaned down and brushed a gentle kiss on my eyebrow. I closed my eyes, tears welling in them again as I remembered the night. The initial shock was over, and everything was rushing back to me all at once. Tears streamed down my face freely. Logan climbed into bed with me and bundled me into his arms, and I sobbed into his chest. We stayed like that for a long while. Soon the sobs softened into cries, with an occasional hiccup thrown in the mix. I silenced myself after a while and laid there in Logan’s arms, thinking.
I tried to ask Logan how the hell he had been there during the attack, but nothing coherent came forth. I frowned and pointed at his cell phone, which he handed over to me. I typed out “How did you know I was there???” and looked at him pointedly.
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