Flawlessly Flawed

by Amelia Shea

  “Dammit, Cass.” T’s arm gripped her waist and caught her from falling. “If you need help, fucking ask. Being stubborn only gets you hurt, for fuck’s sake.”

  “I thought I was fine,” she retorted. He scooped her into his arms and kicked the door shut behind him as he walked to the house.

  “You’re not fine; you’re in pain. Fucking say something next time.” His tone was loud and Cassie recoiled.

  She didn’t say anything. The only thing she wanted to say was to tell him to shut up and quit being a jerk. However, she didn’t think that would go over well so she kept her mouth shut.

  Stone grabbed the keys from T, unlocked the door, and held it open as T walked inside. The lights flicked on and she looked around the living room. It was small. A couch, a recliner, and small coffee table were in the center of the room. He had a huge TV and entertainment center that looked new. Everything else was older but neat. He set her on the couch and Stone dropped her bag by the table.

  “Gotta go, man. I’ll check in with Bogs, see what he’s got and call you tomorrow.” Stone looked over at Cassie and then back at T. “You good?”

  “Yeah,” T responded.

  “Night, Cassie, hope you feel better tomorrow,” Stone said with a smile.

  She smiled back. “Thanks.”

  He turned around and left her alone with T. He was leaning against the doorframe, looking uneasy. Probably wasn’t a fan of strange women invading his man cave.

  “So, ummm…what now?”

  She couldn’t read his face. He wasn’t mad. That expression she knew all too well. This was different, almost thoughtful. Cassie leaned back in the couch feeling slightly exposed under his stare, as if he was trying to see something in her.

  “What? Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked awkwardly.

  “How come you came here?”

  “Uhhh…you told me I was coming here.”

  “You could have told me to fuck off.”

  Cassie smirked at the idea of telling him to fuck off. She sighed and gave him the truth. “Honestly? My family. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, I love them but…” She huffed. “I’m the youngest, the baby in the family, and they all worry about me.” She let out a short laugh. “I’m twenty-four but I think they still think of me as being only four, ya know.”

  “You got your shit together, a job, an apartment. Why worry?”

  “Well, my brother and sister, they’re seven and five years older than me, and they both are married with kids, completely established in their careers. That’s what my mom and dad want for me.”

  “To be married?”

  Cassie shrugged. “I guess. So anyway, if I called my dad and told him what happened, he’d be here in an hour carting me back home. The less they know about the bad, the less they worry. And…” She stopped.

  “And?”

  “I don’t know…I guess I knew I’d be safe here. With you.”

  He stared down at her. His eyes made a sudden change. If she had blinked, she might have missed it but she saw it. The way his eyes slightly twitched then widened, he was surprised by her admission that she felt safe with him.

  “You are safe here with me.” He nodded. “I’ll order a pizza and then we’ll get the gash on your face cleaned up.”

  She smiled. “Okay.”

  He turned around and walked out of the room.

  * * * *

  “Owww…” Cassie flinched from the alcohol-drenched cotton ball T was holding.

  “Gotta clean it or it’ll get infected. Fucking relax.”

  “Relax? It hurts and burns. I think I’ll take my chances with an infection.” She grabbed his wrist as he came forward.

  She was sitting on the counter in the bathroom. She told T she could clean it herself but he insisted, dragging her up the stairs to his small bathroom and lifting her up to where she now sat.

  “Cass, stop being a baby.” He rolled his eyes.

  “I’m not being a baby. It hurts. Stop being a jerk.”

  T raised his eyebrows and his arms dropped to the counter, caging her in. “I’m trying to help you and I’m a jerk?”

  Cassie looked away. He was right, he was helping her, and it needed to be done. She put her hands in her lap and nodded. “Okay, sorry. Go ahead.”

  He picked up the cotton ball, added more alcohol, and dabbed the cut just beneath her eye. She closed her eyes tightly and winced at the stinging. She took deep breaths trying to concentrate on anything but the burn. Suddenly, she felt a cool breeze over her cut and the sting dissipated.

  She slowly opened her eyes to see him blowing on her cut. Their eyes locked and she drew herself closer to him. The gesture was sweet and caring and so not T. Her body leaned into his and for a brief second she saw it in his eyes. Softness mixed with something else. Desire maybe?

  Abruptly, he stepped back. “Get in bed, I’ll clean this shit up.” He threw the cotton balls in the garbage and put the alcohol under the sink before walking out.

  What the hell?

  She heard him walk down the steps but didn’t see him when she came out of the bathroom. She turned into her room, his guest room. It was small with a double bed and a dresser. She closed the door and opened her bag.

  Too much had already happened today. She was not going to think about the bathroom incident. She felt the desire and she saw it in his eyes—he wanted her too. She was too tired, she just needed to sleep. Unfortunately, alone. She unzipped her bag and flipped it open. She froze.

  She reached into the bag and pulled out the picture that lay on top of her stuff. It was her family picture from Christmas. He had packed it in her bag for her. She smiled. He made sure she had her picture. She hugged it close to her chest.

  Chapter 11

  THE sound of his cell had T rolling over and reaching for the nightstand. It was still early, the sun not fully shining through the curtains. He rubbed his eyes and leaned on his elbow. It was way too early.

  “Yeah,” he answered.

  “Heard you’re playing house with baker girl. Nice!”

  “What do ya want?” T growled.

  Bogs laughed. “Need you in by nine, we got a lead on Jimmy. Need to move fast though.”

  “I’ll be there. Later.” T went to end the call when he heard Bogs yell, “T?”

  “What?”

  “Bringing baker girl?”

  “Why?”

  “Tell her to make some brownies, that shit was awesome!”

  T hung up not even bothering to answer Bogs, the fucking dumbass. He had to admit that her brownies were the best he’d ever had but they were for him, not Bogs. That asshole needed to find his own girl to make him shit. This wasn’t the first time he thought of her as ‘his girl’ but it was the first time he didn’t berate himself for thinking it. He had spent the last weeks denying to himself and everyone around him that Cassie was special, that she meant something to him. But little by little, just by being her, she crept her way into his mind, his heart, and now he was ready for her to be in his life.

  T threw on jeans, opting to stay shirtless. The jeans were only a courtesy for Cassie; usually he only wore his boxers. Passing through the tiny hallway, he saw her door open and empty.

  After using the bathroom he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks. He watched her move around his kitchen as if she were meant to be there. She was mixing something in a bowl and had a bunch of shit on the counter. She was humming a song he couldn’t quite place but somehow sounded familiar.

  “What are you doing?” His voice was gravelly, still waking up. He looked over to see the coffeepot full.

  Cassie jumped in surprise, spinning around quickly. She put her hand to her heart and smiled.

  “Jeez, for a big guy, you sure are quiet. Nearly made me jump out of my skin.”

  T walked over to the coffee. “It’s my house.”

  Cassie blushed and w
ent back to stirring something in the bowl. T watched her in her tight pants and loose T-shirt. If he had to guess, she wasn’t wearing a bra. He liked that a lot. His eyes focused on her ass, small and round and imagined squeezing it as he fucked her. His dick hardened at the thought and he adjusted himself. This chick made him feel like a teenager getting his first boner.

  “I’m making brownies, hope you don’t mind me rifling through your kitchen.” Her smile was slightly guarded as she looked up at him.

  He shook his head and peered over his coffee mug.

  She gave him an open smile and turned back to the stove. “Great, because I’m making omelets too.”

  Placing his mug on the counter, he walked up behind her, towering over her small frame. He felt her tense when his chest touched her back. He reached out and gripped her hips. She pushed back into him. His dick immediately reacted.

  “Looks good,” he whispered. He noticed her hand tighten on the spatula and she gasped.

  “How ya feeling?”

  “Better.” She purred the word.

  T smiled to himself. Cassie reacted exactly the way he wanted. His thumbs ran circles over her hips. This slow seduction game they were playing was driving him crazy. But not now, man. She needs time and you need to give it to her.

  Clearing his head, he squeezed her waist once more before stepping back and heading into the living room. He grabbed the remote and turned on the news, watching for a few minutes, calming himself and his hard-on.

  Much calmer, he went back to the kitchen. His heart pumped with fury as he saw her. What the fuck was she doing? Cassie was standing on her toes on the counter fiddling with the top shelf. One slip of her foot and she’d fall off, probably hurting herself in the process.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” It came out harsher than he intended but fear for her safety had him reacting. He rushed over, gripped her waist and pulled her down, glaring at her.

  “I couldn’t reach the top shelf,” she said, as though that answer should explain it.

  “Then fucking ask, don’t climb the counter like a fucking monkey. You could have fallen and cracked your head open,” he shouted.

  Cassie scowled. “Why do you curse so much?”

  Taken aback, he asked, “What?”

  “You curse a lot.”

  “And?”

  “You just use the F word a lot.” She shrugged.

  “The F word? What are you, five?” He began to calm watching her grow angry.

  She glared at him. “What, because I don’t curse, I’m a kid?”

  “You had no problem using the F word,” he teased, “when you were ripping me a new one in the parking lot at Stone’s party.”

  “You deserved it.” She huffed.

  “Didn’t know there were rules for using the word fuck?” T held his scowl but inside he was laughing. She was so damn cute when she got angry, and she was getting very angry. He watched her body tense.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “We’re fighting about your hatred of the word fuck.”

  “Not here.” Pointing down to the ground, she shook her hand between them. “Here, you and me, what’s going on? I mean, I get that I need a place to stay and it’s not safe at my apartment, but you’ve got to explain to me what’s happening here, because this back and forth? You’re nice to me one minute and yelling at me the next. My head is about to explode, T. And last night with Jimmy? What was that? He made me call you. Why? And what about Tina? You’re with her for weeks then she gets sent to the slammer and now you’re all…you know…touching me and kissing me.”

  He leaned back against the wall folding his arms. He didn’t want to tell her any of the Jimmy shit or the Tina situation. Not yet at least, but he had to give her something.

  “You kissed me.”

  “God, you are such a jerk!” She threw down the potholder she had clutched in her hand and started toward the door, stomping her feet. T was waiting for smoke to come out of her ears she was so mad. Before she could get through the doorway, he grabbed her hips, sliding her body into his. Her back pressed against his chest. He lifted her as she wiggled and sat in the chair, situating her on his lap.

  “Let go of me, I don’t like you right now.”

  T smiled. “Why don’t ya like me?”

  “Because you said, ‘You kissed me,’ like you didn’t want to kiss me back or something,” she shouted in a ridiculously deep, mocking voice.

  T burst out laughing. “Fuck, is that what I sound like?”

  She wiggled her arms harder but he didn’t let go.

  “Cass, if I didn’t want you to kiss me, I wouldn’t let it happen.”

  “Yeah, whatever.”

  “I haven’t made out with a girl since I was eighteen. Vanessa something, wanted to give me something to remember her by the night before I left for boot camp.”

  “So, she gave you a kiss?”

  T snorted. “Among other things.”

  “Ugh, you’re gross, let me go.”

  T laughed. “Pix, what I’m trying to say is that I don’t kiss. Haven’t done it since I was a teenager. The women I’ve been with weren’t looking to make out. Neither was I. You ever see me kiss Tina?”

  T watched as she shook her head.

  “Right, because I never did. Fucking, that was it, that’s all it ever was with Tina and any woman I had. Kissing is intimate, it’s different, it means something. I never wanted that with anyone.”

  “You let me kiss you.”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  T could feel her body relax into his. He still held on. He wasn’t letting go of her yet. Not when she felt so right. He watched her bend down and immediately felt her touch on his arms, soft and gentle, lightly swirling her fingers on one of his tattoos.

  Leaning in closer, he pressed his lips onto the skin at the nape of her neck. He could feel her quiver under his lips. Breathing in her flowery apple scent, he kissed a line up her neck.

  The blast from a timer had her jerking in his arms. Pressing one last kiss behind her ear, he whispered, “Better get that.”

  She slowly untangled herself from his grip, not looking back at him, and walked to the oven.

  “So Tina?

  T sighed and leaned back in his chair.

  “Few weeks back, got a job. Dealer jumped bail, we were called in to get him and bring him in. Usually an easy job. This time it wasn’t. Guy was like a fucking ghost. Decided to use a different angle, needed to get close to the person he was closest to and get him. Jimmy was the mark. Tina being closest to him, I got close to her.”

  “Yeah, very close. So you weren’t really with her? It was just a job?”

  He nodded, not saying a word, just surveying her reaction.

  “You used her?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Oh.” He could tell her mind was going to a place he didn’t want it to go.

  “Look, Tina didn’t give a shit about me. To her I was just a cock, as much as she was just a job to me. I was never into her.”

  “Uh, you were into her. Literally.”

  T rolled his eyes. This was not going the way he wanted. “You know what I mean.”

  “So, you’re what, like a bounty hunter?”

  “I am a bounty hunter.”

  There was silence.

  “Just doing my job, Cass. Didn’t want to be with her.”

  She looked over at him, her eyes showing a little hurt but she wore a tight smile.

  “So, I just got mixed into this job too, right, being her roommate?”

  “Yeah. Tried to keep you out of it, Cass.”

  “Hmm….is that why you said what you said that morning? When Tina lost her shit thinking I was trying to hit on you? You said, ‘What would I do with that?’ Is that why you were cruel? To keep me out of it?”

  His body tensed. “I was trying to calm her the fuck down.” He knew he’d hurt her with his words. It had
ripped him apart seeing that look on her face. But he had no choice, Tina would have fucking destroyed her.

  Cassie shrugged. “It was still mean. You hurt my feelings.”

  T could feel the heat rise in his face. This conversation was pissing him off.

  “What the fuck? Should I have let her beat your ass?”

  She didn’t reply and poured the bowl of whatever into a pan and popped it in the oven. She hit buttons on the microwave and washed her hands. With a frown on her face, she walked through the kitchen and halted at a soft, yelping sound. She turned to T who was sipping his coffee.

  “What was that?” she asked.

  T got up and gestured for her to follow him, which she did. He opened the mudroom door and she squealed so loud in his ear she might have done damage.

  “Puppies!” she exclaimed, and pushed past him.

  She kneeled down on the floor and the two fuzzballs jumped all over her. She picked the brown one up and hugged him close while scratching his head. She lifted him to her face and giggled when he licked her chin. T tried to suppress his smile but he couldn’t. The sound of her laugh was too sweet.

  She looked up at him beaming. “You have puppies!”

  T shook his head. “No, they’re Stone’s.”

  She looked confused.

  “Stone got them for Sadie as a wedding present. Actually, her present is a house but it’s not done yet so they’re here for the next two weeks.”

  “Oh, my God, they’re so friggin’ cute, I can’t take it.” She grabbed the white one who seemed thrilled for her affection.

  “They’re a pain in the ass.”

  “No, they’re not.” She leaned in and kissed them on the head, and her voice changed to baby talk. “They are just the cutest things ever.”

  “You think so, then you can take care of them.”

  “Absolutely!”

  She smiled brightly up at him from the floor. The puppy in her arms continued to lick her face while the other started to climb up her leg. She laughed and grabbed the other one with her hand, cradling both of them to her chest.

  “Hey.”

  T watched her look up at him, all traces of anger and hurt gone.

  “I didn’t mean it.” T stood staring down at her, wanting to say more but couldn’t find the words. He rarely apologized for anything, he stood by his actions and the things he said. But he was sorry for hurting her and he needed to say it.