The Kylie Ryans Series: Girl with Guitar, Girl on Tour, Girl in Love (extended edition)

by Caisey Quinn

  She’d given Trace Corbin all of herself. Every single thing she had. Her body. Her heart. Her soul. All he could give her was a kiss on the head and a weak-ass apology. And he’d walked away. Left her alone to deal just like her father had.

  “I got it,” she heard someone say just before a loud click alerted her that the door had been opened.

  “Jesus,” a muffled voice said. It came from behind her. Kylie rolled over and looked up into four worried faces. Two of the people worked for her. Chaz, her manager, and Maude, her new agent…well, for now. She was also Trace’s agent, and Kylie didn’t want to be associated with anyone linked to him in any way. Which was why she wasn’t answering his sisters’ texts or calls. Well, that and she had absolutely nothing to say. To anyone. The other two people in her apartment were Mia Montgomery and Steven Blythe. What the hell they were doing here, Kylie had no idea. She mentally kicked herself for not locking the damned bolt latch. She’d have to remember that in the future.

  “Go away.” She rolled over so her back was to them. She wasn’t on tour, wasn’t scheduled for studio time, and didn’t have any more phone interviews with radio stations that she knew of. She’d done everything that had been asked of her. Now she just wanted to be left the hell alone.

  “Kylie, you need to get up, sweetie.”

  Mia “I don’t even fucking like you” Montgomery calling her sweetie did make her look back. The sympathy in Mia’s face set off the deep pang in her chest she was getting used to. She’d seen the article, too, then.

  Kylie sat up, hugging her pillow to her and watching them eye her warily, as if she were a cornered animal about to jump up and attack. Or flee for her life. She didn’t have the energy for either. “Okay, I’m up.” Her voice was weak and scratchy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d said a full sentence out loud. Her mouth tasted like she’d been eating raw sewage for a week.

  “Good news,” Chaz piped up with way too much pep in his voice.

  She cut her eyes in his direction. “I can hardly wait.” She would’ve forced a smile. But she just…couldn’t. She couldn’t make her eyes or her face or her body do much of anything.

  “So, Maude got a special package for you this morning!” He bravely took a step closer. “And we knew you weren’t, um, feeling well. So we brought it over.”

  Her eyelids were heavy and sore from all the crying. It felt like someone was trying to push her eyeballs out of her head from the inside. She was getting a headache trying to keep them open. Sighing loudly, she closed them for a second. “Okay. What is it?”

  “It’s from Capital, Kylie,” Maude informed her. “Capital Letter Records wants to sign you. They’re going to take care of the album, the publicity, everything. This is it, what we’ve been waiting for.”

  She opened her eyes. All she could do was stare at them as the words tried to break through the thick fog surrounding her mind.

  “Come on, Kylie. Say something,” Chaz pleaded.

  She looked at the packet Maude held out. “Wow. Yay, ” she sing-songed softly. She tried to smile. She really did. But her mouth was dead set against it.

  “Jesus Christ.” Mia shook her head and began giving orders. “Steven, go get a pizza or some of those subs from that Italian deli down the street.”

  He shot Kylie a sad smile. “Congratulations, Ryans. You deserve this.” He nodded at her and turned to leave. His words twisted in her head. You deserve this. You deserve to hurt like this. You were never good enough for him. It’s your fault he had to go into rehab. He never loved you. That’s why he never said he did. He’s with her now. She swallowed and tried to nod back. That wasn’t what he meant. He meant the recording contract. She closed her eyes again.

  “Call me when you’ve signed them all and I’ll take them to Capital. They’re already planning your signing party so, um, maybe take a shower and go shopping.” Maude set the thick stack of paper down on the coffee table, covering the magazine that lay open. She was a no-bullshit kind of lady—this Kylie knew and respected. So she wasn’t surprised when the woman shook her head and left without saying goodbye. Like everyone else had.

  Chaz leaned over and kissed her on top of the head. The familiar gesture sliced into her and she winced. “It’s going to be okay, sweetheart. Get some rest. Call me soon so we can talk about what’s next, okay?”

  She went through the exhausting steps of telling her lungs to breathe, her heart to beat, and her head to nod. People got nervous when you went catatonic. She didn’t need or want any more unnecessary attention.

  After Chaz left, it was just her and Mia. The girl stood in the middle of Kylie’s living room. “You’re a mess, you know that?”

  “Thanks for noticing.” Her throat was so tight from lack of use it hurt to swallow. She hugged her pillow and curled onto her side.

  “Are you kidding me right now?” Mia’s eyes bulged as stepped closer. “You just got a signing offer from the biggest damned label in Nashville. I know you, Kylie. I know how hard you worked for this.”

  “Lots of people work hard, Mia. Doesn’t mean we always get what we want.” She understood what he meant now.

  “This is effing ridiculous. Seriously. You’re pissing me slap off. If Trace needed to go into rehab, then good for him. If he chose to be with that train-wreck of a woman who doesn’t have half your talent or drive, then fuck him. But this isn’t about him.” Mia gestured at the papers on the table.

  His name was a sledgehammer to her heart. But Kylie didn’t flinch. She just took it. Welcomed the pain even. At least it was something.

  “Don’t do this,” Mia pleaded, lowering herself onto the coffee table across from her, sliding the contract to the side as she did so. “Don’t give it all up, everything you’ve dreamed of, worked for. Not for this. Not for him.”

  Kylie clutched her pillow tighter. “You don’t understand.”

  “No, you don’t understand. This is a once-in-a-lifetime deal. Shit happens. Life is tough. But you’re stronger than this. Or you damn well better be.”

  Kylie shook her head. “I tried to be. I tried to—”

  “You tried to what, Oklahoma? Tried to make a name for yourself and now you have so you’re going to throw it in the fucking garbage? I know that sounds harsh, and maybe it is. Maybe I’m being unfair to you because…” Now it was Mia’s turn to shake her head. Her gaze began to drift off somewhere else, but Kylie was losing her patience.

  “Because why?”

  “How much did Trace tell you about me?” Mia asked, catching her off guard.

  “Nothing really.”

  Mia took a deep breath and glanced down at her hands. “I’ll start at the beginning then.”

  “The beginning of what?” Kylie breathed in as deeply as she could stand. She really just wanted the woman to leave her the hell alone already.

  “How I got here, to American Idol, then on the tour…and why I kind of hate you most of the time.”

  “Awesome. Can’t wait to hear it,” Kylie deadpanned.

  Mia shot her a sad smile. It was the first time Kylie noticed how vulnerable she seemed. Vulnerable was not an adjective she ever thought she’d use to describe Mia Montgomery. “I didn’t grow up in a great situation.” Kylie realized she’d been holding her breath so she let it out slowly as Mia continued. “My mom ran off when I was just a baby and my dad was…not a good man. As in, he makes Lily’s dad look like a saint. When I was three, he went to jail for beating a man nearly to death in a bar. He’s still there. My grandma raised me. My mom’s mom. We didn’t have much. Sometimes people from the church helped out, made sure we had food and that I had clothes to wear…but it was…rough.”

  “Jesus,” Kylie said softly. Okay, this was not what she’d been expecting. At all.

  Mia shrugged and took another deep breath. “My gran and me saved every penny we could to afford my plane ticket to LA to try out for American Idol. When I won, I thought I’d made it, you know?”

  Kylie nodded.<
br />
  “But it wasn’t like that. I could only do the things allowed in my contract, and the gigs I wanted to take weren’t permitted. The tour with Trace was supposed to be what launched my career, but everyone hated me. I mean hated me.”

  Yeah, she had heard about her getting booed, and she knew first hand how badly that could hurt. “Bet that was tough to take,” was all she could think to say.

  “Yeah, it was.” Mia’s eyes went dim. “My gran died two weeks into the tour. I’d just been booed off stage when Trace found me crying on the bus. He said some things I needed to hear but didn’t want to.”

  “Sorry about your grandma.” Kylie really was sorry. She knew exactly what it was like when someone died on you, taking your whole world with them. “What did he say?” she whispered, hoping it wouldn’t kill her to hear that he’d kissed Mia or something to make her feel better.

  Mia shrugged. “Just that I needed to take a step back, deal with my Gran’s death, and work on my sound. I couldn’t sing a pop cover, then a country cover, then an original song of mine that no one knew all in the same set. And I couldn’t keep letting the way other people felt about me reduce me to a sobbing mess of a human being every time things didn’t go my way.”

  She didn’t know whether to smile or cry. Sometimes Trace could be pretty amazing. Like he was with his sisters. Like he was with her. “He’s not perfect but he’s… he was something special. To me, anyways,” she finished with a slight lift of her shoulder, shrugging as if the permanent lump in her throat wasn’t choking her to death. She didn’t want to talk about him too much or the missing him would tear another jagged hole into her heart. “You ended up on the tour, so things worked out. Right?”

  “I’m getting to that.” Mia’s eyes narrowed and Kylie sensed that something bad was coming. Something that might be worse than her own pain. Or damn close to it. “After burying my gran and breaking my contract with Idol for personal reasons, which obviously started a ton of rumors, I was broke. Not like surviving-on-Ramen-noodles broke, like lost-the-house, living-in-the-car broke.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously,” Mia answered. “I did some things I’m not proud of to get by. And I did get by. I even got a manager finally who helped me get a job cleaning hotel rooms at a place that let me rent a room for cheap.”

  The pain in Mia’s usually strong, steady voice was rattling Kylie’s nerves. Hard. She’d thought she’d had it rough, but her life was a walk in the park compared to what Mia was describing. “Mia, I’m sorry you had to—”

  The woman across from her waved a hand, cutting her off. “That’s not the point. I’m not looking for your sympathy, Oklahoma. The point is I finally got an audition with the Vitamin Water people about the Road Trip tour. And then my manager called and said they’d picked me. And that if it went well, I’d probably get a record deal. I hadn’t eaten anything other than the pizza I’d been living off of for a week, and I had literally eleven dollars and forty cents to my name.” Her voice was thick, and Kylie felt tears welling in her own eyes. “I thought I’d finally made it, you know? That I’d be okay and that my gran was watching over me and it was all going to work out.”

  Kylie nodded her understanding. She’d felt the same way when she’d finally got hired at the Rum Room when she was broke and about to be homeless.

  “But then a week later I got a call saying they were very sorry to have to tell me, but a new up-and-comer had been chosen instead. They were going in a different direction. Your direction,” she finished.

  The bottom of Kylie’s stomach gave out and the room began to spin. She sat up straight and tried to steady herself. “Oh shit. Mia. I swear to God, I didn’t know it was you.” Her hand rose to her mouth. Probably to hold back the bile rising up from her stomach.

  “Right,” the other woman said, raking her eyes over her as she spoke. “So you didn’t contact Trace about rushing to record that song you guys wrote together so the Vitamin Water people would pick you instead? Because you saw me with him at your party and got jealous?”

  Panicked shame made her head throb. She shook her head and tried to concentrate on answering. “No. I mean, yes, I did go see Trace about that song. A lot was going on and we had to talk and I—”

  “It doesn’t matter,” Mia interrupted. “What matters is you got your way, right? You got them to scrap me and go with you. Luckily Lauryn McCray got pregnant and I was offered the spot she left open.”

  “Mia…” Kylie wanted to reach out, to hug the girl, apologize. Maybe even beg for forgiveness. But Mia stood, obviously ready for this mushy over-share to end.

  “Forget it. It is what it is. And even if you had known, would you have done anything differently?”

  She wanted to say yes, of course. She would’ve demanded the Vitamin Water people take both of them if she’d known what Mia had been going through. But she was as hungry for this as anyone else. There wasn’t much she wouldn’t do to get it. Back then, anyways. Now a part of her wished she’d stayed as far from Nashville as she could have. But she wasn’t a liar. “I don’t know,” she answered honestly. “But I want you to know it wasn’t personal. I had no idea it was you they’d picked.” She felt like she was being pounded on by the anger in Mia’s eyes. “You don’t have to believe me, but I swear. All I knew was they’d picked someone else and recording that song was the only way to make them choose me.” Oh God. That song. It could come on the radio at any time. Kylie made a mental note to stay the hell away from all radios.

  Mia didn’t say anything, but Kylie thought she saw the fiery rage in her eyes cool a bit. They were the same. Both of them willing to do whatever it took to make it. Something resembling understanding passed between them. She knew they might never be friends, but somehow they weren’t enemies anymore.

  She took a deep breath. Being hollow was a weird feeling. She felt as if she could breathe in forever and never get enough air. Mia continued to glare and Kylie sighed. She’d used up all the energy she’d had left. “I don’t know what you want from me. Just go tell Capital you’ll take my place. Then we’ll be even.”

  Recoiling like she’d been slapped, Mia’s expression ignited like she was thinking about doing some slapping. “I just signed with Electrick Records, thank you very much. Missed you at my signing party, by the way.”

  “Congratulations.”

  “Okay, I get it. You don’t want to talk. I’ll leave the food in your fridge for whenever you snap out of this pity coma you’re in.”

  Kylie could see disgust and disappointment in her stare but she couldn’t bring herself to give two shits about what Mia or anyone else thought. She’d been tough. Been the strong one for long enough. She’d taken everything life had thrown at her and done the best she could to come out tougher on the other side. But enough was enough.

  Mia turned her back and began making her way to the door. She stopped before reaching it. “Can I ask you something?”

  “Long as you close the blinds and turn the lights off first.”

  With an audible huff, she did as Kylie requested. “Kylie…what do you think your daddy would say to you right now?”

  Well that was a cheap shot. Mia couldn’t know, but it just so happened to be the one-year anniversary of her father’s death. She wasn’t just grieving for the loss of one man she’d loved. She was grieving the loss of both of them. “Get out.”

  Mia didn’t budge. “I will. Soon as you answer the question. How do you think he’d feel about this? About you pissing your dreams away over a man?”

  The numbness she’d been mercifully blanketed in began to pitch and roll in waves, pulling back ever so slightly to reveal the exposed nerves. It felt like Mia was tearing her skin off and poking at the wound. “I think it doesn’t matter what he’d say. He’s dead.”

  “You don’t get off on a technicality, Oklahoma. Your daddy is your daddy.”

  “Oh yeah? What would you know about daddies, Mia? When was the last time you saw yours?” Thi
s time Kylie did wince. She didn’t enjoy causing other people pain. She just wanted to be left alone. Was that so much to ask? She was grateful for the darkness so she wouldn’t see Mia’s hurt expression. “Crap. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that.”

  “S’okay. It’s true, right? But here’s what I do know.” Light filled the room as Mia flipped on the lights and crossed the floor to yank the shades back up. “I know this isn’t you. This isn’t the Kylie Ryans I spent the last few months with. So get your ass up and work on getting over it. Before you wake up and realize you have nothing left.”

  The tears came then. Hot and wet down her face and onto her pillow.

  Too late.

  Turn the page for a sneak peek of the sequel, Girl in Love

  What an amazing journey book two in the Kylie Ryans series has been for me. I couldn’t have ever finished this book without the help of some seriously fantastic individuals.

  First of all, I have to thank each and every single blogger, reviewer, reader, and fellow author who contacted me via email, Twitter, Facebook, or GoodReads, to say they loved Girl with Guitar. Your encouragement inspires me to keep doing what I do every day. You are my support, my friends, and have become my family. Sorry, you’re stuck with me now. My Gutter Girls, Tessa, Erica, and Ashley, you are my A-Team and I could cry all over myself just thinking about what your friendship means to me. Thank you for beta reading this one and for promising to be my bodyguards when the threats of physical violence came. Totally taking y’all up on that.

  I can’t even say enough about the sheer appreciation I have for people like Julie at A Tale of Many Reviews, Casey Peeler at Hardcover Therapy, Mickey at I’m a Book Shark, Kristy at Book Addict Mumma, Beth at The Indie Bookshelf, Laura at Between the Pages, Lindi at Inspiration for Creation, Stephanie, Kelly, and Tricia at Romance Addict Book Blog, and all of you who work so tirelessly to promote books and authors like myself. You don’t get nearly enough recognition for what you do and I am so grateful to have such wonderfully talented and generous people in my corner. Big hugs to my dear sweet proofreader Rahab who has eyes like a hawk and a big ol’ heart. I will send you all the country boys I got, girl.