Beaver Dammed: I’m amazing. Are you okay?
Me: Yes, just going to bed.
Beaver Dammed: Mmm, I wish I was in bed with you.
Me: Have you been drinking?
There was a long pause before her next text came in, and I nearly dropped my phone. It was a photo of Easton on her bed, spread eagle in a tiny thong and nothing else.
Beaver Dammed: I miss you.
Me: Easton, have you been drinking?
Beaver Dammed: A little
Me: You should probably get some sleep.
Beaver Dammed: You don’t like me anymore, do you?
Me: That’s not true at all. I just think you’re drunk, and I don’t want you to say or do anything that you wouldn’t when you’re sober
Beaver Dammed: I’m not. I do miss you. I messed up.
Me: Okay, get some rest. If you want to talk tomorrow, you know where to find me.
Beaver Dammed: Ugh, you’re no fun.
Me: I guess not. Night, Easton.
Beaver Dammed: Night, party pooper.
The visual of Easton drunk and acting like a whiny teenager was comical to say the least. As much as I’d been dying for her to tell me she missed me, I didn’t want it like that. I wanted her to be of sound mind if she ever told me that she wanted to be with me.
I decided to keep the picture because, well, a man can only be so resistant to a woman like Easton. And then I spent another sleepless night thinking about Easton. She’d taken over my every thought. I finally got to sleep around five and was woken by incessant banging at the door. I dragged my ass out of bed and opened the door to find a hungover Easton standing there, looking sheepish.
“Are you going to invite me in?”
I snapped out of my shock and stepped back. “Yes, sorry.”
She walked in and spun around to face me. “Why are you ignoring my texts?”
I looked down at myself, wearing only my boxer briefs. “Clearly, I was sleeping, Easton.”
“Oh, so you weren’t ignoring me?”
“Nope, just sleeping. I had a—”
She kissed me without my saying another word.
I pulled back before it could go any further. “Are you sober?”
She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “Yes”
“Listen, I meant what I said last time. I can’t keep—”
“Not this time. I’m always the one listening; well today, I’m talking.” She pointed to the sofa. “Sit down.”
I didn’t hesitate. She seemed serious, and I wasn’t about to mess with her.
She sat across from me and brushed her hand down my cheek. She took a deep breath and let it out. “I don’t know how to do this. I’ve never done a relationship, never had a boyfriend. Fuck, I’ve never dated. I don’t know what I’m doing at all. I’ve done everything I can to push my feelings for you aside because they scare the ever-loving shit out of me. I don’t know how to act when I’m around you.” She sighed. “I’m going to fuck up, and I’m going to need you to be patient.”
We sat there in silence.
She waved her hand in my face. “Were you listening? Are you going to say anything?”
“Shit, sorry, I was just listening like you told me to. I can speak now?” I tried to lighten the mood because I could tell she was way out of her comfort zone.
She slapped my shoulder. “Yes, you may speak.”
“All I’ve ever wanted was for you to try. I’ve known since the first night I met you that we had something extraordinary. I haven’t had a lot of relationships, but I know for sure this is different. We can take it at your pace as long as you want to give it a shot.”
She smiled. “I do.”
“Then let’s do this.”
She jumped into my lap and took my mouth with hers before pulling back. “This part I’ve got down pat.”
I chuckled against her lips, and we made out like middle schoolers on the sofa. I didn’t want things to get too far, so I pulled back and looked into her eyes. “I’m glad we’re doing this. I’ve been miserable without you around.”
“Me too. I think Sadie and Rhian were going to kill me. Joe, too.”
It was nice to know that she’d been unhappy, too. “How about we make some breakfast and coffee?”
“That sounds perfect, but you should get some clothes on before I change my mind and jump your bones.”
We enjoyed breakfast on the balcony and talked a little about how work was going and what we’d been up to this past week.
“So, I was thinking that I’d like to take you out on an official date.”
She looked up from her mug with her big doe eyes in shock. “Umm, all right, I think.”
“Why do you look so scared? I mean, we’ve been on dates just not officially.”
“I guess you’re right. What were you thinking?”
“Well, since this is all new to you, I was thinking bowling since we didn’t get to go last time you wanted to.”
“That I can do for sure. When do you want to do this?”
I was hoping giving her time to prepare would help. “How’s Friday night?”
“I have to wait that long to see you again?” She scrunched up her brows.
I couldn’t help but laugh at her expression; she looked adorable. “Come here.”
She set down her mug and came to sit on my lap.
“No one said anything about not seeing each other until then. I just thought I’d give you time to process everything before we had an official date. I don’t want to push you.”
“I get that, and as much as I appreciate it, I’m a big girl. I can handle this with some patience on your end.” She took my cheeks in her hands and kissed me softly. “How about Tuesday? They have the glow-in-the-dark bowling. It’s kind of cool, and they play pretty awesome music that night, too.”
“Tuesday it is.”
Twenty-Three
Well This Is Awkward
Easton
I’d been ready for a good two hours, and my stomach was rolling. I wasn’t sure why I was so nervous. We’d hung out numerous times; the guy’s seen me naked more times that I can count. But this was different.
I chose Tuesday knowing it would be a really busy night, but the more I thought about it, the more freaked out I got. More people meant more eyes on us. I hadn’t had many sexual partners in my life, but I’d had enough, and I’d never once considered dating one never mind jumping in with both feet like I had with Tanner. Everything was different with him from day one, so I needed to figure out where this would all go.
He was picking me up in a few minutes, and if he didn’t hurry up, I’d probably throw up.
Right on time I heard his car pull up, and I went out before he could even come to the door. He got out and opened my door for me. I wanted to laugh because honestly, I’d only ever seen it in movies. But with Tanner, I should’ve expected it to be just like you’d read about in those romance books that Sadie always read.
I went to get in, but he grabbed me around the waste and pulled me in for a kiss. “You look beautiful.”
I looked down at myself, wondering what he saw that I’d missed. I was wearing ripped jeans and a white tank, and my hair was up in a top knot with not a stitch of makeup on my face. “Umm thanks.”
“I’m not sure why you look so confused; you always look beautiful.” He kissed me again before I climbed into the car and he closed the door behind me.
Butterflies took flight in my stomach, he always seemed to do that to me.
He hopped into the passenger seat and threw the car into reverse, but we didn’t move. Instead, he put it back into park and turned toward me. “Please don’t be nervous. We’re just going bowling and having fun. Just pretend like we’re two friends going to hang out.”
I rolled my eyes. “Yeah, two friends who like to fuck, not quite the same.”
He chuckled. “Exactly, nothing’s changed Easton. I’ve always felt this way about you, and I’m sure you have, too. You�
��ve just finally admitted it. That’s the only difference here. Just relax and have fun.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay, fun I can do.”
I’d relaxed on the drive over but the moment we got out of the car the anxiety skyrocketed again. I didn’t want to have to explain this to anyone, and I knew that was inevitable.
He took my hand. “Just fun.” He then kissed my forehead, and we headed inside.
The place was packed but I tried not to think about it. By the time we’d made it to our lane, I’d said hi to probably fifteen people. But I kept hold of Tanner’s hand, not freaking out. No one said anything and that eased my thoughts a little.
I wasn’t sure what I was so scared of. I mean, no one was going to come up to us and question our relationship. I knew I was being stupid, and even if someone did, it was none of their damn business.
Two games and two drinks down and I was having a great time. I’d allowed my running thoughts to be cleared from my head.
I realized that Tanner had been a little detached. He hadn’t touched me almost the entire time we’d been here. He was smiling and we’d talked the whole time, but he’d kept his distance. I tested it out over the next couple games by kissing him or hugging him. He always hugged or kissed me back, but he never initiated anything.
Maybe I’d pushed him away too much before, but I needed to get to the bottom of it. I stepped in front of him as he took his ball. “Are you all right?”
He smiled down at me. “Yeah, why?” He swept some loose hair behind my ear and softly brushed his hand down my cheek.
I reached up and held it there. “You seem a little withdrawn is all.” I was probably being a stupid girl, and I wanted to roll my eyes at myself.
“Everything’s good. I promise.” He turned and kissed my palm and walked around me to throw his ball before spinning back toward me with a big smile on his face.
I couldn’t leave it at that. “So, I’m just imagining this?”
He sighed and pulled me into him. “Look, I’m just trying to give you space. I knew this was scaring you to be out here. Seeing how many people you know here, I thought it would be easier for you if I steered clear of any PDA so it didn’t make things uncomfortable for you.”
I looked down at my hands, suddenly feeling like an asshole.
He lifted my chin, forcing me to look at him. “I’m sorry. I can see that it’s had the opposite effect on you. My intent was to make you more comfortable and not leave you running for the hills because of me mauling you in public.”
I laughed but it was forced. I didn’t know what to say. It was sweet of him to think of me, but it’d made me feel self-conscious about the situation.
He pulled up my hand to his mouth and kissed my knuckles. “I would love nothing more than to shout it from the rooftops that you’re mine, but until you’re sure on how you want things to play out, I figured leaving things in your court was my best bet. Just know that I’m yours now, and I’m willing to wait until you’re ready to be mine.”
My eyes glistened with unshed tears; I took a deep breath. “I’ve seen Sadie and Rhian get hurt so many times over the years, and I’m terrified of feeling that. My feelings for you are there. They’re real, and they’re strong. I just don’t want to have to endure the pain they’ve experienced.”
“Love hurts is a saying for a reason. There are no guarantees in any relationship, and even the best of them have hurt and sadness. All we can do is give it our all and hope for the best. I want this all to be at your pace, so you set it, and I’ll take your lead. Does that work?”
He waited for my response and it even surprised me. “I don’t want that.”
His brows furrowed. “You don’t want what?”
“I don’t want to take the lead; I’ve never done this, and clearly, I’m not that great at it. I realized with your distance tonight that I want you, and I’m all in.”
The shock registered on his face followed by a huge smile. “You just made me the happiest man alive, Easton; you have no idea. Are you sure?”
I bit my lip and nodded.
He picked me up and twirled me around. It felt good to let go and just roll the dice, not knowing where they’d land. He let me down and gripped my face before kissing me hard, making me weak in the knees.
When I pulled back, I saw some movement out of my peripheral. I turned and found Blaine standing there staring at us. Tanner didn’t miss a beat; he wrapped his arm around me and pulled me in close. I smirked, knowing he was staking his claim.
“Hey Blaine, what’s up?” I didn’t really care, but I was trying to be polite.
He looked between the two of us. “Good.” He nodded toward Tanner. “Who’s this Benny?” He spit out the word Benny like it mattered he wasn’t from around here.
I wanted to roll my eyes at him but refrained. I debated on what to say other than none of your fucking business but not for long. “This is Tanner, my boyfriend.”
Blaine lost the smug look on his face, and it turned to a scowl. “Boyfriend? What happened to I’m not that girl?”
“Tanner happened.”
Tanner reached out his free hand. “Nice to meet you, Blaine.”
Blaine looked down at his hand and shook his head. “Good luck with this one, man. I give it a week.”
Tanner just pulled his hand away, not letting the comment bother him. “Have a great night.” He didn’t wait for a response, just turned me in his arms and kissed me before pulling back. “Boyfriend, eh?” He was smiling from ear to ear.
“All in.” I shrugged.
I kicked the door shut behind me after entering his apartment. I nearly knocked us both over when I jumped into his arms, but he righted us and backed me up against the door, kissing his way down my neck. I was a panting, heaving mess. I needed him, and I needed him right then and there. “I want you, Tanner.”
“You’ve got me, baby.” He continued his slow, teasing kisses, driving me crazy.
I tried to reach down and undo his pants, but I couldn’t reach. “Bedroom now.”
He pulled back and smirked at me. “I believe you told me I was in control.”
Bastard, he was right; I had. I dropped my head back to the door and huffed out in frustration. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d had sex, and the sexual tension had been building between us for weeks now. I wanted him inside me. “Tanner,” I whined.
He chuckled against my neck but started to walk us to the bedroom. He flopped me down onto the bed and stripped out of his clothes as I did the same.
“Fuck, you’re perfect.” His eyes said so much more, and I squirmed under his gaze.
“Come here.” I needed to touch him.
“Always so demanding.” He tsked but instantly obliged, climbing on top of me.
He looked down at me as he hovered over me, sweeping my hair out of my face. “You’re mine?”
I nodded, not able to respond with the lump that had formed in my throat. The emotion in his stare had me choked up.
“Thank God.” He leaned down and kissed me softly, slipping his tongue into my mouth.
I opened instantly. Our tongues danced together as we both took our time. The sense of urgency I’d felt before was replaced by the need to take things slow and savor every moment. I knew this was more than just a one and done; this was definitely more.
I felt his erection as he rubbed it against my folds. I was slick with excitement, ready to feel him inside me. He lifted up and looked into my eyes as he lined himself up and slowly pushed forward. I fought the urge to close my eyes as I gazed into his. I’d never felt a connection like this one, and in that moment, I knew I’d fallen too far for Tanner. There was no coming back from this.
Twenty-Four
Is This Real Life?
Tanner
“How was your day?” Easton asked the moment I walked in the door.
I loved it when she was here before I got home. “Better now that I can do this.” I leaned in to kiss her,
and she pulled me down by my tie.
“I missed you.” She kissed me before I could respond.
It’d been a few weeks since our first date at the bowling alley, and Easton had gotten a lot better at expressing her feelings. It hadn’t been easy for her to transition from friendship to relationship, but I think we were finally there.
“I could really get used to you being here every day.” I smiled as I spoke against her lips.
She kissed me and didn’t stiffen like I assumed she would, so I pulled back, bracing myself, and looked into her eyes before feeling her forehead. “Are you sick?”
“No, why?”
“I basically just brought up your living here in a roundabout way, and you didn’t freak out.”
She burst out laughing and shrugged.
I was shocked. “Is that something you’d want?”
The smile that graced her beautiful face told me the answer before she even spoke. “Maybe…”
“Holy shit, baby, that would be amazing.” I stopped smiling. “Wait, you’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”
“No! I wouldn’t do that.” She paused. “Okay, maybe that does sound like something I would do, but I’m not, I promise.”
I pounced on her and buried my face in her neck. I couldn’t believe this was happening. “You’re serious? For real, no joke?”
She gripped my face and brought it to hers. “Yes,” she said softly as she brought her lips to mine.
“You make me so fucking happy, Easton.”
“As much as it scares the ever-loving shit out of me, I can honestly say that I’ve never felt this happy before.”
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