Making Me Sane (Sanity Book 2)

by Lindsay Paige

  “It’s your dress now,” Jane tells her, which makes Brittany start crying all over again.

  Everyone heads to my house to change into casual clothes before we head to the restaurant.

  “When did you find out what he was up to?” Brittany asks Melissa while we wait for our food to be brought out.

  “Once you told me what Rebecca said, I asked Ben who told me he was interviewing the photographer.”

  “What are you talking about?” I ask. What did Rebecca say?

  “She saw you at lunch with her and told me about it,” Brittany intercepts before Melissa can talk. “That’s all.”

  “You never told me that.”

  She shrugs. “She could’ve been lying, and I didn’t like what she said. I wanted to forget about it. Besides, I trust you.”

  Then it clicks. Rebecca saw me with another woman at lunch and she told Brittany I could be cheating on her. For her to ignore that, not say anything, and continue things as normal with me? She must’ve had little to no doubts about it. That explains her falling out with her friend. As far as I know, they haven’t spoken since.

  “When did you know, Mom?”

  “I believe Trace called us the day he realized what he wanted to do. He asked for our permission and if we thought you’d go for it. I told him I thought you would, especially since he was going to make sure it was the way you wanted based on what you told him.”

  “My biggest worry,” I tell her, “is that I’d overwhelm you into a panic attack with everything that was happening. That, and trying to keep it a secret without stressing you out or pissing you off over being secretive. I was doing okay until right here lately.”

  Brittany shakes her head. “No, you weren’t. The moment you started saying you were working late or couldn’t make dinner with me, I started worrying. It snowballed from there until I couldn’t keep my frustrations to myself anymore.”

  “I’m sorry,” I tell her as I kiss her temple.

  “It’s okay.”

  The waitress drops off our food and conversation moves to the pregnancy. Our parents share stories from our childhoods and we joke to Ben and Melissa that it’s their turn, which gets the girls started on wishing for their kids to be close in age and friends like they are.

  Later, we’re quiet as we drive home. Ben and Melissa went home. Our parents are off to a hotel. We get to spend the night in our house as newlyweds.

  “I think we should look for another house.”

  “Why? I like yours.”

  “Exactly,” I say. “I want one that’s ours. Besides, with a baby on the way, we need more guest rooms.”

  “Or we can buy a couch with a fold-out bed. We have our trip, Thanksgiving, and then Christmas, all while I’m pregnant.”

  “Wouldn’t you rather move into a bigger house now rather than later? What if we have more than one kid? Or what if you’re carrying twins? A two-bedroom house is too small.”

  “Can we talk about it later? You proposed, we got married, and we found out there’s a human inside of me. That’s enough for one day.”

  I laugh. “Or two.”

  She rolls her eyes. “You just better hope a ten-pound baby doesn’t have to come out of me. Like, I can barely imagine giving birth at this point. That’s just pushing it right now.”

  I park in the driveway and run around to open her door. “Want me to carry you inside?”

  “Why are you asking? Of course I do,” she answers as she steps out.

  I hook an arm under her knees and lift her in my arms. She uses her free hands to unlock the door and push it open.

  “Hey, Lily,” she laughs as the dog tries to jump and greet us.

  “We’ll pet you later,” I say to Lily. “Right now, I believe it’s time for me to take my wife straight to the bedroom.”

  “Yes, that sounds like a good idea.”

  I gently set her on the bed. Brittany is already taking her clothes off, so I follow her lead. Once our shirts are off, she grabs my hips and tilts her head back to look at me.

  “Are you happy?”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  “No. I was a little worried to tell you about the baby.”

  “Why?”

  “Because you said maybe, Trace. Maybe is not yes.”

  “I want anything and everything when it comes to you,” I tell her.

  “That’s what I was hoping for.” She smiles.

  I push her shoulders so she lies flat on her back. I lean over her and kiss her stomach. That goofy my-boyfriend-just-did-something-great grin is on her face. Which, I guess now it’s the goofy my-husband-just-did-something-great grin. A grin appears on my own face as I kiss up her torso while I unfasten the button on her shorts. A happy sigh leaves her as her fingers dive into my hair. This is my girl. My wife.

  How can life get any better than this?

  “I can’t do it.”

  “Yes, you can,” Trace replies in that strong, sure voice of his.

  I shake my head vehemently. “I don’t think I can. This is all your fault!” He just had to joke about me having twins, and with my first ultrasound, we found out that I was. Now, I’m supposed to have not one, but two babies come out of me. My panic is at an all-time high. I’m not prepared for this. I can’t do it.

  “Brittany,” the doctor says in a rather loud voice. “I need you to push.”

  “Come on, Britt,” Trace encourages me.

  Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. An agonizing few minutes later, we hear a baby crying and, “Congrats, it’s a girl.”

  “One more time,” Trace tells me while trying to get a sneak peek at our baby girl.

  I take a deep breath and push when the doctor tells me to. I’m so tired, I just want to pass out and sleep for a few days. But then, there’s two crying babies.

  “It’s a boy,” the doctor tells us.

  We decided to wait and find out. We had a pair of girl names, a pair of boy names, and one of each picked out for any situation.

  Trace kisses my forehead before resting his against mine. “You did it,” he smiles.

  Yes, I did. Thank goodness. I was seriously worried for a second there. It’s the first time I’ve almost had a panic attack since I found out I was pregnant. Turns out, pregnancy is very good to me. I’ve felt better than I ever have. We were a bit concerned that my anxiety and depression would worsen with all the hormones raging, but it’s been the opposite.

  A little while later, Trace and I are sitting on my hospital bed in my room with a baby in each arm. Our shoulders are touching and our heads are leaning against one another as we look down at our kids.

  “Look at what we did,” I whisper. “They’re so beautiful.” My heart is bursting with love and I’m so overwhelmed, I’m not sure what to do with myself.

  “Yes, they are,” Trace agrees. He’s holding our girl and she opens her eyes, blinking and staring. “Hey, little Amelia Taylor Lexington,” he says softly. Amelia is named after his mother. “I’m your daddy.” He shifts her toward me. “And this is your mommy, and you already know your brother. We named him Aiden Thomas Lexington.” He kisses her forehead and I start crying. “What is it?”

  “I can’t take how sweet everything is.”

  He smiles. “We’re blessed.”

  “Yeah, we are. I love you.”

  He gives me a kiss. “I love you, too.” Then, he looks at our babies. “And you and you,” he adds, making me giggle.

  A nurse pokes her head into our room. “Ready for visitors?” she asks.

  Has it been a hour already? The staff gave us an hour alone once we moved into our room to spend with the kids before anyone else gets to come in. Trace looks to me.

  “Yeah, we’re ready.”

  She opens the door wider and in comes our parents and Ben and Melissa, who is currently six months pregnant. They ooh and ah over the babies, taking turns holding them while I rest my head on Trace’s shoulder. I can’t believe our lives. From getting married, b
eing promoted, having an amazing time in Italy, spending my first Thanksgiving away from my parents, moving into a bigger house, and now, giving birth to twins.

  This year, we’ll start our own Christmas traditions with them, even though they’re so young, can’t hurt to start now. Our parents will start traveling to us for the holidays. Trace talked me into a five-bedroom house, so there’s enough room for them right now. I wasn’t sure I wanted something so big that I would have to clean, but since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t lifted a finger for any housework. It’s going to suck when Trace starts letting me help out around the house again. But our house is beautiful with a bigger yard for Lily.

  For possibly the first time, I’m looking forward to the future. Used to be, I didn’t like to think too far ahead because it’d freak me out more than anything else, but now I can’t wait to see what’s ahead for us and our children. To think of how far we’ve come, of all we’ve experienced together, and then to have this day, it was easily all worth it.

  I glance down to see Brittany has fallen asleep on my shoulder. She has to be tired. It was a long labor full of emotions. The kids decided to come a week before her due date, and I thought Britt was going to go crazy because she was so ready to have them while also terrified that they were early. These past few weeks have been hard on her. She’s been exhausted.

  Two nurses come in, whispering once they sees Brittany is sleeping, and they take the babies away for a bit.

  “Do y’all need anything?” Jane asks.

  “Nah, we’re okay for now. Thanks. Y’all get some rest and come back in the morning if you want.” It’s like four A.M., and everyone has to be tired. They all wave on their way out.

  Brittany startles awake when the door shuts louder than expected. “Where’d everyone go?”

  “They left for the night. Go back to sleep. I’m sure someone will be in to bother you soon enough.”

  She lifts my arm to wrap it around her shoulders as she tucks herself into my side. “Do you think we’re ready for two babies?”

  I chuckle. “We probably aren’t ready for one.”

  “Trace,” she sort of whines.

  “We might not be ready, but we’re going to be fine. It’s going to be great. Do you know why?”

  “Why?”

  “Because they’re surrounded by people who love them and will do anything for them.”

  “That is true.”

  “I love you. Now, get some sleep.”

  “I love you too.” She rests her head against me.

  We’ve built a great life for ourselves so far. We have everything going for us. Great job, a home, two healthy kids, and most important of all, each other. After everything we’ve been through, we deserve this. Not that bad days aren’t ahead of us, but we were due for a year full of goodness. That’s how the past year has been. Lots of ups and only a few downs.

  Being able to hold my wife after she gave birth to my son and daughter might just be the best thing that’s happened so far. Sure, there are now two people for us to constantly worry about and drive us mad for the rest of our lives, but we can handle it.

  When worse comes to worst, we have each other to make us sane.

  Hey, y’all! As someone familiar with depression and anxiety firsthand, characters who deal with these issues are my favorite to write and one of which I am most passionate about. To learn more about these topics or to learn ways to seek help, consider checking out the websites of the National Institute of Mental Health, Anxiety and Depression Association of America, or the American Psychological Association.

  Never be afraid to ask for help—for yourself or someone you know who needs help.

  Thank you, Kristalyn Thornock. Just thank you.

  Thank you, Heidi Grubb, for taking the time to provide feedback.

  Thank you, Shannon Page, for editing my book and for always being a pleasure to work with. I look forward to working with you again!

  Thank you, Robin from Wicked by Design, for working with me. I can’t say enough how much I love these covers!

  Thank you, Julie from JT Formatting, for taking my book, putting the final touches on it, and making it beautiful. You are the best formatter ever and are always fantastic to work with.

  Last but not least, thank you, reader, for taking the time to read this story.

  Lindsay Paige is the author of multiple Young Adult, New Adult, and Sports romances. She has also coauthored sports romances with Mary Smith. Along with writing, she loves reading, watching hockey, especially the Pittsburgh Penguins, and finding funny terrible puns and recipes on Pinterest. All the while, she is also focused on completing college.

  Lindsay resides in North Carolina and is inspired by the world around her and the people in it. She is currently working on numerous solo works.

  Lindsay has written the following books/series:

  Bending Under Pressure

  Bold as Love series

  Bracing for Love series

  Don’t Panic

  Sanity series

  Without a Doubt

  You Before Me

  She has co-written the following series:

  The Penalty Kill trilogy

  Oh Captain, My Captain series

  The Ninth Inning series

  Author Links:

  Blog:

  http://authorlindsaypaige.blogspot.com/

  Twitter:

  https://twitter.com/lindsaypaige11

  Facebook:

  https://www.facebook.com/authorlindsaypaige

  Pinterest:

  http://www.pinterest.com/authorlindsay/

  Instagram:

  http://instagram.com/authorlindsaypaige

  Newsletter Sign Up:

  Stay up-to-date on books, news, sales, and giveaways by signing up for her monthly newsletter! http://eepurl.com/hqcTw

  Lindsay’s next release is Back to Me (Carolina Rebels, #1), the first book in her new hockey romance series.

  Learn more about it: http://www.lindsaypaige.com/back-to-me

  Here is the blurb:

  Noah Ramsey has a great hockey career, wonderful parents, and a good best friend, but what he wants most is to be with the love of his life who walked away from him years ago. When he finds her at the airport, he realizes she’s changed, and she’s struggling with things she doesn’t want to tell him about. Noah also realizes just how much she scarred him when she left.

  Meredith Quick has always planned everything out. She chose her tennis career over love in order to better succeed, but her plan dissolves when an injury threatens her career and her fiancé leaves her. Struggling through pain and the uncertainty of her future, she realizes her first misstep was walking away from Noah. She impulsively decides to go back to him while she attempts to put her life back together.

  Reacquainting isn’t easy when Noah doesn’t quite trust Meredith to stay and Meredith struggles with overcoming the pain she’s endured without him. Can they work through their issues and move forward, or will their past ruin things between them forever?