Of Love

by Sean Michael

  “I haven’t seen many of those. My favorite scary movie is Poltergeist.”

  “I like the Shining for scary. Hey, if we watch a scary movie, we can grab onto each other—it’ll promote the making out.”

  “So Saw is out. Paranormal Activity is scary but not gross. Uh. I have Deep Blue Sea. Shark movies can be cool,” Kent noted.

  “Rock on. I haven’t seen that one before, I don’t think.”

  “This one’s more camp than scary. Come on. We’ll grab some blankets and turn the lights off.” Kent bounced up to get the blankets.

  Dex didn’t bother to point out it was still light outside.

  Kent had a great setup for watching movies—a big TV and an extremely comfortable couch. It already had soft pillows on it, and the addition of blankets was perfect. Dex toed off his shoes and took his watch and phone and put them on the little sofa table. Then he settled with Kent, immediately pulling his lover into his arms so they could cuddle up.

  Kent handed him the remote. “Everything is electronic, just dial it up.”

  “Not a remote hog?” That worked well because he liked having control, honestly.

  “Nope. I know how to say if I don’t like something.”

  “That works well. I like having the remote in hand.” Dex turned the TV on and scrolled through the various menus to find the movie.

  Kent chuckled and settled against him, heavy and warm and lazy. He rested his hand on Kent’s thigh, fingers stroking.

  The movie started and it wasn’t bad, but the best part was the quiet, the connection, the periodic soft laugh. They actually watched the whole thing, cuddling and touching, but not getting heavy with it.

  “Mmm. That was fun, love.” Kent sounded totally at peace with the world.

  “It was. What a crazy movie.” Turning toward Kent, he grinned, arms slipping around his lover.

  “You ate my bird.” Kent winked, quoting the movie.

  Laughing, he slid his hand down to cup Kent’s good-sized package. “Feels like it’s still there to me.”

  “Ha!”

  God, he loved to hear Kent laugh, loved the pure joy in it. Grinning, he squeezed Kent’s cock through his jeans.

  “Mmm. You want to go soak in the hot tub, honey? Enjoy the evening?” Kent asked.

  “Oh yeah. I do.”

  “Cool. Me too. You put on some music, and I’ll get her bubbling.”

  “Yes, boss,” Dex teased.

  “You want a glass of water? Maybe a glass of wine?”

  “Oh, wine is good. Bring the water too—we’ll be able to stay in longer.” They shouldn’t get dehydrated.

  “White, yeah? Something light?”

  “Sounds perfect. Like you, hmm?” Dex kissed Kent softly.

  “Flatterer.”

  Dex didn’t deny it. “Yeah, I’m hoping to get some from the hottest guy I’ve met in a long time.”

  Kent gave him a slow smile, obviously pleased. He took another kiss, hands coming up to cup Kent’s face. He could do this forever. Literally, forever.

  “God, you make me happy, Kent.”

  “Ditto. Seriously.” Kent gave him a soft, warm kiss.

  “Good.” He just stood there, smiling goofily.

  “Come on. I’ll pour the wine.”

  “Sorry. I was basking.” Still grinning, he followed Kent to the kitchen, helping out by grabbing wine glasses from the cupboards.

  “Thanks, honey.”

  “You’re welcome, sweetheart.”

  “Dollbaby.”

  Oh God, that was hilarious. Dex kept it going. “Snookums.”

  “Sugarbutt.”

  “Sweetie-pie.”

  “Studmuffin.”

  “Oh, I like that one.” Dex made a show of making muscles for Kent. Then he added another nickname to keep the game going. “Love Doctor.”

  “Love Doctor? That’s a little boom-chicka-wow-wow. I approve.”

  That had him hooting like a loon, and Kent grinned at him.

  “Boom-chicka-wow-wow.” Dex sang it, bumping hips with Kent. “Is that what we’re headed to the hot tub for?”

  “Possibly. In fact, probably.” Kent smiled, eyes alight. “You’re the best kind of porn.”

  “Ditto, babe.” He took another kiss from Kent, feeling the lazy arousal he’d been experiencing all afternoon slowly increase.

  “I could get used to this, spending days with you.”

  “Me too. I’ve never known anyone I got along with and found as attractive as you.” Never. It was like Kent had been made for him.

  “Thank you, honey. That means the world.”

  Dex gave Kent’s hand a squeeze. “Let’s get this hot tub show on the road.”

  “Works for me.” Kent gave him another happy kiss and poured the wine. “Let’s go play.”

  Chapter Eight

  KENT LOVED his job. He loved coding and computers and design and apps and figuring workarounds and…. His phone rang, and he tapped his headset. “Kent, here. Speak and be heard.”

  “Kent, honey? It’s Elizabeth. I have news.”

  He stopped, pushed back from his desk. Oh. Oh God. He hadn’t thought about his surrogate in weeks. He’d been working and totally over the moon with Dex.

  “Are you still there, honey?” she asked.

  “Yeah. Yes. Just shocked. News. You had news.”

  “I do! I’m pregnant, honey. I caught first try!”

  “Oh. Oh my God! Liz!” Kent couldn’t breathe.

  She laughed. “I’m about five weeks along, almost six, really. They’ll have me in for an ultrasound in a bit. You want to be there?”

  “God, yes. Of course. Yes. I wouldn’t miss it, not for the world.”

  His baby. Oh God. He was going to get to see a picture of his baby before it was even born.

  She laughed softly. “I have a good feeling about this one, Kent.”

  “Oh, how do I tell you thank you, lady?”

  “You let me crush your hand during the delivery, and then you take the best care of your baby anyone has.”

  “I swear. I promise you, I will.” His baby was going to be the most loved child on earth.

  “I believe you, honey. I’ll call as soon as I’ve got any more news or have an appointment day or time, okay?”

  “I’ll be waiting with bated breath. Do you have a due date yet?” A birth day for his baby?

  “Not from the doctor, but I mean we know what day it happened, right? It’s the beginning of June next year.”

  “A late spring baby. Oh wow.” Oh wow.

  She laughed again. “Congratulations, Papa.”

  Tears filled his eyes. “Oh wow. Say it again?”

  “Congratulations, Papa. You’re going to be a daddy.”

  “Oh damn.” The tears slipped out, and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He was going to be a daddy.

  “Kent, honey? Are you okay?”

  “Yes. Yes, I’m so very more than okay.” He was going to explode from it.

  “Okay, then. Like I said, I’ll call you. Go celebrate. Bye, honey.”

  “Bye, lady.”

  He hung up the phone and just sat there, staring. A baby. His baby was growing inside Elizabeth. This time next year he would have been a daddy for months already. He knew which room he’d turn into a nursery. How long until he’d know whether he was having a boy or girl? He’d have to look it up. He wanted to make sure he knew what questions to ask at the first ultrasound.

  He was going to be a daddy.

  He needed to call his folks. Like magic, his phone rang.

  The caller ID showed it was Dex.

  “Hey, honey!” Kent spun in his chair, so excited.

  Dex chuckled. “Hey, sweet. You sound even happier than usual.”

  “I am. I just got amazing news!”

  “That’s great! What?”

  “I’m going to be a dad!”

  Dex laughed. “A dad?”

  “I know, crazy, right? How are you?” He was going to take
the room that got the morning sun, make it the nursery.

  “Are you adopting a dog?” Dex asked.

  “What?” He liked dogs, but he needed to plan for the baby. Unless, of course, having a dog would be good for the baby….

  “You said you were going to be a dad—so is it a pup? A kitten? One of those pot-bellied pigs?”

  “No. A baby. I have a friend that offered to be a surrogate before I met you, and she actually caught pregnant!” He couldn’t believe it.

  “You’re having a baby? Like a little person?”

  “Well, yeah. I mean, in June.”

  “Are you bi? Is she your girlfriend?” The words shot out at him.

  “What? What? Me? Are you… what? No. No, I hired her. I mean, she’s a friend of mine, she’s married. She likes being pregnant, and she has kids of her own to raise….” He wasn’t a cheater. He’d never. Not ever.

  “So she’s giving you the baby, and you’re going to be a father. On purpose?”

  “I….” Yes. Yes, he was. He was going to be a great dad. He was going to be the best dad, wasn’t he?

  “So you like kids that much, huh? Congratulations?”

  “I’ve always wanted to be a dad. Always. I… I think I ought to go. I hope…. Bye.” He hung up the phone and took the headpiece off. They hadn’t really been seeing each other at all when this whole thing happened. They hadn’t been serious.

  Had he fucked up? Oh God. He…. His gorge rose, and he bolted to the bathroom, losing his lunch. It was all just too much—too much news, too much good and bad and worry.

  The phone began ringing again.

  “Just a second. Just a second.” He wiped his mouth, pulled his phone from his pocket.

  Dex again. Calling him back. Okay. Okay. Be an adult. “’Lo?”

  “Kent? Don’t just hang up, okay? I just… can I come see you?”

  “I threw up. I might be sick, and you have your race. I think it was just nerves, but I can’t be sure.”

  Dex sighed. “How sure are you that it was nerves?”

  “Pretty sure. I don’t like being in trouble.”

  “I’m sorry I upset you. I’ll come see you. Give me fifteen.”

  “Are you sure?” He didn’t want to see Dex if Dex didn’t want to see him.

  “I’m sure. See you soon, sweet.” The line went dead.

  Kent brushed his teeth, wiped down the bathroom, and sprayed Lysol.

  It didn’t seem very long at all before there was a knock at the door. He had coffee made, and he found himself shaking as he went to the door. Dex had a warm smile for him and opened his arms. He went, because they might not be partners yet, but they were lovers and friends.

  Dex hugged him tight. “Did we just have our first fight?”

  “I think so.”

  “I’m sorry. You just surprised me,” Dex told him.

  “I didn’t…. I wasn’t hiding it from you. We weren’t together when I did it. Into a cup. Not her.”

  “So you’re having a kid. I just… I’m trying to wrap my head around it, you know?” Dex sounded sincere.

  They moved to the couch, Dex sitting close with an arm around his shoulders.

  “I… I know. I mean, I want a family, and I hadn’t had a relationship with anyone for a long time….” He had everything he needed to provide for a child.

  “Wow. Bringing up a kid on your own. That’s a huge commitment. Like, eighteen years and a ton of money huge.”

  “Yeah, I know, but I have it, and I… I don’t know how to explain.”

  “I can’t say I understand wanting a rug rat underfoot full-time,” Dex admitted.

  Oh. Well, better to know now than to get deeper than he was and break his heart. “That’s understandable. Not everyone wants to have kids. I get that.”

  Dex didn’t let go of him, still cuddling. “It’s just not something I’ve ever thought about. I mean… I’m gay, you know?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I know. Me too. That’s why I went the turkey baster way. I’m going to be a good dad.” He was. No matter who didn’t get why.

  “Yeah, actually, I can really see that you will be.” Dex seemed genuine about the compliment.

  “Thank you.” It meant a lot to him.

  “Just don’t overdo it on the sweets,” Dex teased.

  “Can we still be friends? I mean, I won’t ask you to babysit or anything.”

  “Friends with benefits?” Dex suggested. “We mesh so well, and I don’t want to lose that.”

  “Friends with benefits.” He knew that would go away, but that was okay. He’d be busy in the spring and so would Dex with running. Kent stood up, desperate for a cup of coffee or tea or something. “Would you like something to drink?”

  “I would. You have any juice?” Dex stood too, following him into the kitchen and wrapping around behind him. “I really do care about you, Kent. I like you so much, more than anyone I’ve ever known.”

  “I care about you too. I never said anything about the baby because we hadn’t become friends yet, and it never works the first time. Never.”

  “It’s okay, I don’t think you tried to trap me into something by getting your friend pregnant.” Dex laughed. “God, now there’s a sentence I never thought I’d ever say.”

  Kent chuckled softly and poured an orange juice for Dex, a coffee for him, a nice sweet one with lots of cream.

  “So, uh, when do you get the baby?” Dex asked.

  “Well, she’s not very far along. She thinks June.” And really, at some point he wanted to call his folks, his sister, maybe his friends Dan and Andrew, who had a six-month-old of their own, and be excited.

  He handed Dex the juice and then sipped his coffee, letting the heat soothe him.

  Dex drank back the juice, put it down, and put an arm around Kent’s shoulders. “Wanna go sit again and cuddle?”

  “Yeah. How was your day?” he asked, going for something not baby related.

  “It was good. It was a running day, and I did thirty miles in four hours.”

  “Wow. That’s impressive.” It honestly was.

  “Thanks. I’m going to the Thanksgiving triathlon in California. It’s a charity run. I was actually hoping you’d come with me. Once the race is over I’ll have time to sightsee with you.”

  “I’d like that. You still want a ride to the race on Wednesday?”

  “I do. You can still go, right?”

  “Sure. I’ve cleared my schedule.” His head was beginning to throb, pounding from throwing up.

  “You’re looking a little grim, sweet. Turn around and let me at your shoulders.”

  “You sure?” He felt weird. Like he’d done something wrong. He hadn’t meant to; he’d just…. He hadn’t expected it to happen so quickly, so he hadn’t mentioned it. Maybe he should have. He was going to keep on top of things from now on because he was going to be a dad.

  “Of course I’m sure. Although maybe we should just have makeup sex—that’s supposed to be wild and amazing after an argument, right?”

  “I…. Would you be pissed if I just asked for a back rub and to sit together for a few minutes? It’s been a crazy day.” He hated to turn Dex down, but he was whatever the polar opposite of horny was.

  “No, that’s totally doable. Take your shirt off for me, though, so I can give you a proper rub down.”

  He pulled his shirt off, then handed Dex the remote and stretched out on the sofa. Dex found an easy-listening station and began rubbing his shoulders, hands digging in.

  “Oh….” Kent let his eyes close and prayed a little that he could just not think.

  “You’re all tight.”

  “Yeah.” This was a day of firsts.

  “Is that my fault? Because we… well, argued?” Dex asked.

  “I feel bad, like I screwed you over. I didn’t, though.”

  “Sweet, we didn’t make lifelong commitments to each other or anything. And I can date a dad, right?”

  “You can.” He didn’t think Dex w
ould want to, but they had time to have fun now. “It would suck if dads couldn’t date.”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I guess it would. There are a lot of single ones out there.” Dex found a spot of knots in his back and worked it hard.

  “Oh!” Kent’s legs trembled, shaking hard as the knot let go.

  “Damn. There’s another one here.”

  “S-sorry.” Whoa.

  “For what?” Dex asked, working that knot insistently.

  He shook his head. “I don’t know.”

  Dex kissed the back of his neck. “Let’s watch a movie or something and order pizza.”

  “I’d love that.” He grabbed Dex’s hand. “I’m sorry that I disappointed you, honey.”

  “I don’t have any right to be disappointed by your life decisions, Kent. Besides, I was just surprised, you know?”

  “Yeah. Yeah, I know. I do.” He did.

  “Cool. And good. I was just thinking you were too perfect to be true. Now you’re not perfect, so I know you’re real.”

  “Yeah.” Kent nodded and finished his coffee. That was him, the fucked-up one.

  Dex found a show to watch and tugged him in close. He let himself lean, let himself breathe.

  As they watched the movie, laughing and holding each other close, things began to feel normal again. At least as normal as they could be.

  Chapter Nine

  DEX WAS going to finish the race, but he wasn’t placing in the top ten like he’d hoped. It was his own fault too. Races were usually a meditation for him. He’d clear his mind and let his muscles take over. He’d been having trouble centering this time, his mind constantly circling back to the stunning news that Kent was going to be a dad. On purpose.

  He’d been growing more and more sure they were going to be a couple; now he wasn’t so sure. Dex wasn’t exactly the paternal type.

  Growling at himself as he rounded the last corner to the final straightaway, he forced his mind to calm and put on speed, determined to catch up to at least one person ahead of him. He simply breathed and pushed himself through the pain, through the fatigue, his legs pumping harder, moving him faster.

  His muscles were burning, his lungs on fucking fire, but he just kept pushing and pushing. He was aware of the first person he passed, but after that, there was nothing in front of him but the finish line. Then he was crossing it, just flying by it.