Journey's End

by LJ Maas

  “And if she asks that I free her?” I asked, already knowing, in my heart, Delia’s answer.

  “That, Lord Conqueror, will be a decision that you will have to make alone. I’ll only add that you can’t really start an equal relationship, based on an inequality. Can you?”

  I smiled sadly, now thinking of all Gabrielle and I had to talk of. My thoughts of Gabrielle pulled me in another direction.

  “Hades!” I stood up quickly. “I was supposed to bring breakfast back up for Gabrielle.”

  “Good Gods, with the way that girl eats and you haven’t fed her yet? Better make it lunch.” Delia replied, suddenly bustling around the small room, loading a tray with food.

  As I was leaving the kitchen, my arms laden with a silver tray, stacked with food and drink, I paused and turned back.

  “Thank you, my friend. I wonder if Galen ever knew how lucky of a man he was, to have found you.” I said to Delia.

  “You are quite welcome, Lord Conqueror.” She said, turning her back on me to face the fire. “I miss that old soldier.” She added softly as I left through the door.

  * * *

  I tried to get through the door to my outer chamber quietly, with little success, one of the silver plates crashing loudly to the floor.

  Gabrielle jumped up from the cushions she sat upon by the open balcony door.

  “Hi, I thought you might be as hungry as me, so I brought back lunch.” I explained, grinning awkwardly at my own clumsiness.

  “I thought... ” Gabrielle trailed the thought off and I heard the note of apprehension in her voice, taking in the strained expression on her face.

  “Oh, Gabrielle, no... I just went to get us some food.” I clarified, setting the tray on the table.

  I pulled her into an embrace and held her, resting my chin on the top of her head. I tilted her face until I could see the sparkling, emerald eyes, and reached down to kiss her. I tried to ease her fears and convince her I was sincere with that kiss.

  “Believe me?” I asked, pulling away to look down on her.

  Her flushed cheeks caused me to smile and she nodded her head.

  “Hungry?”

  She nodded her head even more enthusiastically and we pulled apart to sit at the table.

  We ate in odd periods of silence. One of us would say something mindless, such as commenting on the weather, and then we would make a few remarks about said topic, eventually graduating to a awkward silence once again. I could only guess that we both had the same things on our minds. We finally finished our meal, and I could make no other excuses, could no longer put off the inevitable. It was time for me to do something that I avoided like swamp fever, for nearly forty-five seasons. I was about to open my heart and speak.

  “Gabrielle... ”

  “My Lord... ”

  We each said in unison.

  “Gabrielle, I would think, given our circumstances, that you might want to call me Xena, all of the time. I mean, at least while we’re alone. It probably wouldn’t look good outside... ” I quickly added the last, not quite ready to be called that in front of my men.

  “I didn’t know if you... are you sure?” she asked.

  “Yes, I’m sure.” I answered with a nervous smile. “Did you have something you wanted to say?”

  “Please, you go first.” She replied.

  “Huh?” I was caught a little off guard, thinking I might formulate my thoughts while Gabrielle spoke. Now, the lamplight was shining brightly on me.

  “You said you had something to say?” Gabrielle gently prodded.

  “Yes... yes I did.” My palms began to sweat and I wondered why someone, somewhere, never came up with a plan to create an army of young women like this. They take your breath, your thoughts, and all physical movement, and make it nearly impossible for you to perform any of the aforementioned activities. They would be unstoppable, and I was making a mental note to ask someone about this plan, when Gabrielle brought me out of my nonsensical thoughts.

  “Xena?”

  “Oh, yes... well I... Gabrielle I--” I was reprieved by a knock on the outer door. “I’ll just see who that is,” I said, rising quickly and crossing the room.

  It turned out to be Sylla, come for the dirty dishes. The girl was faster than I thought she would be and moments later I was pacing the room, determined to at least give Gabrielle an inkling of what I felt for her.

  “Gabrielle... ” I started again, for perhaps the fifth time, slowly backing myself up until I felt the wall against my back.

  Gabrielle sat, very patiently, I might add, a perplexed sort of expression on her face. I began nervously fingering that same tapestry, hanging on the wall. Gods, the thing was going to be threadbare before winter if I kept on like this. I nearly slapped my own hand to stop the fidgety gesture of pulling on the loose threads.

  “Gabrielle... I have something to tell you. It’s... well, it about the way I--” A louder pounding at the door this time.

  “Hera’s tits!” I exclaimed and Gabrielle released a small giggle.

  “I’ll get it this time.” She said.

  When Gabrielle returned, my guard, Nicos, was with her.

  “Forgive the intrusion, Lord Conqueror, but you said that I should report to you immediately upon my return. I have the information you requested.” Nicos said, standing at attention the entire time.

  “Did you bring them with you?” I asked cryptically.

  “Aye, Lord Conqueror.” Nicos replied with a sly smile. “Captain Atrius is with them at this moment. He awaits your orders.”

  “Outstanding, Nicos, good man. Tell the Captain I’ll be down directly, then go get yourself some food and rest.” I clapped the soldier’s one arm within my own warrior’s embrace, and could feel the man stand a little taller, pride having been in short commodity for him the last few seasons.

  After Nicos left, I entered my bedchamber. I flipped open the chest and drew my weapons from their customary place, fixing them in the appropriate places. Looking up, I suddenly saw Gabrielle, studying me in quiet contemplation. Hades, I forgot something, didn’t I?

  “Gabrielle, I do have something important to talk with you about, but this is something that must be handled immediately. Do you understand?”

  She smiled and I felt instantaneous relief.

  “Yes, Xena, I understand perfectly.”

  “I have no earthly idea when I’ll be through. You don’t have to stay here and wait, though.” I put my arm about her shoulders, as she slipped her own around my waist, and we walked to the door. The gesture was completely involuntary and seemed so effortless.

  “Perhaps I’ll go to see Anya, then.” She said.

  I kissed her lips, and felt her smile against my skin, finding myself smiling the same way. When I, at last, left the room and walked down the lamp lit corridor, I found my fingers reaching up to brush across my lips. I knew I was grinning like an idiot, but it was such an odd physical feeling. My lips literally tingled after having kissed Gabrielle. I knew that no matter how long this next bit of nastiness lasted; I would find Gabrielle and tell her that I was truly in love with her.

  * * *

  “Well, well... Kassandros, I should have known.” I said immediately upon entering the small room Atrius held the prisoners in.

  Held in chains, the six men looked ragged and unkempt. If one didn’t know better, they might think them peasants or simple travelers. I, however, knew much better. Callius, the Captain of my fleet gave me their names, each and every one of them, as his own blood drained from him, to spill across my hands. He gave them up with a dying whisper, not even bothering to take their names to Hades with him.

  When I first learned of the treachery, I ordered Atrius not to arrest my headman, Demetri. I knew if he thought he wasn’t implicated in the illegal slave trade fiasco, once I killed Callius, he would eventually take over the Captain’s role of masterminding the scheme. I dispatched Nicos and two squads of men to quietly arrest the other players. I let Demetri
continue to think that I was unaware of his activities, until I had all of his associates firmly within my grasp.

  It never even surprised me when Kassandros’ name was the first to escape the dying Captain’s lips. He was one of my elected Governor’s, set up in one of the provinces of upper Macedon. I think it was a nostalgic moment that caused me to select him in the first place, either that, or guilt. I killed the man’s father, Antipater, a regent of Macedon also. Once I killed Alexander, his regent, Antipater was no problem. After that campaign, I seized control of Macedon, and began outwardly expanding the areas I conquered, until most of the foreign Empires surrounding the Aegean were under my control.

  It seems that Kassandros had teams of mercenaries, kidnapping young girls and selling them to Amphipolis, Abdera, and Poteidaia. The girls were daughters of free men, but that didn’t matter to any of the slave traders. Much to my recent abhorrence, the majority of the slaves eventually made their way to Corinth, and the many auction blocks in the great city.

  It took a great deal of patience, understanding, and time, for the story to be garnered; from the young girls I rescued that day on the docks. I asked Delia to help out, and the girls soon overcame their trauma enough to confide in the caring older woman. Now, the men responsible before me, I wanted nothing more than to see them beheaded or even crucified out in my palace courtyard. There weren’t too many punishments my dark mind could dream up that would sufficiently make the men pay, however. What they have done over Gods know how many seasons as I ruled, could never be repaired, even with their deaths. For the girls, the women, and their families, at least it would be a start.

  I walked around to face the condemned men. “Now, who would care to share their secrets with me?”

  I smiled, an altogether unpleasant smile, the kind that I haven’t used in quite some time. Three of the four men, seated and chained before me, began talking so fast; the beast within me was a bit disappointed that it would not be allowed its freedom. The fourth man, sitting there, silent and sneering, was Kassandros.

  I finally heard all that I needed. Frankly, I was a bit surprised. I never took Demetri for having the jewels for this sort of scheme, but I could only assume that was why he surrounded himself with an exceedingly rough group of characters. It was evident, from this lot especially, Demetri was the brains, and they were the brawn. Kassandros never said a word, as he and I stared hard at one another. I silenced the others with a baleful glance, positioning myself in front of the former Governor. I suppose he didn’t care much for my superior smile, because his lips pulled back in a sneer, and he proceeded to spit upon my boots.

  “Oh, yea... that hurt.” I responded in a mocking tone.

  “Don’t think I’ll give you the satisfaction of hearing me spill my guts like these fools. Let me free of these chains and I’ll show you what a real warrior is made of, you self-righteous bitch!” he shouted.

  I simply smiled again. Looking up, I pointed out two guards. “Find Demetri and arrest him. Bring him here... better yet, bring them all to the jail. I think my former headman should start getting to know the rabble he associates with, on a more personal level.”

  I turned to go when Kassandros’ voice met me once again.

  “I knew you were getting too soft to take me up on my challenge.” He shouted out, but I ignored him, making my way to the door.

  “You always were all show with the big sword and all, bet you ain’t much without weapons. It’s all over Greece how the Conqueror bitch’s bedmate is a dirty whore!”

  I stopped all movement, feeling as though I was just hit between the shoulder blades with a brick. The feeling wasn’t even one that I could consciously remember dredging up. The words he spoke about Gabrielle caused a faint stirring, somewhere deep inside, and within the depths of my very soul, I felt the beast claw to the surface.

  “Lord Conqueror... ” Atrius was by my side, but I stood staring at the door, unmoving.

  “Get these others down to a cell, leave him here.” I finished.

  A few more guards hustled the rest of the prisoners down to the palace dungeons.

  “The rest of you... out!” I commanded and men scurried from the room.

  I went about removing my sword belt and the chakram that hung on the opposite hip. I carefully wrapped the package of weapons up and turned to hand them to Atrius.

  “Remove his chains, then leave.” I said flatly, realizing I was very close to losing control of the darkness that began to settle all through me.

  “Lord Conqueror, this is foolishness. The man will die in the morning.” My Captain tried to persuade me from this reckless path, but I was past having either the ability to hear or care.

  “Now.” I repeated.

  I heard the door click as Atrius reluctantly closed it, then I turned to face the man who stood no taller than I. “Now,” I began, “show me what a real warrior is made of.” I growled.

  I felt possessed, once I made the conscious decision to relinquish the last of my remaining control to the beast.

  * * *

  “Get a couple of men to drag him to a jail cell.” I said to Atrius as I walked past him to a low barrel of water. I rinsed the blood from my hands and winced in pain when I bent my fingers. Gods, his jaw was hard. I rinsed my mouth of blood and fingered my jaw tentatively, checking for loose teeth. I gave a lot better than I got, but I didn’t leave the room completely unscathed.

  Atrius handed me a dry cloth, the expression on his face displaying his displeasure with my actions. I accepted my weapons and strapped them around my waist.

  “Lord Conqueror, I can understand why you felt the desire to beat the Tartarus out of him, what I don’t understand is why you actually put yourself in jeopardy that way, and went through with it.” Atrius was in his mother hen mode and I couldn’t blame him... much.

  “I imagined you, of all people, would know why I had to.” I answered, tossing the rag away.

  That crooked smile and a grunt, of which I took to be agreement, was all that came from the Captain.

  “Lord Conqueror... ” A young lieutenant rushed up to the two of us. “Someone must have warned Lord Demetri... he’s gone. I have two squads of men searching the palace, another four combing the city.”

  “Ares balls,” I muttered under my breath, “can’t anything ever go easy around here? All right, he’s probably fled the city by now, but keep your men looking just in case.”

  “Aye, Lord Conqueror.” He responded, rushing away just as quickly.

  “Gods, they’re making them younger every day. I’m starting to feel my age.” I complained to Atrius.

  The expression on my Captain’s face fell. “Speaking of age, Lord Conqueror... you are rather promised to a certain group of officers in training.”

  “And just how in Hades did that happen?” I growled. Those training classes were always filled with a dozen young soldiers all looking to be the first to best me with a sword.

  “Actually, Lord Conqueror, you promised you would meet with them this morning. I was told by your personal maid that you were rather... indisposed, this morning.” Atrius said, that damned amusement sparkling in his eye.

  “Since you think it’s so entertaining, you can come along and protect my back.” I grinned.

  “Yes, Lord Conqueror.” He muttered.

  I paused before continuing on out of the palace. A feeling slid up my spine, that I could neither put my finger on, nor brush off. “You don’t think Demetri’s stupid enough to hide here, do you?”

  “If he’s smart, he’ll be headed for Athens by now.” Atrius answered.

  “Well, I’d never accuse him of overt intelligence, but it’s what most sane men would do.” I responded with a sigh. “All right... to the training field.”

  My Captain and I walked off, headed outside, to show some of the young pups what kind of bite two old warriors still had. My last words about Demetri were meant as something of a jest, but one thing was true, fleeing the palace is what a sane ma
n would do. Unfortunately, at this moment, my headman was currently doing a balancing act between sanity and madness.

  As I strode to the training field, I never even thought that my Gabrielle might be somewhere, about to walk into harm’s way.

  CHAPTER 15

  BECAUSE I COULD NOT STOP FOR DEATH

  “AYAH!” I YELLED OUT, raising my sword up and over my head to block the attack at my back, pushing the metal blade away from my body.

  “Hey, you’re supposed to be watching out for me back there!” I shouted to Atrius.

  I could see that my Captain was having difficulties of his own and I tried to keep from laughing at our predicament. We were old enough to have sired any one of the young men and women who surrounded us, but we were doing a damn good job at not getting our butts kicked too badly. Atrius was currently battling against two female soldiers, whose swordplay I would have stopped to admire, had I not been otherwise engaged.

  “Look, it’s a little hard to build up a lot of sympathy for you right now.” Atrius panted. “Frankly, you’re on your own Conqueror!” he added, taking a wicked right boot to the jaw, then making the future officer pay dearly for it.

  I laughed and continued on, finally feeling my years as fatigue set into my muscles. Although I knew I would pay dearly for this over-exertion tomorrow, I was actually enjoying myself at this moment. Above all else, I was a warrior, and although I rarely admitted it, nearly nothing pleased me as much as a good fight.

  I worked with two swords, thrusting with a short blade, while parrying blow after blow with my long sword. I kicked out to my left side, not seeing yet feeling my booted foot sink into soft flesh. At the same time, I heard a grunt and a whoosh of air being forcibly expelled from a set of lungs. A young soldier fell into my peripheral vision, sinking to his knees.