Questing (Cosmis Connections, Book One)
Page 33
“You asked if I planned on kicking you out of my life. For a few minutes I did but not that day.” She saw him flinch and rushed to continue. “It was the night before, when I was waiting for you to call to say good night. I was thinking about the time that we spent together and let my insecurities sneak up on me. I thought you’d get bored with me eventually so I was going to make it easy on you to walk away when the time came. I planned on telling you that I just want to have some fun and that I wasn’t ready to settle down in a serious relationship. I figured I could convince you to keep us in a fling mood without any heavy emotions, kind of like friends who happen to have great sex when the mood strikes.”
“Why didn’t you tell me then?”
“Because when you started to rub my feet, I knew I didn’t ever want you to be just a fling. I wanted it all, everything we’d talked about. I decided that I’d become whatever I had to, to keep you interested in me.
“This morning when Shane was talking to me, he said that somewhere along the line he’d forgotten to trust your instincts and judgment and became intimidated by you. He wondered how much more he could have done with his life if he’d continued to have the same faith in himself as you do. He used Brett as an example of what can be accomplished with you believing in someone. It got me thinking of how you always stopped me when I made a comment that put myself down. You believed in me when I didn’t and now my doubts have sabotaged our chance.”
“So you think we only deserve one chance?”
“After the way I treated you, I have no right to hope for anything.”
“What about me? Don’t I deserve another chance at the life I want? Don’t I deserve to be happy?”
“Of course you do, more than anyone,” Kiley responded instantly. “I’m just not sure it should include me.”
“Still insecure?”
“Not about my feelings for you and what I want. I don’t see how you could possibly forgive me. How could you trust me with your heart again after what I did?”
“Would you hurt me like that again or would you discuss things with me if you start having doubts about something?”
“I’d remind myself of this week and talk to you. I never want to put that look back on your face.”
“Do you think I still love you?”
“My heart does but my head doesn’t see how you can.”
Jordan was silent for a long time, so long that Kiley decided he was going to send her away. When he began to speak again, she braced herself for his dismissal.
“Well Kiley, I think I do have some advice regarding your guy. If you truly mean everything you told me I suggest you listen to your heart. Tell him the truth about what was in your mind that day. And then, if he’s still with you, simply ask him to forgive you and take you back into his life.”
Kiley was afraid to breathe. Had she heard him right or was her head playing more tricks on her? “Jordan, you told me that you wanted to have some role in my life. You said you’d always love me and that I could count on that, no matter what. I know I’m asking more than is reasonable but I also know I have to try since I can’t imagine my life without you. I made a monumental mistake and, even though I’ll never make that one again, I may make others. I do love you, Jordan, so I have to ask you this. Can you forgive me?”
“If you’ll answer one more question for me, I think that may be possible.” He took something from his shirt pocket that she couldn’t see.
“Anything,” she replied.
“Kiley, will you marry me?” He held out his hand, showing her the diamond and emerald ring he held.
Kiley gasped. “Yes, oh my God, yes! I don’t believe this.”
“Why not? I said forever and I meant forever.” Kiley was still on the sidewalk. Jordan stood, opening his arms to her. “Come here, sweet. I missed you.”
Kiley flung herself at him, laughing and crying all at once. “I promise you, Jordan. I will never…”
“Sh.” He held her tightly. “It’s in the past now.” Slowly he released her. “I bought this the day after I met you.” He took her hand and slid the ring on her finger.
“It’s beautiful.” She wasn’t surprised by his information. “Jordan, I don’t want to rush you but can we get married soon? I want Max there with us.”
“You’re a good person, Kiley Fisher.” Jordan was thrilled. “I’d like that too.”
“And then we can move to that little town so you can show me how an investor and an advertising guy go about revitalizing a radio station?”
“It will be my pleasure.” Jordan claimed her mouth with the sweetest kiss.
“Speaking of pleasure,” Kiley murmured against him. “Can I come in?”
“Do you think I’d ever send you back across town to sleep alone when you’re here, saying you love me and agreeing to marry me?”
“No.” Kiley kissed him this time. “We need to make a phone call first.” Jordan raised an eyebrow as he ushered her up the stairs. “I want to call Brett.”
“Okay, then what?”
“Then,” she turned to face him and smiled, “I want you to show me how sweet you can be with me encouraging you to share your heart. I want to see just how tender we can be together now that I’m not afraid of loving you. I want to begin our forever.”
About the Author
For Barbara Huffert, reading has always been a favorite pastime. A few years ago, she started her first novel after one of the friends she trades books with challenged her to write something better than the last book they read. Barbara’s been writing ever since. With her opinionated cats sprawled wherever is most inconvenient, she now spends her time happily wandering through the worlds of her characters.
Barbara welcomes comments from readers. You can find her website and e-mail address on her author bio page at www.ellorascave.com.
Tell Us What You Think
We appreciate hearing reader opinions about our books. You can e-mail us at Comments@EllorasCave.com.
Also by Barbara Huffert
Deal of a Lifetime
Hot Rush
Linked
Also see Barbara’s additional title at Cerridwen Press (www.cerridwenpress.com):
Drake’s Rules
Discover for yourself why readers can’t get enough of the multiple award-winning publisher Ellora’s Cave. Whether you prefer e-books or paperbacks, be sure to visit EC on the web at www.ellorascave.com for an erotic reading experience that will leave you breathless.
www.ellorascave.com