“That’s what we’re hopin’.”
“I can check on her as much as I want to. If Van needs help, she knows she can call me.”
I started to tear up. “I know. Thanks, mom.”
“Do you need us to stay another night, to take her home with us?”
“Ty’s goin’ to take her. Colt thinks it’s a good idea. He thinks it will force her to hear him out. They’ve never been alone like that since everything happened. She won’t be able to walk away, and I think if we’re going to send her away, she needs to hear what she’s givin’ up.”
“I agree.” My mother got that look on her face when she knew we’d done something wrong and she was disappointed. We were all disappointed with Bella, but we hadn’t lost hope.
We talked a little more, and then she and John announced that they were going to head out. My mom loved to antique, and Sundays were the best day to do it. It was still early enough in the day that they could make several stops before they all closed.
The kids came out and hugged her, and I said goodbye for Ty, who was still resting. As soon as they pulled away, I headed back to Bella’s room, where she’d run off to. I found her sitting on her bed looking at a shirt she’d gotten on their trip. I sat down next to her. “Did you have a good time?”
“Yeah, it was okay.” She wouldn’t look me in the eye.
“Bella, you scared us to death last night. You can’t leave like that. Grandma was responsible for you and we all thought you’d been taken.”
She looked up at me with a sad face. “I’m sorry. I told you why I did it.”
I put my hand on her thigh. “Sweetie, I love you with all of my heart, but I can see that you’re not happy here. You’re dad and I have tried to be there for you and help you get through this, but you won’t let us in. We had to make the decision that will help this family heal. It hurts me to tell you this, but you’re goin’ to go live with Uncle Colt and Aunt Van for a while. I can’t have this constant drama around your brothers. It’s not healthy. I get that you’re mad at your father, but he’s never goin’ to give up on you.”
“You want me to leave?”
“I want our family to be the way it was before, but we both know that can’t happen anymore, especially after the things you’ve said about your father. I understand why you think you have to hate him, but it’s wrong. He’s done nothin’ but love you for your whole life. It all just breaks my heart.”
“I’ll do the exercises, I promise.” I wanted to smile, hearing her react like she hadn’t this whole time. It was at that moment when I realized how well Ty knew our daughter. Even after she’d ripped his heart out, he’d been strong enough to see what I couldn’t. He knew how to break her and bring her back to us.
“It’s not about that anymore. This is best for everyone. It’s not like we won’t be able to visit. We’ll come as much as we can.” I was lying through my teeth and I hated it, but it needed to be said. The more I saw her reacting, the more I knew it was working. Normally I’d be against manipulating my daughter, except we’d tried every other type of resorts and failed. This was a last resort. It was killing me inside, even if it was a ploy. I’d never send my child away if I didn’t feel like it was necessary.
“I’m sorry, mom. I won’t make you mad again. I promise.”
“You should have thought about that when you told the only man who has ever raised you that he wasn’t your dad. Bella, things like that have consequences. You can’t treat people that love you this way, no matter how angry you are at them. Family sticks together, through the good and the bad. I get that we hurt you by keepin’ the secret, but we didn’t do it for that reason. We did it because we both wanted to protect you. It’s only ever been about keepin’ you safe and loved. If you’d just given him a chance to explain, he would have told you that.” When she really started to cry I wanted to comfort her. She’d expect me to, so I hugged her and held her while I spoke. “Sweetie, this is the only way we can be happy. Don’t you want that? Don’t you want to be happy in your own home?”
“Yes,” she whispered sadly. “I won’t be mean to him anymore.”
“Actions speak louder than words, sweetie. I think some time apart is what we all need.”
God, I felt like the worst parent. The only thing that kept me going was the fact that it was clearly working. She was showing more emotion than she had in weeks.
She sobbed and looked down at the floor. “Do you still love me?”
“Of course I love you. That man in the other room, the one that you said wasn’t your father, loves you more than his own life.” I held her hand. “Bella, I know you’re goin’ through changes, and I get that things have been hard for you, especially learnin’ about Tucker Chase. I’m not tryin’ to push you away because you know. I am sending you to Kentucky so you can have some time to heal. I think that you bein’ here is makin’ it hard.”
“Mom, it’s not hard.”
In other words, Bella knew she was being disrespectful on purpose. She knew that it had all been a show, and deep down she didn’t hate Ty. It was the opposite. “The decision has already been made. We can’t have you runnin’ away or sabotagin’ your life and studies because you’re mad at us.”
“I won’t.”
“Bella, please don’t make this any harder than it is. Uncle Colt and Aunt Van will keep you safe. You’ll have Noah to talk to if you get sad. You can call me or your dad whenever you want.”
She put her head down and sobbed. The longer I sat there, the more I knew I needed to get out of the room. I got up and left her there, fragile and alone, and I hated myself.
I hated this plan, even if it was working. I hated Ty for suggesting it, and myself for going through with it.
My baby was in her room hysterical, and I was a big fat liar, again.
Chapter 33
Tyler
Miranda came into the room having an emotional breakdown. She was sobbing and fell onto the bed next to me. I’d been awake for a few minutes and realized what time it was. As I started to get up, she came rushing in, and I had no idea what had happened.
I reached over and put my arms around her, but she shoved me off. “I hate this plan.”
She wouldn’t look up at me, albeit I already knew what she was talking about. “What happened?”
“I told her she’s got to move out. Ty, it was so horrible. She’s so upset.”
I knew it was selfish, but for some reason, all I could think about was the fact that the plan was working. “So she doesn’t want to leave?”
Miranda shook her head and sniffled. “No. She said she’ll do the exercises. She was practically pleadin’ to stay.”
“What did you tell her?” I hated that Miranda was hurting, and especially that we were being so cold to Izzy. Neither of my girls deserved to be in emotional distress, but I was determined to break that wall down that she’d built. If telling her she had to leave was working, I wanted to keep going through with it, because it was the only way to get our daughter back to the little girl she used to be.
For some people it probably made no sense, and the psychiatrist was going to have a field day. Hell, she’d probably say I was a horrible parent and didn’t deserve a daughter. Every parent has their own way of raising their kids, and mine may have been unique, but it worked.
“I told her that we couldn’t live in this house with so much pent up anger. I told her it wasn’t fair to the boys or anyone, includin’ you. Ty, you were right. It only took a few seconds for me to see it. She may have said she hated you and that you’re not her father, but I saw the real truth in her eyes. That girl loves you, and she’s never stopped. As much as this fuckin’ hurts, I’m willin’ to go through with it, for you and for our family.”
I pulled my wife’s face up so I could look into her eyes. I used my thumbs to wipe away her tears and kissed her softly on the nose. “Baby, none of this was meant to hurt you. You’ve got to remember that this is part of the plan. We’re doing
this for our family. I know it hurts to even pretend that we’re giving up on her, but think about the rewards of making her appreciate our life. Look, I can promise you that the moment I drop her off at Colt’s is going to be one of the hardest of my life. I don’t want to spend a day without her in this house. It’s different when she’s visiting or away. I know it feels more permanent, even if it’s not. It isn’t like there’s some parenting manual laying around that can walk us through something like this. We’re grasping at straws here and I’m desperate as hell to get back what’s missing. Hell, I can’t even imagine what it’s like for other families that suffer through this for years. Maybe they’re stronger, or perhaps they’re just in denial. I don’t even care what other people think or do. This is about our family. It’s about our boys and about Isabella being the best daughter that she can be, because she’s happy and loved.”
When I said her full name Miranda closed her eyes. She knew I was done waiting. “We want the same thing, babe.”
I kissed her softly again and let my lips linger against hers. “I love you all so much. I can’t let her slip away without a fight.”
“I know. I just feel so bad. I hate seein’ her like this. It was our lie that did this to her, and now we’re puttin’ even more stress on her. What happens if this makes her hate us more?”
“First of all, she doesn’t hate you. She hates me, remember? Secondly, I seriously doubt that will happen. You said she’s already begging to stay. This is what we want, Miranda. She needs to realize what she’s giving up. The only way for her to appreciate us is if we show her exactly what she’s willing to lose.”
“I just wish there was an easier way.”
“So do I,” I agreed. It wasn’t like I hadn’t thought about it. I’d stayed up half the night reconsidering the idea.
I held my wife as she cried and thought about our daughter, who was probably in her room doing the same thing. It would have been cool to be able to tell her that we changed our mind and that she could stay, but I needed to be sure that her reaction wasn’t just out of desperation. I needed to be certain that her feelings were genuine. I may have been pushing it, but this was a serious matter that needed to be handled. I refused to raise a defiant girl, who would only end up getting herself into trouble as she got older and looked down on authority.
Izzy went to school that Monday morning. I stayed at the house with Miranda while she made some calls to her school. The good news was that they were willing to allow her to be homeschooled until her “medical procedure” was dealt with and she’d recovered.
So it was a lie. It still reassured us that her education wouldn’t be affected. She’d already been privately tutored when she was in the hospital before.
I decided that I was going to pick her up from school and try to test the waters of how our long drive to Kentucky was going to be. I could see her disappointment when she walked over to the truck and saw that it was me sitting there waiting. She usually got excited when she didn’t have to ride the bus, but I could tell she wasn’t that happy this time.
She climbed in and tossed her bag in the backseat. I turned on her favorite station, but kept the volume low. “Hey. How was your day?”
She shrugged and looked out the window.
I started to say something, but decided to leave her alone. We had a really long drive, and I wanted her to be as calm as possible for our talk then. I began to sing a song I recognized from her playing it in her room. I changed the words, saying crazy lyrics instead of the real ones that I didn’t even know.
She used to shove me and tell me how annoying I was while laughing. Instead she stared out the window, as if I wasn’t even in the truck with her.
Sure, it hurt my feelings, but it wasn’t like it was anything new. She’d been acting like that since the day she found out the truth. I couldn’t expect a big change out of her, even if she was afraid of moving away. I did, however, think it was funny that she could plead and make promises to her mother, but talk about none of it with me, like it never even happened.
I guess in some way Izzy thought I was responsible for everything. I guess in a way I was. I mean, had it not been for the whole domino effect of the damn lie, we wouldn’t be in this situation, but that decision wasn’t just mine. Miranda was more than willing to protect that secret for the rest of her life. We’d both promised to take it to the grave if it was possible.
When we arrived back at home, she hopped out of the truck and ran inside.
I missed my little girl and the talks that we used to have. I missed her confiding in me, and our special talks about boys and her brothers. I missed it all.
Maybe other people could live with getting the silent treatment, but I wasn’t one of them. I needed to be able to communicate with the people that I loved.
Conner came up the field on a Gator and stopped right before he made contact with my legs. “What’s up, dick? You don’t know how to return phone calls today?”
“Suck it. I’ve been busy, man. What did you want?”
“Randa told us what’s goin’ on. I gotta say, I didn’t think I’d ever see the day when you two would want Bells to move to Kentucky.”
I scrunched up my face. “Screw you. It’s temporary. They’re keeping her for a few weeks to see if we can get her to come around.”
“What if she likes it better there? What if she wants them to raise her?” He shook his head after chuckling at his own joke. “I’m kiddin’, bro. Bella ain’t goin’ to like Colt’s rules. He’s too strict for her. Besides, everyone knows that she’s just actin’ out. There ain’t no way she could hate you or my sister.”
“I appreciate that.” Conner and I were close. He knew when he could play around and when he needed to be serious. He loved his sister and his niece, and wanted what was best for them. “I hope this shit works. I know I’m dreading this fucking drive. She wouldn’t even talk to me on the way home from school. Can you imagine how much torture it’s going to be for both of us for four to five hours?”
Conner laughed as he took off his hat and put it back on. “I’d like to be a fly in that vehicle. Damn, it’s goin’ to suck to be you. Although I give her about an hour before she breaks. By the time you get to Kentucky, you’re goin’ to want to turn around and take her home.”
“Yeah, I don’t think it’s going to be that easy. Saying one thing is different than doing it. We need her to appreciate our life, not just want to be home and pretend to be happy.”
“I wish you luck, bro. I’m guessin’ you’re goin’ sometime this week?”
“We’re going to let her finish out this week of school and I’ll take her on Thursday, since Friday is a teacher workshop.”
“Shit, I forgot the kids are off on Friday. Amy asked me to watch the kids in the mornin’ so she could take care of a couple clients. I reckon I’ll be busy babysittin’ while you’re drivin’.”
“It’s not babysitting if they’re your kids, dude. Even I know that shit.”
Conner shook his head. “Whatever. It’s still watchin’ kids, which is called babysittin’.”
When I walked back in the house, Miranda was in the kitchen. She gave me a funny look, and I got close to figure out what her expression meant. “I guess the ride didn’t go well?”
“She didn’t talk if that’s what you’re asking.”
Miranda dried a dish and put it in the cabinet above her head. “Did you mention Kentucky?”
“No. I didn’t want her stabbing me in my sleep.”
She leaned on the countertop and made sure Izzy wasn’t coming in the room. “Don’t say that, Ty. She’d never hurt you or anyone else. That sweet little girl is still in there, you know.”
“I hope so, baby. I really do, because this shit is ripping me to pieces. I just want it to be over with. She’s punished me so much that it almost feels like I’m being stabbed over and over.”
We held hands, but I couldn’t look at my wife. There wasn’t anything she could say that cou
ld make the pain less for me. Only one person could heal my heart, and this last Hail Mary was either going to work or kill me more.
Chapter 34
Miranda
Love.
It makes us do so many desperate things and as ridiculous as they may seem to someone else, they make sense to the person whose heart is aching.
I guess I’d always been selfish and never considered myself one of the lucky ones. I didn’t understand how someone who was seemingly normal at one point, could take their lives in a completely different direction.
As the week started to go by, we had the obligation to start packing up Bella’s things to make it look like we were really shipping her off. To lighten up the load, we convinced her that she could only take half of her clothes and only her favorite things. Four rubber totes later, she was all packed up.
I could tell she was not happy about it. In fact, I’d heard her crying and found her in her room sobbing. It broke my heart, but she still refused to acknowledge that Ty was in the same house. There were even a few times when I felt like taking my mother’s advice and putting her over my knee until she admitted that she was doing all of this on purpose to hurt him. It would have been a lot faster than putting us all through hell just to prove a point.
My mother kept reminding me of all the times she’d threaten to ship me off to my aunts, which was pretty funny considering that I ended up living with her for a while anyway.
Even though I knew it was temporary, it still gave me some reassurance knowing that she’d be with family. I wasn’t sending her off to a boarding school, or leaving her on a stranger’s doorstep. To Bella, we were trying to come up with a solution to the animosity in our home. She knew that she could come back, and I think she even knew that this was all because of her actions, yet she still ignored her father.
The child refused to admit that he was nothing more than the man I was married to.
An entire month of having his daughter disown him had caused Ty to break. You could tell when Bella was around, because he’d clam up or go into another room. It was as if just seeing her broke his heart, over and over.
Loving Her (Mitchell Family Series BK9) Page 19