One good thing was having the boys. They kept Ty going and loved him regardless with what was going on with anyone else. Ty seemed to even get closer to them. He’d always been great to all three of the kids, but now he was just doing special things for them, instead of having to include Bella. The funny thing was that even though he’d invite her, she’d still decline and then go cry in her room. The more I paid attention to her actions, the more I saw that she was broken in her own way.
I called my mom, crying to her the day before she was supposed to go. I knew that it was really a visit, but it was killing me to even have to pretend to be moving her out.
“Miranda, this was what you decided. You can’t go back on your word after going this far with it. Besides, you said yourself that you can see that it’s working. Let Ty take her to Kentucky. Let them be alone and have that time to talk. I bet that by the time they arrive, everything will be alright again. It’s not like you’re getting rid of her. For goodness sakes Miranda, she’s only staying with them for a few weeks. She’s done that every summer since she was five.”
“What if she doesn’t want to come home? This could be a terrible idea. I don’t want to lose her.”
“Do you hear yourself? Sweetie, you’ve all been through so much in the past couple of months. First the illness and now this big blow-up. I think you need a break. Bella needs to miss you. She needs time to understand that he’s her father, no matter what the doctors could ever prove. You have a family and she needs to respect him. That’s the rules, or she’s going to be punished for it. Stop feeling bad about this. If anything, it will give you all some time to breathe. If she comes home still acting like a brat then you’re both going to have to deal with it. Some girls are brats. You are still the worst one I’ve ever known.”
I rolled my eyes when she reminded me of how much of a snobby little brat I was. “I thought girls were supposed to be easier.”
“Your brother was way easier, even when he was at his worst. I don’t think you want to admit the things you used to do. Let’s not get into how sneaky you were. Your daughter gets it naturally, if you ask me.”
“How did you get through it?” I wanted her advice. If I was that bad then maybe she had great advice to give.
“I prayed. I prayed every single day and sometimes more than once.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“Miranda, all parents go through something like you are, regardless what the issue is. Bella is changing physically and emotionally. As her hormones continue to take over, she’s going to be difficult. It is perfectly natural for her to be over-emotional, hard to deal with, and downright nasty at times. Honey, you need to learn to suck it up and move on. You both do.”
I rubbed the bridge of my nose. “That is easier said than done.”
“You’re a drama virgin when it comes to Bella. Honey, this is the beginning of many more disagreements. It’s the beginning of her knowing everything, even when she really doesn’t have a clue. It’s the beginning of her lying out of her teeth, so she can sneak and spend the night with boys. The list goes on and on.”
“Mother! I didn’t call you for this.”
“Sure you did.” She laughed. “You called me because you needed to hear it. I’m telling you the truth.”
As much as I didn’t want to believe what she was saying, I knew she wouldn’t lie about it. I took a deep breath. “So, you’re sayin’ that she’s goin’ to be fine? You really think it will be okay?”
“I think that a parent never stops learning. There is no right or wrong when you find something that works for you. Every single child is different, and you need to learn to adapt to that individual.”
“I know you’re right.”
“Miranda, be patient. Everything will work out, for all of you including Ty.”
I thanked my mom for the advice and hung up with her. As much as I wanted to fix things, I had to face the fact that sometimes you can’t rush things. I needed to calm down and let this run its course. We could try this one last thing, and if she still came home the same way we’d have to deal with it accordingly.
The night before Bella had to leave, I still got myself in a tizzy. Ty retreated out to the barn, and I knew it was because he was hiding from me. It wasn’t like I was going to skin him or anything. I think he didn’t like seeing me so broken up.
Another thing he was freaking out about was being in the car with Bella for such a long time. She’d refused to communicate with him, and that was a very long ride to have nothing to say.
I waited until I put the kids to bed to go out looking for him. He was shooting balls around the pool table with music playing from his phone. He looked up when I walked in, but didn’t say anything.
I grabbed a beer out of the refrigerator and took a sip. “Are you hidin’ from me?”
“No!” He shot another ball and didn’t look at me.
“Really?” I walked to the other side of the pool table and leaned over. “I’m not so sure about that.”
He shook his head and turned off his music. “Everything is fine, Miranda. I just wanted some time to think. I’m not mad at anyone and I’m not purposely trying to avoid you. Sometimes it’s okay for people to want alone time, you know.”
That only proved that he wasn’t okay. “The kids are all in bed. I was wonderin’ if you wanted to take a bath with me.”
He sighed and shook his head before sitting down on the couch next to me. “Don’t be offended, but I don’t feel like it tonight. I’ve got a long drive tomorrow, and it isn’t exactly going to be fun for me.”
I hurt for him, but didn’t know what to do without making him angry. I hated going to bed feeling like that, but this was hard for all of us. “Okay, I just thought I’d ask. I thought you might want to unwind before you need to make that drive. I get that you want to be alone.”
I started to walk outside, and I heard him coming up behind me. He smacked my ass and I turned around promptly. “On second thought, I think a bath would be great.”
We held hands as we walked back to the house, but when we got inside and Ty saw Bella standing at the fridge, he literally froze. We’d come into the house laughing, when we were both supposed to be sad. I felt horrible for her seeing us so happy. “Bella, what are you doin’ up?”
She seemed cross as she looked up at us. “I can’t sleep. I wanted some milk.”
Ty always made her warm milk when she couldn’t sleep, but mostly I think she’d always done it for his attention. He rushed into the kitchen without thinking about the consequences. “I’ll get it for you, Iz.”
She backed away from him and he froze in front of her. “I can get it myself.”
Ty’s face changed from hopeful to hurt and he walked out of the kitchen without saying anything else to her. I grabbed the cup out of her hand and looked right at her. “He was tryin’ to be nice to you. Is it that necessary to treat him so bad? When has he ever done that to you?”
She shrugged. “I guess you won’t have to worry about it anymore, since you’re sendin’ me away.” She went running back to her bedroom without the drink. I was so frustrated and knew that Ty was probably feeling the same. Suddenly I realized that the bath was probably the worst idea ever. I sat down on the couch and covered my face with my hands. I felt like the world’s worst mother, and I didn’t know how things were ever going to get any better.
Chapter 35
Tyler
Miranda gave me three shots of Bourbon before bed to help me sleep. When I say that she gave them to me, I mean she practically shoved them down my throat.
I almost wished that she hadn’t, because waking up knowing that I had to take Iz wasn’t a good feeling.
We had a big breakfast together and the boys made it clear how jealous they were that she got to go stay in Kentucky. For the first time since we’d told her the news, she seemed excited. It was a kick in the gut hearing her talking about living with Noah.
While laying in bed the night before, M
iranda and I discussed the possibility of that happening. We agreed that even if it didn’t turn Izzy around, the time apart would be good for all of us and it would give her time to heal and move on. Colt and Van were planning on bringing her home for Thanksgiving which was a little more than three weeks away.
Seeing her packing her last bags in the car really broke me down. I was hoping that she’d somehow come begging us to stay, but she never did. After she said her goodbyes, I hugged my boys and then my wife. Miranda was already crying and we hadn’t even started the car. “Baby, remember this is temporary.”
She nodded and tried to smile, failing completely. “I know. I’m bein’ so stupid about this. She’s gone to stay with them for longer periods in the summer.”
“Exactly.” I moved the hair away from her cheeks and kissed her there. “I love you. I’ll call when we get there. Don’t forget I’m staying at the guest house tonight and coming home in the morning. If you need anything just call me.”
The three of them waved as we pulled down the dirt road and then we were off to Kentucky. To break the ice, I turned on Izzy’s favorite station. She quickly grabbed her ear-buds and put them in, blocking out the radio and anything else I might want to say to her.
We weren’t even a mile away from home and she was ignoring me. I clenched my jaw and tried to keep calm, knowing that if I became irrational, it would piss her off more.
After driving for an hour I realized I was starving. I pulled up to a drive-thru and she finally brought her attention to me. “You know what I want, right?”
I did. “Sure do.”
We caught eyes for just a second and I could see that she realized we’d connected. She turned quickly and peered out the window.
It was hard being so close to her and feeling the tension. I handed her the food, but didn’t change my expression as I spoke. “Can you pull mine out for me?”
She did as I asked and we both started eating while I continued to drive. We’d finished before anything was said again, but I figured since she didn’t have her ear buds in that I would be able to speak my mind. “Are you going to miss your friends at home?”
She shrugged. “Not the boys.”
I smiled. “That’s because boys your age are buttheads.”
“And warts. Lots of them have warts.”
It was nice, hearing her talk to me somewhat like she used to. “I know your brothers are going to miss you. Who are they going to bother every morning?”
“I’m not goin’ to miss those annoyin’ poopfaces.”
“Iz there's something I want you to know that I've only ever been able to tell your mother. I know you might not care, but I need to get this off of my chest." I paused and thought about finding the right words to explain. "Remember how we told you the funny stories of how Aunt Van used to be my girlfriend?"
She nodded.
"Well, the real reason we broke up was because I became someone I wasn't proud of. When I had my accident and got out of the hospital I found out she'd fallen in love with Uncle Colt. It broke my heart for a while, but I knew he loved her and would always be good to her. While they wanted to start their future together, I was left alone. I got really depressed and even wondered why God had made me survive the crash. I felt so worthless. I considered ending my life." I looked right at Iz. "Then something happened and I felt like I had a reason to wake up everyday.”
Izzy seemed interested in my story. “What happened?”
“Well, I drove with your Aunt Van to take her to Kentucky. When your mom went into labor, we were the only ones to drive her to the hospital, except we didn’t make it in time. You were born in the backseat and from the moment I saw your beautiful face, everything changed for me. I never felt love like I felt for you, instantly, as if I was meant to feel that way about you. You changed me and made me want to be different. Everything I have is because of the love you showed me.”
She looked down at her hands and said nothing.
I couldn’t help myself, even though I knew I was pushing the limits of the conversation. “I’m going to miss you, Iz. I know you hate me right now, but every day of my life has been better because you’ve been in it. I wake up and look forward to seeing your smiling face and I enjoy tucking you in each night. Maybe you’ll never forgive me, but I’ll never stop loving you. If you ever need anything, I’ll be there, even if you refuse to talk to me ever again.”
I was trying to focus on the road, but talking about my feelings had gotten me all messed up in the head. My eyes watered so badly that I had to pull over to the side of the road.
Normally, I’d be able to walk away from something without shedding a tear, but I felt like I was dropping off a part of myself and just walking away. It was like telling a kid to walk outside and shoot their favorite pet. This beautiful young girl had a piece of my heart and imagining her giving it back to me was devastating.
I began to sob, putting my hands up to my face to hide my embarrassment. Here I was, driving her to try and teach her a lesson and not even two hours into the drive I was pulled over and crying like a little pussy.
I couldn’t look at her and see her unaffected reaction. I had to try and calm down on my own.
I heard her jacket shuffling and felt her arms wrapping around me. In the smallest whisper I heard her speak. “I’ll miss you the most.”
I turned, not even wiping the tears away, and looked at her. “What did you say?” I thought I was hearing things out of desperation.
She started to cry.
There we were, on some deserted country road crying together. I wiped a tear from her cheek and she looked up at me. “Please don’t cry anymore. It makes me sad.”
“I’m sorry.”
Izzy shrugged. “I know you’re my only dad. I get that you’re the only man that raised me.”
I looked right at her, amazed that after she’d dissed me in so many ways, she was admitting the only thing I wanted to hear. “Can you say that again?”
Izzy rolled her eyes. She put her hand on my shoulder. “You heard me.”
I reached down and grabbed her hand, squeezing it between both of mine. “That means a lot to me.”
She turned away, like the last five minutes hadn’t happened.
Deciding not to push my luck, I started driving again. Izzy put her ear-buds back in and looked out the window. I had to be happy that she’d at least acknowledged me. It was better than nothing at all.
Thankfully, she fell asleep shortly after that and slept for the whole rest of the ride. Had it not been for that, I don’t know what we would have talked about. I didn’t know what Colt was thinking when he said he wanted me to have the whole ride to talk to her, when for all these weeks she’d done everything she could to avoid conversation with me.
Izzy woke up when we hit the gravel driveway and approached Colt and Van’s house. She started gathering her things and prepared to jump out, even before the vehicle came to a stop. When it did, she went flying out and up the steps to see her cousins. I took my time getting out, while telling myself the whole time that this was going to be temporary. I kept reminding myself that she’d come around and we’d all be happy again in no time.
Then I walked in the house and saw her smiling. My heart dropped as I watched her interacting with Noah and Van, like she used to at our house. I felt so defeated.
Colt put his hand on my shoulder and walked with me into the kitchen. I watched as Van took Izzy by the hand and led her into the office. “Is she giving her the house rules or something?”
Colt chuckled and took a sip of a bottle of water. “Why don’t you go find out.”
I rolled my eyes and walked out of the kitchen, wondering why he was being so damn cryptic. Obviously she would need to follow the rules and be respectful of her cousins and their things.
When I got to the office door, I heard Van talking and I stood there, shocked at what she was talking about.
“Bella, you know we love having you here, right?”
/>
“Yeah. I promise to behave.”
“There’s something I think you need to know before you decide to stay here with us; something that might make you change your mind. Sit down and I’ll explain.”
“Am I in trouble?” I could understand why she’d think that. I couldn’t imagine what Van had to talk to her about.
“No. This is about me. It’s about something that happened with me and your biological father.”
It took me two seconds to get my hand on the office door-handle and burst into the room. “Van, don’t do this.” Izzy was sitting down. Van had her hands on her hips and a mad look on her face.
“This is my decision, not Colt’s and surely not yours. We sat Noah down and told him everything last night. Bella deserves the truth, Ty.”
“Please don’t do this. Miranda doesn’t want her to know. I don’t either. It’s too horrible and it could make things way worse. How do you think she’s going to take the end result of your story?”
“It is the truth. If she wants to make decisions that impact her family the way she is, then she can hear the truth, besides, I talked to Miranda about this today and she said I could.”
I ran my hands through my hair and folded my arms across my chest. “Fine. I guess I can’t stop you.”
Van sat down opposite from Iz and reached her hands across the table. She gripped onto Izzy’s and looked her right in the eyes. “What I’m about to tell you isn’t going to be pretty. It might even make you upset. I wouldn’t be telling you this if I didn’t feel like it wasn’t important. You and Noah went digging into something that you never should have learned about. Now it’s destroying one of the people that love you the most in this world.”
“What is it?” Izzy asked.
“Tucker Chase was a horrible person, Bella. You’re not going to learn the truth from any newspaper or obituary. If you want the truth, I’m going to give it to you. I’ll tell you everything I know and experienced firsthand, so you can finally put this curiosity to rest.”
Loving Her (Mitchell Family Series BK9) Page 20