Marrying Simone

by Anna Jacobs

  ‘I’ve heard it often happens in that situation. Did you never want to marry again?’

  ‘Not till I met you.’

  ‘Russ, please.’

  ‘I shan’t change my mind about that.’

  Two more weeks passed without any further emergencies at Pennerton House or anywhere else, come to that. Most of the time Simone went with Russ on his trips to film the inhabitants of Henrietta’s grounds, and found it all fascinating. She’d learnt to ignore the fact that she was on camera and concentrate on the wildlife. He made it so interesting.

  She’d watched him make Henrietta feel comfortable as he filmed, too. Clever man, he was, in many ways.

  If it hadn’t been for her daughters, she would have been blissfully happy, but days passed and neither Clo nor Deb phoned. It hurt a lot because Mags and Kit did get in touch and seemed to have settled in well in Australia. They’d caught up with her daughters but Clo was a bit under the weather, so hadn’t done anything socially.

  Simone wished she too could catch up with her daughters but didn’t intend to be the first to take a step towards reconciliation, not this time.

  What was the matter with them, hanging onto their grudge about her going to England like this? She and Harvey must have done something very wrong in the way they’d brought them up. Could you love people too much, give them too much of yourself?

  Perhaps it wasn’t all her fault but simply one aspect of the spirit of the age that she and her friends had noticed. Some younger people seemed to feel entitled to the best in every aspect of life, even when they were struggling to afford it. Not all young people, of course, just some of them.

  She discussed it with Russ one night and he held her close as she wept about her break with her daughters. But he too thought she was doing the right thing in holding firm to her need for a life of her own, and that made her feel better. He was such a sane person.

  She managed to forget her worries much of the time because she was learning to live with him, finding it very different from living with Harvey, very stimulating in many ways because he had a curious mind always wanting to learn, to know more.

  One day she confided her family problems to Henrietta as they were sitting chatting and waiting for Russ to join them.

  ‘Am I wrong to wait them out on this, Henrietta?’

  ‘Not at all. They’ll be thinking hard about the situation, I’m sure. Give them time.’

  ‘I suppose so.’

  Henrietta studied her face and reached across to give her hand a squeeze. ‘It’s difficult for you, I know, Simone, but sometimes you have to be firm with people, especially other members of your close family. Hold firm. It’ll be worth it.’

  After a few minutes’ silence, Henrietta added quietly and rather sadly, ‘Nothing can ever be guaranteed where people are concerned, mind you. You just have to know that you’ve done your best, even if your life and the lives of those you love take different paths from the ones you’d expected.’

  ‘Yes. You’re right.’

  ‘And the other thing is, you can never quite predict what people will do in any crisis.’

  ‘My mother said she’d talk to me about my family here, but she never got back to me. She and my father always shy away from talking about the past.’

  ‘They have just as much right as you to choose their way in life, even if it’s one you don’t approve of. In which case you have to live with it. As for your daughters, what they don’t have the right to do is expect you, or anyone else, to be at their beck and call.’

  The chat was comforting. Henrietta was so wise. Sometimes you just had to move on.

  Then one balmy evening Russ came home bubbling with joy. He refused to tell her why until they were at the hotel ordering a meal, then beamed at her across and added a bottle of champagne to their order.

  He raised his glass to clink it against hers. ‘Today’s shoot was it.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘I’ve done as much as I can with my filming here, so I’ve come to the end of this stage. I need to work a bit on my editing, then go to London and refine it with a brilliant editor before I turn in my final version.’ He grimaced and added, ‘And even then the TV company will change things – and change them again. See if they don’t.’

  ‘How do you stand it?’

  ‘Because I want the best final product and usually the changes are improvements. Tiny details can make such a difference. And then there’s the commentary to record.’ He hesitated then added, ‘It’d be a waste of your time to come to London with me, darling. You’d just be on your own in the evenings as well as the days. But I’ll be home at the weekend. Will you be all right?’

  ‘Yes, of course I will.’

  ‘That’s my wonderful independent lady! I love that you don’t cling.’

  As she waved him goodbye she remembered those words and sighed. Sometimes she wanted to cling, very much wanted to. But she wouldn’t allow herself to do it because one day, one dreadful day, she’d have to leave him and go back to Australia. She never let herself forget that and he hadn’t managed to persuade her otherwise.

  There wasn’t a firm date for ending the house exchange, just ‘end of August or September’. But she reckoned the Dittons would still want to come home again round about then, so that would be it, more or less.

  Her swappees’ granddaughter had been born almost exactly on the due date, and they’d sent a couple of delightful photos of themselves holding her and beaming at the world.

  Simone had a new grandchild on the way, too. Surely once she was back in Australia, she could sort things out with her girls?

  Russ came home at the weekend but he wasn’t completely with her. His head seemed still full of the images and the commentary that was now being fitted to them, which included some of her and Henrietta’s remarks. This production company, he said, had its own way of doing things and fussed a lot but he liked the results they got for nature programmes better than any other series he’d seen lately.

  For two wonderful days they walked round the lake, talked until late, went back to bed in the afternoon to make exquisite love, and then suddenly it was time for him to leave again.

  Simone was thoughtful as she settled back into life on her own.

  She would never be as totally partner-focused as she had been with Harvey, but maybe something halfway between his way of life and Russ’s would suit her better these days, because she was sure some of the ways she’d changed were permanent.

  If she ever got over Russ and met someone else, that was.

  Make the most of the next few weeks, my girl, she told herself grimly every time she felt a bit down. Even a short time with Russ was such a joy.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  The world fell apart for Simone sooner than she’d expected – in the middle of that same week to be precise. She was woken at two o’clock in the morning by the phone ringing and when she picked it up, it took her a few seconds to realise that it was her younger daughter who was sobbing at the other end of the line.

  ‘Ma?’

  ‘Deb? Is that you?’

  ‘Don’t hang up on me.’

  ‘I wouldn’t do that, especially not when you’re upset.’

  ‘I’d deserve it if you did refuse to take my call, and so would Clo. We’ve not treated you very nicely lately and I’m sorry for that.’

  For longer than that, but who was counting? ‘Well, no one is perfect.’ Simone felt happiness surge through her. This meant she and her daughters were going to come together again, which was wonderful, just absolutely wonderful. ‘Tell me what the matter is, darling.’

  ‘Ma, it’s not good news.’

  Deb’s voice was so tight and unhappy, Simone’s pleasure faded instantly. ‘What’s wrong? Just tell me straight out.’

  ‘Clo’s been rushed into hospital. The baby started coming early and there were complications. Things didn’t go well and in the end they had to do a Caesarean.’ She let out another te
arful choke.

  ‘Did the baby – die?’ Oh, please no, please not that!

  ‘No, no. But the poor thing was only just over seven months old and quite small, and – and she’s in one of those incubator things. She wasn’t due for another few weeks.’

  ‘But Clo’s all right?’

  ‘They think she will be. She wants to see you, Ma.’

  ‘And I want to see her.’

  ‘Can you fly back straight away? She needs you so badly.’

  ‘To look after Tommy and Vicki?’ In the circumstances she couldn’t refuse to take care of her grandchildren, but if it was the main reason for this call, Simone was going to be feel bitterly let down.

  ‘No. Well, not exactly. Bob’s parents are doing that, and they’re happy to share the job with you when – I mean if you return. Clo needs to see you to set things right. She’s fretting about it. You will come back and – and reassure her that you haven’t given up on her, won’t you? Or on me.’

  Simone didn’t hesitate. ‘Of course I will. I’ll get online and see if I can find a flight on that cancaellations website. I’ll contact you when I have one booked.’

  ‘Thanks, Ma. She’ll be so relieved. We all will. You’re the pivot of the family, and not just because of the help you’ve given us, either. You’re just – that sort of person.’

  After she’d put the phone down, Simone had to blow her nose and wipe her eyes before she could get out of bed. What Deb had said at the end was the nicest compliment she’d ever had. Ever! She got dressed in the first clothes that came to hand, then hurried downstairs. After switching on her computer she made herself a mug of coffee, working out in her head the best order in which to do things.

  First she got online and found the site that gave last-minute cancellations.

  It took her a few minutes to navigate her way round it and then, to her utter relief, she found a direct flight to Perth being offered. It wasn’t a business class seat this time, but she’d manage. She checked the other details quickly, glanced at her watch, then clicked on the icon to reserve the place on that flight, getting out her credit card and paying for it without hesitation.

  She now had just under six hours to get to Heathrow Airport. She could do it.

  She phoned the local taxi firm, woke up a grumpy chap on ‘emergency calls only’ and booked a taxi to get her to Heathrow.

  ‘It’ll cost £50 extra at this time of night.’

  ‘I don’t care. I have a family emergency in Australia.’

  ‘All right, lady. I’ll get there as quickly as I can. See you in about twenty minutes.’

  After that she rushed round the house pulling all her things out of drawers. Flying what people jokingly called ‘cattle class’ meant she’d have to pay extra for excess luggage, as well as not being able to lie down on the plane, but that didn’t matter.

  To hell with packing carefully, she threw everything into her two bags any old how.

  She had the suitcases standing outside her front door in fifteen minutes flat, after which she did the hardest thing of all. She phoned Russ in London, waking him up as well.

  ‘Simone? Is something wrong?’

  She explained quickly.

  ‘I’m sorry about that. So you’re going back to Australia to see her?’

  ‘Yes, of course I am. She needs me. The plane leaves in just under six hours. Look, when you come back to Wiltshire will you clear out the fresh food and any other bits and pieces I’ve left behind? All the bottles of wine in the rack are mine, so take them and – and think of me when you drink them. I’ll shove the Dittons’ front door key through your letterbox.’

  ‘Yes, I’ll do that. And we’ll keep in touch by phone and email until you can come back.’

  She took a deep breath. ‘I shan’t be coming back, Russ.’

  There was silence for a moment or two, then, ‘What exactly do you mean by that?’

  ‘It’ll probably be weeks before I can leave Clo and the baby. Your life is here and mine is there, so it’ll be better to make this a clean break. We always knew it was coming.’

  ‘But I thought we—’

  Her voice broke as she interrupted. ‘Russ, please don’t make it harder for me than it is. I love you but we can’t make a life together. We knew that from the start.’

  ‘You decided that. I never agreed about it. I still don’t.’

  She couldn’t help it, began to sob. ‘Please Russ, let’s just – remember how wonderful it’s been. This emergency only emphasises for me that I have to live near my family. I can’t bear to make a life permanently away from them – I just can’t.’ She was sobbing so harshly now she didn’t realise for a few seconds that the doorbell had rung and car headlights were shining through the kitchen windows.

  ‘The taxi’s here. Take care, Russ.’

  She didn’t wait for him to answer but cut the connection and went to open the door, still mopping her eyes. ‘S-sorry. I’m a bit upset.’

  He gave her a reassuring old man’s pat on the shoulder. ‘I’ll get you to the airport in time, love. This all your luggage?’

  ‘Yes.’

  Her phone rang and it was Russ. She didn’t answer, just locked up the house and put the key through his letterbox. Then she sat in the back of the taxi and shed a few silent tears. She wanted to howl loudly in anguish and only just managed to hold her grief in.

  She couldn’t go through another goodbye with Russ after this one. It’d kill her.

  The journey seemed interminable and Simone hadn’t thought to get a book to read as she walked through the airport. She didn’t have any reading material on her phone, didn’t like reading electronically anyway.

  She tried to watch a film but although she didn’t much fancy any of the ones being offered, she settled in the end for a thriller that had good reviews.

  After watching it for half an hour she couldn’t remember who had done what, because her mind had kept wandering, so she changed to an old musical instead. Since she knew it well, it didn’t matter if she missed parts of it. Which she did.

  She wasn’t the only passenger to heave a loud sigh of relief when they got to Perth.

  After she’d gone through customs, she found Deb waiting for her outside, pacing up and down behind the rows of seats.

  When she realised that her usually elegant daughter was wearing scruffy old jeans and a top that seemed to have been pulled out of a charity package, Simone’s heart gave a lurch of sheer terror.

  Her daughter flung her arms round her and they clung to one another for a few seconds, rocking slightly.

  ‘How’s Clo?’

  ‘They say she’s recovering nicely. If that’s “nicely”, I hope I never look so awful. They had to do a full hysterectomy, you see, and she was still a bit dopey when I saw her yesterday evening.’

  ‘And the baby?’

  ‘Holding her own. They seem cautiously pleased with her progress. But she’s tiny.’

  ‘Thank goodness. Oh, thank goodness!’

  Deb stopped to stare at her. ‘You look terrible, Ma.’

  ‘So do you.’ She looked down at herself in mild surprise. ‘Didn’t seem to matter what I wore.’

  ‘It was the same for me. I flung on the first thing that came to hand. What about your new guy? I half expected to see him with you.’

  Simone hesitated, hating to put it into words, then said it. ‘I finished with him.’

  ‘When? You never said.’

  Simone drew a deep breath. ‘I phoned him to tell him before I set off for the airport. It wouldn’t have worked, you see. His whole career is based over there and I couldn’t live away from you all. Not permanently anyway.’

  Another stare. ‘You look sad.’

  ‘Yes, well, I can’t help feeling sad. Russ is a wonderful guy but sometimes circumstances don’t—’ She had to pause to pull herself together enough to continue. ‘Our lives are too different. It can’t work.’

  ‘Couldn’t he photograph the animals here
? Or doesn’t he want to live in Australia?’

  ‘He’s made a speciality of the creatures that live alongside humans in the UK. He brings the whole interaction to life, makes people care about them, see what’s been right under their noses. He’s making a real contribution to helping save wildlife. He’s brilliant. I couldn’t stop him doing that. It wouldn’t be right.’

  ‘Oh.’

  ‘Besides, even if he came to do some filming in Australia, it’d only be temporary and he’d go away again. I love you all too much to live in England permanently.’ She blew her nose hard, trying to hide the tears.

  Deb plonked a sudden kiss on her mother’s cheek. ‘You’re still a family first sort of person, aren’t you?’

  ‘I suppose so. Let’s – talk about something else.’ She gave her nose a final blow, then asked brightly, ‘How are the kids? I bet they’ve grown.’

  ‘Parker and Marcie are fine. They’re staying with Logan’s parents for a day or two. I – wasn’t sure about the – the situation with Clo. I wanted to be easily available if things got, you know, really bad. It was a real screaming siren emergency.’ She shuddered.

  Simone gave her another quick hug. ‘Can we go straight to the hospital? I know it’s early morning here, but it’s night inside my head, thanks to the time differences between the two countries. I didn’t manage any sleep on the plane, and I’m tired, but I won’t be able to rest before I’ve seen Clo. Oh, and where am I going to sleep? Did anyone think of that?’

  ‘Of course we did. I rang the Dittons and explained. They’re going to move out of your house tomorrow and move in with their daughter until they can change their flight back. Tonight you’ll be sleeping at my place, if that’s OK?’

  ‘Once I’ve seen Clo, made sure she’s all right, I’ll not care if I have to sleep in the garden shed.’

  ‘We can do better than that for you.’

  At the hospital, Deb explained to a stern-faced woman at reception that Clo’s mother had come all the way from England to see her, so they were allowed in even though it was too early for visiting.