Dreaming of Ayama

by K. A Knight

  Eldon’s eyes are shining now, his dimples showing, his hair a mess, and his lips pink from my kiss. “All you had to do was ask, Good Looking,” he teases.

  “W-What?” I stutter, my eyes dropping to his lips again as Auden sweeps my hair to the side and presses his lips to my ear.

  “We told you, we will have you whatever way we can. We have always been willing to share you with each other, what’s one more man? As long as you love us,” he whispers softly before his teeth catch on my earlobe and tug gently.

  I move on his lap, trying to relieve some pressure, and his hands tighten on my hips, pulling me closer until no inch of space separates us and I can feel every hard inch of him pressed between my thighs. Auden blankets me from behind, leaning me back against him as he kisses my shoulder, while his brother watches us with a satisfied smile.

  “Does Barrott know?” he asks.

  I nod, unable to speak as Auden keeps up those soft kisses, driving me mad. His touch is so opposite to the hard, biting grip Eldon has on my hips. “Good.”

  Sweeping my tongue along my dry lips, I watch his eyes drop to them, flaring in need as he watches me. “Never call me that again,” I beg, hating the weakness and breathy quality in my voice.

  “What?” Eldon questions distractedly, his hips moving slightly beneath me, making me gasp as he presses harder against my core.

  “Indy.”

  He laughs then, as does Auden. “It felt weird to say,” he admits and I grin at him, pulling my hand still woven with his brother’s around my front, and resting it on my stomach. He lets go of my hand with a squeeze, and my hand drops to Eldon’s chest as Auden’s big hand splays across my stomach, leaving a heavy, comfortable weight.

  “Do you know what you are doing, Good Looking?” Auden asks, whispering against my skin as he kisses my shoulder again.

  My brain melts for a second, and he laughs when I don’t answer him. “Building a family. You found all the parts, all the people who were as alone or lost as you, and you brought us together and made us a real family.”

  I blink in astonishment. Is that what I’m doing? I wasn’t trying to. I just care about them all and want them around me. Maybe I’m trying to fill a hole where I used to have a family, but before I can think more about it Auden distracts me again with his mouth and hands. I don’t know if I’m ready to go there with both of them—I know it would have to be both, otherwise they will fight and I will get between them. That’s the strange thing about being in so many relationships, they move at different paces. They aren’t pushing though. In fact, they don’t touch me anywhere else, just happy to watch me and have me there between them. It makes me relax, and Auden’s hand slips down slightly, his fingers sliding into the top of my trousers. He freezes, but when I don’t remove his hand or seem to object, he relaxes again and just leans against me, his chin on my shoulder.

  “Missed you today, Good Looking,” Eldon says.

  “I missed you too. Did you find any survivors?” I ask, wanting to know what happened.

  I relax into his chest as Auden curls around us, and Eldon holds us both, telling me about their day. They didn’t find anyone, but they did map more of the area, and I find myself nearly falling asleep as I listen to them describe the world around us, their excitement and voices making me smile, even as I close my eyes.

  “Tell us about your day, Good Looking,” Auden encourages, holding me close, their heat keeping me warm.

  A yawn stretches my face, but I happily tell them everything, loving that we can share this. It feels normal, like something a family would do. Hi honey, how was your day? Make any new alien friends?

  They listen intently, asking questions and just being there for me, and it warms my heart.

  “We should get back, Good Looking. You need to sleep and eat,” Eldon suggests, dropping a soft kiss on my head.

  Auden gets to his feet and helps me up, and they both take one hand as we walk back to the camp, happy just to be in each other’s company. We reach the edge of the site, heading towards our tent, before we hear a shout and running feet. I look over at Auden and Eldon before we all take off, sprinting towards the noise. A crowd has started to gather over at the other tree line and I quickly start pushing through. Luckily, when people spot me, they part and let me pass until I can see what has happened, and when I do I gasp, my heart skipping a beat.

  “Howard!” I scream.

  Ground Day Six

  I scramble across the people in the way, dropping to my knees in front of Howard. He is held between Liam and Wrenil. I freeze looking at the alien for a moment, but I can’t focus on them right now. My hands hover over Howard’s body, where I can see blood seeping through cuts in his jumpsuit. Swallowing hard, I slowly lift up his head, his face is pale and sweaty and his eyes are bloodshot, but they are open and focused on me, even if I can see the pain in their depths.

  “Indy, thank God you’re okay,” he whispers, his voice hoarse and weak.

  “Daddy?” I hear a shout, and when I look over, Effie is standing at the edge of the crowd, her hand to her mouth. “Daddy?” she whispers again.

  I nod at her and she cries out, rushing over, so I move to the side but she grabs my hand and pulls me to him as we both stand in front of him. “Daddy, what happened? Are you okay?” she rushes out, before flinging her arms around him. He grunts in pain but holds her as best as he can while she sobs.

  “I’m okay, peanut. Sorry to worry you.”

  She cries harder and I look over at Barrott. “He’s hurt bad. We don’t have any way to treat him, Effie.” I grab her shoulder and she pulls back and looks at me with dazed eyes.

  “I need healer Effie right now, you hear me? Look at him, Effie. He is barely standing, what do we do?” I demand harshly, but it does the trick and her eyes clear as she gets that clinical look on her face as she looks at her dad, who is now swaying in the two men’s grip.

  “Okay, okay, you are right. We need to get to the alien’s camp, they have equipment there. Jim, run ahead and warn them. Barrott and Eldon, grab Howard. I will get my bag and meet you there. Go now!” she shouts, kissing her dad on the cheek before dashing away.

  He watches her go, his face proud even in pain. “You’ll be okay, Howard, just hold on,” I demand and he nods, a cough racking his body,

  Barrott simply picks the man up, holding him gently to his chest like he doesn’t weigh anything, and starts striding out of the camp. I follow after him, my eyes locked on Howard’s unmoving form. He doesn’t look good at all. His skin parlour is whitening by the second and his arm is flopping about uselessly like he doesn’t have the energy to control it anymore. Barrott almost jogs to the alien camp and the five minutes it takes feels like a lifetime, but when we get there the camp is buzzing with activity. Obviously Jim got here first, because the jinum and Rhet are waiting there already. I turn when I hear feet to see Wrenil and Effie sprinting towards us, her face panicked. She heads straight to her dad and I follow behind as they run him into the medical room in the big building. There isn’t enough room for everyone, so Wrenil waits with the jinum at the door as Barrott and I plaster ourselves to the wall, while Effie and Rhet work.

  I edge to the doorway, trying to stay quiet, keeping my eyes on Howard. “What happened?” I ask Wrenil.

  He looks at me before his eyes lock on Effie again. “You told me to listen to and care for her. She needed her father. I went and found him,” he states like it’s that simple, and even under the circumstances I can’t help but smile. He went out there and did something no one else could do just to make her happy. It’s cute, but then my smile fades as I look over to see them cutting away his shirt and trousers, leaving him in his underwear. He seems to be waking up again, but we all gasp in horror and step forward at what looks like bite marks on his chest and legs, and there are even some dotted around on his arm.

  “What the fuck?” I gasp.

  Wrenil and the jinum step forward, all looking horrified. “They are hitzl b
ites,” the jinum whispers, staring over at the doctor. They share a look before everyone swings their gaze to Effie, who is staring at her dad with a pale face.

  “What does that mean?” I demand, getting impatient.

  This time, it’s the doctor who answers, his mind whirling as he seems to be thinking of a plan of action. “They are poisonous creatures that stick to the darkness in the mud pits over in sector two, he must have tangled with one. Their bites are poisonous…and erm, well…”

  “Spit it out,” I command.

  “Usually deadly, more of our kind died while we scouted that sector than ever before,” he blurts out, and Effie looks at him, her face a mixture of horror and anger.

  “He is not dead, so what do we do? There must be an antidote?” she snaps, all business, but we can see her hands shaking.

  “Eff—” I start, but she flicks a glare at me and I step back against the wall with my hands up.

  “Well, erm, yes, but it doesn’t always work. The longer the poison has been in his system, the less potency it will have, and that is a lot of bites.”

  “Get the antidote, we need to sedate him for the pain and then clean the wounds,” Effie orders, but he must not move quickly enough for her because she stomps over to him. “Now!” she yells.

  He jumps into action and she heads over to the cupboard, pulling out things she will need. A raspy voice has my gaze turning back to Howard, where I see him looking at me. Stepping forward, I stop at his side and he grabs my hand, his grip solid, but I feel weakness and shaking in his grip. I try not to stare at the bite marks, but I can’t help it. Up close I can see the indent of what looks like fangs, and spreading from each bite is a black line, like a vein under his skin.

  “Indy, look at me.” I glance and he smiles slightly, his eyes squinting in pain. I hear Effie and Rhet moving around to get ready for the procedure, so I lean in closer. “Thank you, sweetie, for looking out for her. I never doubted you would find us. Watch out though, okay? Be careful,” he warns, his voice slurred.

  “Careful of what?” I ask, gripping him harder.

  “Rebellion.” He coughs, his body jerking on the table as blood flies from his mouth. “Protect my little girl,” he begs, his eyes wild.

  I nod, trying to step back so they can help him, but he clutches me closer. “Promise me,” he demands.

  “I promise,” I whisper.

  He nods before laying back, and then Effie pushes me out of the way, all business while her and the alien work in sync to save her father. Barrott wraps me in his arms, and for once I lean back and let him strengthen me. He grips me tighter, his chin resting on my head as we watch in silence, listening to Howard’s uneven breathing and Effie whirling around like a mad woman.

  She grabs the gun from Rhet and plunges it into Howard’s neck. He goes limp suddenly and it’s clear he is out. They start for real then. Rhet administers the antidote while Effie begins the long process of cleaning each wound. Before she closes each bite, they add more antidote and then seal it back together again with nanites. Their medicine is more advanced than ours so it actually makes me feel better, and I relax knowing he will make it through this, he has to. Howard is a stubborn bastard and there is no way he is leaving his daughter, he will be okay. I keep telling myself that over and over again during the three hours they treat him, and when they finally step back, they look exhausted. Effie asks everyone to leave and we head out, with me staying outside the door, and only when it shuts do I hear her cry.

  I want to rush back in, but I know she needs the space and she shouldn’t keep the pain bottled in, so instead I stand outside with my head pressed to the door, forcing myself to hear her sob and beg her dad to keep fighting, while blaming myself the entire time. If I had found him sooner… Shaking my head, I turn and press my face into Barrott’s waiting chest.

  “Shh, baby, there was nothing more you could have done. You looked every day until we dragged you away,” he soothes, knowing I’m blaming myself, but he is wrong. I could have searched more instead of worrying over my love life, but I will have to live with that regret and guilt. I let him hold and comfort me though, until the door opens behind me and an exhausted Effie looks out. Her eyes are red and puffy but determined, and her mouth a hard slit. When she sees me it wobbles, and before I know it, I have my arms wrapped around her, our faces buried in each other’s shoulders as we seek comfort.

  Sisters, always, facing the mortality of our father.

  Please, I can’t lose another parent, please, I beg silently, my tears wetting Effie’s shirt as we crumble together.

  Eventually we pull back, but she doesn’t let go of my hand as we head back into the room. I force myself to be strong, knowing she needs me now more than ever. She pulls two chairs up on either side of the bed and we both sit back and watch Howard, each clasping a hand. A white sheet covers him from the chin down, and his face is still pale but he isn’t sweating—that’s a good sign…right?

  I blink as a noise intrudes and look over to see Barrott, Wrenil, and Rhet at the door. “Will you check on the camp and let them know what is happening?” I croak, before clearing my throat, scratchy from my tears. “I’m staying.”

  “Of course, then I’ll be right back. Riley can take up watch,” Barrott agrees with a nod.

  “Barrott,” I warn, trying to convey with my eyes about the rebellion, but his gaze just narrows.

  “There will be someone with you at all times and that is final, Inds,” he growls, before stalking over and yanking my head back to kiss me. It’s soft and loving and he drops one more on my forehead before leaving.

  I smile and shake my head, turning back to Effie who is watching me. She forces a smile, but I reach over and clasp our hands, lending her my strength. “He will be fine, babe. Remember that time he broke his foot because a newbie dropped a pole from the ceiling on it?”

  She barks out a laugh and then covers her mouth, darting a look at him. “He’s strong.” She nods.

  “He’s stubborn, like you. He will pull through and we will be here the whole time,” I confirm, squeezing her hand.

  “He can’t die, Indy, he can’t.” She looks up at me then, letting me see her suffering.

  Howard has been Effie’s hero for as long as I can remember, just them against the world, until they adopted me. “He won’t.”

  Wrenil and Rhet come in then and they both surround her, not touching but using their presence to let her know they are there for her. I watch her curiously as she tilts into them without even realising it, seeking their comfort and warmth. Do I do the same thing with my men? Watching it now, I can’t deny how beautiful it is, the way they move together…are we the same?

  Dashing the thoughts away, I look back down at Howard, swallowing hard. That man survived a crashing ship, a submerged escape pod, and poisonous monsters. He won’t die here, I know it.

  Right?

  I force myself to stay awake, even as Effie drops off to sleep with her head pressed to Howard’s knuckles and her soft snores filling the room. Wrenil is still behind her refusing to eat, sleep, or leave. Rhet is curled up on the floor like…well, a cat, around her chair. My eyes keep going back to Howard. He is so still and pale, and my heart hurts. All this quiet and time to think only brings back memories that make tears gather in my eyes and clutch him tighter.

  “Peanut, you here?” Howard calls. I hear him drop his bag by the door and the thumping of his boots as he heads my way.

  He grins when he sees me, not even freezing. “Hey, cupcake.” He drops a kiss on my head as he passes by to grab a water, the smell of oil and smoke following him as he slumps against the worktop opposite me, watching as I lean back from the flight manual I had been studying.

  “You okay?” he asks. He knows the deal by now. I only come here for our meals and to get Effie, or if something is wrong.

  “Yeah,” I mumble, staring at the worktop.

  He reaches across and lays his hand on mine. His nails are filled with oil and
his hands are rough from his years of hard, manual labour. “Indy, what’s wrong?”

  I look up at him, noticing how tired he seems. All these hours are too much for him. “Indy,” he prompts and I roll my eyes, knowing he is stubborn as hell, just like Effie, and I guess in a way he’s right. I came here for some peace, but I also needed to talk to someone. I thought that would be Effie, but she must still be in class.

  “It’s my dad’s birthday,” I tell him and he sighs, tightening his grip, his eyes flashing with pain before he masks it.

  “I know, I didn’t want to bring it up.” He sits down heavily, watching me. “Want to talk about it, kid?”

  I shake my head, playing with the manual while I look at him. “No, I just couldn’t be there right now.”

  He knows I am talking about my shared unit. “This is your home too, Indy, you come here whenever you need to. You know that, don’t you?”

  I nod again, trying to shake off the dark cloud that has followed me around today, attempting to keep it together. “He would have been so proud of you, cupcake. You work so hard and you are going to make one hell of a pilot someday. Hell, maybe even a leader,” he jokes.

  “Nah, I would cause too much chaos.” I grin and he laughs.

  “No doubt. Who knows, we could probably do with a bit of chaos every now and again.” He sobers up quickly though. “I mean it, Indy. This is your home and I know you want to stay there, I get it, but our door is always open. Blood or no blood, we are family.” He nods, like announcing it makes it true.

  Shaking it off, I clutch him closer, but all the memories from the time we spent together just seem to crowd my head. The way he opened his house and arms to me, accepting me even in my worst moments. Stepping into the role of my father, even when he was a single dad who worked more hours than he could handle. With everyone else asleep, I lean forward, my words for him.