by Harper Bliss
“Looking for someone or is this just a coincidence?”
Margot’s eyes briefly widened as she turned to Claire. She approached and leaned against the black marble countertop of the bar.
“I’m looking for Juliette, actually.” She sighed and ran a finger over her lips before continuing. “I know it’s not my business but Nadia is my friend and, believe me, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t think I needed to be.” She eyed Claire’s drink. “I stopped at their flat but no one was home and Nadia told me she comes here often after work.”
“She does, but she’s still in the office, I’m afraid.” Not that she needed to be, not tonight, but clearly Juliette didn’t have the slightest interest in going home today. “Can I help?”
“Nadia asked if she could stay with me for a while.”
No wonder Juliette had been in a dark mood all day. Claire knew better than to push on days like that. Besides, she’d had three client meetings, a strategic planning session with the web team, and not a minute to herself all day. And Juliette knew where to find her if she wanted to talk. She signalled Tony, the bartender, who came straight over.
“Another cosmo for me and whatever the lady is having.”
Hesitation crossed Margot’s face but after a few seconds she relaxed her shoulders and dragged a bar stool close. “A small Stella, please.”
Claire waited until Margot had taken off her jacket and settled down next to her. “Are you sure you want to get involved in Nadia and Juliette’s mid-life crisis?” She lifted her glass a fraction of an inch off the counter and tilted it in the direction of Margot’s beer glass.
“God no.” Margot stared into the golden liquid in her glass, as if the answers lay buried there. “Meddling is not my style, but the state Nadia’s in… I’m not sure Juliette even realises how bad it is.”
Claire was very familiar with the ins-and-outs of her friends’ relationship, possibly too familiar, but Juliette was her best friend, had been for twenty years. She knew better than to stick her nose in by now.
“She does and she doesn’t.”
Margot looked up at her and smiled. “Could you be more specific, please?”
Claire reciprocated the smile and concluded that, although the doctor wore a stern frown well, the small laughter lines crinkling around her temples added an irresistible warmness to her face. “She knows that what they’re going through at the moment could be fatal, and that the circumstances are very much against them, but she’s in denial because she’s scared to death of losing Nadia.” She took a sip of her drink before continuing. “I know you mean well, but some people can’t be told. They need to feel it. Need to experience the shock of impending heartbreak. Juliette is very much one of them.”
“I just, huh, wouldn’t want her to think it has anything to do with me because I’m letting her crash at mine. I found Nadia in a right state this morning in the on call room. I had to take her somewhere and she didn’t want to go home.”
The utter stoicism Margot had displayed last Friday stood in stark contrast to the worry apparent on her face tonight. Claire decided she liked this side of the doctor much better. “I’m sure Nadia’s in capable hands with you.” She shot her the crooked grin she usually reserved for flirting. “Don’t worry about Juliette. I’ll talk to her.”
“Thanks.” Margot downed her beer in a few long gulps. “I’d better get back to Nadia. I think she might have gone off on a cooking frenzy.” She was already slipping off the bar stool.
“One more?” Claire didn’t feel like emptying the rest of her drink on her own. “You came all this way…”
“She does manage a hospital, I suppose I can trust her not to set my never-used kitchen on fire.” A smile again. She waved at the bartender. “A cranberry-soda, please.” She looked back at Claire. “I’m riding my bike home. Would you like another?”
“Why the hell not?” Claire swiftly downed her cosmo and presented Tony with the empty glass.
After Margot had sat down on her stool again, stirring her straw in her drink, she surprised Claire by saying, “No matter how much I try to stay away from lesbian drama, it always manages to find me in the end.”
“That explains—” Claire was interrupted by someone barging into the bar with lots of airs and graces. Juliette. “Here comes trouble…”
Without exchanging niceties or noticing the company Claire was in, Juliette launched into a wounded tirade.
JULIETTE
“I can’t fucking believe it! She’s staying with that uptight doctor she tried to set you up with last week. If they’re having an—”
“Calm down, Juliette!” Claire pointed at the person sitting next to her, who had her back to Juliette, tilting her head in the stranger’s direction. Oh fuck. Could this day get any worse?
The doctor rose from the bar stool she’d been perched on. “I think I’d better go.”
“I’m so sorry.” Staring into Margot’s face and finding unexpected compassion etched in the lines of it, sent Juliette over the edge. She’d been holding on for days, weeks and months even, and now stood face to face with someone who made her realise most of her accusations had been solely based on her own frustrations. “I shouldn’t have said that.” Juliette brought a hand to her chest. “I’m really sorry.”
Margot scanned her from head to toe. “I have a spare helmet. I’ll take you to her.” She reached for a leather jacket hanging from the next bar stool. “Good thing you’re wearing trousers.”
“W-what?” Juliette had trouble processing Margot’s words. What was that about a helmet and trousers?
“Just go with her, Jules.” Claire’s hand rested against her bicep, squeezing gently, before addressing the doctor. “Merci.”
Before she had a chance to think things through, Juliette found herself outside of Le Comptoir with a musty helmet on her head, staring at a black-and-red motorbike with great fear. “There’s no way,” she said.
“Do you want to see Nadia?” Margot fastened her own helmet under her chin, visor still open.
Juliette swallowed and nodded. Margot snapped her visor shut and then Juliette’s. No more words were spoken. Juliette’s fear of losing Nadia was far greater than getting on a motorbike with a virtual stranger—and at least she was a doctor. After watching Margot mount the bike, she followed suit and swung her leg over, then hesitantly placed her hands on Margot’s sides. Instantly, Margot gripped her wrists and pulled her arms all the way around her middle.
They set off into the Paris evening. The streets were almost dark and when the bike first roared to life, anxiety rose in Juliette’s stomach, but Margot was a careful and considerate driver and manoeuvred them effortlessly through back alleys instead of the big, jammed-up boulevards. Juliette would never even have considered riding a motorbike in a city like Paris, but in a way it made sense. Parking was easier. Traffic could be dodged.
She pulled up in front of a classic building just off the Boulevard Saint-Germain. When Juliette dismounted from the bike, her legs were shaking like leaves in the wind. She was also rather impressed by the location of Margot’s home, but not in the mood for talk like that.
Margot fastened the bike to a steel bike stand and covered it with a canopy she kept in the storage space under the seat. She held out her hand and Juliette gave her the helmet. They rode the elevator in silence, nerves gnawing at Juliette’s insides.
When they reached the front door, Margot turned to her. “I’ll let her know you’re here first, okay? Then I’ll go to the café on the corner of the street to give you some privacy.”
Juliette nodded. She couldn’t believe she had actually considered that Margot might play a negative part in their relationship crisis. She waited outside the closed door, too jittery to take in her surroundings well. She hadn’t smoked in years, but her hands were itching to hold a cigarette. It took long minutes before Margot re-emerged and let her in.
“Just go through there. You know where to find me.” With that, she zipped
up her leather jacket and headed back to the elevator. Maybe she could be a good match for Claire, after all. Maybe Nadia hadn’t been that far off. Nadia.
Her heart thumping furiously beneath her chest, Juliette made her way into Margot’s apartment. She found Nadia perched in the corner of a large beige sofa, legs drawn up under her, looking much more relaxed than Juliette had expected.
“Hey,” she said. The smell of Tunisian spices hung heavy in the air, reminding Juliette that she hadn’t had a single bite to eat all day.
“Salut.” Nadia’s tone sounded anything but conciliatory.
Juliette bit back the anger that so easily flared these days. Was it really all her fault? Stop thinking like that. “Can I sit?”
“Sure.” Nadia seemed to want to retreat even deeper into the sofa, but she’d already reached its corner.
Juliette kept her distance. If only she knew what to say. She spun stories for a living, turned bad news into good, negatives into positives. “I realise I’ve taken you for granted for a long time. That I haven’t given nearly as much as I’ve received. I’ll do whatever it takes. Just tell me, and I’ll do it.”
She was met with a disdainful huff from Nadia. “Oh, so you need me to tell you. I’ll tell you one thing, Juliette, your head is so far up your own ass you only see yourself anymore. And if you’ve come here to ask me to go home with you, you’ve come for nothing. I’m staying here until you figure out what to do. I can’t—I simply can’t be with you now. I need some space.”
“I—” Juliette tried to reply, but Nadia hadn’t finished yet.
“You say you don’t recognise me anymore, well, the same goes for me. I feel so far away from you, as though we have absolutely nothing in common, which is a very strange thing to feel when you’ve been with someone for a decade.”
Nadia appeared calm and collected, as if she’d thought this through, as opposed to Juliette, who had received a simple text message an hour ago saying, Not coming home tonight. Staying with Margot. Need to be alone. It might as well have said that Nadia was leaving her for Margot.
“I’m a workaholic and we’ve grown apart because of that. But we’ve always said—”
Nadia interrupted her again. “I meant what I said, Juliette. I need to be away from you for a while. I need a break from the stifling atmosphere in our flat. Nothing you say now will make any difference. I appreciate you coming here, but I’m going to ask you to leave now.”
Juliette’s heart broke into a million pieces. She looked at the woman she loved and felt utterly powerless. Defeated, she obeyed Nadia’s wish and left without looking back, not because she didn’t want to but because she couldn’t.
NADIA
Maybe Juliette believed it was easier for Nadia to say she wanted her to leave than to pull her close and try—once more—to just cuddle it all away. She couldn’t have been more wrong if she did. Nadia sat frozen in her seat for a long while, etching the memory of Juliette’s hurt face into her memory. How she’d gone from standing in front of her regally, with that tall and lanky posture Nadia liked so much, to a crumpled mess in the sofa. Nadia could tell she was trying, grasping at straws, but what chance did they really have if she just brushed it all under the carpet again? If they just continued and pretended like nothing had happened until the next fight—always bigger and more hurtful than the last.
She waited for Margot to return to the flat, immobile in her spot in the sofa, unable to move. Her mind was too busy absorbing the after-shock of actually having sent Juliette away to allow her muscles to do much work.
The door fell into the lock fifteen minutes later and before Margot even took off her jacket, she presented Nadia with a tumbler of brandy.
“Drink this.” She shrugged the leather off and neatly hung it over the back of a chair.
“I appreciate you going to find her and I don’t want to impose on your hospitality, but I can’t go home yet.”
“I’m not the greatest with guests, but you can stay here as long as you like.” Margot reached for the bottle. “I need a drink.” She poured herself a stiff one and crashed down next to Nadia in the sofa. “I take it it didn’t go very well.”
Nadia sipped from the glass. She wasn’t much of a brandy fan, only turning to it in times of great emotional distress, and the liquor burned her throat. The warmth of it spread through her veins and the worst of her nerves died down with the hot glow of the booze. “I just, for once, need her to feel how I feel.” Nadia looked at Margot over the rim of her glass. “Or is that a terrible thing to say?”
Margot let out a huff. “You’re asking the wrong woman. I don’t have a clue what it’s like to be in a long-term relationship.”
Nadia pursed her lips together, contemplating Margot’s love life. She’d joined the hospital just as Nadia had been made administrator eight months ago, just as things with Juliette had started going downhill. She’d seen it before. The more ambitious the doctors, the worse state their affairs of the heart were in. “What’s your longest?” Nadia felt a blush of shame creep up her cheeks because she hadn’t asked before, but Margot was far from the talkative kind. Nadia did know about Margot’s last girlfriend Inez though, how she had left and broken her heart.
Margot averted her eyes before answering. “Seventeen months.”
Nadia had to strain to hear the words coming from her co-worker’s mouth. She took another sip of her brandy. She hadn’t exactly told Margot she was setting her up with Claire when she’d invited her to last Friday’s dinner party, expecting a certain refusal if she had.
“I have night shifts and weekends when I’m on call and I basically live for my job, it doesn’t leave a lot of room for another person.” She managed a tight smile before continuing. “But I appreciate you introducing me to Claire. That was very subtle.” She paused to drink. “I ran into her at Le Comptoir earlier when I went looking for Juliette.”
There was nothing like some juicy lesbian gossip to take Nadia’s mind off her troubles, if even for a few seconds. “And?” Her toe approached Margot’s leather-clad thigh and she gave her a light shove.
“She’s certainly stunning and quite possibly way out of my league.”
Nadia shook her head. She straightened her posture to better get her point across. “Doctor de Hay, please. Have you looked in the mirror? Do you not notice how Sylvie and Emma go quiet or burst out into giggles every time you even approach the nurses station? Please don’t tell me you’re one of those people convinced of their own unattractiveness because you are gorgeous. And if so, I’ll send you to the eighth floor for a consultation with Doctor Bailly, who, by the way, also has the hots for you.” Nadia ended her speech with a smug grin. It felt good to experience a flicker of joy, even at the expense of her friend. But clearly Margot needed a talking-to.
“You’re crazy, really, I think that brandy must have gone to your head.” The words exiting Margot’s mouth didn’t match the coyness with which she expressed them.
“Give me your phone.” Nadia held out her hand. “Come on. I know you always have it in your pocket and it’s always switched on. Give it to me.”
“No! Why?” Margot put her hand over her pocket. “You’re not the boss of me in my home.”
“You’re someone who needs coaxing in the right direction. I’m your friend and I will happily oblige.”
“I don’t think I’m her type and I try to avoid situations—”
“Give me your bloody phone, Margot.” Nadia prodded Margot’s hand with her bare toes. “You have to at least take a chance.”
“I refuse. I’m old enough to arrange my own dates.” She cupped her fingers tighter around the bulge her phone created in her pocket.
“You might be old enough, but clearly that’s not sufficient to present you with a multitude of satisfying date nights… but suit yourself.” Nadia reached for her purse on the rug and dug out her own phone. “I don’t need your permission for this.” Before Margot had the time to protest, Nadia typed a message
and sent it to Claire.
“What did you send her?” The mock indignation on Margot’s face was the perfect cure for the heaviness in Nadia’s heart. Maybe the demise of her own relationship would instigate another.
“Just that you thought it was fun to run into her, despite the circumstances. That’s all. Let me just send her your number and then the ball’s in her court.” Nadia quickly took care of that. “And believe me, Claire Cyr is not shy like you.”
Knowing Claire, and Nadia had known her as long as she’d known Juliette, she was probably giving Juliette a piece of her mind right now. Nadia’s heart sank at the thought. No amount of setting up other people could undo the knots in her stomach and the tightness in her chest.
CLAIRE
“What are you grinning at?” Juliette peered at Claire over the rim of her glasses. They’d both been pretending to watch the ten o’clock news while lost in thought, when Claire’s phone beeped.
Claire had predicted, if Juliette and Nadia couldn’t figure things out quickly, that Juliette would turn up on her doorstep after her visit to Margot’s apartment.
“You’d better not be sexting while sharing the sofa with me.”
Claire burst out laughing. “Sexting? I’m a little too old for that, chérie. It’s just a friend.”
“I’m your friend and I bet I don’t make you smile like that when I text you.”
Claire was glad the evening was taking a lighter turn, after all the drama of the hours before. “A bit more than a friend then, I guess. A friend with benefits.” She waited for Juliette’s reaction.
“You have a friend with benefits?” Juliette straightened her posture. “You’re seeing someone?” Her eyes grew wide.