French Kissing: Season One

by Harper Bliss

  The kiss was as much a shock to her system as seeing Inez again had been. At least, when she’d first walked into Inez during that orchestrated stroll down the hospital corridor alongside Nadia, Margot had been armed. She’d been prepared and had shut herself off. Now she opened up, lips first, and let Inez in again, eventhough it was probably the biggest mistake of her life.

  The kiss was soft and tender and instantly recognisable. It changed everything.

  “I still love you, Go-Go,” Inez said, their lips still almost touching. “I will always love you.”

  Margot wanted to hate herself for what she said next, for such an obvious display of weakness and betrayal towards Claire. “I love you too.”

  It was complicated and difficult and painful, but it was, also, as deadly simple as that.

  JULIETTE

  “Close the door behind you, please.” Juliette was nervous and she knew it showed. She watched Sybille shut the door and sit down in the chair opposite her desk. The chair she’d sat in every morning for a chat when she brought her coffee, until they’d slept together.

  Sybille looked impeccable again, dressed for a board meeting in a navy Chanel suit and crisp white blouse. Maybe she really did have a wealthy girlfriend, because Barbier & Cyr surely didn’t pay her enough that she could afford to buy designer suits.

  “I have great news.” Juliette stretched her lips the furthest they would go, into one of the most fake smiles she’d ever managed.

  “You want an encore?” Sybille half-grinned, her eyes sparkling.

  This was exactly the reason why she had to leave the company.

  “No.” Juliette’s tone was firm, her nerves quickly dissolving. “But you are a wanted woman.”

  “Really?” Sybille arched up her eyebrows.

  “Marc Dujardin, the CEO of Johnson PR wants to hire you. I have the proposal here.” Juliette slid a folder over her desk in Sybille’s direction. “It’s a very attractive package.”

  Sybille eyed the papers, but didn’t reach for them. “Funny that,” she said.

  Juliette should have known she wouldn’t have made it easy on her. “Please, have a look.” She made an inviting gesture towards the folder with her hand.

  “So this is how you try to get rid of me. I bet you’ll make me sign a confidentiality agreement as well.” She simply uncrossed and crossed her legs again, not making any moves towards opening the folder. “I would have expected more honesty from someone who has fucked me.”

  Something I deeply regret. Juliette smiled away her uncomfortableness. Her job was not to make this into a verbal sparring match. She just needed to handle this as gracefully as possible. “Fine. Let’s be honest. You can’t be my assistant anymore, but, instead of ending your contract—because you are still in your trial period—we’ve lined this up for you. I made a mistake. I shouldn’t have slept with you.”

  “And this is your bribe…” Sybille sat there nodding, as if she knew every little secret of the universe. “And your way of keeping me quiet about Dominique Laroche.” She looked out of the window for a split second, before her eyes landed back on Juliette, a harsh coldness glinting in them. “How generous.”

  Sybille was made out of ambition, and it burned much brighter in people like her than any inkling of feelings she might actually have for Juliette. She would take the deal.

  “I guess I have no choice.” She started to lean forward a little bit. “Even though I know very well that I’m not the first junior member of staff to end up in bed with someone from management. And look where that got them…” She narrowed her eyes. “I guess I learned the valuable lesson that PR is never a fair game.”

  Juliette wanted to point out all the differences between Sybille and Steph, but wisely held her tongue. “I’m sorry it had to go this way.”

  “I bet.” Sybille finally grabbed the folder from Juliette’s desk and leafed through it. Juliette saw her eyes widen slightly as she speed-read through it—probably when she saw the proposed salary, which was a twenty-five percent bump from what Barbier & Cyr paid her. Claire had done a good job in making this an offer Sybille couldn’t refuse.

  “I’ll take it,” she said. “Where do I sign?”

  Juliette presented her with the necessary papers. “Johnson PR is lucky to have you.”

  Sybille scribbled her signature on a few dotted lines, put the pen Juliette provided her with down, and stood up. “I’m glad you think so.” She exited Juliette’s office without saying another word.

  Relieved, Juliette sagged into her chair, happy to have that ordeal behind her.

  MARGOT

  Margot didn’t use her key when she went to see Claire. It wouldn’t have been right.

  “Hey stranger,” Claire said. “Who are you again?” She leaned against the front door frame and slanted her head. “And what can I do for you?” A wide smile played on her lips. She had no idea.

  Margot couldn’t possibly play along this time. “Can I come in?” She tried to make her voice sound light and carefree, but she knew she failed miserably.

  “Of course.” Claire grabbed a fistful of the fabric of Margot’s t-shirt and yanked her inside. “I haven’t seen you in days, doctor. I want to eat you alive.” Obviously Claire’s attention was not focused on the gravitas in Margot’s voice.

  When Claire pulled Margot close for a kiss, Margot’s body went rigid. “I, uh, we need to talk.”

  With a look of stunned hurt on her face, Claire took a step back. “We do?”

  Margot could not recall a time in her life when she’d felt this utterly useless. The fact that she’d been hurt so badly herself didn’t make it easier. “Let’s sit.” She gestured at the sofa.

  “Just tell me.” Claire stood there, arms crossed over her chest, as if she already knew.

  “I’m so sorry.” Afraid her knees would buckle, Margot needed to lean against something. She shuffled closer to a hallway cabinet. “But I can’t do this. I really, truly believed I could, otherwise I would never have let it come this far, but I was wrong.”

  “What are you talking about?” Impatience and brooding anger seeped from Claire’s voice.

  “I still love her. Inez. She…” The speech Margot had carefully prepared slipped from her mind at the sight of Claire’s crumpling face. Margot rushed over to her. “I’m so sorry.” If she said she was sorry one more time she’d have to slap herself.

  “Don’t touch me,” Claire said and took another step back. She glared at Margot, grinding her teeth. “I don’t understand. The other day…” As if the news just hit her, she sought support against the nearby wall.

  “You don’t deserve this, I know. This is all on me. You are an amazing woman, the only one who—”

  “Clearly not amazing enough to match up to your bloody wonderful ex.” Tears started leaking from Claire’s eyes. “I’m in love with you, for heaven’s sake. I haven’t felt like this about anybody in years and now you stand there and tell me that it’s over? Because Inez Larue came back from curing sick children in the desert and you simply can’t resist her?” She blew air through her nostrils in quick puffs. “I—” She tapped her chest and just shook her head.

  Not even saying goodbye to Inez at the airport when she’d left for Rwanda had felt as dreadful as this, as if she were taking away someone’s life force.

  “What can I do?” Claire asked. “There must be something I can do.” She wiped the tears from her cheeks, as if preparing to do battle. “I’m not losing you, not like this.”

  Margot couldn’t hold the tears back either. She leaned against the wall as well, mirroring Claire’s position.

  “If you need some time, I can give you time. I mean, I’ve waited long enough for someone like you to come along… or, have you? Are you back together with her?”

  Margot shook her head. “No, we talked and… we kissed.”

  “You can’t let her do this to us.” Claire grabbed Margot by the t-shirt again. “I thought you were strong.”

&nb
sp; “I’m not.” Defeated, Margot shook her head, tears running down her cheeks, staining her t-shirt. “Not when it comes to her.”

  “Not even for me?” Claire’s voice broke, along with Margot’s heart, in a thousand pieces.

  “I wish I was.” It wasn’t a lie. “Maybe I need time, I don’t know. All I know is that this is not fair on you. I can’t string you along like that. I’m not just going to get back together with her but… it’s too much. I see her every day and, sometimes, just looking at her feels like betraying you.”

  “She broke your heart.”

  “I know,” Margot said. And now I’ve broken yours.

  “Go. Please. Go.” Claire started sinking through her knees, a sniffling mess against the wall.

  “I’ll call Nadia and Juliette. I’ll ask them to come over.”

  “No,” Claire shook her head. “You’ve done enough.”

  “Okay.” Margot couldn’t do anything but leave Claire in the state she was in—the state she’d put her in—and deposit her key on the hallway cabinet on the way out.

  NADIA

  Nadia could say she’d give Juliette another chance all she wanted, but she wouldn’t know if she had actually meant it until they took the leap. Juliette had done her bit by firing Sybille, not something Nadia had insisted upon—although it helped—but more an act of goodwill.

  She showed up at their flat with another suitcase full of clothes that had made their way to Margot’s over the weeks they’d spent apart. Every time the front door opened though, a flash of panic shot through her. A pang of fear of finding Sybille standing behind Juliette in the hallway again. A recurring surge of the dread she’d felt when she’d come to tell Juliette about Marie Dievart.

  Whereas before their life together had always been relatively trouble-free, now they had a joint past that was worrisome. And of course it was foolish to believe that one act of betrayal could just erase the other, but what other choice did they have but forgiveness? If they truly wanted to put this behind them, they had to at least try.

  Nadia was scared, however, because she knew, more than anything, that this would be their last chance. If this failed, they were done. And above all that, she knew that she had to take the lead. Not only when they decided to sleep together again—which could well happen tonight—but also in their slow conversations about what it would take to heal and move on.

  “I opened a bottle of wine,” Juliette said, after Nadia had entered the flat, they’d greeted each other with a still awkward peck on the cheek, and Nadia had deposited her suitcase in the bedroom.

  “Maybe we should try without wine, babe.” Nadia stood a bit forlornly in the living room. God, she wanted a glass of wine so badly.

  “Seriously?” Juliette eyed her with skeptical curiosity in her glance.

  Nadia nodded. “It’s one change I feel compelled to make. At least tonight.”

  “Okay.” Juliette sat down in the sofa. Nadia took the seat next to her.

  “It feels so good to be back.” She extended her arm and touched Juliette’s thigh. The last time they’d sat in the living room together, Juliette had made a play for her. Advances Nadia had had no choice but to reject.

  Juliette found Nadia’s hand with hers. “Good to have you back.”

  The scene was tender and awkward at the same time. Nadia was bursting with good intentions, but simultaneously, it felt as if she didn’t know how to kiss her partner anymore—or if it would even be an appropriate thing to do.

  Juliette turned to her, found her eyes. “I need to say this, okay?”

  Nadia nodded, gripping Juliette’s hand tighter.

  “What happened with Sybille was madness. I was lonely and hurt and, honestly, it could not have meant less. When it came down to it, there was nothing between us. Not a spark.”

  Nadia could tell by the look In Juliette’s eyes that she spoke the truth. “I know. It was just a shock seeing her here, especially because of what I had come to say.”

  “What had you come to say?” Hope flickered in Juliette’s glance.

  Nadia took a deep breath. “That I was wrong to blame it all on you. That about sums it up.”

  “I wasn’t here. For a long time, while eating dinner with you, or while watching TV, my head was elsewhere. It’s only normal that we drifted apart, but, as usual, I was waiting for you to fix it all.”

  “That’s what I should have done. It’s my—”

  “No.” Juliette stopped her, shaking her head. “We can try to assign blame all we want. Divide it neatly amongst the two of us. Maybe it will even make us feel better, but we must look at the future, not dwell on the past.”

  Nadia was impressed with Juliette’s positive, forward-thinking outlook. In the past year, assigning blame had been one of her favourite hobbies. “I’ve missed you so much, babe. Not just these past few weeks. I’ve missed you for months.” She tugged at Juliette’s arm, pulling her closer. “I’ve missed this.” She cupped Juliette’s chin in her palms and drew her near for a kiss.

  “Take me like you did the very first time.” Juliette’s eyes smouldered with desire, with the need to erase and go back. To undo things. Perhaps she had been thinking back at their first encounter as well. At the significance and the innocence of that first date.

  “I could try,” Nadia gasped. “But we have ten years between us now.” She hoisted Juliette on top of her. “Back then…” She slid her hand underneath Juliette’s blouse, in search of the cup of her bra. While her fingers roamed across Juliette’s skin, Nadia kept her eyes on Juliette’s until she squeezed a rock-hard nipple between her thumb and index finger. “…I didn’t know how crazy this could make you.” Juliette’s breath caught in her throat, her muscles flexing. “And this.” Nadia slanted her head and inched closer until her teeth hovered over Juliette’s earlobe. She bit down while simultaneously pinching Juliette’s nipple again.

  Nadia could only guess at the wetness spreading between Juliette’s legs, but for years, this had been the only foreplay she’d needed. Tonight, it wouldn’t be like that, though. Tonight was about reacquaintance, recommitting and remembering the good things between them. Trying to find that joint frequency again. It couldn’t be frantic like all the times they’d tried to resurrect their relationship with a quick frenzy of thrusting fingers in between mind games.

  “Come on,” Nadia loosened the grip of her teeth on Juliette’s ear and whispered. “I hope you don’t have a busy day tomorrow because I plan to keep you up all night.”

  Then Nadia’s phone started ringing. She ignored it as long as she could, until it started ringing again, along with Juliette’s.

  CLAIRE

  While Claire waited for Juliette to arrive, she drank vodka straight from the bottle, desperately trying to numb the acute pain in her soul. She’d asked Juliette to come alone because the last thing she wanted was to stare Juliette and Nadia’s magical reunion in the face. They were probably kidding themselves as much as she had fooled herself.

  Most of her thoughts were occupied by images of Doctor Inez Larue. Why else would she have invested so much of her time last Saturday into a conversation with Claire, if not to stab her in the back royally after? It wasn’t that Margot had confessed to having kissed Inez that hurt the most either—it was the simple fact that she loved Inez more than Claire. It’s too much, she had said.

  Words that were etched in Claire’s memory forever.

  Claire jumped when the bell rang. For an instant she hoped it was Margot who had come back to tell her she’d made a big mistake.

  Juliette wrapped her arms around Claire the second she walked in. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I truly believed she was one of the good ones.”

  “She was,” Claire said, strangely devoid of tears now.

  They sat down and Claire drank more vodka before speaking. “I love her. I haven’t said that about anyone in a very long time, but I love her. How bloody ironic is that?” She shook her head. “And I can’t fight for her be
cause I can’t possibly compete with what she had with Inez. But fuck, it hurts.” She took another swig. “She was a good one. Too good. That damned doctor without borders, though… The things I want to do to her.”

  “You can, you know. You can fight for her.” Juliette said it with such passion and Claire wanted to believe it so desperately, but she’d seen the look in Margot’s eyes. “What are they going to do? Pick up where they left things? Margot doesn’t strike me as the kind of person who would do that, regardless of any leftover feelings she may have.” She reached out her hand, demanding the bottle. “Give me that.” She sipped from it and made a face. “That’s ghastly.” She handed the bottle back. “I’ve told you this before. You’re a catch, and you’re not the one who broke Margot’s heart before.”

  “If I’m such a catch, why does everyone I ever really care about end up leaving me?” Claire slouched in the sofa and drank more.

  “You’re not referring to me, are you?” Juliette poked her elbow in Claire’s ribs. “We were two big bottoms. What were we ever going to do with each other?” She held out her hand again. “And look at us now. Still best friends after all these years.”

  “Years you’ve spent with someone who loves you by your side.” Claire didn’t want to go back to having friends with benefits to meet her sexual needs. Now that she’d had a taste of what it was like to fall in love again, she was no longer interested in casual flings. She wasn’t like Steph, protecting her heart at great cost to her love life. She’d never been like that. She’d just been selective, until Margot had entered the scene.

  “As you well know, it’s not all sunshine and roses.” Juliette sipped from the bottle again before giving it back to Claire.

  “I think we should tell Steph to go on holiday with Dominique.” Claire was starting to feel the effects of the booze. She hadn’t had dinner—expecting to have a meal with Margot.