by Harper Bliss
Nadia hoped that, despite her inexplicable case of jitters, Juliette would be able to enjoy the party. It wasn’t as if she’d prepared the meal all by herself—and that Nadia wasn’t around to help her.
Juliette re-entered the living room with Steph and Dominique in tow. Nadia recognised her from TV, and that image in the newspaper that had shown her raising her hand proudly in the Assemblée, not a flicker of doubt on her face. Perhaps it was foolish, but she felt strangely honoured to have Dominique Laroche attend her birthday party.
“Happy birthday, Nadz.” Steph’s eyes sparkled. “Nadia. Dominique. And vice versa.” She threw her hands around in an agitated fashion.
“Thank you very much for inviting me into your home.” Dominique widened her arms and placed her hands on Nadia’s shoulders. “Et joyeux anniversaire.” The députée pecked Nadia on both cheeks, giving her frame a firm squeeze in the process.
“Enchantée,” Nadia said, and she really was slightly enchanted by the star power Dominique exuded.
The bell rang again. Their friends knew to arrive on time for a party that Juliette had planned. Juliette got the door while Nadia invited Steph and her girlfriend—it felt so strange to think of, first of all, Steph having one and, secondly, referring to Dominique Laroche that way—to sit.
Claire walked in, looking marginally better than the last time Nadia had seen her, although, when they embraced, through the scent of freshly brushed teeth, Nadia could smell a faint whiff of alcohol on her breath. Claire greeted Dominique casually, pecking her on the cheeks as if she were an old friend.
The four of them sat around the coffee table while Juliette poured champagne. Nadia caught her glancing at the clock, quite possibly inwardly cursing Margot for being a few minutes late—but Margot worked the ER and being late could never be held against her.
“We might as well—” Juliette started to say, when the chime of the bell cut through the chatter in the living room. “Please excuse me.”
Nadia could see Claire stiffen. Steph, who sat next to her, patted her on the thigh. Claire quickly took a sip of champagne without waiting for Juliette’s welcome speech.
Nadia rose when Margot, who was hiding behind her familiar mask of steel, walked into the living room. She hugged her and introduced her to Dominique. Margot kissed Claire furtively on the cheek, barely touching her, and when she sat down next to Nadia, the atmosphere in the room had noticeably changed.
Nadia had hoped Claire and Margot would have met up prior to this evening to at least clear the air, but Juliette had told her that Claire expected Margot to make the first move and Nadia knew Margot was—as per usual—taking her time.
“Thank you all for coming,” she said while raising her glass. She let her eyes roam across all of their faces. Steph basked in Dominique’s presence, she sat more upright, more aware of herself maybe, and an edginess had worked its way into her gestures, undoing her usual nonchalance. She was nervous about bringing Dominique here, Nadia could tell, but she looked happy.
Nadia didn’t know Dominique and, therefore, couldn’t tell if the pride in her glance came from stepping out with her girlfriend, or if it was just how she carried herself through life.
Already, Claire couldn’t keep her eyes off Margot. Her gaze appeared unfocused though, as if, either she was ready to burst into tears at any moment, or she’d knocked back more than a few before arriving. Quite possibly both.
Margot didn’t move a muscle, her face unreadable. Nadia knew she would mellow—or that she would at least try. God, she was glad she hadn’t allowed her to leave Saint-Vincent, that she had spoken to Inez behind Margot’s back and against her wish. The stoic doctor had, despite falling apart, become one of her best friends.
Then there was Juliette who, now that she had a glass of champagne in her hand, seemed to relax a little. She allowed the strand of hair she’d been battling with earlier to fall onto her cheek, and her lips were drawn into an easy smile. From the start, and despite falling hard for her, Nadia had known that Juliette Barbier would never be an easy person to love. Nadia loved her all the more for it.
She let her gaze dart around the room and a smile slid along her lips. For all the tension in the room, and all the heartbreak that had caused it, these people were her life. She found Juliette’s eyes and clinked the rim of her glass against hers.
“Thank you,” she said.
MARGOT
Margot hadn’t seen Claire since that evening she’d walked out on her. It seemed that, since then, everything had changed all over again. Although Nadia had only briefly mentioned it, the thought had been stuck in her mind ever since: Claire had gone on a date. No matter the fact that Nadia had clearly stated it had been a disaster, Claire had taken conscious steps to set up a rendez-vous with another woman. Margot could hardly hold it against her—after all, she had slept with Inez—but it stung just the same.
“Shall we eat?” Juliette said and, automatically, Margot stood up. She was the first to leave her seat, towering over the other women awkwardly.
“I’m starving.” Claire rose quickly, taking a step towards Margot, as if coming to her rescue. Her eyes were a bit watery when they landed on Margot’s. “Do you need help, Jules?” Claire looked away from her, and even that hurt. Claire didn’t wait for Juliette’s answer and headed towards the kitchen.
“Are there assigned places?” Steph asked Nadia with a chuckle.
“Probably, but just sit where you want,” Nadia replied.
The following minutes passed in a rumble of scratching chair feet and plates clattering against plates as Juliette and Claire deposited starters on the table. Margot hadn’t really paid much attention, but with the couples drifting towards sitting together naturally, she found herself seated next to Claire once they’d all taken their place.
“Before we start eating,” Claire said, successfully ignoring—or, at least so it seemed to Margot—the fact that she was sitting next to her ex, their elbows practically touching. “Let’s toast to Dominique, who stood up for us this week.”
“Hear, hear.” Juliette raised her glass and all the others followed suit.
“No need to thank me, it was more a symbolic gesture, really,” Dominique said. “And well, this one has her own ways of persuading me to go against my party.” She poked Steph in the bicep.
“I’ll make a Socialist out of you yet,” Steph said.
Dominique turned to her. “There are limits to dirty talk, sweetheart. You know what happens when you push them.”
“Oooh,” Claire cooed next to Margot, making her break out into a cold sweat.
* * *
After finishing the starter, as Margot helped clear the plates, she could feel Claire come up behind her in the kitchen. She turned around. It was just the two of them. Perhaps orchestrated by Claire or perhaps pure coincidence.
“I heard she left.” Claire’s voice was low and still full of reproach.
I heard you went on a date, Margot wanted to say, but the time for unfair comments had long passed. She just nodded, thrown by Claire’s presence in the small quarters of the kitchen.
“Were you going to let me know at all?”
This question knocked Margot off guard. “Clearly, you already know.”
“Right.” Claire nodded sternly while arching up her eyebrows.
“I’m sorry.” Margot knew she had to regroup quickly.
“Please don’t tell me you’re sad to see her go.” A bitter grin crept along Claire’s face.
“Claire, I, uh, I want to talk to you. Explain things better, if you’ll let me.” Margot heard her voice waver. “Only, last time, you made it quite clear that you—”
“Stop. Just stop.” Claire held up her hands and shook her head. “This—” She let her hands slide through the air between them, from Margot’s head until they pointed at her toes. “—is not the woman I fell for. This grovelling, weak mess.” She inched closer. “You’re going to have to try a little harder. I can’t do any
thing with a bunch of meek apologies.” She threw Margot one last glance, before turning around and leaving the kitchen.
Margot found support against the sink, folding her fingers around the counter.
“Hey.” Juliette’s face appeared in the doorframe. “I hate to interrupt, but I need to get the mains out.”
“Of course. Sure.” Margot straightened her posture.
“Wait up,” Juliette said, grabbing Margot by the wrist. “Some unsolicited advice, if you don’t mind.” She fixed her eyes on Margot. “Just be yourself and she’ll come crawling back in no time.” She confirmed her statement with a swift nod of the head.
As Margot exited the kitchen, she wondered where she’d left herself—if she’d left with Inez, again.
When she approached the dining table and saw Claire sitting there, her eyes resting coolly on Margot as she inched closer, one arm slung back on Margot’s empty chair, she knew she’d better find her lost self quickly.
JULIETTE
“Don’t we usually have coffee with the birthday cake, Jules?” Steph asked as Juliette deposited fresh champagne glasses on the table.
“Yes, but today will be unusual.” Nerves crept up her spine as she walked to the fridge to fetch the bottle she’d saved for this moment. She popped the cork with a bang, causing a frisson of excitement to ripple though the room.
After distributing the glasses, Juliette cleared her throat. Fuck. This was it. She’d memorised the speech, rehearsed it countless times in her head. She could do this.
Five pairs of eyes stared at her expectantly.
“I would like to propose a toast to this gorgeous woman sitting here.” She put a hand on Nadia’s shoulder. “Whose birthday we’re celebrating today, and who I am lucky enough to call my partner of ten years.” Gosh, was this all not too formal? “You all know that the last three months have been the most challenging of our relationship, but here we are. On the other end of this crisis that, quite frankly, ripped me apart.” She could already feel the first tear burning behind her eyes. “It made me realise that without her, without you, babe,” Juliette turned to Nadia, “I’m only half the woman I can be.” She took strength from the sweet smile Nadia sent her way. Everyone was silent, despite Juliette having expected a few wisecracks from Steph and Claire at this point. “You know me better than anyone. Put up with all my bitchy moods. Make me a better person.” A lone tear slid down Juliette’s cheek. “You understand me and accept me for who I am and I love you with everything I have.” Juliette swallowed a lump out of her throat. “So, without further ado.” Juliette let her hand slip from Nadia’s shoulder and slid it into her back pocket. “I would like to ask you…” She produced a red velvet box from her pocket and held it in front of her. She’d practiced this bit in front of the mirror. Falling on one knee, she opened the box. “If you would do me the unspeakable honour of becoming my wife.”
The room had been silent before, but now it seemed frozen in a stunned sort of quiet, time standing still. Juliette watched Nadia’s jaw slacken, her fingers covering her open mouth.
Hot tears streaked Juliette’s cheeks as she looked up at Nadia, her heart hammering furiously beneath her chest.
“Mon dieu,” Nadia exclaimed. “Are you? Is this?” Her eyes widened as she rose from her chair. “Yes,” she screamed then. “A thousand times yes.” She crouched next to Juliette and looked her in the eyes. “Yes.” Nadia planted her palms on Juliette’s cheeks and drew her close for a kiss. It was sloppy, their lips soaked with tears. “I love you.” Nadia rubbed a bit of wetness off of Juliette’s cheekbone with her thumb. “And I can’t believe it.”
Juliette lifted the ring from its cushion in the box. “Give me your hand, babe.”
Nadia’s fingers trembled as she raised her hand. Juliette had to steady it with her own to slip the ring over her finger.
Having spent the past few minutes in a bubble of just her and Nadia, Juliette slowly became aware of other sounds again. Chairs screeching. Hands clapping. Noses running.
“Jesus christ, Jules. You nearly gave me a heart attack.” Claire stood beside her, towering over her—Juliette was still down on one knee. “For someone who doesn’t believe in marriage, you sure made a statement.”
Juliette rose, holding on to Nadia’s hand. She had wanted to do this in front of their friends, had wanted to make that statement.
“Congratulations,” Claire said, and hugged them both.
Juliette looked over at Nadia, who still appeared rather perplexed by the turn of events. She pulled her close. “I believe in us,” she whispered in her ear. “I believe in you and me.”
“You’ve just turned me into a hopeless romantic.” Steph approached them, her eyes wet with tears. “I’m so happy for the pair of you.” Dominique came up behind her.
“Thank you,” Juliette said to the députée. “Without what you did, I wouldn’t have been able to do this.” More hugs were exchanged and congratulations offered.
“Félicitations.” Margot was last in line, her voice destroyed by emotion.
Juliette held her tight for a minute. “Love is love,” she whispered in Margot’s ear. “And she loves you.” Juliette felt her own throat swell again, a new wave of tears gathering behind her eyes.
“Please grab your glasses,” Nadia said, their hands still intertwined. “I’d like to say something as well.” She wrapped her fingers a bit more tightly around Juliette’s. Dominique offered them both their glasses, and all six of them stood around the dining table.
“If I can stop sniffling, that is,” Nadia said.
Juliette squeezed her hand for support. She had the same problem, but she was done with making speeches for the night.
“My lovely Jules.” Nadia turned her body so she half-faced Juliette. “To say that you’ve blindsided me with this, would be an understatement.” Her voice sounded drenched with love. Giggles erupted around them. “But, that being said, I can’t wait to become your wife. The day I say ‘I do’ to you will be the proudest of my life.” The last words barely made it out of her throat.
Juliette stared into Nadia’s face, at the emotion on display, her moist brown eyes and her lips alternately being tugged into a smile and a grimace because of all the crying. She put her champagne glass on the table and threw her arms around Nadia—her fiancée.
“Oh jesus, if this is anything to go by, imagine what a sob fest the wedding will be,” Steph said, followed by an offended, “Ouch.”
“You’re ruining the moment.” Juliette recognised Dominique’s voice.
“Sod the speeches.” Nadia pulled herself free from Juliette’s hug. “Let’s celebrate.” She raised her glass and looked around the room. “To all of us.”
Juliette quickly grabbed her glass off the table and held it high. “And to love,” she added. “If I, with all my faults and shortcomings, can snatch a woman like Nadia, there’s hope for all of us.” She smiled at the sight of her friends, halting the roaming of her glance at Claire. And none of us would be standing here, celebrating my engagement, if it hadn’t been for forgiveness, she wanted to say to her best friend. But she knew, that, just as had been the case with herself, Claire would find her own way out.
CLAIRE
After they’d all sat down again and Nadia had cut the birthday cake—a rather anti-climactic event after all that had come before—Claire found herself mere inches away from Margot again. She’d been struck by the visible display of emotions on Margot’s face at the proposal and Claire was sorry she’d been so hard on her earlier.
Because Claire felt it too. The jubilant presence of love in the room. It stared her in the face. Twice. Her best friend had just proposed to the love of her life while Steph and her secret lover had witnessed it. Dominique had planted a slew of spontaneous kisses on every patch of Steph’s skin she could find after the speeches, while Nadia and Juliette had fallen into embrace after embrace. All the while, she and Margot had barely managed a timid smile, had scarcely looked at each
other.
Claire knew she had every right to be angry, after the break-up and Margot’s pathetic performance at her flat the other week. But now, surrounded by all this love, by the evidence of what a simple bout of forgiveness could achieve—although Claire was far from convinced it was all that simple—a layer of hardness had started to peel away. And then there was the additional fact that Inez had left.
Clearly, Margot was a mess. But wasn’t the simple fact that she was in such a state of disarray evidence of how deeply she loved? She had told Claire, from the very beginning, that she’d been hurt and needed to go slow. She hadn’t asked for Inez to come back. Nobody would ever wish to be so thrown off kilter. She’d clearly handled it wrong, but what if this was their second chance?
Looking straight ahead, trying to tune back into the conversation briefly, Claire put her hand on Margot’s knee under the table. Underneath her fingers, she felt Margot’s muscles harden. Instantly, it sent a jolt of electricity into her bloodstream. She took a deep breath and turned to Margot.
“Love won,” she said, digging her fingers deeper into Margot’s jeans. “Let’s talk.” Claire felt how her hand was being covered by Margot’s, their fingers intertwining.
“Please excuse us for a moment.” Margot shoved her chair back and rose. Because of their hands being conjoined, Claire had to follow her example and scrambled out of her chair.
“Of course,” Juliette said.
Claire barely caught the quick wink Juliette shot her before Margot dragged her through the hallway into Nadia and Juliette’s guest room. Margot closed the door behind them and let go of Claire’s hand.
“I—” Claire started saying.
“No.” Margot had her hands on her hips, staring at her with a look that set Claire’s insides on fire. “My turn to talk.”
Claire just nodded and sat down on the edge of the bed, allowing Margot to tower over her.
“I was ready to leave. After our last talk, I was going to pack up and skip town. Leave this mess, everything, behind. A coward move, I know.” She let her hands slide from her hips, as though in defeat. “When I looked in the mirror, I didn’t recognise myself, and, in the end, I’m glad the decision wasn’t left solely up to me. Nadia talked to Inez and Inez decided that she should be the one to leave, not me. The point is, I was ready to forsake myself. To give it all up.” She clenched her fists into tight balls. “I am not a coward, Claire. But there I was.” Shaking her head, she pinned her eyes on Claire. “And you know why?” Margot swallowed something out of her throat. “Because what Nadia said to me the other day was true. I am more principled than others. I always try to do better, achieve more, be—” She interrupted herself with a chuckle. “—more pure and honest than anyone else… and for what?” Scoffing at herself, she stepped forward and crashed down next to Claire on the bed. “I can sit here and try to tell myself I lost myself because of love, because I loved too much and it hurt too much, but if that’s the case, it’s only because I let it.” She turned to Claire and held out her hand. Claire put hers on top of it.