“I’ve had a lot of time to think since I left here,” he began, his back to Meghan.
She closed her eyes, steeling herself, afraid he was about to speak words that would forever remove him from her life. She opened her eyes and looked at him, the rigid posture, the energy that wafted from him. Something was definitely on his mind.
Too late, a voice of dread whispered inside her. You waited too long to tell him you love him enough to allow him to be what he needs to be. “Seth…I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, too…”
He whirled around and held up a hand to stop her from speaking any further. “I’ve waited two long days to say this to you, I need to say it now.”
She nodded…fear cascading over her like an icy waterfall.
“The day my father died, my mother commented that she should have never asked him to quit his job. She said my dad was never the same when he stopped being an FBI agent.” He raked a hand through his shaggy hair and took a step toward her. “I’d forgotten that, at least consciously. But unconsciously I think it’s always been with me. Every time I thought of quitting my job, terror would overwhelm me.”
He took two steps to his left, then three to the right, his pacing irregular as torment played on his features. “That panic was horrible. My chest would ache, my heart would pound, and I was certain if I quit I would die.”
“Oh, Seth, why didn’t you tell me?” Meghan eyed him beseechingly.
He stopped his pacing and looked at her, his eyes dark pools of emotion. “How could I tell anyone that? I’m a SPEAR agent. I’m supposed to be brave and strong and courageous. How could I admit to an irrational, terrifying fear?”
He walked over and knelt in front of her. “I was afraid that if I quit my job I’d end up like my father, that I’d eat the end of my gun like he had. And if that happened, what good could I be to you and Kirk?”
He took her hands in his and she felt a small trembling in his. “But recognizing where that fear was coming from has freed me from it. I am not my father and I would never do to Kirk what he did to me. Meghan, I love you. I want you to be my wife again. I’m not afraid anymore. I’ll quit my job if that’s what it takes for us to be a family again. You and Kirk are the real important things to me.”
Meghan’s heart expanded to fill her with warmth and joy. She squeezed Seth’s hands and shook her head. “No, Seth, it would never work, not that way. You were born to be a SPEAR agent, and I can’t…I won’t take that away from you. The only way we can be a family is if you keep your job, but promise me you’ll be extra careful out in the field so you always come home to me and your son.”
His eyes flared wide with surprise and he stood, pulling her up and into his arms. “Are you sure?” He seemed to hold his breath as he waited for her to reply.
“I’m positive.” She placed her hands on either side of his face, loving the feel of his scratchy whiskers against her palms. “I love you, Seth, and I realized these past two days that it doesn’t matter whether we’re together or not. Even if we are apart, I still love you. I still worried and I still prayed for your safe return.”
She smiled as she felt his heartbeat quicken against her own. “I can either entertain the worry and fear and we won’t be together, or I can take comfort in the knowledge that when you come home, we’ll be together, loving each other for whatever time we have between missions. I fell in love with a SPEAR field operative, and I’d be happy to be married to a field operative.”
She was unable to say another word as his lips captured hers in a kiss that stole her breath and sent desire shooting through her body.
“Oh, Meghan,” he murmured as their fiery kiss ended. “I thought it might be too late. I thought my stubbornness might have ruined things for us.”
She pressed her body into his, reveling in the tightness of his arms around her. “And I was afraid of the same thing. I was so afraid I’d waited too late to realize I want you in my life any way I can get you.”
He cupped her face with his hands. “You’ve got me, Meg. For today, for tomorrow…for always. Marry me, Meghan. Marry me and make me the happiest man on earth.”
“I’ll marry you on one condition…if you continue doing fieldwork.” She gazed at him, loving the spring green of his eyes that promised warmth and life. “The man I love is a man who believes what he’s fighting for, a man committed to a great cause, a man I can’t imagine being…doing anything else. I love you, Seth.”
Again he covered her lips with possession and in his kiss, Meghan tasted the sweet passion, the laughter, the very love of their future together.
He stiffened as the phone rang. “I’ll get it,” he said and released her to pick up the receiver of the phone on the end table.
Instantly his tension was back and his eyes glittered with the flow of energy. “Yeah…yeah…no.” He spoke in monosyllables and Meghan recognized instinctively that he was speaking to somebody from SPEAR.
Her heart thudded anxiously. Had she gotten him back only to lose him again so quickly? They’d only had five minutes to cement their future together. She wanted more time.
He spoke into the receiver, so low Meghan couldn’t hear his words, then he hung up. He shoved his hands in his pockets and gazed at her. “Simon escaped from the Madrileño military.”
“Oh, no!” Meghan gasped.
“And he’s taken a hostage, a SPEAR operative named Margarita Alfonsa de las Fuentes.” He raked a hand through his hair. “Details are pretty sketchy at the moment. Jonah found out when he was flying to Madrileño. Now he’s on his way back to headquarters.”
“And you need to leave.” She tried to keep her voice as emotionless as possible, even though her heart ached with the brevity of their time together.
“Yeah, I’ve got to leave.” He walked back over to where she stood and pulled her into his embrace. She closed her eyes, burrowing deeper, closer against him. “But I’m not going to Madrileño,” he said against her ear. “I told them this is one rescue mission they have to handle without me.”
Meghan tilted her head back to look at him. “Then where are you going?” she asked.
That light…the flames of fire danced in his eyes, warming Meghan as if she’d swallowed the fire and it now resided inside her. “I’m due a little rest and relaxation and I’m going with my wife and my son on our honeymoon. I know a great resort in California that will be just perfect for a honeymoon.”
“Seth….” She managed only to get his name out before his mouth was on hers, shooting the flames of desire, the blaze of love, hotter and higher inside her.
As Meghan kissed Seth, she knew this time they were going to make it. Their first instincts had been right. They belonged together. They had gone from intimate strangers to soul mates and they were going to spend a lifetime together, raising their son amid laughter, and passion and love.
Special thanks and acknowledgment are given to Carla Cassidy for her contribution to the A Year of Loving Dangerously series.
ISBN: 978-1-4592-1750-8
STRANGERS WHEN WE MARRIED
Copyright © 2000 by Harlequin Books S.A.
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Table of Contents
Letter to Reader
Dedication
Letter to Reader
Contents
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Copyright
Strangers When We Married Page 18