When the doors swung open into the hallway she quickened her pace, anxious to get away. Slipping her arm away from Thade’s she hurried back toward the foyer where they’d first met, wanting nothing more than to put enough distance between them that he would be unable to call out to her in fear of drawing attention.
“Leyna –”
She didn’t acknowledge his voice. They were almost out of the hallway. In the presence of the courtiers in the foyer, she would be safe. Their conversation would have no choice but to cease until whenever Thade managed to get her alone again. And she had no intention of allowing that to happen. Not after the last time. That brief instant in the garden haunted her still. Thade’s company now did nothing to ease the hurt she felt inside. Everything was too confusing! It was so much easier when their meetings were only occasional and chaperoned by Feolan. She didn’t trust herself in Thade’s presence alone. Her feelings were becoming too much for her to control.
From behind her she could hear footsteps approaching, quick and light. Desperate, she tried to move faster. Their hurried pace was already summoning unwanted glances from the courtiers now filling the palace, refreshed after their previous evening’s excursions. Why was he chasing her? She’d hoped he would refrain from doing so in order to avoid the stares now directed at them. Begrudgingly she slowed.
“Leyna, is something wrong?” Thade asked, coming to stand at her side. She could see him scanning the room, taking in the watchful glances. “Why are you running away from me?”
“Because I already know the question you intend to ask, and I have no answer for you,” she stated firmly. There. She’d said it. Now if only he would leave her alone. The topic wasn’t one which could be discussed in the company of so many others.
Thade’s expression flinched. He was torn by the things he wanted to say and the things he couldn’t. She could see the conflict in every thoughtful line on his face. “I do not want to push you, Leyna, but I fail to see why the decision is so difficult for you to make. I thought you were ready to leave the mission. When last we spoke of it, the only thing holding you back was Kael.”
“I’m not discussing this here.”
“Then let us go somewhere else.”
“You have lost your mind,” she breathed, resuming her brisk pace toward her room. Where did he think they would go? The eyes would be everywhere. Curious. Waiting for them to do anything which might add to the stories. To disappear somewhere together would only make things worse and speaking openly wasn’t an option.
He remained behind her every step of the way. His pace was smoother than before. Less rushed. If she could just get to her room there would be no fear of facing him. Thade wouldn’t dare enter her private chambers with her alone. Not after the scene they’d already put on for everyone in the foyer. She could see the door coming into view up ahead. Just a few more steps. Her hand was on the knob, already stepping into the room. Thade reached out for her arm, attempting to keep her in the hallway, unable to manage a firm grip without risking injury to her. He paused, thinking briefly over what to do before stepping into the room after her, closing the door with a loud click.
“You cannot run away from this Leyna. The decision must be made before we return to Siscal. If you are leaving the mission, which I strongly suggest you do, it would be unwise to take you back to the inn where Kyros has given you lodging. We will need to think of another plan.”
“Do you have any idea what people are going to say about you being here with me?” Leyna hissed, stepping toward him to urge him closer to the door. “Do you not think they whisper enough about us as it is?”
“Propriety is not worth sacrificing your life.”
“You’re being overdramatic, Thade.”
“Am I?” he questioned, pushing forward to guide Leyna back to the center of the room with nothing more than his body. She was intimidated by him. The closeness between them was unnerving, sending her senses into a wave of panic. “My phrasing perhaps is a bit blunt, but if you think of the position you would be placing yourself in, returning to the mission would be next to suicide. Kyros and Damir know who you are. There is no more cover. No more hiding. The truth is out, and even the most clever of spies has to know when to cut their losses and move on.”
“But what if there is more to be learned?”
“You are no use to us dead.”
Exasperated, Leyna let her shoulders droop, pained to hear Thade speak in such a fashion. She was no use to them dead? Was that all it was about? Her service to the Queen? “So that is it, then? You want me out of there because I am more useful to you elsewhere?”
She could see the torment in Thade’s eyes. “I did not mean that,” he shook his head, reaching out to grasp Leyna lightly by her arms. “I want you out of there because I could not bear to see you hurt, knowing that I had an opportunity to prevent it. The suffering you have endured to this point lies on my shoulders already. Do not haunt me with the guilt of an unnecessary death. I care about you too much.”
“If it means so much to you, then why do you not order me? Command me to leave the mission. Why is that so difficult for you to do? Anyone else you would not tolerate this without making the decision for them.”
“Because I am not requesting this of you as your superior. I ask this of you as your friend. Do not go back there. Let me help you to start the life I should have provided upon your initial return to Siscal. This work was never my intention for you, and you know that. I was against it from the beginning, but you argued for your desire to feel your heart race to remind you that you are still alive. Haven’t you grown tired of the wolves yet?”
He was standing so close to her. Inside her chest she could feel the rapid flutter of her heart, breaths coming in short gasps. Why was she so out of breath? She could hear her own voice speaking the words Thade recalled, in the privacy of his study in Siscal. If only she’d known then what she knew now. It all had sounded so intriguing at the time. So exciting. There was nothing exciting about it anymore. Thade had known, even then. He’d argued with her, protesting her insistence. There are other ways to make your heart race than throwing yourself to the wolves…
Her heart was racing now, though she doubted that had been what Thade had in mind when he’d spoken those words to her. All she could think about now was him. His body. The desperation in his eyes. If her heart beat any faster, she feared her chest would explode. “I think I may have.”
Thade drew in a breath, the expression on his face revealing the uncertainty he felt at hearing her answer. “Is it true?” he asked, the words nothing more than a faint exhale from his lips. “You will return to Siscal with me and relinquish the mission?”
“How could I say no to you?” She chided herself silently for speaking what was in her mind. It was impossible to deny him. Whatever hold she once had over him, he now maintained the same power over her. As if he could ask for the world and she would sacrifice anything to give it to him. “What I mean is – I will do it for you. As a friend,” she nodded, swallowing hard, embarrassed by the slip of her tongue. “I hate to admit it, but you are right. Staying there is only hindering us at this point. I can learn nothing more from Oksuva, and Kael is too great of a risk. The only person with whom we might still be able to garner information is Kyros, and he will inevitably seek to destroy me. The details he can provide are better left for Zander to uncover. Once he does, I will be there to help you strategize a defense the way we did during the war.”
The relief in Thade’s eyes was immeasurable. For a moment she thought he might kiss her in his joy, instead leaning forward to lightly place his lips to her forehead. “You have lifted a great burden from my shoulders, Leyna,” he smiled, staring at her in admiration. “I am sorry if I was too forceful, but you must know how much this means to me.”
“I know,” she whispered. At first it had been less obvious, but the look on Thade’s face was all she needed to realize how happy he was. It made her heart swell with pride to know t
hat she had brought him such joy. “My belongings remain at the inn in Siscal. They will require me to return there for at least a few moments, but not long. Afterwards, we will have to think of where I will go. Outside of the mission, I have nothing. I have not had anything for years.”
“We will think of something on our way home,” he nodded, stepping away from her toward the door. “I will send for the carriage now. Have the chambermaid help you pack. We should be on the road before the day grows much later.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
The familiar landscape of Siscal brought heaviness to Leyna’s heart, reminding her of the dangers inherent to the area. Within the hour she would be at the inn. She feared Kyros would be there to greet her. To demand of her information about her time with Thade. There was nothing to be shared with Kyros. A meeting with him would only end in violence and she no longer desired to face him. She wanted away from him. Away from everything.
Thade remained quiet throughout the trip. He had acquired a constant look of deep and troubling thought, but when she inquired, he dismissed her politely, claiming he was fine. Tired from the journey. She couldn’t argue the fatigue she felt herself from the length of the trip, but it was obvious that Thade’s troubles went far deeper than that. The awkwardness of their meeting in the garden at the party in Mialan had left a gap between them which made it feel inappropriate for her to try and convince him to open up while their last conversation in her chambers made her heart flutter just thinking about hearing his voice.
Finally, when nearing the ranges of the mountains bordering Siscal, Thade tore his eyes away from the window, taking something from inside his jacket. It was a small box. Some type of wood comprised the shape, the finish worn away in spots, edges chipped. “I almost forgot,” he stated quietly. “Princess Chlora asked that I give this to you. A belated birthday present, as it were.”
Accepting it curiously, Leyna lifted the lid, peering inside as if afraid the contents might jump out. She found nothing so menacing. Instead it looked to be a ring. Pulling the lid away completely, she gazed down at it, amazed by the beauty of the design. The shape was feminine. Thin silver formed the band, widening at the face to reveal what resembled a family crest.
She glanced over to Thade questioningly. There had to be more to it. Some explanation. “Did she tell you anything about it? I do not understand why she would give this to me.”
“It was removed from Sarayi’s finger after her body was discovered by the Mialan guards,” he replied. “I recognized the crest instantly as that of the Evantine family. They have been very prominent in the Tanispan court for decades. I suggested to her that it would be better cared for in your possession than in some vault, collecting dust in that box. As I was able to confirm for her that you are the descendant of Sarayi, she gave in to my requests and offered it as a gift from the Mialan royal family. In their condolences for your loss.”
Holding the ring between her thumb and index finger, Leyna let the light play off the tiny jewels in the design, sparkling like new despite their apparent age. In the back of her mind, she recalled a vague image of the ring on her mother’s finger. It had meant little to her as a child. The details were skewed in memory, preventing her from retrieving a solid picture. But this looked familiar somehow. A piece of her mother there in her hand.
She slid it carefully onto her finger. It fit perfectly. Snug. Not too tight for comfort. She admired the skill in the design, miniature diamonds forming the blades of twin crossed swords along the crest. Sapphires created a band around the edges of a shield in the background, floral leaves cascading from the top and sides in graceful waves. It must have been expensive to make, though the cost would have been provided by some distant ancestor. Passed down through the generations of Evantine women. The natural line of the family.
“Did she know anything about what happened that day?” Leyna felt compelled to ask. This ring was a sign that someone had been there. Someone had found the bodies. Perhaps providing a proper burial. It only made sense that they would have investigated the matter. The deaths were too brutal. Too suspicious.
“Enough to add to my concerns about you returning to the inn at all,” he frowned. “The guards were able to take one man into custody who admitted his involvement in the assassination. He pled guilty in having participated in the death of Rohan while naming Damir responsible for killing Sarayi. That makes your situation far more precarious.”
“I have nowhere to go,” she argued. “I have no home – nothing to my name, if I do not at least return there for my things. My only refuge was Zander’s house and they all frequent it. I have conceded to leave the mission, but we have yet to determine where I will go. I cannot very well live with you. Society would never allow that, nor would it be wise for either of us, given Kael’s accusations.”
Thade fell silent again. His forehead creased in concentration, the time passing slowly before he spoke. “When Feolan married his first wife, he purchased a home near mine. It was not in use for very long, given the circumstances, and when they separated, he moved back in with me. His wife remained there for a few months before she moved away to have Teagan’s child. The house has been vacant ever since. It is still deeded to Feolan. You can consider it yours.”
She didn’t know what to say. The thought of having her own home was exciting and frightening at the same time. It would be an escape from the watchful eyes of the others, but there were dangers in staying there alone. If anything happened, Zander wouldn’t be there to come to her aid.
“Are you sure? Shouldn’t you speak to Feolan first?”
“He will not argue. On many occasions he has discussed the possibility of selling the place. He has no desire to use it any longer. It holds far too many painful memories for him, and with the possibility of he and Lady Diah marrying, he will certainly have no need of it. They would be seeking a new place to start their family.”
“I will still need to return to the inn to collect my belongings,” she pondered, thinking over the few personal affects she’d brought with her when they came from Dalonshire. None of them were particularly important, but she would not have the money to spend on purchasing a whole new wardrobe right away. And shopping would place her in the public eye, at risk of being seen by Kyros and the others.
“Is it necessary, Leyna?” Thade inquired, the consternation on his face deepening. “Whatever you have there, I could replace for you easily. It would be safer for you to simply return with me until Feolan’s home is prepared, and never go to that inn again.”
“No, Thade. I will not allow you to spend your money on me. It is bad enough that I accepted the gowns you had made for me in Mialan.”
“Those were gifts. There is nothing wrong with accepting them.”
“They are gifts of a very high price which I do not deserve,” she sighed. Her head ached. Every part of her wanted to go wherever Thade asked, but there was too much standing between them. The rumors which would abound by her spending too much time in his presence. Accepting expensive gifts. Not to mention her own confused feelings toward him. It was best that she not allow him to be so kind, and not grant them opportunities of privacy together. “Do not worry. I will not return them. But if you will hold onto the things I brought along for our trip, I should be able to collect the rest from the inn in a single bag. It will not take long. Perhaps you or Feolan could meet me somewhere? In an hour or so, at most.”
“I will not leave the area until you return. It is best you not linger there. Not even for an hour. You should gather your things and be gone from the room before anyone discovers you have returned. And Leyna –” Trailing off, Thade knelt down in front of his seat, pulling out a long case from a compartment beneath it. “Although I will not be far away, if you are concerned about rumors, it would be best I not be seen accompanying you. I want you to take this.”
Unhooking the latch revealed a finely crafted saber within an intricately carved and painted scabbard of polished black and silver.
It was a majestic weapon. She hesitated to touch it as he offered the scabbard to her, afraid of damaging the craftsmanship. “I cannot take this,” she breathed in exasperation. “It must have cost a fortune. I do not want to risk ruining or losing it.”
“It is only taking up space under that seat,” he argued. “Take it. I will feel more comfortable letting you go back there if I know you have a weapon. That dress will make defending yourself hard enough as it is without also having the disadvantage of being unarmed.”
She allowed Thade to set the scabbard on her outstretched palms, her eyes trailing down to the flowing skirt of her dress. It was less restricting than the ones designed for court, but the excess fabric was a tripping hazard for even the most skilled of fighters. “I do not intend to be at the room long enough to draw attention.”
Her eyes shifted past Thade in confusion as he began to unclasp one of the belts around his waist. It was exquisitely designed, like everything she had ever seen him wear, silver shimmering in the light streaming through the carriage windows. Unfamiliar diamond shaped blue gems were set along the center of it in rows. Painstakingly detailed, etched lines connected between each stone, twisting in a complex geometric pattern over the surface.
Aloof, he handed the belt to her, releasing it quickly before she could try to give it back. In a fluid motion, he moved over to his seat again. “You are a bit more slender around the waist than I am, but I believe your hips will support it well enough.”
“Are you saying I have fat hips?” she chuckled, turning the belt over in her hand to inspect it more closely.
“Your hips are perfect – in a very practical way, that is.” Thade’s face scrunched up awkwardly. “I am sure they are just fine.”
The Myatheira Chronicles: The Vor'shai: From the Ashes (Volume 1) Page 70