"He thought..." She choked on the words, knowing she'd said them to River, too. "He said mating me would make him an Alpha."
"He was Donavan's. I'm pretty sure he was only supposed to grab you, but there you go. Never trust a monster, even when he's your own."
He left it there and they continued on in silence. They were crossing the lawn by the pink plastic flamingos before Reb spoke.
"Don't tell my parents about this. Not yet, anyway. Losing their home, relocating the pack, joining with another, my father's leg, the Chase, losing Felix, my father's friend and Second. They don't need any more heartbreak or worry. They need rest."
"I'll get Scar to help me bury the evidence. They're not pack yet, so there's no connection to the others. Neither the Alpha or the Mate needs to know."
But Donavan and his pack of monsters would be back. River knew that, too.
~*~
And so did Scar.
When River knocked softly on their door, he heard two seconds' worth of soft scuffle behind it before it opened it and Scar stepped out, closing it behind him. He was fully dressed in black tee shirt and jeans.
"I need to bury some bodies," was all River said.
The older wolver asked no questions. He nodded. "Let me get Ben."
"No."
"Look, you've got the bigger dick. Sooner or later, he'll figure that out. In the meantime, he's big, he's strong, and I'm too damn old to be lugging bodies. He can be a pain in the ass, but you can trust him. You got a shovel?"
"No, but I saw some tools by a shed out back when I went walking with the Mate. I'll see what I can find and meet you in five out by the road."
Ten minutes later, Scar trotted across the lawn. Ben shuffled behind him, wearing baggy shorts and a tee shirt that was inside out. He scratched his head using both hands and yawned so wide, River could have counted his teeth.
"Who'd you kill this time?" Ben asked groggily. "And why can't you dig your own damn hole?"
"Because there are three of them."
"Three? You?" Ben gave his head a sharp shake to clear it. "Why didn't you give me a call?"
Like he would have answered, but Ben did have a point. "I didn't have my cell." It wasn't his. It was Wolf's Head's, so he'd left it behind. "I should have," River said, thinking aloud.
"Damn right," Ben nodded, satisfied, "You shouldn't try to go it alone." He grinned and stretched his arms as an excuse to flex his muscles. "And I could use the exercise."
Ben misunderstood, but it was the first time he'd sounded halfway agreeable, so River didn't correct him. He just added to it. "We all should have them, exchange numbers, stay in contact."
"Yeah, good luck with that," Scar muttered and then explained. "The Alpha doesn't allow them. Says they'll destroy...What was it he said, Ben?"
Eyes rolling up, the big wolver thought for a minute. He shook his head and continued walking. "Not destroy. Undermine," he corrected and then parroted what he'd heard. "Cell phones will undermine the cohesiveness and shared purpose found in the collective mind of the pack. Left unused, the ability to communicate with our fellow members will degenerate and eventually disappear. I refuse to allow my pack to participate in any activity that will have a deleterious effect on wolver society as a whole." Ben blinked and shrugged. "Don't use it, you lose it, I guess. So no cell phones."
River was secretly glad Ben added that last part, because he had no idea what the first part meant except for the ability to communicate part. "Well, shit."
"That's what I said," Ben agreed. "Dennis said it won't much matter when we get to where we're going."
"Do you know where we're going?"
The Alpha was being cagey. He'd told River the routes they were to take and the stops they were to make, but River knew what he'd been shown didn't add up to the distance Reb gave him. River didn't like it, but he was the hired hand and it was the Alpha's call.
"Don't you?"
River shrugged noncommittally.
"You don't, do you." Ben sounded pleased, but then admitted, "I don't either. I wasn't with them the whole time they talked, but I don't think Dennis knew. He would have told us."
"He didn't," Scar agreed. "He saw the pictures, though, and liked what he saw. It's an old fishing and hunting lodge and he said it was just what we were looking for, plenty of land and plenty of game." The scarred rogue sounded wistful.
The sound of running footsteps had them turning as one. River was afraid it was a Sweet Valley member, but it was only the cousins, Toby and Quentin.
"Woke up, and you weren't sleeping in front of the door," Quentin said when they caught up. "I figured you went out for a smoke, but Ben was gone, too, so I looked out front and there you were, sneaking off to have some fun, so I woke up Toby. We're always up for havin' fun."
"This is why I sleep in front of the door," Scar muttered to River. "You never know when these two are going to wander off and get lost looking for some fun."
"We're wolvers. We don't get lost, except for that one time where we wanted to see how much it took to get drunk. You remember that Quentin?"
"Nope."
"Me neither. All I remember is your Daddy picking us up and Mama whuppin' the hell outta me when I got home. You don't want to mess with my mama," he said in a confidential aside to River. "She can be mean, you cross on the wrong side of her."
"Where we headed?" Quentin asked.
"Gotta couple of bodies to bury," Scar told him. "Wanna help?"
River flinched at the offer, but Scar gave him a lift of his chin to say it was alright.
"Yeah? Cool," Toby said while the two were exchanging glances. "I've never buried bodies before. I've dreamt about it, but I've never done it."
"That's not normal. You know that don't you?" Ben's face expressed his disgust. "Normal people don't dream about burying dead bodies."
"Normal people aren't disappointed they aren't invited to a killing, either," River thought, but didn't say.
"So you think we're normal, then?"
"Hell no. Neither one of you are normal."
"There you go then. It's perfectly normal." Quentin didn't bother to hide his grin. He raised his eyebrows and waited.
"Don't ask. Don't ask," River thought to himself, but Ben had to ask.
"How in hell you figure that?"
"You said it wasn't normal for normal people and that would make it abnormal for normal people, but you said we weren't normal which makes us abnormal, too, so that would make what's abnormal for normal people normal for abnormal people like us. See? Perfectly normal."
"I hope you two are up for digging an extra grave," Ben grumbled. "'Cause it's three AM and I have to put up with enough of your shit during daylight. No one would miss you if I added to the body count."
"Kill not for murder or revenge," Toby quoted.
"It doesn't say anything about killing for sanity, does it?"
They'd arrived at the first body.
Scar sniffed loudly and wrinkled his nose at the smell. "You gonna tell us how this all come about?"
"When I finished with the Alpha, I went for a run, as man," he added before Ben or the cubs could call him on it, "I found the car about a mile up the road and I didn't like the smell of it or the clothes piled in the back seat. That's when I went over to wolf. I wanted to find out what they were up to. I found the first one not far from the car. He seemed surprised to see me." River raised his shoulders and let them drop. "He wasn't in the mood to answer questions."
"They probably figured all the men would be over the moon and they wouldn't be running so close to the motel," Ben suggested and it made sense. The females would have been alone.
While the cubs dug a hole in the nearby field, River told them the rest. "The third one's up there."
Scar measured the distance with his eyes. "Guess he wasn't up for answering questions, either, huh?"
"No," River said firmly, "he wasn't."
He wasn't, because by that time, River was so enraged, he didn't
think to ask.
"They'll be back, you know." Scar sounded certain.
"I know. Now, tell me something I don't know. What are we going to do about it and how are we going to keep it from the Alpha and Mate?" He told them about that, too.
"We need an Alpha," Ben said.
"You have one. Roland will be fine. I'll see to it." His words sounded more like a warning, but River didn't care. He was in no mood to go over this again.
"Not for the pack. For the daughter. She either needs an Alpha who'll take her away and out of Donavan's reach, or one like Dennis who'll pull this pack's act together and stand strong."
Ben did his chest puffing thing. That set River's teeth on edge, and they were back where they started, snarling at each other.
"Reb's not ready to become a Mate."
Ben ignored River's glare. "Ready or not, she'll do it. Pack comes first."
"And you think you're up for the job?"
"Don't see you stepping up to the plate. You're just hanging around until Roland's back on his feet."
Scar took the second shovel from River's hand. "I can't see either one of you doing the job. One's too full of himself and the other's not full enough. A good Alpha would fall somewhere in the middle, but good Alphas don't grow on trees and finding one that needs a Mate would be even harder. It's not like you can put a want ad in the paper." He started to walk away. "Come on, you two, we got wolves to bury. You'll have plenty of time to think about this tomorrow when we're on the road. Just don't do it in the same car."
Chapter 21
River was dirty and tired when he returned to the Paradise Motel. The job was done, the secret would be kept. The cubs would no longer think of burying dead bodies as an adventure. Scar made them do most of the work. By the time they finished filling in the third hole, Toby and Quentin weren't thinking of anything but crawling back into bed. He hoped whatever dreams they had were peaceful. His wouldn't be. Tonight, his two nightmares would come together. There would be no sleep for him.
His eyes strayed to the bed where Reb slept the sleep of the angels, untroubled and at peace. And why not? She was the innocent in all this, he, the undeserving sinner. She lay on her side; one hand was tucked beneath her cheek, the other on the pillow that he used. Her fingers were cupped in the form a caress as if they held his cheek instead of air. Clean and fresh as a new snowfall, her hair fanned out across the pillow behind her. He wanted to wake her.
He wanted to see her smile. He wanted to hear that silly giggle. He wanted to feel the soothing tenderness of her touch and the softness of her body beneath his. He wanted her to chase away the demons that plagued him on nights like this. Selfish thoughts, he put them aside and let her sleep.
Careful not to jostle the mattress, he sat at the corner and bent to remove his boots. He felt her shift beneath the covers.
"Hello," she whispered, her voice husky with sleep.
"Go back to sleep, Babe. It's late and you need your rest."
Her hand slid up his back, warm and inviting. "So do you, poor thing. I was laying here thinking how wonderful you were today, what you did for Father, what you did for me, but then I started thinking about what it must have done to you. You've had a hard day, dear, doesn't cover it, does it?"
Her other hand joined the first, sliding up his back and over his shoulders before sliding back down to the base of his spine. Rising again, her fingers probed and kneaded the tense muscles of his back, searching out the knotted tension and easing it with the pressure of her thumbs.
"You made everyone believe their Alpha would be fine, but you didn't know that, did you? You didn't know for sure what you would find. You must have wondered what would happen if your hand shook or the knife slipped. You had to wonder what would happen if my father died."
River didn't wonder. He knew. Roland's face would have joined the long line of others that populated his dreams, others that he'd failed.
River hung his head as her hands worked their way to his shoulders, fingers digging in with surprising strength, thumbs at the base of his neck demanding he relax.
"Tonight, when you fought, I only saw your strength, your fierceness, and your bravery. I was afraid, but it didn't dawn on me that you must have felt fear, too. You never showed it, but it had to be there. That must be an awful burden, to carry that fear and never let it show."
River didn't do fear. He gave up that emotion the week before he ran from the rogues. Fear made you weak. Fear made you a target. Fear told the world they could beat you down and you'd stay there until they beat you to death. Fuck that.
Reb had no right to touch the things she knew nothing about.
What River felt wasn't fear, but anger. He felt it now and with it came the need to break contact with those comforting hands. But those dangerous hands stopped him. Reb laid her palms against his wing bones and between them, pressed her cheek.
"I meant to tell you earlier how grateful I am for what you did for my father. My mother said she was grateful, too, but she told me I wasn't to use those words. I'm to tell you something else instead. She said to say your debt is paid. Three lives for three lives. Kindness for kindness. She said I'm to tell you she speaks for the Mates. They taught you well."
A sharp knife couldn't have cut deeper or caused more pain. His eyes burned with it. He managed to stand and step away from the tenderness of Reb's warm voice, though he couldn't face her, couldn't let her see his weakness. He didn't need forgiveness. He didn't need comfort. He needed his anger. He needed to run.
"I need a shower. You need to go back to sleep."
River somehow managed a firm and steady pace across the floor, but once the bathroom door was closed, he leaned back against it and sucked in air as if he had indeed run to the point of exhaustion.
When he could breathe again, he turned on the shower, and stripped off his clothes. He didn't wait for the water to heat. He welcomed the icy prickles against his body.
The Mate knew nothing of the debts he owed. He needed those debts. They fed his anger. They buried his fear. They gave him the strength to do what he had to do and do it without regret. The debt he owed those Mates formed the foundation for all the other debts that followed. If the foundation collapsed...
"She has no right to speak for the dead."
Or did she? Margaret was a Mate and Mates knew things that others didn't. Did that mean Reb knew them, too?
River slammed his fist against the tile.
~*~
Through the crack between door and jamb, she saw his reflection in the mirror. Beyond the palms trees that grew up the sheer plastic curtain, River was standing in the shower, a silhouette of strength and sorrow. One of his hands was braced against the wall beneath the showerhead. His back was bent, shoulders hunched and head bowed. He didn't move, not even to turn his head when the door opened and she entered. River simply stood and let the steaming spray pound over him as if the rush of water could wash the pain away. It couldn't. The filth of whatever anguish he suffered was too ingrained for mere water to reach. Reb knew it as surely as she knew her own reflection looking back at her from the mirror.
That didn't mean she understood it. Her mother was never cruel, yet her words had caused River pain. Reb saw it in the stiffening of his body when she repeated them. She felt it in his hitch of breath when she spoke of the Mates. She heard it in the angry words he spoke behind the bathroom door and again when she heard his fist pound against the shower wall.
Did her mother, as the Mate, know what his reaction would be?
Maybe Reb couldn't wash it away, either, but she could try. Trying was better than leaving this awful feeling hanging between them. Pulling the curtain back from the opposite wall, she stepped into the shower, pressed her naked body against his back, and slipped her arms around him, splaying her hands over his chest.
He didn't speak, but his body did. His lower back bent a little to more completely mold her body to his. It was a good sign, so she went straight to the point.
<
br /> "Who are the dead my mother has no right to speak for, River?"
His head dipped lower, and he shook it in disappointment. The water from his hair splattered against the curtain and wall. "Don't play games, Reb. You know who they are. She told you."
"You're wrong. My mother told me what to say and I repeated it. She was speaking as the Mate. She didn't explain it and I know better than to ask." He didn't respond, so she pressed her lips to his back in a kiss, and continued. "What I know is only a guess. You saved my father's life. You saved my mother's twice. You told me that yourself. 'She didn't kill them. I did,' you said, like you were making sure I knew she wasn't to blame for their deaths. Not that I would care who killed them," she added because she didn't blame him either, "as long as they were dead. My parents' are the three lives that repaid the debt for three others," she returned to the current subject. "Who were the other three?"
She didn't expect him to answer, and had already taken a breath to move on, when he did.
"Mates. All Mates."
It wasn't the answer she expected. To buy herself time to reorganize her thoughts, Reb slid her body to the side and reached for the washcloth and soap that were left from her earlier shower. She spoke as she soaped the cloth and ran it over his back. She tried her best to sound casual, conversational, though his admission shook her.
"You've known three Mates? I've only known one."
"No," he quietly corrected her, "I've known a few more, but those three are the ones who died." He turned to face her, and the soapy cloth slid to his chest where it stayed, unmoving in her hand.
Reb no longer felt the cloth, or the warm water from the shower, or the cold air at her back where the water didn't reach. She only felt the pain that contorted River's face.
"They showed me kindness and I showed them nothing. I watched them die and I did nothing to save them, nothing to help them escape."
Wolver's Reward Page 20