His voice was flat as if he was only repeating facts and the facts meant nothing to him, which told her the opposite was true. She'd used the ploy on her parents on many occasions, usually accompanied by a shrug and, "Whatever." Her parents rarely fell for it and neither would she.
"River, how old were you?" she asked, using a parent-like voice and tone, logical and reasonable. He wasn't that old now. He couldn't have been more than a pup, a young cub at most when these events occurred.
"Old enough to see their bruises. Old enough to understand their fear."
"How old, River?"
"Old enough to hear them scream. Old enough to be afraid of what the monsters could do."
Dear God, she wasn't prepared for that. Her girlish inexperience skyrocketed, while her parent-like superiority plummeted. This wasn't as easy as her mother made it seem. Still, once the door was opened, it shouldn't be closed. She persisted.
"How old?"
Something snapped in River. His bland belligerence turned to anger and it poured out of him like the poison from the wound in her father's leg. He told her of women kidnapped and raped, of the continuous abuse they endured while he listened and watched. Memory upon memory spilled out, all told in graphic and minute detail. She wanted to cover her ears with her hands and scream, "Stop, Stop!", but she knew this wound, like her father's, needed to be drained, and the blackened flesh cut away. So she didn't try to stop the pouring out of the anger he carried at what had been done to those women, or his fear of the monsters who did those things.
"How old were you, River?" she demanded again.
"I don't know," he finally shouted. He wouldn't meet her eyes. "I don't know anything, because I never meant anything except to those Mates. My name is River because that's where I was whelped, under a bridge on the bank of one. Being nothing more than a useless dog, no one bothered to mark the date of my birth. I should be thankful they didn't drown me. That's what happens to unwanted dogs and I should know, I heard it often enough. I never knew my father. I vaguely remember a female who might be my mother, but she disappeared, too. Maybe she died, or maybe she ran off. I didn't know her well enough to miss her. I don't know how I survived until I was old enough to fight for the scraps they threw on the ground. Maybe there was some older pup who took pity on me. I don't know. All I know is that I grew and the Mates came and the Mates died." He closed his eyes. "And I let them."
If, as River said, she'd lived in an ivory tower, that tower was now crumbling at her feet. This wasn't the wolver life she knew, the one in which she'd thought all wolvers lived. This was the world River knew, and its existence was unthinkable to wolvers like her. The way he spit the words with so much venom, that vicious, unconscionable world had to be real.
His eyes were open again, staring over her head at the wall behind them. Reb pulled at his head, trying to make him see her and not the past that had brought him so much pain.
"River, look at me. Please, look at me." But he wouldn't look her in the eye and so, she kept speaking to his chin. "You were a child, a pup, a cub. Call it whatever you like. It makes no difference. There was nothing you could do."
His wolf was so close to the surface that when River snarled. Reb's head snapped back.
"Don't tell me there was nothing I could do. There was. I knew the way out of every fucking place we ever dumped our sorry asses in. Two of those Mates were human. I knew where humans lived. I could have told them. I could have showed them the way. I could have set them free."
Reb put her hand to his cheek and spoke as softly as she could. "You were afraid, River, and you had reason to be. You were afraid of the monsters, too."
"No." River closed his eyes and slowly opened them again. He pressed his hand over hers and held it tight against his cheek. He trapped it there as if he was afraid she'd pull it away. "No, it wasn't fear. I didn't show them the way because I didn't want them to go. I wanted them to stay. For me. For what they could give to me. I wasn't afraid of the monsters, Reb. I was the monster."
"Oh River, poor River." Tears mixed with the water running down her face, tears for a child so desperate to be loved that he couldn't let go of the only kindness he'd ever known. She brought her free hand to his other cheek so he would know he didn't have to trap it there. She came of her own free will.
"The bond between an Alpha and his Mate is permanent," she explained. "Has no one ever told you that? It can only be broken by death, River. You could have shown them the way and they could have run, but they couldn't escape. They would have come crawling back, more broken and ashamed than they were before."
River stared at her for a moment before his arms went around her and he buried his face in her neck. He held her tightly as if he needed her to hold him up. And maybe he did. She held his head against her and rubbed his back until the tension in his body released and he was fully relaxed.
Reb was pretty sure her fearsome warrior cried, but she would never ask and she would never tell his secret to anyone. This moment would remain sacred to her. For the first time in her life, she shared someone else's pain as fully as if it was her own.
"Mate," her wolf whispered, satisfied.
"I know," Reb whispered back. She would always think of it as her first, though unofficial, act as a Mate.
Chapter 22
In spite of the urgency of the pack to leave, River overslept. He awakened from his dreamless sleep to the feel of Reb's hand against his cheek and her body curled possessively around him. Her hair, normally so smooth and softly cloudlike, was a tangled mess, the result of going to bed with it wet. Her jaw, or what he could see of it, was slightly reddened from the burn of his beard, though not as red as her nose. That, like her eyes, was red and swollen from crying, a penalty of having such fair skin.
She was beautiful. River smiled.
"Good morning to you, too," she whispered as if she'd heard his thoughts, but then her hand slid over his belly to his crotch where it found his jutting erection. That, and not his thoughts, had woken her up.
"This," she told him, giving it a little squeeze, "Is what Darla refers to as morning wood. I love morning wood."
"You've never had morning wood." River chuckled and the sound of it felt good.
"Then I'm going to love it." She giggled and ducked under the covers. "And so are you." She took him in her mouth.
"Fuck yeah," he muttered, because she was right. He was going to like it a lot.
His erection left her full lipped and luscious mouth with a pop. "Fudge," she corrected and went back to work.
"Fudge," he agreed. She could call it whatever she wanted as long as she didn't stop.
His Babe was a wonder. After what she'd heard, after holding him while he blubbered like a baby, she'd taken his hand and led him to bed, where she took control.
Embarrassed, he'd been a baby about that, too. "I don't do pity fucks, Reb," he'd told her, mostly because by the way he'd felt, he didn't think he could get it up. He was wrong about that, too.
She'd giggled at his sulky response. "Good to know, but this has nothing to do with pity. This is hunger for fudge, and let me remind you it's not wise to argue with a woman who has her teeth near your more delectable parts."
She touched her tongue to the base of his sagging cock and before she'd licked it from stem to stern, his mast was fully erect and ready to sail. She'd ministered to his needs as well as her own, and damn, wasn't it hot to watch her fingers play at the juncture of her legs while she rode the waves and made herself come.
River foiled her plans to do it again by flipping her to her back and driving himself into her softness. Her tender call as she reached her peak made him forget how much he hated his name. On her lips, it sounded like music and he reached his own climax with it ringing in his ears.
He kissed the shoulder he'd cried against in the shower. Reb was beautiful, and wonder of wonders, that beauty was his. "Never want to let you go, Babe, never want to let you go."
"You never have to, River."<
br />
Lying there, in the satisfied afterglow of spent passion, River wished that could be true.
"Mate," his wolf whispered.
"I know," River whispered back.
Reb's revelation in the shower had eased his mind and freed the ghosts of the Mates from his dreams, but it hadn't changed his current situation or, more importantly, hers.
He understood now why he'd felt the need to keep those long ago Mates to himself, but he was no longer a pup. As much as he wanted to keep Reb for himself, he knew that he couldn't. Reb was a Mate in need of a strong Alpha who would love her in the way she deserved. Until one was found, River would protect her as best he could, with his life if he had to, but as long as she was unmated, she was as vulnerable to the monsters like Donavan as were those Mates of his past. She wouldn't be able to resist the Alpha's touch. She would be the one crawling back broken and ashamed.
If that happened, Reb's would be the one face in his nightmares whose accusing look he couldn't survive.
When they opened the door, ready to leave, Darla was standing outside it with breakfast. She frowned. "You spoiled my fun. I was hoping to catch you with your pants down."
"Pervert." River took the offered sandwich, a fat one filled with eggs and sausage. "How's the Alpha?"
"Girl's gotta get her drink somewhere and this well is pretty dry." Darla looked around at the mostly female wolvers packing their cars. "Alpha's doing okay, I think. His color's back, a little pale, but pale beats gray. He ate a little and went back to sleep. Margaret says that's the best thing for him." She looked expectantly at River.
"I guess it is, but he's got to eat. Keep his strength up." His eyes were on the RV only because they were talking about the Alpha, so he was looking that way when the door opened and Ben step out. The wolver held out his hand for the Mate, who followed him. "What's he doing?"
"Kissing up." Darla's frown deepened. "He's offering his services. That's what he said. They need someone to look out for them while the Alpha recovers, someone strong." she rolled her eyes at this last. "He wants to drive."
"Darla." Reb cautioned, but she was smiling. "He's not casting aspersions on your abilities. He's only trying to look out for the Alpha and Mate."
"Yeah? Well, he said a bunch of other stuff, too, about needing someone who could handle emergencies. He also pointed out the dangers of riding a motorcycle without the proper gear, particularly for young, inexperienced females. Mentioned something about precious cargo. Just looking out for the family, you know. Precious cargo. Hmph. How's it feel to be compared to a suitcase?"
Reb flipped a length of hair behind her and twitched her shoulders in a show of pique. "It doesn't matter what he says, or what they say. I'm riding with River."
The Mate laughed at something Ben said, and then touched the wolver's arm. Both turned their heads to look at the trio watching them. The Mate waved. Ben gave them a serious nod. River nodded back.
"No, you're not. You're riding in the RV," he said absently. He was watching Margaret and Ben, but glanced over at Reb when she spoke.
"No, I'm not. I want to ride with you." She pouted. Her foot rose an inch off the ground and returned with some force.
This was a side of Reb River hadn't seen. He spoke to Darla as if Reb wasn't there. "Never was impressed by females who pout and stamp their feet."
Darla snorted and coughed into her hand. "They all do it when they're young. Most grow out of it," she said in the same conversational tone River used.
Neither comment affected Reb's pout. "Why can't I ride with you?"
River was tempted to say "Because I said so," but caught himself in time. "Because Ben's right." Damn him. "And even if he wasn't, you're not used to it. I'm not going to stop every five minutes because you're butt sore and need to stretch your legs. You ride in the RV. Darla, you drive. I need Ben on the road."
"Fine," Reb said, though she made it clear she didn't mean it. "I'll be in the RV." She started to flounce away.
"Hey. Babe." River crooked his finger and she walked back. Her pout remained, but her eyes said she'd won.
"What?"
River hooked his hand around the back of her neck and drew her in. He touched his forehead to hers. "We've got enough shit on our plates. Think about that, and don't pile on more."
"Oh." She got the message and her face changed. "I forgot."
"I didn't," he said, and then he kissed her, just a quick one before turning her around and sending her on her way with a hand at her ass. "Tell Ben I need to see him and don't forget to save me some lunch."
"I think I like you," Darla said.
"I'm flattered," River returned flatly. He returned to business. "Pick someone you can trust to ride shotgun, someone who won't fold in an emergency. You drive and you don't stop for anyone you don't know, and that includes the new comers when we pick them up. A car breaks down, I don't care who it is, you keep going. I'll send someone back to help."
Darla raised her eyebrows at his orders. "What's going on?"
"Nothing and that's the way I want to keep it. Your Alpha and Mate look for the good in people. You all do. Well, maybe not you," he amended with a laugh and then became serious again. "I look for the bad and I don't trust anyone until they prove that I can."
River shrugged and looked around at the wolvers loading and rearranging their cars. Not one of them looked like they could handle themselves in a fight.
Darla must have understood the look on his face. "They're out of shape and they know it. This new life is going to be different from their old one. They know that, too." She spread her feet a little apart, folded her arms across her chest, and settled into a more comfortable position. "They had a choice, you know. When this all began, the Alpha gave them a choice. He released six families and another half dozen single males. They're back home trying to make their own fresh start as a pack."
"Will they make it? Do they have an Alpha?" If so, why wasn't he in the running for Reb? Did he already have a Mate?
Darla snorted her version of a laugh. "One thing you need to know about this pack. Every last one of them can talk a subject to death. That doesn't mean they do anything about it. Those wolvers will be sitting around the table for the next ten years discussing who's best suited to be their Alpha."
"No Challenge?"
Darla laughed again. "If they do, it'll be death by chess and only after they discuss the merits of the game." She shook her head. "Nope, they'll never choose an Alpha, but they might make it for a while. Roland gave them some money. They managed to put a down payment on a small apartment building. We've got the best of the lot right here."
"Isn't that just peachy." He wondered if the Alpha was a talker, too. Reb had called him a dreamer.
"They want this, River, and they'll do whatever's needed to get it. They were unhappy with the life they were leading. No, not unhappy, unsatisfied. They had a pretty good life, but it wasn't enough. I figured you'd understand since Margaret says you're just like 'em."
River looked over the women loading the cars. Most wore summer dresses. Some wore shorts that came to their knees. All wore makeup and had their hair fixed nice and no doubt sprayed stiff to keep it that way. What in hell could a wolver like him have in common with them?
"My job's to get you there in one piece. The two groups need to come together if this thing is going to work. You take the women. I'll take the men. I want them worn out at the end of the day. Less trouble that way."
This many unmated females brought together with a pack of unmated males, there was bound to be trouble.
"The Mate needs you to stay until we're settled and the Alpha's back on his feet."
They needed a helluva lot more than that. "We'll see," he said.
But he'd already seen. Reb was standing by the RV smiling up at Ben. The big wolver leaned with one hand braced on the vehicle's side, looming over her, penning her in. She didn't seem to mind. The Babe-in-the-woods had no idea what was going on and that was only part of it. Thi
s pack was going to need an Alpha who was more than back on his feet. They needed a leader, and Reb needed a mate. It would be a cold day in hell before he let Ben worm his way into either position.
River hated the thought and knew he would hate it more with each passing day, but he knew what had to be done.
"Mate," his wolf snarled.
"I know that," he silently told the wolf, "And I know the wolver who can find her an Alpha."
To Darla he said, "Let's get this show on the road. I need you to arrange a meeting for me with the Alpha and Mate once we're stopped for the night and I'll need you to keep Reb busy while we meet."
"Atta boy." Darla's grin spread to both sides of her face. "I'll be happy to arrange it. Margaret said you'd take care of things."
River didn't grin back. He'd take care of things all right, but only until Eugene Begley found Reb the right Alpha to mate.
Chapter 23
The trip went more smoothly than River thought it would. After four days, he was beginning to think his worry was for nothing. Like cowboys, he, along with Scar, Ben, and the two cubs, rode herd on the caravan of vehicles all moving north. They pushed the slower groups that lagged behind, and forced the speeders to temper their need to be the first to arrive. It was impossible to keep that many cars and trucks together in one line, but they managed to keep the clusters within a few miles of each other.
They rounded up a few strays, too, mostly flat tires and one overheated engine when they hit a long stretch of highway construction. Their main job, though, was to watch for suspicious vehicles that might be following them.
River didn't know whether the wolvers he killed were sent directly to the Paradise Motel, or if they were random scouts sent by Donavan to search the back roads when the Sweet Valley pack didn't show on the main ones. He regretted losing control of his anger and killing them. The information they carried would have been useful. Ryker would be pleased to know he'd learned a lesson and paid a price for it. River now had to wonder and watch and wait.
Wolver's Reward Page 21