Wolver's Reward

by Jacqueline Rhoades

  "No. I can't be. You don't understand what's inside." River tapped his chest so hard, they heard the thunk.

  "But we do, sweetie," Kat argued, "We just never found a way to make you understand it."

  "Kind, brave, and handsome." Reb didn't know she'd whispered it aloud until Kat laughed.

  "I don't think that last is a requirement, but I'm glad you see him that way, too. It certainly doesn't hurt if you're the Mate."

  "No."

  "Yes." Charles' contradiction was firm. "You've been leaking power for months."

  "No."

  "How did you save that cub?" Roland asked. "I felt it. I know when another Alpha uses his power within my territory. Every Alpha does. When I asked Ben..."

  "Ben promised to keep his mouth shut."

  Though his tone remained mild, Roland leaked a little power of his own. The other Alpha's at the table bristled with it.

  "Ben is loyal to his Alpha. When asked, he answered truthfully. Had he not answered, I still would have known. Do you think I didn't know who augmented my power? Do you think me such a fool that I would risk my health and therefore my pack's if I wasn't confident of the outcome?"

  Margaret coughed into her hand and Roland smiled at his Mate's unobtrusive correction.

  "I shall amend that to I took a calculated risk, though I was quite certain of the outcome, and if I'd had the slightest doubt, your battle with Donavan would have relieved it."

  Still in denial, River continued to argue. "You didn't see me, sir. You didn't see what I became. If you had, you wouldn't have seen an Alpha. You would have seen a monster."

  Begley broke in, no longer grinning. "We all have monsters inside of us, River. A good Alpha knows how to keep it leashed."

  River sank back into his chair. Elbows on the table, he dropped his head into his hands.

  "You aren't listening. I didn't keep control. The leash broke."

  "Roland killed him as is his right. Those were your words, River." Roland frowned in consternation. "Had the leash truly broken, you would have usurped that right. You would have killed Donavan and might very well have killed me."

  River continued to stare at the table, head in hands. Reb took the opportunity to pick over a bone of her own. She glared at her mother.

  "You knew. All this time, you knew, and you didn't feel the least bit compelled to tell me? This is my life, Mother."

  "I didn't know. Without the mantle, there's no way to be sure. I merely suspected. Your father and I discussed it and decided that after the initial disaster we should leave nature to take its course." Margaret paused thoughtfully and issued a long suffering sigh before she continued. "Frankly, I was convinced that if I encouraged the relationship, you'd reject it out of hand."

  Reb reluctantly admitted that was probably true, but there was more. "And when he left? You couldn't tell me then?"

  "What purpose would it serve? Your heart was broken. He'd left and you'd let him. It was up to him whether or not he came back. I had no control over that. It's something you must come to terms with, Becky, if you are to be a Mate. There are some things over which you have no control. People aren't puppets. And I did offer you consolation," she added. "You rejected that, too. As a Mate, I have the power to ease someone's pain, but they must open their heart to it. It's another hard lesson to learn."

  "You're young," Kat added as if that was consolation.

  "It's called being young and stupid," the little Alpha added. He didn't sound sympathetic. "Young and stupid causes me more problems than I care to think about. How do you think I ended up with Arkansas?"

  "Arkansas again," River muttered.

  "Yes, Arkansas again. If you'd read those papers, you would have known to meet Dennis in a bar I had all picked out. He would have helped you screw your head on straight and you would have helped him figure out a way to avoid the Chase."

  "That's not fair," Reb protested. She didn't care who Eugene Begley was. She wouldn't allow him to add another ghost to River's dreams. "River was not responsible for Dennis's death and don't you dare say he was."

  "I never said he was. Dennis did that all by himself. Like I said, young and stupid. By the time he told me what he'd done, it was too late to stop it. River here was supposed to be with Dennis when he found you broke down on the road. With River's help, Dennis would have convinced you to run off, mate under the full moon, and come back too late to undo the damage. River was supposed to head on down to Arkansas, find the pack, meet the girl, and," Begley slapped his hands together, "problems solved.

  "Now I got me an Alpha who doesn't want to be an Alpha, a Mate who doesn't want to be a Mate, and another one crying her heart out because she doesn't know she is one." He pointed his short, stubby finger at River. "And if you think I'm paying you what I quoted in those papers, you've got another think coming. I ain't paying for young and stupid."

  "It never would have worked, Eugene. Their wolves would have won in the end." Kat looked to Margaret for confirmation.

  "I'm afraid she's right, Mr. Begley. You cannot dictate terms of the heart. Might I suggest that next time you consult your Mate."

  "Don't have one," Bagley muttered.

  River missed the exchange of raised eyebrows and knowing glances between the Mates. His head was still bowed. When he raised it, he ignored their words and referred to the Alpha's.

  "You're right on the money, Alpha. I'm young and stupid. Young and stupid doesn't make a good Alpha."

  "Seemed to work out okay for my brothers," Charles laughed.

  Kat nailed him in the ribs with her elbow. "For you, too, Big Bad. For most of us," she added for River and Reb's benefit. "Fortunately, being young is a passing phase."

  Roland raised his finger to interrupt. "If I might add my own observations to the discussion." He cleared his throat and intoned, "River Goodman, you show great promise. You are, as my daughter so aptly stated, kind and brave. You put others before yourself. You have a noble sense of fairness. You question everything and form your own conclusions. You are modest in admitting your strengths, but more importantly, you recognize your fallibilities. Because of all these things, you have the potential to become wise.

  "The cure for youth, River, is to outlive it. There is no cure for stupidity. It is a recurring affliction and you will periodically suffer from it throughout your life." He reached for Margaret's hand. "It is therefore essential that you find a mate who will support you in all things, yet never hesitate to diagnose stupidity when it occurs. Our disastrous Chase is a case in point. I ignored the diagnosis. Stupidity won out.

  "I admit my prejudice as regards your choice of said mate, but I believe you have chosen well. Rebecca suits you admirably and I shall be happy to call you son. I therefore recommend that you discuss this with her. Hear what she has to say. She is an excellent diagnostician. After all, I am her father and she had her mother to set the example."

  ~*~

  The sun had set and the air held an autumn chill, but the three women chose to sit on the big front porch of the lodge. Swept clear of the cobwebs and debris that originally adorned it, the porch was a pleasant place to sit. It was sheltered from the wind, and being wolvers, any excuse to remain outdoors was a good one. It was the perfect time to sit and get acquainted.

  Their men were out running the woods together as wolves. Being Alphas, they didn't need the full moon to shift and since River's secret was out, there was no need for him to stay behind.

  "This view alone will sell the place." Kat relaxed back into the comfort of the chair built to reflect the rusticity of nature. "Those mountains are spectacular."

  "They are," Margaret agreed, "But it's the air that impresses me most. It's thinner than we're used to, but so fresh and clean. Frankly, I love the taste of it. I'm in danger of becoming a mouth breather." She laughed lightly and held up her hands, inspecting one side and then the other. "I think I've worked harder here these last few months than I have in my entire life. I've swept, scrubbed, and scoured. I've
hauled rock from the river. I've even chopped wood."

  "About three strokes," Reb snickered and then explained. "Darla made her stop. My mother is dangerous with an ax."

  "I suppose I was a little awkward, but the point is that I did it. A good Mate should set an example to her pack and to tell you the truth, I'm enjoying it." Margaret looked away from the mountain view and over to the side where the cabins lay dotted amongst the trees. "The feeling is different here with all of us working to one purpose. There's a camaraderie that I find delightful in spite of the grumbling and bickering, and even that allows me to exercise my power in a most satisfying way. You can see the changes and accomplishments every day. Roland is worried about money."

  "That's a first," Reb cut in.

  Her mother smiled. "It would be disloyal of me to agree. Nevertheless, you prove my point. Everyone is changing and for the better, I believe. This place will be a success," she said confidently. "We may see some hard times, but we will make it work."

  "Ben has some good ideas to expand beyond hunting and fishing. River says they're good ones."

  "I'm glad River's gotten beyond his silly jealousy and sees Ben as the asset he is."

  "I'm glad to see River's gotten beyond being River. With the exception of yesterday's little display, he's happy. You make him smile." Kat offered a smile of her own to Reb.

  Reb didn't smile back. "He only did that because he was afraid," and then hearing the defensive sharpness of her reply and understanding Kat meant no offense, she added, "We're working on it," and then confessed some more. "He was afraid of losing me to an Alpha's touch."

  "I would not like to be the Alpha who attempted it," her mother said lightly.

  "I know, but he's afraid of that, too. He says he knows no fear, but I think it's fear that drives him and not just of losing me." Reb waved her hand over the compound. "He's afraid of losing all this. He's afraid of what will happen to the pack. He's afraid they'll go hungry. He's afraid they'll be cold. He's afraid of losing one of them. He's lost so much, fear has become his constant companion."

  "He fears losing the things he loves," Margaret concluded.

  "Love is something River blocks out. He refuses to feel it. I tried. God knows I tried, but I could never get him to accept it. To him, it's a four letter word."

  "Then he ought to be quite comfortable with it," Margaret joked, but Reb felt the need to defend.

  "That's because of the way you met. You knew what he was, where he came from. He felt it as pity and that's one thing River won't accept. When we met him, we didn't know about his beginnings, so it's different for him here. No one knows."

  "You do," Kat said softly.

  "I do, but that had more to do with trust than pity." It was all she could say. Anything else would be a betrayal of that trust.

  The two older women smiled at each other as if they knew what she was thinking.

  "How like a Mate," Margaret said proudly.

  "That better be with a small 'm', Mother," Reb warned.

  "You're happy with his decision, then?" Kat asked softly.

  "It was our decision," Reb answered. "I'm happy to be with River. Staying here is the perfect compromise for me. I have my pack. As an Alpha's daughter, I can help my mother with some of the women's problems, and I can be a mate. With a small 'm', Mother," she added as an aside, "to the wolver I love. I get the best of both worlds and River gets the world he's always wanted." She shrugged. "We get to be normal."

  Three days later, Eugene Begley left with his three passengers in tow. Kat cried like the baby she held in her arms when River gave her a hug along with his goodbye.

  "Thank you," he'd told her and held her in his embrace much longer than he normally would. "For showing me the way out."

  Both she and Reb knew there was so much more hidden in his quiet words of farewell.

  Not only did River know that he was loved, he returned the feeling as well.

  Chapter 32

  It was the Hunter's Moon and it was snowing. Reb had traded the traditional white gown of cotton or silk for a dark purple woolen one. She called it violet. Her mother called it a violation of mating tradition.

  "Sorry, Mother, been there, done the white, not a happy memory. This time we're doing it differently and River likes violet."

  River had to laugh at that. He didn't care what color it was. His goal was to get her out of it as quickly as possible and keep it that way for the three days the pack promised to leave them alone. The only reason Reb said it was because Margaret was old fashioned enough to believe a male's wishes should be honored. Who was he to argue with that?

  The whole lodge was festooned with purple and white crepe paper ribbons and big purple flowers made from tissue paper. Every table was laden with food, most of it stuck with frilly little toothpicks. Arnold had missed his calling. The man should have been a general the way he marshaled his forces. He had women running everywhere for days, thus cutting River's forces in half.

  "There's work to be done," he'd complained to Darla. "Winter's here. It's snowing already and this is nothing compared with what's coming later. Rosemary figures we need at least another six cords of wood. We haven't finished the last two cabins..." He continued the list until Darla interrupted.

  "Hunting's been good, though. Me and Scar are thinking about taking a party out tonight. Let them hunt as a pack."

  "By the looks of it, we'll need it. The way these wolvers have been chowing down all day, we'll probably be starving by Christmas."

  "Ah, knock it off, Champ. These wolvers have been doing what needs to be done twenty-four/seven for two months. Let them have some fun and quit worrying. They need a break."

  "I understand a break, Darla, but this is going way overboard. There'll be matings every full moon, the way things are going. We can't keep this up."

  "River, look around you. They're not doing this because it's a mating. They're doing this because you chose them over Arkansas. They're doing this to say thank you. They're doing this because you stayed."

  "Didn't have a choice. This was where Reb wanted to be."

  One side of Darla's face turned up in a smile. "You just keep telling yourself that, but don't say it out loud unless you want to be laughed at. There's not a soul in this pack would believe it. Our Rebel would follow you to the moon if you said you were going, and she'd be smiling when she got there." She bumped him hip to hip, a light tap that nearly took him off his feet. "You can't fool us, River Goodman. You love us, and if I don't get a chance to say so later, welcome to the pack."

  Two hours later, River was dressed in a pair of white cotton trousers with a draw string at the waist. His shirt was white cotton, too. He only hoped he and Reb wouldn't freeze to death before they reached the one room cabin in the woods.

  There would be no Chase. Reb didn't want one and he understood why. Instead, they would state their intent before the pack and together, walk to the one room cabin he'd been working on all week and spend the time together in a real bed, without interruption. Later, they would go over the moon together. He wasn't worried about any of that. He was worried about what he would say to the pack. Though it wasn't required, they'd be expecting some kind of vow.

  Worry fled at the sight of Reb walking down the stairs to meet him. Purple, violet, whatever you wanted to call it, she was a vision in that dress. Plain cut and long sleeved, it clung to her slender frame, accentuating everything he loved about her body while revealing none of its secrets. Her hair hung loose and looked even whiter against the deep color of the gown. Roses wreathed her head, Reb's one concession to her mother, and River was glad for it. The crown of roses was as delicate looking as the woman who wore them. Best of all, beneath the rosy crown and purple gown, she wore her orange sneakers. Like fudge, the sneakers had become a private joke between them.

  Who'd have thought he could be so lucky? Who'd have believed Fate would finally smile?

  Reb held his hand while he pledged his loyalty to the pack and he said
the words without regret. His few days with Charles settled that, too.

  "A pack should be a home, River. I'm happy you finally found one. This is where you were meant to be."

  Meant to be. It seemed like River was hearing those words everywhere.

  Those words gave him the courage to tell his pack the truth when it came time to declare his pledge to Reb.

  "Fate decreed that I be born into darkness," he told them, no longer ashamed. "I was surrounded by it. I lived inside it and it lived inside me. It was like living in a tunnel deep in the ground. There were points of light along the way, but they blinked out pretty fast. I wanted to be free of the darkness in that tunnel, but no matter how far I ran, I couldn't escape it. Fate kicked me in the teeth every time I thought I was close to the light. So I ran some more, and I kept running even when good wolvers showed me the way out. I knew by then that freedom from the darkness was for others. It would never be for me. I was content to watch the light grow in the pups who ran with me, but the darkness was my home."

  No one said a word, but he felt it through his new connection with his pack; not pity, but support. They knew how hard those words were to say.

  "And then I met a girl with white blonde hair and neon orange sneakers, who lit me up. You know when you've been hit with a baseball bat and you're still interested, it's got to be something special. And okay, she's hot." He had to pause for the laughter and comments to subside.

  "But there was something else about her, too. I had to follow her light. I thought I could protect my darkness while enjoying its soft glow. It was clean and pure, but it wasn't a bright light. It didn't blind me. It didn't make me squint and throw up my hand to block it or drive it away. I was comfortable with my darkness and her light posed no threat. And that's what I kept telling myself while she surrounded me with it, while she found the cracks in my darkness, and worked her way in. She sneaked past my guard and started lighting candles with her beauty and understanding and laughter. Darkness is an empty place and before I knew what was happening, Reb filled it with something golden, something I never thought would be mine.