So Done

by Paula Chase

  Every now and then she still felt like looking over her shoulder when she was outside alone. She also had her doubts that Mr. Bryant would stay away from Ms. Sophia’s house forever. But at least, for now, things were as close to normal as they had been in a long time. It’s why she had chosen to stay and do TAG. Because for everything she hated about the Cove, there were some things she loved.

  What she loved most was her family. She missed Cinny. But she felt safest at home with her dad and brothers. And now Chrissy and some of the girls in her TAG classes were starting to feel like family.

  The Cove was where she belonged.

  Epilogue—

  Tai’s November

  Tai loved the mornings. It was the only time the entire squad was together. Whatever they hadn’t caught up on the night before, on FriendMe or in a chat, they did at the bus stop.

  She almost hated to see the bus come, because once they got to school they had to go their separate ways. And three afternoons a week, everybody but her and Simp left school early to attend their TAG class.

  So mornings were her favorite.

  Every morning they stood, circled in the same order, talking. Mila, Tai, Rollie, Simp, Sheeda, Mo, Chris, and Chrissy. They were so close that their book bags sometimes bumped each other if they shifted too fast.

  The circle was tighter than usual that morning. Partly to keep the wind from whipping in their faces but, Tai couldn’t lie, partly to freeze out the handful of sixth and seventh graders standing at the bus stop with them. Every now and then one or two would slink closer, but far enough to keep Tai from gritting on them. They knew better than to join in without being invited.

  It was ignorant but that’s how it was. Had always been. Eighth graders ruled at the bus stop. Their conversations were the loudest and their circle the biggest as they took up more space than they needed to on the sidewalk.

  Tai glanced over her shoulder at the ones who stood on the far fringes of the circle pretending it didn’t matter. They’d be all right, though. They’d end up getting tight a little more each year, just like her squad had. And it wasn’t nothing like having a squad.

  Tai hadn’t understood that at first. She had been so used to wanting Bean to herself, she hadn’t seen how much the others meant to her. She understood now because they had been there when things blew up.

  After Mr. Jamal pressed charges, Tai knew the whole hood would be squawking about it. She wasn’t ready for it, but she didn’t let on. Every time she stepped outside she expected to hear the words “Chester the molester” slip out of somebody’s mouth. That’s who her father was now, to the hood. At least that’s what people would think he was. Tai had to act like none of it bothered her because Nona’s message was clear—words can’t hurt you, we know the truth, don’t let people who don’t have nothing better to do than gossip get in your head.

  They did know the truth—he had touched Bean—and that’s what messed with Tai. She didn’t know if it was worse that he had touched her, or that he did it because he was high. She knew better than to point that out to Nona, though. Nona said the drugs made him sick. Getting him “better,” off the drugs, was all she’d focus on.

  So Tai had swallowed the fear making her heart feel like it was running on high speed all day and pretended it didn’t matter. She had braced herself for somebody in the squad—Simp most likely, since he never knew what not to say—to ask her what had happened. She was used to people in the Cove being boldly nosy.

  But no one had. Not the first day. Or the second. After a while Tai started to wonder if they heard. But it was impossible not to know.

  Nona had made her father turn himself in after the charges were filed and when she posted bail for him, she made him go to some rehab way out in the boons. No more dipping in to stay at Nona’s a few weeks here and there. He was gone.

  So people knew.

  Once at the playground, Neesha had made a loud comment about how Tai’s father was gonna miss the block party since he couldn’t come near the rec. The group she was with had laughed. Before Tai could say something, Mo had loud-mumbled how Neesha was irky and Sheeda had even mustered a loud “Neesha, you wrong,” in her direction.

  Then Rollie had gone even further, calling Neesha out with, “Ay yo, Neesha, heard your pops up for parole for that drug bid. Good luck on it, for real.” It shut Neesha up and the beef had ended there. And she knew then how much she needed her friends. Even Chrissy.

  It wasn’t that they were tight or anything, but she didn’t hate her. Even if she did, there was no getting rid of her. Her and Chris had become part of the group so easily, Tai wasn’t even sure when she’d started to semi-get along with the girl.

  Having the squad made the whole mess with her father bearable. It was good not having him in the house anymore. The only problem was, some days Nona seemed far away and now Tai knew those were the times she’d gotten a text or call from him, usually with him still pleading his innocence and acting like Nona could spring him from rehab like it was jail.

  It still amazed Tai that he didn’t get it. He only wasn’t in jail because Nona had gotten him a lawyer who told him if he made good on staying clean, the judge would probably fine him and give him probation.

  Tai honestly couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her father clean. One night she’d lain in bed trying and not even a single memory slipped in. It made her bawl. She tried imagining how different things would be if he wasn’t on drugs, but every image that played in her head looked like a scene from a television show. Fake. Fantasy.

  She doubted he’d ever get his self together. Thinking about it was a waste of time. She wished her grandmother would see that.

  When Nona went to see him in the rehab, Tai refused to go. Nona never forced it.

  The only time she didn’t think about him at all was when she was dancing. When the groove hit, the music whipped her body whatever way it wanted and her brain left the building.

  It was her first year taking hip-hop officially, but after only two weeks Mr. Sommers had moved her up to H3’s Intermediate 2 class.

  I2s got to travel. Her first performance with them was in a few weeks, in Virginia. Just thinking about it made Tai’s limbs tremble with happiness. With all that went down, she didn’t know she could feel happy anymore. Sometimes it felt wrong that she could be happy, knowing how sad Nona was. She tried not to let her thoughts go there.

  Right now, with the squad around her, she was happy. She wasn’t going to apologize for it.

  Suddenly Chris’s voice rang out into a song. A few notes in, Rollie rapped under the melody. The two of them vibed off each other all the time, bursting into song or rap anytime it hit them. The loud talking slowed down, then stopped, as everybody listened. The circle closed in a little more, like they were trying to keep the song to themselves.

  Sheeda swayed along, eyes closed like it was her all-time jam. Mo’s foot tapped. Bean was watching, a smile on her face.

  The song floated in the air: “When I’m with you it’s all I can do—to keep my cool and just roll on through. . . .”

  Did Rollie know that’s exactly how she felt about him? They still weren’t exclusive yet, but they sat together on the bus every morning. He texted her outside the group chat all the time. So soon. Very soon.

  She smiled at the thought and let the circle’s energy wrap around her until she felt as high as she did in dance class.

  Above the pettiness.

  Above hurt feelings.

  Above loneliness.

  Above it all.

  About the Author

  Photo credit ADELMA GREGORY

  Before becoming a full-time writer, PAULA CHASE worked in nonprofit communications and in public relations for a tech company. She is the cofounder of The Brown Bookshelf, an organization that increases awareness of African American voices writing for young readers. So Done is her first middle grade novel. She lives with her family outside of Annapolis, Maryland.

  www.paulachaseh
yman.com

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  Copyright

  This book is a work of fiction. References to real people, events, establishments, organizations, or locales are intended only to provide a sense of authenticity, and are used to advance the fictional narrative. All other characters, and all incidents and dialogue, are drawn from the author’s imagination and are not to be construed as real.

  SO DONE. Copyright © 2018 by Paula Chase. All rights reserved under International and Pan-American Copyright Conventions. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse-engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of HarperCollins e-books.

  www.harpercollinschildrens.com

  Cover art copyright © 2018 by Nicholle Kobi

  Cover design by Sylvie Le Floc’h

  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Chase, Paula, author.

  Title: So done / by Paula Chase.

  Description: First edition. | New York, NY: Greenwillow Books, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers, [2018] | Summary: “When best friends Metai and Jamila are reunited after a summer apart, their friendship threatens to combust from the pressure of secrets, middle school, and looming auditions for a potentially lifechanging new talented-and-gifted program”— Provided by publisher.

  Identifiers: LCCN 2018022297 | ISBN 9780062691781 (hardback)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Best friends—Fiction. | Friendship—Fiction. | Family problems—Fiction. | Middle schools—Fiction. | Schools—Fiction. | African Americans—Fiction. | Racially-mixed people—Fiction. | Auditions—Fiction. | BISAC: JUVENILE FICTION / Social Issues / Friendship. | JUVENILE FICTION / Social Issues / Adolescence. | JUVENILE FICTION / Family / Alternative Family.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.C38747 Sk 2018 | DDC [Fic]—dc23 LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2018022297

  1819202122CG/LSCH10987654321

  FIRST EDITION

  Digital Edition AUGUST 2018 ISBN: 978-0-06-269180-4

  Print ISBN: 978-0-06-269178-1

  Greenwillow Books

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