“So now you know what I mean even when I don’t?”
She wagged one finger at him and shook her head, sending those curls of hers into a wild dance around her face. “You don’t think I know what you mean, but I do and I think you know I know.”
“Huh?” Jeff’s features twisted as he tried to follow that little piece of logic. But Kelly wasn’t listening. She was already on a tear. Damn, this evening had gone to hell in a hurry.
First the gift of her appearing at his door when he most needed her. Then a mind-numbing reunion. Now this. For pete’s sake, what did he do that was so damn terrible? Was a proposal from him so repellent?
“Don’t you play all innocent with me, Jeff Hunter,” she was saying as she marched—buck naked—back and forth in front of him.
Boy, it didn’t do much for a man’s concentration. How in the hell was he supposed to focus on an argument when he was watching those breasts of hers? Not to mention that finely curved behind?
Then she started talking again and spoiled the moment completely.
“You want us to get married because you have some old-world notion that it’s the honorable thing to do.”
“Well, it is,” he countered, silently objecting to the term old world. Hell, was it that out of date to be a decent guy? To stand up and take responsibility for your actions?
Standing up, he faced her on his own two feet. Folding his arms across his chest, he kept his gaze fixed on her while she continued to pace.
“Fine,” she said. “You did the honorable thing. You offered. But I don’t want to get married.”
“Why the hell not?”
That stopped her cold.
She planted both hands at her bare hips and tapped the toes of one foot soundlessly against the carpet. “Are you serious? For one thing, we hardly know each other!”
Eyebrows arched, he glanced at the floor, then back to her. “I think we know each other pretty damn well.”
“That’s sex, Jeff.”
“Yeah, I know what it is.” And if he was any judge, they were damn good at it.
“Good sex really isn’t considered a basis for a long-standing relationship.”
“God, I hate that word,” he muttered.
“What word?”
“Relationship,” he snapped. “Everyone tosses that word around these days to cover everything from a parent and a child to married couples. Relationship problems. How to build a successful relationship.” He shook his head. “What we’re talking about here is getting married and providing our daughter with two parents.”
“She has two parents.”
“I mean two parents together.”
“Oh, really?” she asked, tipping her head to one side and staring at him thoughtfully. “Together? So you’re saying if we got married, you’d leave the Corps. Leave Force Recon and be a regular nine-to-five husband and father?”
A cold chill crawled up his spine at the thought of spending the rest of his life tucked away behind a desk. He’d go out of his mind in nothing flat. He loved his job. Hell, he was good at it. And he wasn’t at all sure he could give it up. Not even for Kelly.
And what did that make him?
“Uh-huh,” she said, obviously reading his thoughts by the expression on his face. “I thought not. So what is this ‘together’ stuff?”
He scrubbed one hand across his face. “By together, I mean married. A couple. A family. With one name. A mom and a dad and a kid.”
She sighed and shoved both hands through her hair, sculpting it back from her face, giving him a clear look at her high cheekbones, wide green eyes and lush mouth. Something inside him tightened. God, she was gorgeous. And Jeff wanted her again with a fierceness that shook him to his bones.
Her hands dropped to her sides, and she looked at him as if willing him to understand. Which he didn’t.
“Jeff,” she said in a weary voice, “I don’t want a husband. Any husband.”
Well, he thought, at least it wasn’t just him she was refusing. It wasn’t personal. This was something that went deeper for her. He didn’t know if that was a good thing or not, either. On the one hand, if it wasn’t him she had a problem with, he still had a chance to convince her. But if she simply had a problem with marriage, it was going to be hard to get past that.
And it wasn’t as if this was easy for him, either. Hell, if there was one thing in life he’d never been interested in, it was marriage. He just wasn’t the kind of man women looked at and thought, Ah, husband material.
He was more the type for one-night stands and the occasional spectacular weekend. Until Kelly, that is. Ever since those two weeks with her, Jeff had been haunted by thoughts of what-if. It wasn’t just the fact of Emily’s presence that had him wondering about a life with Kelly. It was her and how she made him feel when he was with her.
Emily had simply speeded up the process.
Marriage itself was still a terrifying prospect. But he’d never be able to look in a mirror again if he didn’t do everything possible to get her to agree. A man wasn’t worth much if he didn’t stand up and take responsibility for his actions.
“Hell, Kelly,” he said, folding his arms across his chest and giving her a half smile, “I’m not just any husband.”
One corner of her mouth quirked as she shook her head. “Good one.”
“Thanks,” he said, “I try.”
As she blew out a breath, those curls danced above her forehead and Jeff smiled at the picture she made. Not many women could stand there stone naked and argue without the slightest hint of embarrassment. Yep. Kelly was one in a million.
“I don’t want to fight anymore, Jeff. That’s not why I came here tonight.”
“Why did you come?” he asked softly.
She sighed, waved her hands to indicate her nudity and admitted, “To see you.”
“I’m glad.”
“Are you?” she asked. “Even with the arguing?”
“Baby, I’ve missed that about you, too,” he admitted, walking across the room to stop directly in front of her. Reaching out, he rubbed his palms up and down her upper arms and smiled to himself when she sort of leaned in toward him. “There’s nobody I’d rather argue with.”
“Hmm…”
“Don’t believe me?” he asked, smiling. “Trust me, Travis, Deke and J.T. don’t look nearly as good as you do when their tempers are up.”
“You’re a real sweet talker, aren’t you?” she asked, that quirk tugging at her mouth again.
“When I have to be.”
Her smile faded at that.
“Jeff…” She lifted her gaze to his, and he found himself falling into the depths of her green eyes. At that moment, he would have promised her anything.
“Yeah?”
“Could we stop arguing—just for tonight?”
An easy enough thing to promise. Hell, he didn’t want to argue anymore, either. Not after waiting a year and a half just to get his hands on her again. Besides, there would be plenty enough time to go over his proposal in the next two weeks. He wasn’t a man to give up easy and he figured she knew that.
“Sure,” he said, and pulled her close, holding her up against him, reveling in the soft feel of her body aligned along his. When her arms went around his waist, he breathed deep, drawing her scent inside him where he would keep it, along with the memory of this moment, forever. “I think we can do that.”
She nestled in close, laying her head on his chest, and Jeff rested his chin atop her head. They stood locked together in the moonlit shadows and measured the passing seconds in heartbeats.
Hours later, Kelly woke up alone in the king-size bed. One arm stretched out, reaching for Jeff, but all she found was what felt like an acre of cool sheets. She blinked and sat up, trying to wake, wondering where he’d gone.
Grabbing up the closest piece of clothing, she slipped one of Jeff’s T-shirts over her head and smiled to herself when the hem came down to the middle of her thighs. A big man, she told herself and smiled ag
ain, remembering just how well she’d relearned that body of his during the past few hours.
Her muscles ached, but if a minor discomfort was the price to be paid for feeling as well loved as she did, then it was worth it. No wonder the military wives she’d come to know in the past year or two never seemed to mind their husbands being deployed. Oh, boy, when they came back home, they more than made up for their absence!
Sex with Jeff had always been intense, explosive. But tonight… She inhaled sharply and blew it out again, trying to steady herself. Tonight, he’d outdone himself. Tonight, they’d crossed the line from “pretty amazing” into “downright awesome.”
His scent still clung to her, and Kelly had the feeling that it might never wear off. It was as though he’d been trying to burn himself into her mind and body and soul.
And darn if he hadn’t, she thought, stepping out of the bedroom into the darkened living room. Her knees went weak just recalling the mind-numbing climaxes she’d experienced in his arms. And the memories alone were enough to thicken her blood and get it coursing hot and heavy through her veins.
“For pity’s sake,” she muttered, astonished at her own eagerness. Until Jeff had come into her life, she hadn’t been very impressed with sex. Frankly, she’d always much preferred sleeping. Her one or two encounters in college really had not prepared her for the reality that was Jeff Hunter.
She’d had no idea she could have such an…appetite. Her craving for him seemed endless, bottomless. It was as though the more he touched her, the more she needed. And that realization shook her, hard.
Because Jeff wasn’t satisfied being her lover. He’d made up his mind to be her husband.
Seven
A warning bell went off in the back of her mind, and Kelly knew that sooner or later she and Jeff were going to have to settle this marriage business once and for all. But now, she told herself, wasn’t the time. Now she only wanted to find him. Hold him. Feel his arms go around her and pretend that this was all just a repeat of their first two weeks together.
Her gaze swept the dark room and noted instantly the billowing curtains fluttering at the open sliding glass doors. Moonlight was dim now, as morning looked to be just an hour or so away. She moved closer to the tiny balcony and noticed the stars fading in a slowly lightening sky. Then her gaze locked on Jeff’s broad, bare back.
Worn, faded blue jeans were his one concession to clothing and they clung to his rear and long legs so closely that he looked even sexier than he would have naked. He stood, one hip cocked, hands on the rail, staring out at the smooth-as-glass ocean. The scent of the sea wafted through the doors at her, and she lifted her chin into the soft breeze, feeling damp, cool fingers draw her hair back from her face.
Taking a deep, fortifying breath, she stepped out onto the balcony and took up a spot beside him.
He wasn’t startled by her presence, and Kelly had the eerie feeling that he’d known all along that she’d been there behind him. Must be some sort of sixth sense a man acquired after spending years fighting for his life. That thought flitted through her mind, and she quailed from it. She didn’t want to think about Jeff in danger. Jeff, hiding in jungles, dodging bullets from an unseen enemy. She’d managed to avoid imagining such scenarios during the year and a half they were apart and she sure as heck didn’t want to think about them now.
“You’re up early,” she said, keeping her gaze fixed on the horizon and the sweep of pale pink color just beginning to reach across the sky from the east.
“Used to it, I guess,” he said, keeping his voice as soft as the morning. He glanced at her briefly, then looked back at the ever changing ocean. “My T-shirt looks good on you.”
“Thanks. I, uh, couldn’t find my clothes,” she said on a chuckle.
He smiled and Kelly’s gaze locked on his profile. High cheekbones, a strong jaw and a nose that looked as if it had been broken more than once, all combined to make a face so ruggedly chiseled, Jeff was a poster boy for God’s best work. He turned to look at her, and the look in his eyes sent a pang of emotion shooting straight into her heart.
“What?” she asked, reaching over to cover one of his hands with hers. “What is it?”
“I’ve been thinking,” he admitted. “It’s a good time for it. Quiet. Just before the day’s born.”
“And?” she asked hesitantly, hoping to heaven he wasn’t going to start on the whole marriage thing again so soon.
“And,” he repeated on a sigh, “I was wondering. What did you look like pregnant?”
The question was so not what she was expecting, Kelly only stared at him for a long minute. Then when it fully registered, she gave a short, rueful laugh and shook her head. “Like a beach ball,” she said. “Short and round.”
In fact, through most of her pregnancy, she’d been seriously grateful that Jeff couldn’t see her. Short women and pregnancy were not a good match, she thought and remembered how she used to stare at the taller moms-to-be at her doctor’s office with such envy. Even at their biggest, those women had somehow managed to look…aglow. While Kelly, on the other hand, had looked like a barrel with legs.
She’d often wondered if Jeff would have been appalled or entranced by the changes in her body, but the coward in her was simply pleased she’d never have to find out.
“I bet you looked beautiful.”
She laughed then, a loud, short burst of sound that had her clapping one hand over her mouth. After all, it was a little early to be waking everyone else at the hotel.
“Not even close,” she said. “My brothers insisted that if there was just some way to rig the lights, they’d hire me out as a blimp.”
He scowled at that, and Kelly was instantly sorry she’d mentioned her brothers. “They were just teasing me,” she said quickly.
“Yeah, right,” he muttered, more to himself than to her, and added, “at least they were here for you,” so softly she almost missed it.
“Jeff…”
“Did you hate me?” he asked bluntly, and this time kept his gaze fixed on the water below them. “For leaving you pregnant and alone?”
“No,” she said, pulling him around until he was forced to look at her. She had to convince him of this, if nothing else. “Of course not. First,” she reminded him, “I wasn’t alone. My family was here.”
“Yeah, and they were thrilled with me.”
“This isn’t about them.”
“You’re right,” he said. “This is about you and me, and I need to know. Did you hate me?”
She looked directly into his eyes, willing him to read the truth in hers. Then she said very slowly, “No. I never hated you for making me pregnant.”
Some of the tension seeped out of his body, and she went on quickly, hoping to ease away the rest. “It’s not as if I had nothing to do with it, you know.”
A small, too brief smile quirked his mouth and was gone again. “Yeah, I remember.”
“It wasn’t either of our faults that the condom failed.”
“I’m still thinking about suing the company,” he growled.
“Pointless,” she told him. “It says right on the box that they’re ninety-eight percent effective. They gave themselves an out clause.”
“Hmm…clever and ineffective.”
Stewing about how and why a condom failed was useless. She’d learned that herself eighteen months ago. Better to just deal with the reality and accept it. “Jeff, what happened, happened for a reason.”
“You believe that?”
“I do,” she said, and put every ounce of her conviction into the words. She meant it. Every time she looked into Emily’s little face, that feeling grew. There was a reason for that baby. A reason she’d been conceived against all odds. A reason she’d come into the world at all.
Just because Kelly didn’t know what that reason was, didn’t negate it.
“Wish I knew what it was,” he murmured.
“Does it really matter?” she asked, and hoped he’d say no.
For Emily’s sake, she didn’t want her baby’s father to be regretting the child’s existence.
A long minute passed before he answered her, and Kelly didn’t realize she was holding her breath until it whooshed out of her chest when he spoke.
“No, it doesn’t.”
“Good,” she said, feeling relief sweep through her. For Emily’s sake, she told herself. It was only Emily’s feelings she was concerned with here.
Turning her around in his grasp, Jeff faced the ocean again and drew her close, her back to his front. Wrapping his arms around her, he held her tightly and said, “Tell me about it.”
“It?” she asked, reaching up to lay her hands on his crossed forearms.
“Your pregnancy. Labor. Delivery.” He shrugged and she felt the motion ripple through her. “I want to know everything. Everything I missed.”
His voice carried a silent plea that arrowed into her heart in a swift, sure thrust. He had missed so much, she thought. He’d come home from a series of dangerous missions to discover a daughter he’d known nothing about. And now he was trying, the only way he could, to become a part of that little girl’s life. To know her as her mother did. To be more than the man who’d created her.
To be her father.
Kelly’s heart ached sweetly, and she caressed his arms with gentle, soothing strokes.
Somewhere off to the east, the sun was rising, reaching out with warm hands to caress the night sky and draw pale, soft colors onto its surface. Five stories below them, a handful of surfers in wet suits were already in the cold water, paddling out on the glassy ocean, waiting, hoping for waves to begin a slow curl toward shore.
And while the world woke up, Kelly talked.
Jeff listened and as she spoke, his mind created images to go along with the words. In his imagination, he saw Kelly, round with his child. Going to work, playing with the kindergartners she so clearly adored. Unwrapping clumsily wrapped presents for the baby. Hearing the baby names twenty five-year-olds had come up with.
He saw her in the doctor’s office. Felt her excitement at her first ultrasound when she actually saw Emily inside her. And he also felt a flash of regret that he hadn’t been there, holding her hand, staring at that screen and trying to make out the features of his child on a fuzzed-out screen. He listened to her talk about her brothers and tried not to resent the fact that it had been the Rogan brothers who’d been there to help her, not him. They’d mowed her grass, taken her grocery shopping, set up Emily’s crib and painted the nursery. They’d been there for their little sister at the most important time of her life, while Jeff hadn’t even had a clue as to what was going on.
His Baby! Page 6