Redemption of a Hollywood Starlet

by Kimberly Lang

  Yeah, New York was going to be too close as well.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ALTHOUGH the set was officially closed to the media at large, they simply couldn’t afford to keep all the press away. Interviews had to be done; the project had to be pimped properly. So, while she’d much rather go back to her trailer for a rest from the heat and a little peace and quiet, Caitlyn put her game face on and smiled back at the over-excited reporter from Insider Unlimited.

  The first few questions were the usual—what was it like to be back? How excited was she to be a part of Folly?—and Caitlyn fell back on stock answers to save her energy for the questions to come. And they did.

  “So, Caitlyn …” The I’m-your-best-girlfriend tone was a dead giveaway that the next question was a zinger. “We’ve heard there’s some tension on the set between you and Naomi Harte.”

  “There’s always tension in any production,” she interrupted with an airy wave of her hand. “We’re all working very hard, very long hours, and it’s really hot this summer. It makes us all grouchy.” She kept her voice light. “The relationship between Angela and Rebecca is very complex and emotional, and maybe folks confused on-camera tension with real life. All I can say is that Naomi is perfect for the role of Angela, and it’s wonderful to be working with her again.”

  The plastic smile of the reporter faltered for a moment, but then she narrowed in. “Three years ago you had a very public and dramatic relationship with Finn Marshall. Does it make things awkward now?”

  She’d prepared herself for this, practicing low-key answers that couldn’t be misquoted out of context. “Only in that I never knew how hard-working Finn really is, and how much he cares about this project. As a producer, he has the Herculean task of making things happen. Keeping a production of this size and complexity running smoothly is much harder than people think. I never had the opportunity to work with him before now, and I’m just blown away that he’s that good at what he does.” There—that should shut her up for a bit.

  “So there’s no problem?”

  “None,” she lied with a shrug.

  “And the rumors about you and your co-star Jason Elkins?”

  She’d practiced this, too, and she knew her smile was the perfect mix of humor and censure. She’d learned the art of this dodge from Mom, the true master of misdirecting the press. “Are probably greatly exaggerated. We are spending a lot of time together, but that’s the great part about liking and respecting your coworkers. You have someone fun to hang out with after work.”

  Whether it was from disappointment that Caitlyn wasn’t giving the answers she wanted or something else, the reporter wrapped up quickly after that and thanked Caitlyn before moving on to her next interview.

  Proud of the way she’d handled that, Caitlyn sipped at her water and pulled out her phone while she could still ride on that high.

  Her mother answered on the third ring. “Caity, darling! How are you?”

  Where to begin? She couldn’t exactly tell her mother that she was caught in a melodrama that had nothing to do with the script. Not when Mom had taken her at her word that this time would be different. Without embarrassment to the Reese legacy.

  “I’m okay,” she hedged. “Just had a few minutes and thought I’d say hi.”

  “I only have a couple of minutes myself. We are actually about to board a plane for Spain.”

  Of course. “I forgot about that. Daddy’s getting some award, isn’t he?”

  “Lifetime Achievement. And he sends love.”

  “Love back to him. I guess we’ll talk when you get back.”

  “Is everything okay there?”

  “Yeah, of course. We’re a little behind schedule, but …”

  “Oh, it’s so annoying when that happens. You should—”

  Caitlyn could hear her father in the background, hurrying Mom along.

  “Look, darling, I’ve got to go. You know how John is. I’d tell you to be wonderful, but I know you will be. I’ll call when I get a free minute tomorrow.”

  “Okay. Bye,” she said, but the line was already dead, and she knew that “tomorrow” really meant sometime next week, when her mother remembered her again.

  Caitlyn felt slightly deflated, but not surprised. Her parents were always on the move, always had been, and she was quite used to it. It came with the territory. Hell, she’d gone through this very issue with her therapist a dozen times as a child, and the mantras came back easily. John and Margaret Reese didn’t belong to her; they belonged to everyone. That didn’t mean they didn’t love her, but they had careers that demanded so much of them she had to adjust her demands and expectations.

  Maybe it was for the best. There was no reason to dump her problems at their feet. It wasn’t as if they could do anything. She’d handle this the way she handled everything else, and if she needed advice she’d call her agent.

  They’d be at the premiere, though. They never missed one of those. When she felt cynical she credited the photo op, but she knew they came because they were proud of her. And they’d be even more so when they saw Folly. Mom wasn’t the only one a little envious right now; Daddy had gotten his nose a little out of joint at hearing one of his protégés would be directing. He’d been after Folly’s rights for years.

  Everything would be fine in the end.

  But first she had to get through filming without having the whole thing drive her over the edge. She felt jumpy and tense, and no amount of meditation could help alleviate the stress of navigating this minefield. A strong drink sounded grand.

  Taking a deep breath, she headed back to Wardrobe, past where the reporter was now interviewing Naomi with over-the-top gushing. Caitlyn maneuvered behind her cameraman just in time to hear the reporter say, “So, has there been any tension between you and Caitlyn Reese over your new romance with Finn Marshall?”

  Caitlyn stumbled, and Naomi shot her a sly smile before turning back to the camera.

  But she couldn’t hear Naomi’s response over the roar in her ears.

  She managed to avoid Finn for the next week. Well, mostly. It was impossible to completely avoid him on set, but she kept those interactions quick and tried to include an audience whenever possible. That audience and her determination to focus solely on business didn’t stop Finn from making inside jokes that had her gritting her teeth, but it helped her hold her tongue and not say anything she’d regret.

  While she could physically avoid him as much as possible, mentally Finn was constantly bothering her. She’d gotten to the point where she couldn’t film a romantic scene with Jason without picturing Finn the whole time. Method acting had taken on a whole new meaning in her life, and she wished she’d never even heard of it.

  Most of her scenes in the film ran parallel to Naomi’s, but the ones they did have together had taken on a sharp edge that the director loved. And, again, that came from Finn. Their characters were supposed to be at odds over Jason’s character, but the real-life idea of Naomi and Finn added extra bite in their performances. Caitlyn told herself that Finn wasn’t her business, but the fact it was Naomi of all people just rubbed her the wrong way.

  Thankfully, she didn’t have to witness any nuzzling or snuggling on the set—they were both too professional for that—but the papers were full of Naomi and Finn having a quiet dinner or seeing a movie. Even Jason started to get a little annoyed—he didn’t mind sharing the headlines with Naomi, but Finn taking those headlines was just too much for his ego. Their “quiet dinner” hadn’t garnered nearly as much attention as Finn and Naomi’s. Tempers were running high all over the place, and the heat didn’t have much to do with it.

  Caitlyn felt as if she was living in the middle of a melodrama. Her countdown of days left on the set was all that kept her sane. It would all be worth it soon enough. She could do this.

  Of course just as Caitlyn almost had herself believing this little pep talk, the whole plan had to go to hell.

  Chris, the assistant director, was a
native New Yorker, and had joined her today at a table in the shade for a snack. Their conversation had turned into a debate over the best place to get Korean barbecue in the city. She had just elicited a promise from him to at least try her favorite place before he recommitted to his earlier choice when he suddenly looked up and shouted Finn’s name.

  “Sorry, Caitlyn, but I’ve been trying to track him down all day. It won’t take a minute.”

  That gave her a whole five seconds to steel herself before Finn sat down across from her. “Hi, Finn. If you two need to talk, I’ll go.”

  Finn gave her a strange look that said he was well aware she was trying to avoid him as he returned the greeting. She made to leave.

  “No, don’t,” Chris said. “You’re not finished eating, and it’s not like we have something top secret to discuss.”

  Put like that, she didn’t have any reason not to sit there while Chris and Finn went over something about the schedule. She checked her phone for messages, sent an email to her parents and quietly looked up her name on Google to see if anything had made the blogs.

  She heard, “See you later, Caitlyn,” and looked up to see Chris leaving, already involved in a conversation on his own phone. That left Finn at the table with her, and awkwardness settled in quickly.

  For her, at least. Awkwardness of any sort just wasn’t in Finn’s repertoire of emotions. He seemed totally at ease. Casually dressed in a tee shirt and jeans, he looked ready to step into a music video, while she felt wrung-out and haggard and in desperate need of a trip to Makeup. And while it was comfortable enough here in the shade, and a nice breeze had finally kicked up, his hairline was damp, as if he’d been doing something in the sun to work up a sweat. The entire effect was one of ease and confidence. How did he manage that? It just wasn’t fair. She just felt wilted.

  “So how are you, Cait? I haven’t see you in a few days.” He picked up his sandwich and took a bite. Now she really was stuck. There was no way she could walk off and leave him to eat alone—especially since she knew how much she hated to do exactly that.

  Breathe. “Good. And you?”

  He shrugged. “You and Jason got the cover of Star Track this week.”

  As did you and Naomi. Pride kept her from saying anything, though. “That’s what you wanted, right?”

  Finn’s over-dramatic sigh was almost funny. “I wanted a shoot uncomplicated by outside problems. A media circus—regardless of the cause—only makes my job harder.”

  Since Finn was dating his talent rather publically, that rang a little false. “Jason and I were your brilliant idea.”

  Finn shook his head as he swallowed. “Actually, it was Dolby’s.”

  “Whatever. Whoever was responsible for starting the whispers did a good job. You’ll notice those pictures are completely innocent until a heavy layer of speculation is applied.”

  An eyebrow went up. “So it is all just a rumor?”

  She nearly choked. “Of course it is. How can you even ask that?”

  “I’ve seen your love scenes.” He smirked and she wanted to kick him under the table. “They’re hot. And emotional.”

  Caitlyn felt the blood rush to her face. She hoped he’d think it was from the compliment he’d just paid her. The truth would go with her to her grave. “Thank you.”

  “I can see how folks might think—”

  “But you should know better. Anyway, only people who have never tried to kiss someone when there are dozens of people watching and there’s a camera ten inches from your face would ever think anything like that. It’s far from romantic.”

  “So how do you do it?”

  Finally her chance to give him a little bit of that mock back. “It’s called acting. I’m sure you’re familiar with the concept.”

  That earned her a frown. “I meant you, specifically.”

  “Why?” she knew she sounded suspicious and defensive, but she couldn’t help it.

  Surprise crossed his face. “Because I’m interested in craft.”

  It was her turn to be surprised. “Since when?” Never once had they talked about craft. Or business, either.

  He shrugged again. It pushed her over the edge. “Please stop doing that.”

  “What?”

  “Shrugging. Don’t ask a question and then pretend the answer doesn’t matter. Either you care about something or you don’t.”

  “That’s a lot to read into one shrug.”

  Only because she had a history with that shrug. It practically defined everything that had been wrong with their entire relationship. Not that she was going to tell him that. “Lesson one on craft, then. Body language matters. It doesn’t matter what comes out of your mouth or what you meant. What people perceive is what they believe. And that’s just as true on-screen as off.”

  “You sound awfully bitter about something.”

  “I have cause to be, don’t you think? I learned that lesson the hard way.”

  “Poor Cait.”

  She would not let him rile her. “The fast trip from rising star to cautionary tale is fueled solely by what people perceive about what they see.”

  “It wasn’t that bad.”

  “Please. The only thing that kept me from being blackballed in the industry was my parents. That and the public’s never-ending interest in watching a train wreck.”

  “You’re exaggerating. I was there, remember?”

  Did she ever. “Finn, you have many fine qualities, but I wouldn’t list ‘keen powers of observation’ among them.”

  “I’d argue I was watching you pretty closely.”

  She ignored the double meaning to snap, “Yet you didn’t seem to notice when I was imploding personally and professionally.”

  “Do you actually believe your own press? If I’d thought for a second that you really had half the problems the tabloids accused you of I’d have said something.”

  “Beyond ‘Have another drink, Cait’? You were part of my problem.”

  “So that’s the grounds for your grudge.”

  “I wouldn’t call it a grudge. It’s just a memory of that hard-learned lesson.”

  “Which was …?”

  She sighed. “Forget it, Finn.”

  “No, you’re the one who brought it up. If it’s the root cause of your attitude, let’s clear the air.”

  She looked around. “I don’t think now is the time or place.”

  “Seems like a good time to me. That way we can move on.”

  Wasn’t that exactly what she wanted? To move on?

  “Fine. The truth of the matter is that you were my drug of choice, and like any addict I lived for it and the way it made me feel.” The words started out difficult to say, but then the gates opened and everything began to rush out in a flood. “And, just like any other drug, it was destructive. The more I loved you and the more fun we had, the more my world shrank to where you were the only thing. As long as I was on that Finn high I didn’t have to worry about living up to my parents’ or the public’s expectations. I thought I could win the world over by just being me and living my life the way I wanted.” She stopped for a breath, and an oddly cathartic feeling washed over her at finally saying it all out loud.

  “And what’s wrong with that?”

  “It might have worked for you, but me … I lost the respect of my peers, my family, my fans. And the worse it got, the more I let you convince me more of the same was the answer.”

  Those green eyes met hers in surprise. “I thought we were having a good time.”

  It was her turn to sigh. “And that’s what’s so dangerous. And sad. A good time was all you cared about, and I was your good-time girl back then. When it all landed on my head and the press decided I was flaming out, your answer was to go to Baja for the weekend.”

  “I thought you might need to get away for a few days.”

  “What I needed was you to realize that I was in trouble. For you to do something other than shrug it all off. Maybe for you to realize that a dru
nken Mexican adventure wasn’t quite the right way to convince folks that I wasn’t one step from rehab.”

  “That explains what you were ranting about that night.”

  “And it didn’t seem to faze you at all. I’d just lost a really nice endorsement deal because I wasn’t considered stable or professional enough, and you didn’t care.”

  “I didn’t know. There’s a difference.”

  Her temper was burning hot now. So much for not letting him rile her. As much as she hadn’t wanted to go there, now she couldn’t stop. “Not when the reason you didn’t know was because you didn’t care enough to actually ask.”

  “So that’s your grudge. I wasn’t exactly what you wanted at that exact moment in time. The world can’t always revolve around you, you know.”

  “But it’s got to revolve around something.” She crossed her arms over her chest. “You’ve perfected the art of not giving a damn. Somehow it seems to be working for you, but damned if I know how. So there’s the root of my so-called grudge. I needed an adult, a partner—not another addict who needed me to enable his quest of thumbing his nose at the whole world.”

  “Oh, so everything was all my fault?”

  “I’ll take responsibility for my own stupid actions, and I’ve now paid the price for them.”

  “To paraphrase my sister-in-law, our mistakes are what make us the people we are today. You seem to be doing all right.”

  “As do you. And that’s what’s dangerous for anyone who falls into your orbit. I don’t deny that I learned a lot and had a hell of a good time while the times were good. But that doesn’t mean that I’m not allowed to have regrets, either.”

  Finn seemed oddly pleased. “I’m glad you finally admitted it.”

  “What? That I have regrets?”

  “No, that we had a good time.”

  “There’s more to life than a good time.”

  “That’s what life is for.”

  “You know, Finn, it must be nice to have the world on a platter and no worries at all. But the rest of us aren’t that lucky. And that’s probably a good thing. One Finn Marshall is more than enough for this world.”