Redemption of a Hollywood Starlet

by Kimberly Lang

  Damn it. He’d trade his trust fund for a good answer—if for no other reason than to remove that look from her face. He reached for his shirt instead, and heard her snort as he pulled it on.

  Cait got ready for bed as he got dressed, and while she didn’t exactly shove him out the door there wasn’t much in the way of a proper goodbye. She had the lights off before he was even fully down the stairs.

  It did feel rather tawdry—regardless of her valid reason for kicking him out.

  And he didn’t like it at all.

  It was another hot, sticky day on the set and everyone’s tempers were running on short fuses. Except Caitlyn’s.

  She was exhausted and distracted, but the endorphins still flowing through her body kept her temper at bay. She had too much on her mind, anyway, to get pulled into petty squabbles, and, since she really didn’t want to accidentally say something she might regret later, she claimed a headache. Asking one of the production assistants to come get her when they were ready for her, she went back to her trailer to lie down.

  The sleep she’d supposedly kicked Finn out in order to get hadn’t come for a long while. She’d known what would happen if she let Finn in last night, but there hadn’t been a way to resist the irresistible.

  Was it smart? No. But then hadn’t she decided their entire relationship showed a remarkable lack of good judgment? She allowed herself a tiny smile. Finn would be hard to resist even if she didn’t have so many memories of how good they could be together—physically, at least. Had it been enjoyable? Oh, definitely.

  But that didn’t stop her from regretting it. Just a little. Sex only confused things, complicating an already complicated situation. Just when she felt she’d figured out who she wanted to be, Finn threw three years of soul-searching and planning out the window with a smile and a kiss. And that meant she hadn’t really changed that much at all.

  Her excuse for making him leave last night had been valid, but it had also been a much-needed out from the situation. Something had awakened inside her and she needed time to sort out what that meant. She was just glad he hadn’t flat-out asked to stay, because she would have had a very hard time saying no.

  And she probably would have slept much better with Finn as her pillow, because Finn made everything seem so easy. Accept something at face value for what it was and it became simple. Addictive.

  She was smart enough to know that not all things that felt good—or even slightly right—were necessarily good in the long run. But even that knowledge didn’t allow her to relax, and the minutes ticked by slowly as she stared at the ceiling.

  “Fifteen minutes, Caitlyn.” The knock on her door and the voice brought her back to earth.

  She gave herself a strong shake. It probably had been inevitable, but she had it out of her system now. People went back to their exes all the time for a little relief, so she could cut herself some slack, chalk it up to the shock of being around Finn again and go back to her original plan.

  Feeling resolved and more focused, Caitlyn grabbed her water bottle and went back to the set.

  That resolve lasted all of five minutes, as Finn was deep in conversation with the assistant director not five feet from where she needed to be. She looked inward for focus and shrugged out of her robe. She made the mistake of looking at Finn as she draped it over the back of her chair.

  His smile was appreciative, not leering, but it still had her tugging at the bodice of the bathing suit. But there was a warmth in his eyes, too, that knocked her off balance a little.

  Even more disturbing was the little glow that it lit inside her chest.

  Ah, hell.

  Finn felt a bit foolish watching Cait’s trailer from the window of the office trailer. It was late, and everything shut down for the day hours ago, yet Cait hadn’t returned to her trailer. Her rental car was still there, meaning she hadn’t returned to the city for the night, but he didn’t know where she was. Her trailer was dark, but there were lights on in some of the others, indicating she was in one of them. But short of going door-to-door looking for her …

  No, he might feel foolish, but there was no reason to act foolish as well.

  He glanced back to the email that was half-occupying his attention, and when he looked up, he saw the door to Cait’s trailer close and the light inside come on. He shut down the computer and crossed the short distance separating the trailers.

  He didn’t bother to knock, and Cait merely looked up in surprise. “Oh, it’s you. What’s up?”

  Her beautiful hair was pulled up in a ponytail that curled over her shoulder before she tossed it back in an impatient gesture. In a pair of frayed and tattered jeans, a tee shirt that hugged her curves and flip-flops, she looked like a fresh-faced college student. The battered leather backpack he remembered only completed the look, but that didn’t stop the lust that had been kept simmering all day from roiling to a boil in his veins.

  He wanted to pounce on her at the same time as he simply wanted to enjoy the moment and prolong it. “You’re here late tonight.”

  “As are you,” she said, then rubbed her hands over her face like she was frustrated. “There is a cold beer and a hot bath calling my name, so …”

  He ignored the hint. “Why so stressed?”

  “Not stressed. Just tired. I’ve spent the last two hours reading through with Naomi and Jason for tomorrow. It’s exhausting.”

  He sat on the little couch. “Something not right?”

  She dropped her backpack and sat at the other end, scrubbing a hand across her face. “Oh … No … I mean, it’s fine. Just tense. And the tension is quite draining.”

  “If Naomi’s giving you a hard time …”

  She sighed and seemed to sink into the cushions as she leaned back and closed her eyes. “I can handle her. In a way it’s funny—sad funny, not ha-ha funny. If I didn’t know better, I’d feel bad. But it’s her problem, not mine. And it’s going to make that scene really amazing.” She opened her eyes and smiled tiredly. “And that’s what matters, right?”

  Finn didn’t know if he should feel insulted or not at her casual attitude. After all but kicking him out last night, she’d pretty much avoided him all day today. And while he’d caught at least one look thrown in his direction that defied interpretation, she was otherwise acting as if nothing at all had happened.

  And these days he had no idea what was acting and what wasn’t.

  But something had happened. That had been real, and it called him back to her tonight against all good sense.

  “Is this going to take long?” She pushed to her feet and went to stand front of her fridge with the door open and a pensive look on her face.

  Her words collided hard with thoughts headed in a direction of what would take all night. He shook himself. “What?”

  “Whatever you’re here for.”

  What was he here for, exactly? Oh, he knew what his body wanted, but for the first time ever he felt oddly conflicted. This was new and disturbing—and it was a feeling he associated only with Cait. “It might. Why?”

  “Then I’m going to open this.” She held up a beer bottle. A bump of her hip had the door closed and she was screwing the top off. “I don’t normally drink at all on the set, but I do keep one on hand in case of an emergency. Want half? I’ll fall asleep on the way home if I drink the whole thing.”

  “Lightweight,” he teased, but he nodded as well.

  “I swore off alcohol for a while when I moved to London. All those people who were ‘concerned about my drinking problem—’” she included the air quotes “—should be glad to hear I haven’t had more than a buzz in three years.”

  “So the rumors about rehab …”

  Cait poured half the beer in a coffee cup before offering him the bottle and keeping the cup for herself. Instead of returning to the couch to sit, she leaned against the table. “Aren’t true. Once I got away from everything—my parents, the press …” She trailed off and wouldn’t meet his eyes.

 
; “Me?”

  She looked up, considering, before she finally nodded. “Yes, even you to a degree. My stress levels went way down and I had less need to find solace in a bottle. I found healthier ways to deal with things—meditation, yoga …” At his laugh, she stopped. “What?”

  “A California girl has to move to London to discover meditation and yoga? That’s got to be a first.”

  That finally earned him a smile. “I even became a vegetarian for a while, but bacon tempted me back. I love British bacon. I think I gained ten pounds from bacon alone.”

  “It looks good on you.” He let his eyes wander over her until she began to blush. “I’m serious. You used to take starving starlet to a new level.”

  “Just another thing I didn’t have to worry about once I left.” Cait finally moved back to her place on the couch. This time when she sat, she left her shoes on the floor and stretched her legs across the cushions with another deep sigh. “By the way, one of the P.A.s mentioned that your brother and his wife are going to be extras tomorrow?”

  He sat the bottle on the table and lifted her feet into his lap. Digging his thumbs into the ball of her foot, he began to rub them the way she liked. She groaned and closed her eyes in pleasure. “Ethan and Lily. They’re pretty much just scenery, so don’t worry that it will be amateur hour.”

  She opened one eye. “I guess I should apologize for that crack. You did a great job.” He warmed a little, because that wasn’t a compliment Cait would throw out casually. “My question, though, is why has this become a family affair?”

  “Like I said, Folly is a present for my grandfather. Putting his grandchildren in it is just an extra surprise.”

  “That’s really sweet of you.” Cait’s forehead wrinkled as something occurred to her, then she nodded. “Ah, I understand now.”

  His hands stilled. “Understand what?”

  She wiggled toes painted a garish shade of red until his fingers started to move again. “Why you’ve been so involved and constantly hovering over this project.”

  “Because the damn thing is a three-ring circus.”

  She shook her head as his hands moved to her calf and squeezed the muscle. “No. This is the one thing your brothers can’t do for your grandfather.”

  Her perceptiveness caught him off-guard. He’d never hidden the fact that this film had personal importance to him because of Granddad, but he’d never said anything about his brothers. Cait had always managed to get deeper under his skin than he liked, but still … He frowned at her.

  “Oh, don’t do that. Probably no one else but me has figured that out. You don’t give a damn about much, but your grandparents are the exception. So I understand.”

  “And what makes you think—?”

  “You tend to talk a lot when you’re drunk.” She grinned at him.

  “I do not.”

  “You do, honey. Or you did, at least. Your family was one of your favorite topics, and I can read between the lines. Your brothers live close to home, do the family business thing and they’re the ‘good’ ones. But, no matter what they do for your grandfather, making him a film is something only you can do. I think it’s wonderful, and I’m honored to be a part of it.” She lifted the coffee cup in a mock toast. “Here’s to making your family proud of their wild child.”

  So she wanted to dig into psyches tonight? Fine. He could play that game. “And yours,” he added, lifting the bottle.

  She stiffened, but didn’t say anything.

  “Oh, come on, Cait, you outright babble when you’re drunk. You think I don’t know that you’re out to prove something to your parents? You always were, and I don’t see a stint in exile changing that. In fact, some might say it’s what’s fueling your return.”

  Her mouth twisted, but she didn’t try to deny it. “Then here’s to living up to expectations. For once. May we both be successful.”

  “Those are two different things, Cait.”

  “Maybe for you,” she scoffed. “I think we’ve established that the rest of us see the world a little differently.”

  “Maybe you established that. I don’t agree.”

  Cait lifted her hands in surrender. “I’m too tired to fight with you again.”

  He gentled the massage into a caress. “That’s certainly not why I’m here.”

  “I figured that much.” She pulled her legs out of his lap and curled them up to her chest. Wrapping her arms around them, she rested her cheek on her knees. “And it’s tempting, but I don’t think it’s wise.”

  It took him a second to figure that out, and the rejection stung. It was tempered, however, by the sigh of regret in her voice. “And that’s because …?”

  “It’s not healthy. Or fair, really, for me to use you that. Like a crutch.”

  He didn’t fully understand her words. “I’m a crutch?”

  She nodded, but her lips twisted. “Coming home is tough—tougher than I thought—but I shouldn’t lean on you to make it easier for me. I think I need to stand on my own this time instead of using you to prop me up. It’s wrong.”

  “I’m not complaining.”

  “No.” She chuckled. “You wouldn’t. But if I’m going to get my life back on track, I can’t get all tangled up with you again. To be honest, you’re dangerously addictive, and I don’t see it ending well.”

  “You’re over-thinking this.”

  “That would be a first for me, wouldn’t it? Actually thinking something through before acting?”

  “You’re too hard on yourself. You always have been. There were expectations on you, but you let them get to you too much. And if you want to be all self-helpy about it, that was what nearly destroyed you three years ago. If you want your comeback, make it on your terms. Otherwise you’ll end up back where you were before you left.”

  She snorted. “When did you get such insights into the human psyche?”

  “It’s not the human psyche. It’s your psyche. Like I said, I was watching you pretty closely at the time.”

  Cait was quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, so he let it spin out until she said with a soft smile, “Maybe I was wrong.”

  “I’ll agree to that in general terms, because I like to be right, but for the sake of this conversation maybe you should be more specific.”

  “When I said that we weren’t friends … In a strange way, I’m beginning to see that we were.”

  “Are,” he corrected. Somehow it seemed very important to make that clear.

  “Friends with benefits?” she challenged.

  “I’ve never lied to you, Cait, and I won’t start now.”

  “I know. And I think that’s probably why you’re so dangerous for me. The honesty can be brutal, but it’s refreshing all the same, and it does make it easier in the long run.” She laughed at her words. “No misunderstandings.”

  He met her eyes. “It’s easier that way.”

  Cait pushed to her knees, and Finn wondered if he’d missed something. But when she crawled over the few feet separating them on the narrow couch and threw a leg over to straddle his lap, he assumed she’d worked it all out in her head. His hands went to her waist automatically, fitting perfectly into the soft indentation below her ribs and splaying down to the waistband of her jeans.

  Her hand cupped his jaw, and the butterfly-light caress of her thumb across his lips sent lightning through his veins. “I still don’t think …”

  The ends of her ponytail brushed across the tips of his fingers, and he wrapped the silky strands around his fist. The light scent of her perfume tickled his nose. “Then don’t think so much. Just take what you want. What you need.”

  He caught her smile as her head dipped to his.

  The craving for her was still there, springing to the fore at the first taste, but it was tempered more than expected. The edge wasn’t as sharp, and something else had filled the gap. Something that was quintessentially Cait. His hands shook slightly as they pulled her closer to him, molding he
r body into his.

  Take what you want. Cait didn’t know what she wanted—other than this, now. Right and wrong were too easily confused when it was Finn leading her down the path. Her skin sizzled to life under his hands, the nerves overly sensitive to his touch. She was fascinated by the play of muscles under tanned skin as he peeled his shirt over his head and removed hers. Those shoulders looked broad enough to support the weight of the world, and once upon a time she’d wanted them to support her. This time, that was exactly what he was offering—however temporarily—and there were no strings attached.

  Finn’s hands worked the snap of her jeans, releasing the zipper and letting his fingers fill the gap between denim and skin, and his mouth left shivers in its wake as it moved down her neck to the sensitive skin over her collarbone. The muscles in her neck felt weak, and her head tipped back to give him greater access. As his tongue moved to the hollow at the base of her throat, she let her hand slide down his chest to his straining zipper.

  She traced the bulge and Finn’s groan reverberated through her. She wanted to move closer, press herself against him … Cursing the narrow couch and the difficulties of jeans, Cait slid off Finn’s lap.

  His eyes were bright as he watched her wiggle both jeans and panties down to step out of them. Arching his hips, he mirrored her movements and his clothes landed on hers on the floor.

  Then he settled back onto the couch and extended a hand to her. Taking it, she let Finn reposition her, her thighs framing his, as she lowered herself inch by inch. His hands splayed across her back, holding her against his heat, and the shudder that started in him ended in her.

  Cait let her forehead rest on his, and his breath cooled the skin of her neck, leaving goose bumps. She held still, just enjoying the moment and the sensation. Then Finn’s hands moved to her hips, and she let the sensations take over completely.

  Right or wrong, this was honest. It was what she needed and what she wanted, and she was happy to take what Finn was willing to give.

  She’d carried a knot in her stomach for so long, the lack of it felt strange. Strange enough that it took her several hours to identify what was different about her today.