Liberated Heart

by Measha Stone

  “Jessica, Kelly, stop it.” Alex got up from the couch.

  “You knew too?” Jessica turned around to glare at him. Erin watched the entire scene before her with mild amusement. Who knew the evening would turn into a really bad episode of Friends?

  “No. I just found out a day or so ago when Bradley told me. Now just calm down. They were doing what they thought best for Erin and for you two. If you had known she was here, you would have charged in and bullied her until she gave you answers she obviously wasn’t ready to give.”

  “How did you end up at the auction?” Kelly turned the tables back on Erin and sank back into her seat, ignoring the glare Kendrick was giving her. Erin knew that look and said a silent thanks for not being on the receiving end of it this time.

  “That’s a long story. Short version? I went to Top Floor to talk to Alex. He was busy or something so Bradley met with me. He told me about the auction. I decided to go.” The short version was easier to explain.

  “When was this?” Alex kept his gaze on Erin as though to deliberately not look at Bradley.

  “A few days before the auction.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me she came by? How did she even know about the club?” Alex did turn his firing eyes at Bradley then.

  “She can tell you how she found out about the club. I didn’t tell you because you were otherwise occupied, and I had the situation under control.” He gave a meaningful glance in Alyssa’s direction.

  Alex turned his gaze back on Erin, looking her over, assessing. “Okay, my dear Erin, we’ll stop bickering. Tell us everything.” The casual grin and softness of his voice put her a bit more at ease. The tension lowered just by Alex leaning back against the couch and wrapping his arms over the back, and hooking his foot over his knee. Jessica shot him a glare but also softened her positioning with Kelly following suit.

  “When Jonathan first left, I was devastated. At least I thought I was. The truth of it was he’d left me months ago; I just hadn’t realized it. All those dinners I missed were because he was out working late, which apparently meant fucking the barista.” Alex grinned at her sudden force and choice of words. “We hadn’t been fighting, but we barely talked. I never even brought up the wedding anymore.”

  “Okay, I hate him, but I can see it’s not the worst thing that could happen.” Kelly nodded. “I’m still going to kick his ass.” Kendrick gave her hair a little yank, and she clamped her mouth shut, but not before muttering bully.

  “I decided to give the auction a try. Apparently you all were just as curious, or more so, at some point. I would take this moment to point out that you all had your own secrets. Alex with the club, Jessica and Kelly both had this dynamic that they hid. So you really can’t be that upset with me.”

  “It’s not that we hid the dynamic, we didn’t think you’d agree with it. You were such a feminist.”

  “I am a feminist. I believe every woman should be exactly who they are without having to change themselves for anyone, man or woman.”

  “Well damn. She has a point,” Kelly muttered. “If I had told you about me and Kendrick, you wouldn’t have given me any problems?”

  “If you had told me, I would have asked a lot of questions. Then I probably would have found this out about myself a lot sooner. Then Jonathan could have left me earlier for being the freak that I am.”

  Bradley placed his hand on her shaking knee and gripped. “You are not a freak.”

  “I know that.” She waved him away. “Those were his words, not mine.”

  “So you live here now?” Jessica asked.

  “No, not really. Just until I sell the house and find a place out here.”

  Alyssa gave a little laugh. Having only met Alyssa once or twice, Erin wasn’t sure what was so funny. “That’s what they say to get you into the house, but once you’re there they won’t let you leave.” She grinned at Alex, who gave her a glare that only made her laugh again.

  “This is entirely different,” Alex argued.

  “It’s only different because it’s Erin,” Alyssa continued. “For you, it’s fine. Kelly finding Kendrick at a sex club, that was fine too, but for Erin to meet Bradley at your own club and to find her living with him only weeks after her fiancé walked out? That’s entirely different. You dote on her, think of her as your kid sister.”

  Erin watched Alyssa through a new lens. She hit the nail directly on the head.

  “Not true.” Alex shook his head. “If she was my kid sister I would have hauled her ass out of Bradley’s house already.”

  “Why?” Erin couldn’t help but ask. What was it about Bradley that concerned him? He had shown nothing but caring and consideration toward her. Did he have some dark secret that she wasn’t aware of?

  “Wait. I still want to know why you didn’t tell us. I mean we’re your closest friends, why didn’t you call us when Jonathan left you?” Jessica held out a hand to still Alex’s interference and kept her stare on Erin.

  The oven buzzer sounded and Erin grinned. “I’ll be right back.” She scooted off to the kitchen before anyone could stop her. Bradley excused himself and followed her, catching the kitchen door as it swung back at him.

  “I can do this all by myself.” She forced a smile.

  “You are avoiding their questions.” He crossed his arms over his chest and gave her the very look she knew would be her undoing. His eyebrows furrowed together, several deep wrinkles covered his brow, and the stark blue eyes that dazzled when he smiled darkened.

  “You know, I would think you’d look less menacing with your head shaved like that, but I think it actually makes it worse.” The heat from the oven blasted her face, and she turned away to recover.

  “What makes you so nervous? You’ve known these people for your entire adult life.”

  “I’m not nervous.” She shrugged and took the chicken out of the oven, sliding the roasting pan onto the counter. “This needs to rest a few minutes then we can slice it.” She checked on the other dishes and smoothed her hands over the apron that covered her skirt. “I think we can move into the dining room and by the time you’re done carving this we’ll be seated and can eat.”

  “You’re changing the subject.” He hadn’t moved.

  “And you’re not cooperating.” She pointed a finger at him. “You promised you’d stay out of it.”

  “Unless you needed help, and if you won’t answer them, if you keep avoiding the issue, then I’ll assume you need help.” He pursed his lips together.

  “Seriously? You’re getting mad?” She wanted to laugh. The stress of the evening was beginning to take its toll.

  “I’m getting annoyed that you are disregarding what I’m telling you. Leave the chicken here and get back out there.” He nodded to the door.

  “Please don’t push this,” she whispered, keeping her eyes on the floor. He wouldn’t understand.

  “Eyes,” he snapped, and she lifted her gaze to his. The darkness began to subside, but his fierceness hadn’t softened. “I will push you whenever I want to, whenever you need it, and you need it. You don’t have to believe me, but you should trust me at this point to do what’s best.”

  “After a week?” Her fingers twisted into the apron, but she managed not to look away. The truth of the matter was that she did trust him, had trusted him from the moment she’d met him. His body, his eyes, everything just told her he’d never hurt her, he’d protect her from everything and all she had to do was be honest and open with him.

  “Don’t you?” He asked her.

  She stared at him silently. “Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t.”

  “Well, there you go. Now, get back out there, and hash all this out so we can eat.” His lips curled into a soft smile that although lightened the tension in the room, did not lessen the firmness of the order.

  “Fine.” She tucked an errant hair back behind her ear and marched past him, shoving the door open and reentering the living room.

  “Everythin
g okay?” Kelly stood from her seat and walked over to her. “You look frazzled. Are you frazzled?”

  Erin pushed Kelly’s hands away when she went to grab her shoulders. “I’m fine.” She rolled her eyes then. “I’m fine. I wasn’t when Jonathan left. I was a mess, but when I sat down and really thought about it, I realized we had been over for a while. I didn’t really miss him that much. I was more worried about what my parents would say when I told them, and what you guys would think when I got around to letting you know.”

  “What we would think? We’d think he’s a fucking asshole and deserves to have his balls cut off,” Kelly all but yelled.

  “Seriously, Erin. Why didn’t you tell us? We were so worried.” Jessica walked over to join them and picked up her hands, holding them gently.

  Erin noticed Bradley enter the room and took a deep breath. “I was embarrassed. I’ve always been the one with a relationship, the steady one. Then all of a sudden you three were off building these wonderful relationships and there I was, being walked out on. I mean he didn’t just not want me—he wanted someone else. He replaced me.” She hadn’t expected tears, but they had built up in her eyes all the same.

  Alex made his way to the small circle and placed a hand on her shoulder. “Jonathan is a fool, but his loss is obviously Bradley’s gain.” He glanced over his shoulder at Alyssa then back at the three women. “Him doing what he did speaks to his character, sweet Erin, not yours.” He gave her shoulder a squeeze. “Now.” He dropped his hand. “About this Bradley character.” He turned to Bradley who had managed to stand away from her. “I’ve known him a long time and although I wouldn’t picture you with him, I can see he really cares about you.”

  “I don’t think she’s asking your permission to date me.” Bradley remarked from behind them.

  “Alex isn’t always right.” Kelly glared over at Bradley.

  “Kelly.” Kendrick’s warning went ignored.

  “I mean she’s been here a week and hasn’t said a word to us. He looks a bit more serious than Erin is used to.”

  “Kelly. I love you, but you don’t have a clue about what I’m used to or what I want.” Erin moved away from her friends and to Bradley’s side. “Now. Dinner’s ready so go sit down and I’ll bring out the food.”

  “We’ll help.” Jessica grabbed Kelly’s arm and headed off to the kitchen before Erin could stop them. She looked to Royce and Kendrick still perched on the loveseat.

  “You hid for weeks. Whatever those two have cooked up for you is your doing.” Royce winked and stood up, pushing his hands into his pockets.

  “Alex.” Erin looked to him for help, and he only shook his head.

  “I’m not getting involved. I think we’ll go to the dining room and just wait out this storm.”

  “I’ll see what I can do.” Alyssa gave her a sympathetic smile as she walked past and into the kitchen.

  Erin was left standing alone in the living room after Bradley gave her a kiss on the cheek and led the guys out of the room. Whatever was waiting in the kitchen wouldn’t be ignored, so she might as well get it over with.

  She should have known the girls wouldn’t let it all drop so damn easily. Jessica wanted details of the breakup and how she met Bradley. Kelly wanted to know if Bradley was as intimidating as he looked, and Alyssa poured the wine.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t go to you guys. It’s just…”

  “Look, whatever it was that kept you away, you need to know that we wouldn’t ever let you hurt alone.”

  “I know that, it’s just, well, I’ve always been the tag along so when…”

  “Wait, what?” Kelly popped a piece of chicken into her mouth. “Tag along? What the fuck does that mean?”

  “I mean you guys took me in.”

  “I swear I’m going to slap you.” Jessica held the serving spoon midair, potatoes dripped into the pan. “You are going to say that you just tagged along during college, and we just haven’t kicked you out yet. Like you’re some lost puppy that we didn’t want to turn away?”

  Erin stared at her for a moment in silence. She’d never told anyone about feeling like that. “I, well…”

  “That’s stupid. Why would she think that?” Kelly shoved her hair behind her ear. The long thick curls wouldn’t stay put though, and several stocks fell right back in her face.

  “Maybe because you guys tend to talk about her like she’s not standing right there.” Alyssa pointed out while putting the bottle of wine back on the counter.

  “Oh.” Kelly turned to Erin. “Do we do that a lot?”

  “Well, sometimes. It’s more that you guys keep things from me. Like when you were having doubts with Kendrick, you didn’t tell me the real problem. You talked in code. I get that now, but I didn’t know what the hell you were talking about then.”

  “We do do that, don’t we?” Jessica grimaced then went back to serving up the potatoes.

  “When did you guys find out about Alex owning the club?” Erin put the carving knife in the sink.

  “We found out only about a month ago, I think.” Kelly plucked another chunk of chicken from the serving platter. “You’d already started being a bit evasive.”

  “You wouldn’t have told me anyway.” Erin picked up the chicken, holding it away from Kelly’s outreached hand.

  “No. Probably not. Not yet anyway.” Jessica admitted. “He didn’t know we knew.” She turned her gaze on Alyssa. “And, Alyssa wouldn’t let us tell him we knew.”

  “No, don’t pin this on me.” Alyssa waved her hands in front of her. “I wasn’t supposed to even tell you two. Things weren’t exactly going all that well with Alex at the time.”

  “I heard you guys had some trouble, but you seemed to have worked it out.” Erin glared at Kelly when she managed to steal another piece of chicken.

  “We did. He groveled beautifully.” Alyssa grinned.

  “I’m sure he does a few other things pretty darn well, too. Less groveling on his end, and more begging on yours.” Kelly gave Alyssa a wink to go with the wide smile she flashed.

  “I swear to god, Kelly.” Erin’s face began to blush.

  “See? Look how easily you embarrass.” Kelly pointed at her. “How can I possibly think you’re okay here with Bradley. He has a reputation.”

  “A reputation for what?”

  “Kelly.” Jessica picked up the potatoes while giving Kelly a warning glare.

  Kelly ignored Jessica. “For being mean, harsh, cruel.”

  “Oh. That.” Relief washed through Erin at her statement, having expected something far worse.

  “And he’s never been with one girl for very long.” Kelly threw out as well.

  “Kelly, Alex said not to say anything.” Alyssa joined Jessica in glaring Kelly’s direction.

  “Alex is your keeper, not mine.” Kelly shrugged.

  “I think Kendrick had also mentioned…”

  “Stop worrying.” Erin cut them off. “Bradley has been nothing but honest with me. We have been honest with each other. This may all end tomorrow, or it may not. We are just taking it a day at a time.”

  “Casual?” Kelly’s brow shot up.

  “No, not really. I don’t know what you’d call it. I mean we aren’t going to see other people, but we aren’t putting expectations on each other either.”

  “Do you think it’s wise? I mean, you just broke up with Jonathan a few weeks ago.” Jessica’s soft voice of reason hung between them as Erin deliberated her answer.

  “Here’s what I know: when Jonathan told me about his affair, that he was leaving, I hurt so badly I wished my chest would just explode and be done with it. But a few days later, it wasn’t him I was missing. Not really. I mean it still hurt, betrayal like that, well, you know. But it wasn’t him. Does that make sense?”

  The three women studied her for a moment before Jessica broke the silence. “Yeah. It does.”

  “Can we please go eat now? Before Kelly eats all the chicken?” She swung her arms toward th
e dining room door, both to get them moving, and to keep the platter out of Kelly’s reach.

  “One last question. I promise.” Kelly put her hand on Erin’s arm to still her. “Is he mean? Cause he looks mean.” Kelly asked again.

  Erin laughed. “Yes, sometimes, but in really good ways.” She gave a wink and headed to the dining room before anyone could respond.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Bradley leaned against the banister watching Erin say her last good-byes to Jessica and Kelly. The evening had taken its toll on her. The muscles in her neck were tight, and her hands fisted and unfisted in her lap most of the evening. He wondered if she knew how much energy she used avoiding confrontation.

  Once the front door closed, and Erin turned to him, he crooked a finger at her. Her smile, that had been wavering in those last moments, perked up, and she took a step toward him. He shook his head and pointed to the floor. “Present.” Her step paused, and she took a deep breath. Hesitation wasn’t what kept her, it was memory. He hadn’t asked her to present since he’d taught her the pose. Memory regained, she sunk to her knees and crawled the short distance to him. Upon reaching him, she sat back on her heels, spread her knees and placed her hands on her thighs. Her eyes found him immediately and already her pupils dilated.

  He ran his fingertips across her forehead, pushing her bangs from her face to let him see her eyes more clearly. Aroused, but also focused. “So, I’m mean am I?” He wrapped her hair around his hand and used it to pull her to her feet.

  She winced but managed to scramble to her feet before he had to pull harder. Once steady, he dragged her to the wall near the stairs and pushed her against it. Still holding her hair in one fist, he placed his other hand over her throat, pinning her to the wall with it. Her eyes widened, she took in a deep breath, and she searched his expression. “I, I didn’t mean it like that.” She knew better than to claw at his hands, but he could see in her expression the inner turmoil to do just that.

  “Yes, you did.” He couldn’t help but grin. “I heard you, you said I was mean in really good ways, isn’t that what you said?” He shook her head a little when she remained silent.