Two Parties, One Tux, and a Very Short Film about The Grapes of Wrath

by Steven Goldman

  “I’m sure he was honored that you included it. I see, Mitchell, that Mr. Sorrelson spoke to your parents already and that they expressed support for your project. I believe that your mother called it ‘damn creative,’ and recommended posting it on the school Web site. I don’t believe Mr. Sorrelson followed up on that suggestion. I hope you appreciate that you have great parents.”

  “They’re, yeah, great.” This is hard to admit, even to an adult.

  “Your mother could be a little kinder toward our baseball umpires, but she has a lot of spirit. I see her often at the games. And I believe your dad was taking care of Mr. Curtis’s mother. We are all appreciative of how wonderful he has been during such a difficult time for one of our best teachers.”

  The man has done his homework.

  Dr. VandeNeer picks up the notes from the Judicial Board meeting. “Let’s see, the other questionable scenes were: a macabre sewing machine incident—well, that should have pleased the Bible-thumpers. Adam as a sinner is hardly revolutionary, although Christianizing Kafka is an interpretive stretch.”

  I’m too proud of his assumption that we were interpreting anything to respond.

  “And, although the sacrifice of Isaac on a pile of required summer reading is a rather unfair commentary on our English curriculum, it hardly qualifies as blasphemy in this context. It was wise of you to avoid any crucifixion scenes—then you’d be up a creek—but frankly I can’t see anything remotely wrong with the cartoon except …”

  He pauses. I hold my breath. Things are going so well that the “except” catches me by surprise.

  “I’d have to disagree with Mr. Curtis’s A–. As far as I can tell, with the exception of a rather contrived dust bowl scene, this cartoon has absolutely nothing to do with The Grapes of Wrath, certainly no more than it would have if you had turned in a sequence of angry grapes doing ballet. But, as policy, the administration does not interfere with grades, and granting you an A– is well within Mr. Curtis’s purview. I am curious, however. Did you actually read the book?”

  At least we can both honestly answer yes.

  Lunch

  “He gave you an A–! I can’t believe that.”

  Rather than being happy that we escaped any serious disciplinary action, David is just pissed that I made a better grade than he did on the assignment.

  “Wallman only gave us a B+ on it.”

  “Maybe Curtis secretly hates Steinbeck too.”

  When we enter the lunchroom, M.C. is sitting alone at our table. She scoots her chair over and I sit beside her. David sits opposite us and unpacks his lunch. M.C. steals his apple, but he doesn’t complain.

  “So what happened?” M.C. asks.

  “Nothing.”

  “Nothing?”

  “He liked it. He thought it was funny. He wants us to make him a copy.”

  M.C. starts to giggle and David actually smiles.

  “So that’s it?” she asks.

  “I guess so.”

  M.C. takes a bite of her apple, shifts it to her left hand, and reaches down to hold my hand. “I tried to call you yesterday,” I tell her. “Your brother said that you were grounded for life.”

  “Originally they grounded me until I turned twenty-one or entered a convent, whichever came first, but they relented after I calmly and rationally explained the difference between being on a bed and in a bed, and I swore to them on a stack of Bibles that all the essential parts of my dress were still intact when we were discovered. That and several hours of crying and begging pretty much did the trick. I think that it helped that I was with you. They think you’re harmless.”

  Maybe. Okay, definitely. Safe, harmless. Just what every seventeen-year-old boy wants to be.

  “I’m still a little bit grounded. I’ve almost convinced them to let me ride home from school with you, assuming I wear a chastity belt and am kept under strict supervision, but I can’t go out for two weeks. I mean, that’s assuming …”

  “Yes, I would.”

  M.C. smiles and lays her head on my shoulder.

  “Are you in any trouble at all?”

  “I don’t think so. I think my parents are just happy that I did something normal for teenage boys.” My mother’s take on the weekend’s escapades had been a little out of character. She seemed elated that I was found in bed with my sister’s best friend. Maybe she’s just relieved it wasn’t Danielle. Carrie isn’t nearly as thrilled. She hasn’t spoken to me at all since she heard. She’ll get over it.

  There’s a short silence. M.C. is thinking. “Were they worried that you were gay?”

  I hadn’t thought about that. I look across at David, who is watching all of this with a look of slight amusement on his face. “I don’t think so. Just pathetic.”

  David smiles. “It’s okay. I already told her. I stopped by her house yesterday.”

  “He brought me flowers,” M.C. says happily.

  “I felt badly about leaving her at the prom.” I had forgotten that I wasn’t the only one who’d been abandoned by a date. Counting Ryan’s date and Nicole, there was a lot of dumping going on. I wonder if that happens a lot at proms. “I assume Danielle brought you flowers too?” Still the same smile.

  “She has spent the whole day hiding from me. I’ll have to talk to her at some point.”

  “No rush,” says M.C.

  I look over at David. I know that there’s more we have to talk about, but maybe today we can just eat lunch.

  “Are you going to eat all of that sandwich?” I ask.

  “Yes,” he answers. And he does.

  ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

  For a project this long in the making, I am bound to forget to thank someone, but there are a few people I have to mention. First of all, the original members of my writing group, Laurie Faria Stolarz, Lara Zeises, and Tea Benduhn, not only gave great feedback but also mentored me through this process. They are also all great writers—check out their books. I have also been blessed with a fabulous agent in Rosemary Stimola and amazing editors—Jill Davis, Michelle Nagler, and Caroline Abbey. A special thank you to Bert Harrill and David Brakke for their friendship. Without the encouragement and support from my friends and family (siblings, parents, babysitting in-laws, e-mailing niece), this novel would still be in boxes on the attic floor, so I need to thank you as well. As for Kat, Lev, and Theo—I can’t even begin to list all of the ways I’m grateful to have such an incredible family and how lucky I feel when I wake up to another day with you, so I’m just going to say I love you and leave it at that.

  Copyright © 2008 by Arthur Steven Goldman

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner

  whatsoever without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief

  quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

  Quotes on pages 36–39 from The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck published by

  Penguin Great Books of the 20th Century

  Quote on page 135 from Ghostbusters II

  First published in the United States of America in August 2009

  by Bloomsbury Books for Young Readers

  E-book edition published in August 2010

  www.bloomsburykids.com

  For information about permission to reproduce selections from this book, write to

  Permissions, Bloomsbury BFYR, 175 Fifth Avenue, New York, New York 10010

  The Library of Congress has cataloged the hardcover edition as follows:

  Goldman, Steven.

  Two parties, one tux, and a very short film about the Grapes of Wrath/

  by Steven Goldman.—1st U.S. ed.

  p. cm.

  Summary: Mitch, a shy and awkward high school junior, negotiates the difficult social situations he encounters, both with girls and with his best friend David, after David

  reveals to him that he is gay.

  ISBN-13: 978-1-59990-271-5 • ISBN-10: 1-59990-271-0 (hardcover)

  [1. Friendship—
Fiction. 2. Interpersonal relations—Fiction. 3. Dating (Social customs)—Fiction. 4. Homosexuality—Fiction. 5. High schools—Fiction. 6. Schools—Fiction.] I. Title.

  PZ7.G56924Tw2008 [Fic]—dc22 2008011587

  ISBN 978-1-59990-817-5 (e-book)