Love Potion #9

by Claire Delacroix

  Lilith could certainly see the same tendencies in Nate’s son.

  “And I liked him very much.” Andrea licked her lips and studied her glass. “I have to admit that there were times when I wished I had met Nate sooner, but then, neither of us would have been the people we were at that ball on that night.” She shrugged. “And maybe then, there would have been no spark. I don’t know.”

  Andrea took a deep breath. “I do know that I loved Nate right through to the bone, that we could talk and talk about nothing or about everything. I loved how we had champagne in bed just because it was Tuesday, how we made love anywhere we felt like it.” She grinned in recollection and Lilith smiled with her.

  “I loved how he brought flowers and never really stopped courting me. You see,” Andrea smiled sadly, “I had learned how fleeting the good moments can be, too. We took every single moment we had and made them count, we lived those five years with an intensity that most people don’t match in the sum of their whole lives.”

  “It sounds wonderful.”

  Andrea sobered, her gaze on the children. “It was.”

  Then she swallowed a gulp of lemonade and Lilith let Andrea take a minute to compose herself.

  “I’m telling you this, Lilith, so you understand the world Mitch was raised in. He knew nothing but love and harmony as a child, of giving and laughing, of perfect partnership and love everlasting. Nate and Eliza were smitten on sight, as the story went, and were together virtually from that moment on. They were happy. Mitch grew up believing that was how all marriages were - he never knew any different. He never realized that he was used to a Rolls Royce until he found himself in a much more basic model.”

  “With Janice?”

  “With Janice.” Andrea looked as grim as Mitch could. “I have no doubt that Mitch swept her off her feet, that she felt like she was the center of the universe. Mitch is a great deal like his father and he had learned so much of love and giving in that household. The difference was that Janice only took and Mitch only gave.”

  “Over time, that kind of deficit gets difficult to manage. It’s like buying everything on credit cards and never paying the balance, just the minimum payment. The debt mounts and mounts, until your whole life collapses around you like a house of cards.”

  Andrea looked Lilith in the eye. “Love shouldn’t be that way and neither should marriage.”

  She sipped her lemonade. “I find hard to believe that Nate never saw the truth, but maybe he just didn’t want to notice it. Or maybe he didn’t want to comment on it. He was a tremendously loyal man - it would be like him to believe that since marriage was forever, that time would put the balance back in Mitch’s marriage.”

  Andrea frowned. “But I never believed it and I never liked that Janice. You could see the hunger in her eyes - she’d gobble up the whole world for herself given half a chance. And by the time I came along, she was getting miserable. The Queen of the May did not have the exclusive attention of her courtier and she didn’t like it one bit. But she wasn’t overt about it - maybe only another woman would see the signs. And Mitch, of course - she made sure he never missed it.”

  Now Lilith was intrigued. “What do you mean?”

  “I remember a dinner party thrown for an old friend of Mitch’s - a friend who just happened to be a woman. Charming girl, you could see at a glance that she and Mitch would never be more than friends. She was going to Europe for some plum job, destined to be gone for a decade. Her parents were great friends of Nate’s, but had moved to a condo and didn’t have the space, so we hosted a black-tie farewell party.”

  “Well! Janice came in a dress that nearly spilled her breasts onto the table. They were fine enough breasts, though we all really didn’t want to see them. But she couldn’t risk sharing Mitch’s attention, even for an hour. And that wasn’t the worst of it.

  “Janice was so jealous that Mitch might pay attention to something other than herself, that she never left him alone that night. She ran her hands all over him, she pinched his butt when we went in to dinner, she was hanging on him every minute. It was terribly embarrassing. I spread a rumor that she was drunk.” Andrea shrugged. “What else was I going to do? People were noticing.”

  “I sat them opposite each other at dinner, to deliberately give Mitch a bit of breathing room, and his friend by his side so they would some chance to talk. Yet during the meal I couldn’t help but notice that Mitch was looking particularly uncomfortable. He was very quiet and he had that beleaguered look.”

  Lilith smiled. “I know that one.”

  Andrea nodded sagely. “So, I went to check on dessert - completely unnecessarily, of course, we had excellent staff - and just happened to walk down that side of the table.” She straightened indignantly. “Janice had her toes in Mitch’s lap! I could see his napkin moving, as no doubt did everyone else on that side of the table. I could have smacked her silly! And do you know what happened later?”

  Lilith shook her head.

  “They stayed the night. Of course, we had plenty of room, and gave them the spare room with ensuite. I thought they were going to need some privacy, after that performance! I thought I heard arguing, but then remembered what it was like being young and hot to trot.” Andrea smiled. “I shut the door to our suite and didn’t pay much attention.” Her smile faded. “But in the morning, Mitch was asleep in his father’s study, still in his tux.”

  Andrea looked Lilith in the eye. “She didn’t want him. She was only teasing him to keep him from giving his attention to somebody else. That’s just how she was. Mitch never knew I saw him there, for he took pains to slip back upstairs and emerge as though he had been in that bedroom all night.” Andrea grimaced. “Loyal to the end. Janice might have been pulling his chain, but he wasn’t going to give anyone any reason to malign her.” She took a swig of lemonade. “I never told Nate.”

  “Why not? Maybe he would have talked to Mitch.”

  Andrea shook her head. “If you think Mitch is reticent about emotional matters, you should have seen Nate. And Nate was a consummate family man, too. Divorce really wasn’t in his personal vocabulary, even though he was a lawyer. It would have broken his heart to know what was going on there - and even I only had a glimpse of it.”

  She stared into her glass and smiled slightly. “But you have to wonder if there is some kind of divine plan. You see, Nate died while Janice was pregnant with Jason. He was very pleased about the pregnancy, with the prospect of a grandchild. And Mitch was relieved and excited, too. People have this great faith that the presence of children alone can mend gaping rifts in relationships, but it just isn’t so.” Andrea sipped. “If things are bad, the arrival of a bundle of joy makes things worse.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “It’s not easy having little ones underfoot. They’re demanding, they don’t sleep for nice eight hour stretches, they can’t do anything for themselves. They’re a lot of work, particularly at the beginning, and when couples get frazzled and tired, even the most healthy relationship will show strains.”

  Andrea sighed. “I’m glad that Nate missed all of that, I wish Mitch could have. Even the last trimester after Nate died was rotten business. It would have broken Nate’s heart to hear Janice’s tirades about how fat she was getting, never mind her refusal to eat properly for the sake of the baby. She nearly made Mitch crazy, but then, she had his undivided attention that way, which was probably the only thing she wanted.”

  “That’s hardly fair to the baby,” Lilith said softly, thinking of how Mitch would have worried.

  “No, it’s not. I fret myself silly. Yet someone somewhere blessed them with a perfect little boy, despite all the foolish things Janice had done during those nine months. She was very lucky, but she didn’t see it that way. Not at all. When I visited at the hospital, I watched Janice.” Andrea swallowed. “I saw her malice when Mitch showed us his son, there’s nothing else you could call it. Mitch was so delighted, so tickled with this little boy - and fairly so!
- that he never saw Janice’s expression when she realized she was always going to have to share. I was very afraid that there was going to be trouble.”

  “Was she cruel to Jason?”

  “No.” Andrea frowned. “Surprisingly not.” She smiled. “For some reason, Janice was an exemplary mother, if rather an unaffectionate one - maybe that was her tack to get Mitch’s approval for those couple of years. I don’t know, but everything really did seem to settle down. When she got pregnant again and they said it would be a girl, she seemed pleased. I thought she might bond better with a girl, so when Jen was born, I took Jason for a few weeks.”

  Andrea smiled. “I think every pot in my kitchen had a spin around the floor, he worked every clasp on every purse and figured out every baby-proof device in the place. Tupperware fascinated him - I can still hear his chortles when he managed to make it close with a burp. We were having quite a lot of fun, Jason and I, until Janice pulled her stunt.”

  Andrea’s lips drew to a thin line. “Clearly, things were much worse than I had ever imagined.”

  She cleared her throat. “You see, Janice was a taker of the first order. She never understood the golden rule, that everything you give comes back to you a hundredfold. The great irony of all of this is that if she had given just a tiny bit to Mitch, she would have been showered with more love and attention than even she could have handled.”

  Andrea met Lilith’s gaze. “She truly would have been the center of his universe for all time, because if nothing else, Nate taught Mitch how a man should love his wife. But Janice only saw what was in it for her, and she missed the greatest prize of all.”

  Andrea shook her head abruptly. “I’m still angry with her,” she confessed. “I’m still angry that she hurt Mitch so badly, that she left him believing that it was his fault. I’m not proud of that, but it’s unfair that Mitch blames himself for her selfishness. It’s unfair that he gives and gives to his kids, but doesn’t dare to expect anything for himself. Janice taught Mitch that - and it’s a lot less than he deserves. She’s still got him all trussed up and oh! It makes me furious!”

  Andrea reached out suddenly and squeezed Lilith’s hand. She took a deep breath and obviously tried to blink away the sheen of tears in her eyes. “But you’re undoing the lesson, Lilith, as I never imagined anyone could.” She bit her lip. “Don’t stop. Don’t give up on him.”

  “I won’t,” Lilith pledged, surprised when Andrea gave her a big hug.

  “I know,” Andrea whispered. “That’s what I like about you. You’re almost as stubborn as I am. You’re going to fit right in to this family and don’t let anyone tell you different.”

  Lilith grinned and hugged Andrea back, wiping away a tear of her own. She looked up to find Mitch lingering at the gate, his gaze warm. He smiled at her and Lilith smiled back.

  “Okay?” he mouthed and she nodded.

  Mitch slammed the gate as though he was just arriving and the kids raced to meet him. Andrea straightened and wiped away the last of her tears, summoning a quick smile.

  “Is there a nice cool swimming pool back here?” Mitch demanded. “I need a swim.”

  “Me, too!” Kurt declared, following Mitch into the yard.

  “Here, Daddy, here!” Jen cried, running to catch at Mitch’s hand when he made a great show of not being able to find the pool. He collapsed into it finally, almost overwhelming it. Jen jumped on top of him, Cooley barked, Jason got the hose and turned it on Kurt. The yard soon became grounds for a big boisterous water fight that left them all soaked.

  Mitch shook out his hair the way Cooley did and grinned up at Lilith. “I had this idea,” he said to no one in particular, his gaze fixed upon hers. “How about we take Nana to the airport tomorrow, then go to the zoo?” This idea was greeted with great approval, but Mitch was watching Lilith closely. “Join us?” he asked, the tentative edge to his words making her smile.

  “I’d love to,” Lilith replied warmly. Andrea hummed approval but Lilith was much more interested in Mitch’s flashing grin.

  “Good!” he said, leaving no doubt of his feelings about the matter and Lilith felt her heart begin to pound.

  “Lillit!” A bedraggled Jen tugged on Lilith’s skirt. “Can we take Dartaggin? He can visit the big kitties.”

  Jen looked so hopeful that Lilith didn’t immediately have a good answer for that. “I don’t think so, Jen.”

  “Why not?”

  Andrea started to chuckle. “Get used to that one,” she murmured, then ducked into the kitchen. Mitch winked, then insisted on seeing the state of Jason’s garden, the two of them soon talking about all manner of bugs and crawly things. Kurt waved and departed for some big date.

  “Why not, Lillit?” Jen demanded again and Lilith knew she was going to think of something but quick.

  Talk about trial by fire.

  * * *

  When Lilith went home that evening, the next card had turned itself over.

  She picked up The Hanged Man and studied the card. Pictured was a man, hung upside down. A rope bound his one ankle to the bough of a tree, a noose on the wrong end of the man, like the Norse god Odin swinging from the world tree for nine days and nights in search of illumination.

  Number twelve in the higher arcana, The Hanged Man was a clear reference to Sebastian’s untimely demise. It was also Mitch Davison after Janice got through with him.

  On a third level, it could be Mitch today. Lilith sank into a chair and thought about it. The Hanged Man has the courage to challenge what he knows is true, to put aside the pain of his own experience, and to trust that taking a chance will win him results. The Hanged Man trusts in what he cannot see, what he does not really know to be true but believes is true. The Hanged Man sacrifices what he holds dear, counting on forces he can’t explain to take him to a new plateau of understanding.

  Lilith fingered the card. Clearly, Janice had shaken Mitch’s faith in love and given him a radically different experience of marriage than the one he had expected. And just as clearly, Mitch was slowly putting the “lessons” Janice had taught him aside. Lilith could feel him letting down his guard, trusting her, showing her more and more of who he was. The way his gaze clung to hers, the way he worked to make her smile were the mark of a man preparing to come courting.

  Lilith smiled with the realization that Mitch was taking a chance on love, despite what he had experienced before, no doubt in the hope that he and Lilith would find a magickal love well worth that risk. He had to be facing one of his great fears - for Lilith knew how tender broken hearts could be - but Mitch faced the challenge squarely. She had to admire his steady progress and his determination.

  But then, they were destined to be together, after all.

  Lilith put down the card thoughtfully. She considered that Mitch had something to teach her. Her own refusal to visit this elderly Rom woman looked childish in comparison to his resolve.

  Because Lilith wasn’t taking any chances. Lilith believed in a lot of things that couldn’t be seen, but she hadn’t been prepared to risk anything beyond that.

  She was acting like a coward. The realization did not sit well.

  But as Lilith sat there and considered that, Mitch’s conviction in the merit of taking a chance fueled her own. She felt his faith well up inside her and heard again the echo of conviction in his suggestion that this grandmother might need Lilith as much as Lilith needed her.

  He might be right.

  He might be wrong, but there was only one way to find the truth. And there was only one way to prove that she wasn’t a coward. Lilith was still afraid of what might happen, but she had to face her fear.

  Lilith knew then that she would go the hospital.

  * * *

  Mitch was a very happy camper. They’d had a great time at the zoo, just like a family. The kids were so comfortable with Lilith that he knew he had nothing to worry about on that score, and she was so clear-thinking and sensible that he knew she’d take exemplary care of them.


  Of course, he’d still worry, but he’d worry less.

  On Tuesday, the hardware store called to say that Lilith’s new storm door was in. Mitch picked it up on the way home and installed it that evening, keeping one eye on the kids as they played. He could hear Lilith reading fortunes in the front of her house and shamelessly eavesdropped.

  Lilith’s advice, without fail, was positive, caring and compassionate. Even if she had some strange preconceptions, it was clear that there was no maliciousness or opportunism in Lilith Romano.

  For once, Mitch Davison was very glad to keep finding reassurance that he had been wrong.

  * * *

  On the following Thursday afternoon when all her appointments and obligations were resolved, Lilith took a deep breath and dressed carefully. She walked down to the subway, a scrawled slip of paper in her hand. It was high time she shake hands with her destiny and confront the legacy in her veins.

  Even if the prospect made something tremble in her belly.

  The hospital was bustling with activity, the emergency ward filled to the brim. Lilith worked her way through the throng to the main reception and discovered, to her mingled relief and trepidation, that she hadn’t come too late.

  The smell of death, or more accurately the sense of its presence, grew stronger in the elevator, and stronger again when Lilith walked down the long pale corridor. Nurses brushed past her with efficient smiles, but as she drew near the end of the hall - and closer to the room number she had been given - the activity slowed noticeably.

  And the tang in the air grew stronger. Lilith realized that no one else could sense it, no one without her Gift, but to her, it was as unmistakable as the sting of freshly cut onions.