by Kelly Myers
I lift my head. It’s time for me to face the music. I can’t put off going to see Nick.
I stand up and start walking to the gallows.
Maybe it’s a good thing I’m about to get fired. Then I can date Michael.
Unless he gets fired too. In that case, we’ll both be bitter and unemployed. He’ll probably blame me, and I’ll blame him.
I tell myself that I can find another job. I’m extremely qualified and experienced. Nick might not provide a good reference. My lip starts to quiver as I get closer and closer to my boss’ door, but I keep my head held high.
I cast my longing eyes around the office. I’m going to miss it. I’ll miss the competition. The thrill of a fresh new assignment. The challenge of redoing an entire game plan because the client changed their mind about something. I’ll even miss my snarky co-workers. I’ll miss the feeling of power I get when I put on my best pant suit. I’ll miss the sound of my heels clicking across the lobby every morning.
I don’t hesitate outside Nick’s door. I knock and enter when he tells me. Might as well get it over with.
Nick is beaming up at me from his desk. I try to smile back, but I’m too confused. It’s possible he’s just that thrilled to fire me.
“Zoe, sit down!” Nick gestures at the chair.
I sit and fold my hands in my lap.
Nick leans forward and gives me a wink. “I’m sure you know what this is about.”
“I’m not certain.” My voice comes out quivering. I swallow and tell myself to remain composed.
“Oh, don’t play coy,” Nick says. “I know you’ve been chasing this for months.”
Now I’m officially lost. This isn’t about Michael, unless Nick thinks I’ve been chasing Michael for ages which is untrue. It’s just been a few weeks.
Also, Nick could not possibly be this gleeful about our affair. He’s practically giggling.
“You’ll need to clarify it for me.” I try to smile at him since he clearly expects some sort of reaction.
“Clint’s moving at the end of the quarter.” Nick raises his eyebrows as he sees comprehension dawn on my face. Clint is in upper management. “There’ll be an opening.”
I suck in my breath in excitement. I had heard the rumours about Clint leaving, but nothing had been confirmed. Nick is looking at me with a gleam in his eye. I lean forward and keep my tone solid but not too desperate. “Of course I’m interested.”
“It’s yours,” Nick says.
The air leaves my lungs. For once, I lose all composure. “Wh-what?”
Nick waves his hand. “You’ll have to do an official interview with the higher-ups, but I’m not worried about you, you’ll nail it. I’m putting your name in, so it’s as good as yours.”
This can’t be happening. This must be a daydream. It doesn’t make sense. If Nick says it’s as good as mine, does that mean he’s only supporting me? It’s not between me and Michael?
“I’m honored,” I say.
“Spare me the humility act.” Nick leans back and shakes his head. “You know you deserve this, especially after your work with Hastings and Blunt.”
“Thank you.” I don’t have the mental capacity to say anything else, I’m so stunned.
I’m desperate to ask about Michael, but I know it will seem strange.
“I’ll be honest, Hamilton, I wasn’t sure you’d last,” Nick says. I try not to smirk. Nick makes no secret that every woman who comes to work for him is a bundle of nerves and tears. “But I suppose I’m wrong every once and a while.”
It’s about the nicest compliment I can expect from Nick, so I stand up and smile.
As I turn to go, Nick stands up. “You might want to thank Michael – his leaving definitely made the choice easy.”
“Sorry, what?” I don’t bother to hide my shock. What does he mean by Michael leaving?
“Well, you still might have got the offer.” Nick shrugs. “But him taking that Meyers and Blunt job saved me from having to make a tough decision. Plus he put in a good word for you.”
Nick winks at me one more time. I’m so stunned by the bombshell he just dropped, I can’t even bother to interpret what he means by the sly wink.
“Right,” I say. “Of course.”
I grab the door and duck out of the office before I’m tempted to grab Nick by the collar and demand more details.
It’s not uncommon for clients to offer jobs to consultants that they like, especially if the consultant makes it clear he’s interested. I cast my mind back to our meetings with Meyers and Blunt. I never showed any interest in a job offer, but I remember Michael asking questions to the employees. He was always open to what they had to say about working there.
And that first dinner in New York, hadn’t he said something about not wanting to be a consultant forever?
I rush back to my office and lean against the closed door.
Why wouldn’t he have said anything? All those times I was yammering on about how we couldn’t date because we were co-workers, he could have mentioned this.
He probably didn’t know, at least not for sure. They must have offered him the job recently.
It also might not even be about me. In fact, it’s probably not at all about me.
I gasp as I realize he might be leaving Chicago. What if the job is in New York?
He probably took the job because he never wants to see me again.
I tell myself to calm down. There are too many things I don’t know. I need to find him. And I still need to tell him how I feel.
Then I pause because I start to wonder if I really should tell him? Is it really fair to saddle him with all my feelings if he’s moving?
I can’t abandon the plan though. I didn’t make a back-up plan. I know what my friends would say. I have to go through with it.
I exit my office and make a beeline for his. When I get there, the door is open, and his computer is unplugged. The desk is empty.
He must have resigned over the weekend. He must be starting his new job soon.
What if he’s already in New York?
I turn on my heel and head back to my office. Once I’m back at my desk, I don’t even hesitate. I start searching through my email. Months ago, we all got sent an email with everyone’s contact information. Including addresses.
Michael lives in River North. Nearby. I write down the address on a post-it.
Before I can second guess myself, I grab my coat and purse.
And for the first time in six years, I leave work in the middle of the day.
28
By the time I reach Michael’s apartment building, I’m beginning to doubt my actions. It starts to dawn on me that just showing up at someone’s residency is extremely crazy. Some might stay stalkerish.
Then again, I need to know why he did it. Why did he take this job offer? Is he moving?
He needs to know where I stand as well. He needs to know that I want him, and I’ll do anything to keep him.
I haven’t texted or called any of my friends to update them. I’m scared that if I tell them I’m outside Michael’s apartment building and preparing to ring his doorbell, they’ll demand I stop.
I don’t want to stop. I want to finish what I started.
He’s in Apt 510. I stare at the buzzer for a few minutes while snow drifts down into my hair, but I can’t make myself reach up and hit it.
He’ll ask who it is through the intercom, and I’ll have to say it’s me. I can’t exactly masquerade as the UPS guy. When he knows it’s me, he might not let me up.
Then a resident appears. They open the door and without hesitating I follow them inside and head towards the elevator.
I tiptoe along the fifth floor, reading the numbers.
When I reach 510, I don’t let myself hesitate like I did downstairs. I just knock.
There’s silence for a second, and I begin to panic that he’s already gone. He moved to New York over the weekend, and I’ll never see him again. He will never know
that I care because I’m sure as hell not making any grand declaration over a video call.
Then I hear footsteps, heavy and solid, making for the door.
I consider running. I really do. But before I can take off, the door swings open, and there he is.
Michael’s eyes blink in shock to see me. He’s wearing a T-shirt and jeans. I’ve only ever seen him dressed for work or for the 3k.
I peer over his shoulder and sigh in relief when I see there are no boxes. He’s not moving. Yet.
“Zoe.” Michael speaks like he’s choking on my name. I’ve definitely surprised him.
I open and close my mouth a few times.
“Why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?” I blurt out the question, and my tone sounds way more accusatory than I mean it to.
“I didn’t know for sure.” Michael shoves his hands in his pocket. “It happened fast.”
I nod and stare at his feet. This is not going well.
“Was there anything else you wanted to ask me?” Michael’s mouth twists into a teasing smile. “Since you came all this way.”
I lift my chin and meet his gaze. “May I come in?”
Without a word, he steps aside, and I walk into his apartment. It’s neat and modern. He doesn’t have a lot of furniture, but what he does have is nice.
“Do you want to sit?” Michael gestures towards the grey couch.
“No.” I clasp my gloved hands in front of my stomach. I’m way too riled up with emotion to sit.
I spent all weekend and morning preparing for this, and now I’m frozen. I take a breath and get ready to speak, but Michael cuts me off.
“I did it for you,” he says. “I was interested in the job to begin with, but after everything you said, I was determined. I had to get the offer.”
My brain stops working. I open and close my mouth a few times. I want to laugh, and I want to cry, but most of all I want to tell him how much I love him.
“You shouldn’t have done that.” The words are out of my mouth before I can control myself. “I’m not – I can’t be worth it.”
Michael’s face crumbles. “You are. If I hadn’t have gotten this offer, I would have found something else. I would have done it just for the chance to be with you.”
He looks down at the floor, and I can tell he thinks it’s over. I may have thought we had a 50-50 shot, but he probably predicted even lower odds. And he still took that offer.
“I love you.” Finally the right words come flying out of my mouth. “I know I’ve been crazy, but I’ve just been scared, like you said, but I’m not scared anymore, and today I was going to tell you that I was willing to wait. However long it took until we could be together, I was ready to wait.”
Michael’s face jerks up, and his awestruck expression almost makes me cry.
“But now we don’t have to wait,” I say. “Because of you.”
“No,” Michael says.
Then his arms are around me, and he’s kissing my stunned face. I grab his shoulders and just bury my face in his neck as he lifts me up. We just hold each other for a second. Every other time we’ve embraced, it’s been rushed and franic. Our touches were saturated with desperation. Not anymore. Now, at last, we know we have the time.
I pull away quickly. “But you’re not moving to New York, right?”
“No.” Michael smiles. “They’re opening an office in Chicago.”
I grin from ear to ear, and Michael just looks down into my face for a second before kissing me, slow and deep.
Then he pulls away, leaving me gasping for air.
“Wait, did you just leave work in the middle of the day?” He looks worried, like maybe I’ve suffered a personality-altering brain aneurysm.
I laugh and nod.
“I had this whole speech to give you,” I say. “But before I could find you, Nick called me to the office and told me I was getting promoted because you had left.”
“So you are getting that promotion!” Michael’s excitement reminds me about the good news. I barely had time to process it, I was so stressed about his departure.
“Yes,” I say. “I guess I am. I have to interview though.”
“You’ll nail that.” Michael lifts me up and spins me in a circle. “We’re celebrating tonight. A steak dinner. Maybe some champagne.”
“Our first date.” It sounds so perfect, I can barely breathe.
“I think our first date was in New York,” Michael says.
“No way, that was not a real date.”
“It felt like one.” He starts to kiss my neck in the ticklish spot on the side so I can’t argue anymore.
Before I know it, my coat is on the floor, and Michael is carrying me towards the couch. He sits down and pulls me onto his lap. I kick my shoes off and grip his face in my hand so I can kiss him.
When he starts to tug at my blouse, I put up the tiniest fight. “I should get back to the office.”
“I think you have a little bit of time,” Michael says.
“Maybe a little.” I gasp as he slides his fingers across the bare skin of my stomach and up towards my breasts.
I move my fingers towards his T-shirt and start to tug. I’m infused with a new possessiveness. He’s mine now, all mine. I don’t have to give him up after this.
Michael must be feeling it too because his hands roam all over me, from my breasts down to my thighs. He hikes up my skirt and gropes my bottom. I squirm until my blouse is off while he tugs at my panties.
Then I straddle him and run my fingers over his bare chest. He shivers at my touch, and we lock eyes.
“This is real, right?” I whisper.
“Yes.” Michael pulls me closer and kisses me, and I feel all my own passion and longing reflected in him.
I press myself against him and grip his solid shoulders. I can feel his erection pressing into my thigh, and all of a sudden, I can’t wait any longer. Later, we will have the time to go slow. We will have all the time in the world to savor each other, but right now, I have to have him right away.
As if he can read my mind, he slides his fingers over my sopping wet folds.
“Oh, Zoe,” he groans.
“I want you,” I say. “I want you now.”
I shift so I can access his pants, and I grapple with tugging his jeans down until he’s exposed, long and hard.
Without hesitating, I lift my hips and sink onto his length, savoring the smooth firmness as it slides into me.
I gasp as he fills me. For a second, I just look at him. I stare into his eyes as we are melded together, the intensity of his gaze sending tingles up and down my spine.
I begin to move, and his body spasms in response. He digs his fingers into my hips and guides me. I find a rhythm that strokes a spot deep inside me.
I cry out as I ride him faster, and I feel pleasure building deep in my core. All the adrenaline and anxiety of the day, all the emotion and feeling – it all seems to congregate inside me until I’m nearly screaming for my release.
Michael is crying out with me as our lovemaking grows in fervor.
I keep my eyes locked in his as I fall into my orgrasm. Wave after wave of sweet release pulses through me. His orgasm racks his body soon after, and our cries intermingle.
As my climax comes to a shuddering end, I fall against him. He wraps his arms around my back, and I rest my cheek on his chest.
We stay like that for a while, warm and satisfied.
At last I roll off him. I perch on my knees and kiss him once more.
“I have to go back,” I murmur.
He grips my hand. “You’ll meet me right after?”
“Yes.”
We start to dress. Michael flashes me a grin as he tugs his shirt on over his head.
“This is a refreshing change,” he says. “You're not running away the second we’re done.”
I scoff. “I was only trying to protect myself.”
His face turns serious as he grabs me by the waist and tugs me close to him.
“You don’t need to worry anymore. I’m not going to let you go.”
I melt against him as he tucks a lock of my hair behind my ear. I believe him. For once, I have faith in a relationship. I know Michael will challenge me, and I know it will be terrifying to feel so strongly for someone, but I also know he wants me. He desires every inch of me, and he doesn’t want to cut certain facets of my personality out.
Michael kisses me once more.
“I love you,” he says.
I can’t even speak, I’m so happy. I just bury my face in his chest and hold him.
I know I’ll see him again in a matter of hours, but I want to appreciate him. Now that we’re finally together, I want him to know how hard it was for me to stay away.
Once I’m dressed and wrapped in my coat, Michael walks me down to the door.
Before I head out, I turn to face him.
“I want you to know that I’m all in,” I say. “I don’t want some fling or something temporary, I want everything with you, and maybe it’s too soon, but that’s where I stand.”
Michael squeezes my hand. “I look forward to always knowing where you stand.”
I grin. Something tells me that Michael is not going to complain about my knack for over-planning. He might tease me every now and then, but I know that he appreciates my skills.
“And I’m all in as well,” Michael says.
I give him one last kiss and head out.
It’s still snowing, but now it no longer feels like a bad omen. It feels like magic.
Epilogue
I glance at my watch as Lydia finishes up her presentation. She’s one of the consultants I manage, and over the last six months, she’s basically become my protegé.
She’s smart, ambitious, extremely competent and totally professional. She’s basically a younger version of myself.
I frown. Maybe I should tell her to not back away from risks or fear emotions. I certainly could have used that advice.
No. Better not. I’m her boss, not her matchmaker. Being with Michael has clearly made me soft.
“Any plans for the weekend?” I ask Lydia.
“Just hanging out with some friends,” she says.