Homegoing

by Janae Keyes

  She reached into a drawer and pulled out a clean dish towel. She wet the towel and grabbed one of the mushrooms. I watched her as she wiped the entire mushroom down and set it to the side.

  “Ms. Know-It-All,” I said playfully before planting a kiss on her cheek.

  “Always,” she jabbed as she started another mushroom.

  I took my cue and as she washed them, I sliced them and placed them in a bowl. We worked together in perfect harmony. I stopped to find her eyes on me. A smile was placed on Bethany’s lips.

  “Look at you. You’re slicing those mushrooms like a pro. I remember that time we tried to cook for my dad. Total disaster,” she reminisced before she threw her head back in laughter.

  “We set the smoke alarm off so many time and in the end your dad just ordered pizza,” I said remembering a time when things were so much simpler.

  “We were just kids though. Look at us now. We’ve grown up and have made something with our lives. Best of all, we can cook now.” Bethany leaned onto my shoulder and I kissed her forehead.

  “You sure you want to leave all these memories behind?” I asked her, and she froze, I could feel it before her head came off me and she peered into my eyes. I saw the hurt behind them.

  “Please, don’t,” she whispered. I opened my mouth but she shushed me. “Liam, I don’t need to feel guiltier than I already do. I’ve already told you. I’m leaving, and you know that. I don’t want that hanging over my head right now. I’m only barely holding it together.”

  “Okay,” I answered in a low voice as I pulled her to me and planted a kiss on the top of her head. For now, we’d enjoy our evening. It was the least I could do.

  “That was really good. Great job, Mr. Chef,” Bethany mentioned with a moan as she placed her fork on her place.

  We ate in mostly silence. There were so many brewing questions and anxieties, but I left them alone for now as Bethany didn’t want to talk about her decision to leave. I watched her from the other side of the table. She finished chewing and gave me a soft smile.

  “I’ll have plenty of leftovers for Renni tomorrow. That girl will eat anything. She loves to find recipes and have me make them with her. I got her this collection of kid’s cookbooks and every weekend we try to make something. It’s mostly desserts though,” I explained as I smiled to myself. It was the highlight of every weekend I had her at my house. The kitchen was always left a mess, but the time I had with my daughter made it worth it.

  Bethany grinned at me.

  “I’m proud of you. You make such a great dad,” she hummed.

  “I hope the courts see it that way. I filed for sole custody this morning. I’m nervous about what the decision will be in the end, but with the evidence I provided, it should go in my favor. I at least hope so,” I told her before taking a sip of my beer.

  “Liam, that’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. After seeing Kayleigh and experiencing the madness she is and everything, I know your daughter belongs with you one hundred percent. There is no doubt there,” she said seriously as she reached across the table and grabbed my hand.

  “Dad thinks if I get custody, I should move out of here. He thinks it would be best for Renni,” I said with a sigh as I thought about my dad’s words earlier in the day.

  Bethany squeezed my hand tightly. “I agree with your dad. You need to get out of here. It’s just going to drag you down.”

  “But the bar,” I started.

  “Fuck that bar. Your daughter deserves better and you know it.” Bethany’s eyes were filled with serious tension.

  “Well, about the bar.” I took my hand from her hold and stood from my chair.

  Bethany’s blue eyes were on me as I crossed the room and picked up an envelope from my coffee table. I returned to the dinner table and handed the envelope over to Bethany who took it in her hands.

  “What’s this?” she asked right away.

  “Open it.”

  She didn’t ask any more questions but opened the envelope and pulled out the check inside. Her eyes scanned over the writing before she gasped and peered up at me. She opened her mouth, but no words escaped as she sat in complete shock.

  “That’s enough money to buy me out of the bar,” she commented as she ran the tips of her fingers over the check total. “But, but how? How did you get this much money?”

  “I sold my car,” I admitted aloud. I tried to not think about it all day. Handing over the keys and accepting the check early this morning had been a life changing event. I was letting go of something I loved for someone I loved. “It will buy you out and pay off a little bit of your dad’s debt.”

  “No, Liam. No.” She stood from her seat and shoved the check square in the middle of my chest. “You can’t just sell your fucking car. I’m not letting you do that. You can’t do that. That car means so much to you.”

  “And you don’t?” I questioned. “You mean more to me than some old car. If I have to buy you out of the bar and help pay off debt so you can go back to L.A. and live your happy life. It’s worth it. Plus, it’s already done. The car is gone and sold. Just accept it, Bethany.”

  I held out the check to her. I saw the bewildered look in her beautiful eyes. She couldn’t believe I’d done that for her. It was the most selfless thing I’d ever done.

  In a single stride, Bethany stepped to me, grabbed the sides of my face with her hands and kissed me harder than she’d ever done before. Her hands slipped from my face, and she wrapped her arms around my neck as I kissed her back. I could hear the paper of the check and envelope colliding with the floor, but I didn’t care.

  I took Bethany into my arms, and her legs wrapped around me. Our wild kisses didn’t stop as I marched her to my bedroom determined for that final taste of her. How did I know it was final? I didn’t, but there was a feeling that hung in the air that told me tonight would be our last night together and I wanted to cherish it.

  Laying her on the bed, I was right over her. I slinked my hand under her short blue dress and found the soft fabric of her panties. I pulled them to the side and my fingers found her pussy wet and aching.

  “So fucking wet, Girlie,” I groaned as I felt how eager she was for me.

  “Please, fuck me, Liam,” she moaned into the air, her back arched as her body pleaded for it. I rubbed my thumb over her clit and she shook under me, while moans escaped her lips.

  The last time would be as perfect as I could make it. Once she left Fort Shasta, I knew the chances of seeing her again were slim to none.

  “Let’s get these panties off you,” I murmured to her as I began to drag them down her legs. Those legs were something to gawk at and I did as long as I could. One by one, they slipped from the pair of red panties she’d worn.

  The front of her dress buttoned, and I started at the last one. My fingers worked each button delicately and I gazed at every bit of flesh that was introduced to me with the opening of every button.

  My lips pressed to her belly button and I planted a kiss. Closing my eyes, I thought about the pregnancy she never told me about and the baby that was once inside. I would have loved every moment of caring for a pregnant Bethany. I’d give her belly kisses every day and talk to the little one inside. I never had those moments with Kayleigh. We’d broken up not long after she told me she was pregnant. I wanted to settle, and she wanted to party.

  Another button gone, and another kiss placed. Over and over I repeated it until I reached the bright red of her bra. I loved when the bra matched the panties. That little something extra made me think she planned it. She knew we’d end up in my bed and she knew I’d be turned on by that tiny bit of effort.

  “You know I like red,” I mumbled against her heated skin. I kissed her again, and she giggled at my stubble scratching at her skin. “Sit up, baby.”

  She did and I reached around, unhooking her bra before I led her to lie back down. My hands worked with her help to remove the last of her dress and her bra. Bethany was naked under me, every bit of her c
reamy flesh left uncovered for me.

  Her cheeks tinged pink in embarrassment as I looked over. I guess I was trying to burn that image of her into my memory, to keep it forever.

  “Liam,” Bethany whispered up to me.

  “Hmm.”

  “You’re still dressed,” she pointed out and I chuckled, my deep voice almost frightening me after our quiet moments.

  It wasn’t as if I wasn’t burning for her. My cock had been strained against the zipper of my jeans since she walked into my place. I knew once I set myself free, it would be over much too quickly.

  I stood, and her eyes were glued to me as I lifted my t-shirt over my head. Bethany bit down on her lip slightly as my fingers worked on my belt, button, and zipper. She was terrible at keeping secrets and right now I saw right through her and all of her want. It wasn’t a secret to me what she wanted me to do to her. I took my jeans off leaving her with a disappointed look on her face. I smirked knowing what she was waiting for.

  I could almost hear the moment her pulse kicked up as I kicked my boxers off and to the side with my jeans. She was propped up on her elbows with a burning hunger in her eyes.

  “Come here,” I grumbled as my hand took hold of my hard shaft. She moved quickly toward me, her eyes never leaving my hand that worked my pulsing dick that was waiting for one last taste of Bethany.

  I climbed into the bed and sat back on my knees. I motioned for Bethany to come closer.

  “Climb on,” I instructed.

  Bethany maneuvered her perfect body to where she was straddling my cock. I nodded as her skin rubbed against mine. I gripped her hips as I guided her down. A gasp indicated the moment I’d entered her. She pushed down and took me in, her eyes gently rolling to the back of her head as she began to ride.

  “That’s right,” I mumbled as I forced myself to stay in reality.

  Her perfect little tits bounced in my face as she quickened her pace. I captured one in my mouth, sucking hard at her flesh. Bethany moaned and threw her head back. My cock twitched at the feeling of her muscles tightening around it. Not yet, it couldn’t be over just yet.

  I pulled her off, missing the feel of her immediately. Bethany whimpered at the denial of her sweet finish, but I had to feel her, have her, and hold her. Laying her on her side, I slipped up behind her and lifted her leg enough to pierce her once again. Bethany yelled out into the dimness of my room.

  Pounding into her, I felt every bit of our energy pulsing together. Harder I went as Bethany screamed out into my bedroom. It would be the last time I heard her, our last moment of heated passion.

  My fingers slipped around her petite waist and found her clit. Rubbing against it she was only seconds from shattering.

  “Cum,” I whispered.

  “Liam, Oh God. I love you!” she screamed and at her word I inhaled sharply at my own elation.

  I had no words, I grunted as I went rock hard, holding her close, inhaling her scent, and absorbing her love. I could only hold her close and would hold her for a long as I could.

  “Please, don’t go,” I whispered weakly.

  “You know I have to, but I will pay you back for everything, Liam. I promise you,” she said quietly as she turned to me and planted a single kiss on my chest.

  My arms held her tight, as tight as I could. She was slipping away and there was no stopping her.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Bethany

  The sun woke me. His scent enticed me to stay, but I knew it was time. I wiggled from Liam’s strong arms and stood looking over him. I could stay but staying meant giving up the life I’d built. I was a talented surgeon and I wanted to continue to share that talent. I wanted to keep bettering the lives of those who needed it. To do that, I couldn’t stick around in Fort Shasta much longer.

  I grabbed my underwear from the floor and got it on before picking up my discarded dress. Liam moved and moaned. I froze in place for a moment before he fell back into his slumber. I wiped away the tears that were threatening to spill out. It wasn’t exactly the way I expected to say goodbye to Liam, but it was the goodbye we’d get, forever.

  Finishing the last button of my dress, I gave Liam one last glance. He was my first love, and I’d love him always, no matter what. He’d hurt me and redeemed himself, and now it was time to leave him for good.

  In his living room, I picked up my purse and the check from Liam that laid discarded on the floor. I’d pay him back for all he’d done for me. I wouldn’t remain in debt to him.

  Quietly, I left his apartment behind and hurried down the stairs to where my car was parked. I inhaled sharply at the pain that pierced my heart. I’d lost my dad and the love of my life.

  “You’re gone for good, huh?” a voice startled me, and I spotted Liam’s dad. He was dressed in his mechanic blues as he looked me over after spending the night at Liam’s place.

  “Yeah, heading to get the last of my stuff from Dad’s place and then going back to L.A.,” I told him as I took a final fleeting glance at Liam’s place. I sighed hard thinking of what I was giving up. I’d survived without him before, I could do it again. “Can you tell Liam if he needs me, I’m only a phone call away?”

  “I will. He’s going to be a little broke up about you leaving. He’s loved you since high school and I don’t think he could never not love you.” Every single word filled my heart and I knew them to be true. “When he broke up with you, I could never figure it out. I was waiting on your marriage and for Liam to get out of this damn town. Then he got Renni and he planted himself even more here. He needs to dig up those roots and leave, the same way you did. I’m proud of you Bethany. Your dad was damn sure proud. Just keep Liam in your heart.”

  “I will. There’s no doubt about that.” I stepped to Mr. Howard and he threw his arms around me in a bear hug.

  “See you around. Don’t ever be a stranger,” he said as he let me go.

  “I won’t,” I said with a smile knowing there were good people in Fort Shasta. Like every place there was the good and the bad, but the bad kept me away. I’d always be back for the good people.

  I fought back tears as I closed the trunk of my car. I’d loaded the final boxes left in Dad’s house and it was time for me to say goodbye to this house for good. I’d grown up there and every milestone of my childhood was made in those walls. It was bittersweet, but life moved on and so would I.

  As I turned to get in the car, a truck pulled up in the driveway and blocked me in. I grunted at the intrusion. The door opened and out stepped Liam. He stared me down as he stomped in my direction.

  “You could have been decent enough to say goodbye,” he growled as he approached me. He was filled with fury. “You didn’t have to fucking sneak out like some whore in the night. You’re the love of my life, Bethany. Please, consider it. Consider staying around.”

  I fiercely shook my head. He was out of his damn mind. He knew staying around wasn’t in the cards for me. I already had a long line of surgeries I had to reschedule. I had families that waited for years to get procedures done. Staying around let them down. I had responsibilities beyond myself.

  “Liam, you knew I was leaving. What more can I say? I love you and I always will, but this is not the place for me. Just let me go,” I begged him as my tears fell down my face. “Just let me go.” I choked out my final words and turned away from him. I couldn’t look in his eyes any longer, it only made the pain that more intense.

  Maybe it was the goodbye we needed all along. When he’d broken up with me all those years ago, it was a phone call and there had never been closure. Now, it was a real and heart wrenching goodbye.

  “Fine,” I heard Liam say. I refused to look at him, but I heard the sound of footsteps, followed by the rumbling engine of the truck. When I glanced up, he was driving away.

  That was it.

  I got into my car and started up the engine, but I couldn’t drive. My head pressed to the steering wheel and I sobbed for all of my losses. Everything I knew was gone from D
ad to Liam. My heart had been emptied of the hold I had to them and though moving on was a part of life, it felt so distant even though it was right in front of my face.

  Crying, why was I breaking my rule. That was one thing about being home, I let my emotions get the best of me. Crying wouldn’t get me anywhere and I knew that. I had to put my big girl panties back on and find that strength I had all those years ago when I felt my world was crumbling around me.

  Lifting my head, I wiped away my tears and stared at the house in front of me that would be selling fairly soon. The real estate agent I hired already had found a buyer and it wasn’t even technically on the market.

  It was time. I couldn’t sit in the driveway all day and mourn. I had a long drive ahead of me and part of my old life to get back to.

  “Bye Dad,” I whispered to the property he’d raised me on. I pulled out of the driveway and drove up the street. Goodbyes were hard but necessary.

  My eyes scanned over the email from the bank. Everything was in order as the house had sold. I was able to get the rest of dad’s debt paid off and I had a nice chunk of money left over to do the one thing I needed to do, pay Liam back.

  I picked up my cell phone and dialed the only person I could talk to. It was Tuesday afternoon and normally that’s when Dad would call. I missed his voice, telling me the goings on in Fort Shasta and talking about the bar. I missed just being able to tell him I loved him whenever I got the chance.

  “Hello, Erikson Design, this is Olivia.” My best friend answered her office phone as usual.

  I didn’t know what I would do without her, she was all I had outside of Liam, but I couldn’t call him. Just hearing his voice would wreck me. It was all too soon and I honestly didn’t know if I could ever face him.

  “Hey Liv, I just got the email. All is good,” I informed her as my eyes scanned over the email once more.

  “That’s great. That’s something you no longer have to worry about and you can close that chapter. Unless…” her voice trailed off.