Homegoing

by Janae Keyes

  “Liam!” I swore I heard my name, but I couldn’t be sure of it. I swear I could still feel Bethany around me as I held on tight to every memory of her, to the thoughts of my daughter. I couldn’t give up, but it was all too much, and darkness took me.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Bethany

  “It looks like you are doing well enough to go home today,” I beamed down at the little girl who’d I’d performed surgery on only days ago.

  She was healing nicely and soon the scars from the brutal dog attack would be something of the past. I’d reconstructed her face from what been torn away. Her smile made warmth fill my heart. That was why I’d come back to Los Angeles months ago. I had this calling to change lives and I would do it one patient at a time.

  “This is for you,” I reached into the pocket of my white jacket and pulled out a lollipop that I handed over to the grinning little girl before I turned to her mother whose eyes were filled with hope. “My staff will contact you to get all your follow-up appointments. In the packet you received this morning, it has all the information on wound care and a nurse will be coming by to show you a few tricks before she is fully discharged.”

  “I cannot thank you enough,” her mother gushed as she stood from her chair and pulled me into a tight hug. “All of the other doctors said it would be impossible to repair her this way, but you’ve done it. Thank you! From the bottom of my heart.”

  “It’s no problem,” I beamed proudly. “This is why I do this job. Little Valerie is going to have a full and beautiful life.”

  Suddenly, my cell phone began to ring in my pocket. I was in the middle of making my hospital runs, but there was always an emergency around the corner.

  “I’m sorry. I have to take this. Good luck with everything and I will see you at your follow-up,” I called back to the mother as I rushed from the hospital room and into the hall of the children’s surgery ward.

  I peered down at the screen. It wasn’t a number I knew, but a 530 area code. It could have been from Fort Shasta, but also a good chunk of Northern California used that area code. I was hesitant to answer, but I did it.

  “Dr. Bethany Cross,” I answered the mystery call.

  “Bethany, it’s Leann Howard,” the frantic sounding voice of Liam’s mom came through the line. I’d know her voice anywhere, but why was she calling.

  “Hi, Mrs. Howard. Is something wrong?” I asked as I leaned against the wall railing. I smiled at a few nurses as they passed me by.

  “It’s Liam. There was a fire at the bar and Liam’s in the hospital. There is so much going on. The fire department wants to speak with you. Your name is still on the fire insurance. I can’t answer any of their questions. Liam has been in and out of it since the fire. I just don’t know.” She was freaking out. A fire? I was trying to process everything she was saying to me.

  “Wait, a fire? Liam was there?” I asked feeling my entire body run cold and my limbs beginning to shake. My mouth was instantly dry, and a dizzy feeling hit me.

  As fast as my feet could take me, I rushed over to the small seating area not far and planted my butt on a seat. Liam, his face ran through my mind. I was scared as hell.

  “Is he okay? What happened?” I had to know every detail. I needed to get up to Fort Shasta as fast as I could get up there.

  “He barely made it. Minister Garland got him out, but just barely. He’s clinging to life right now. He’s got a few burns and the smoke inhalation was bad. He was beaten up and shot. Someone did this to him.” She was full out sobbing and I’d quickly joined her.

  “I’m coming. I don’t know how long it will take me to get there, but I’m coming,” I cried and held my arm around myself. My tears dripped onto my pants as I couldn’t control their flow. Not Liam. Who would want to hurt Liam? “Please, umm...if you see him soon...tell him I’m coming. Tell him...Tell him I love him.”

  “He knows. I know he knows. We all know, but I’ll tell him,” she sniffed.

  “See you soon,” I added before I ended the call.

  A group of nurses had surrounded me as I sat in near hysterics. I didn’t know what to do with myself, but I had to get up there no matter what.

  “I have an emergency back home. I’ve really got to go.”

  I jumped to my feet and sprinted up the hall. I couldn’t and wouldn’t lose Liam. We’d made our mistakes and walked away from each other too many times, but this couldn’t be how it ended.

  Not today. Not ever.

  It was the longest drive of my life. Each moment that passed in the drive from L.A. to Fort Shasta was agony. I’d called Mrs. Howard a couple time and also talked to Olivia who’d gotten the news not long after me in a call with her grandma.

  The sun hung low in the sky as I arrived in the hospital parking lot in Yreka. I’d driven with only stopping for gas and to stuff something in my mouth. I was running on pure adrenaline and the desire to hold Liam’s hand and be by his side.

  I jumped from my car and rushed inside. I was disoriented and didn’t exactly know where I was going, but then I spotted old Mrs. Stevens. She sat on a waiting room chair looking defeated. I took the seat next to her and she peered up at me, with pain filled eyes.

  “Bethany, you came?” She almost seemed shocked to see me there, but also relieved.

  “Yeah, do you know where I can find Liam?” I asked her.

  “They took him back into surgery a few hours ago,” she told me as she took my hand into hers and squeezed it tight. “I shouldn’t have left him last night. I was the last body out the door. Maybe, I should have stayed.” She shook her head and tears trickled down her face.

  I had so many thoughts like that when it came to Dad. Maybe I should have drilled him more when he called, got more information on how he was doing. I could ask those questions over and over, but the answer would remain the same. What was done was done.

  “Hey, he’s going to fight. I know he will. I know Liam, he’s a fighter. He’s fought so much for Fort Shasta and I know Fort Shasta is fighting for him.” I dug deep inside to the girl Liam knew I was. I always held my confidence above all things. Even when life seemed grim, I held my head high. That was the girl Liam knew and I’d be that girl for him and right now, for Fort Shasta.

  We sat without words. The only noise around us were those moving through the halls of the hospital. I closed my eyes and my mind wandered to a moment it wandered to frequently in the last few months, my final night with Liam. His arms held my naked frame close and his lips planted warm kisses on my back. His nose pressed into my hair, inhaling my scent and the scent of our passion. It was Liam and I are our most pure. It was Liam, the only man I could ever love the way I did.

  “She made it,” I heard Mrs. Howard’s voice before I saw her. She walked up with Mr. Howard at her side. Behind them was a man who wore a Fire Station polo.

  I stood from my seat as they approached me. Mrs. Howard pulled me in for a strong hug. Mr. Howard patted my back. They’d always been family to me. When Liam and I started dating, they treated me like a daughter. So many weeknights I would spend at the dinner table with them while Dad worked at the bar. Mrs. Howard helped me get ready for prom and did my makeup.

  “I’m so glad you made it,” she whispered as she held me for another moment. As she pulled away, I gave her a weak smile. “They took Liam in for another surgery. The doctor said things look promising. I’ve just been praying and praying. It’s been a hard and long night, but I have Mr. Calhoun here.” She pointed out the man who arrived with her and her husband. “He is the fire inspector.”

  “Good evening, Dr. Cross,” he greeted me with an extended hand and I took it. We shook hands before we all stood together.

  “What’s the extent of the damage?” I asked anxiously afraid of what he would say.

  “Well, ma’am, the entire bar was lost as well as half the homeless shelter next door. It was arson and the police and looking for those involved. I’m afraid that property will have to be demolished. Y
ou can have someone from your insurance inspect the property once we have deemed the area safe.” Every word he said sunk into me like a ton of bricks. All of my dad’s hard work and dedication literally up in flames and reduced to ashes.

  I swallowed down the lump in my throat before I spoke.

  “I’ll call up the insurance company to get someone out here,” I commented quietly as it all sunk in. I wiped away the tears that escaped my eyes.

  “I do have something for you, Dr. Cross,” Mr. Calhoun noted as he produced a manila folder. “This was given to us at the scene by Minister Garland. It seems when he found Liam and dragged him from the building, Liam was clutching this in his hands and I think you might want it.”

  The folder was placed in my hands and I flipped it open to find a photo. It was the photo of Dad and I the last time I’d been home before his death. It was the one that hung on the Wall of Fame. Liam had tried to possibly save it. The dam broke and I began to choke out sobs.

  Mrs. Howard pulled me close and she cried with me. I couldn’t believe that Liam had tried to save it while he was suffering and dying. It was the final photo of Dad and I, it meant the world that it out of everything survived the blaze. Maybe it was Dad’s way of connecting with me from the other side. He’d always called Liam my protector. In a way he was.

  After a few moments, I regained my composure, but there were so many questions about what happened in the bar that night. I wanted to get answers. I needed to find out as much as I could. Though I knew the person with the most information would be Liam.

  “What exactly happened?” I asked as I turned to Liam’s parents.

  “Seems Liam was attacked after closing. With the fire we don’t really know if they stole anything. Whoever it was set the bar on fire to cover their tracks,” Mr. Howard explained to me. I shook my head. It was completely senseless.

  “They left him there to die. To burn in that bar. This was personal. Some petty thief wouldn’t go that far,” Mrs. Howard cried. She was absolutely right. Someone looking to score a few bucks wouldn’t have done Liam that way and they wouldn’t have set the bar on fire. There was more to it.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Howard,” a voice interrupted, and we turned to find a doctor in scrubs. He had to be the surgeon. “Liam is doing good and he’s stable. We will be moving him to an ICU room within the hour. If all goes well during the night, by morning we will move him to a regular room. The surgery was a success and all bleeding has been stopped.”

  “Thank God!” Mrs. Howard cried as she hugged her husband, the surgeon, and then me.

  It was already a big relief. Liam had made it through surgery and now he had to pull through the night, but all looked good.

  Mrs. Howard was interrupted in her celebration as her cell phone rang. She pulled it from her purse and her smile faded. She looked annoyed at the phone call she was receiving.

  “Is that her again?” Mr. Howard asked, his voice also filled with the annoyance that seemed to possess his wife.

  “Of course, it is,” she growled in frustration before she shoved her phone back into her purse. “Kayleigh. She keeps calling. Since last night. We hadn’t even gotten the call about Liam and she was calling about coming to get Serenati from us. It makes no sense that she keeps calling nonstop. Right now, we have Serenati staying with a neighbor. We told her Liam was hurt at work, but we didn’t go into it much further with her. Kayleigh knows she can’t just get Serenati like that. She’s not allowed with her unless a court appointed chaperone is there. That was the ruling.”

  “Maybe she knows something,” I commented. I wouldn’t put it past Kayleigh. She always had sneaky ways about her, even when we were actually friends.

  “I hope she didn’t have anything to do with this mess,” Mrs. Howard said as her husband put his arm around her. “That would just be too nasty of her. She needs to be getting her life together. Liam doesn’t mind sharing custody if she can get clean and leave the riff raff she’s hanging around.”

  I peered down at the photo in my hand. Liam had the entire town behind him. There was no doubt he’d pull through.

  “I can allow one person into ICU at a time,” the doctor noted. We’d almost forgotten he was there.

  “I need more information on this Kayleigh girl for myself and to pass onto police,” Mr. Calhoun noted.

  “Bethany, you go back for a little bit,” Mrs. Howard suggested.

  “Are you sure?” I asked anxiously knowing she’d want to be with her son.

  “Yeah. I think it would be good for him,” she answered with a knowing smile and a pat on my arm. I smiled softly before following the doctor beyond the double doors.

  In my line of work, I’d seen it all. I’d worked in multiple hospitals within the US as well as a couple in South America in my year with Doctors Without Borders. Nothing could make me squirm. I followed the surgeon same as I’d walk through any hospital and we soon arrived at an ICU triage. The curtain opened and there was the one thing I hadn’t been prepared for.

  Liam was still under the effect of the anesthesia, but what shocked me was his appearance. His normally handsome and chiseled face was covered in gashes. Red, purple, black, and blue bruises covered every inch of his face. He was swollen, and his lips bloodied. I held in my tears as I sat next to his bed. I’d promised myself I’d be strong for him and I was doing that.

  My eyes found his hands, both bandaged. I took the one closest to mine into my own and gently held it. I stroked over the bandage lightly.

  “When I first got the call about you. I just knew I couldn’t lose you. You mean so much to me, and to the community of Fort Shasta. I don’t exactly know what happened to you in there, but I do know you were defending what belongs to you, us, my dad. You’re a hero in more ways than one and I love you for it. Every single day,” I told him in a quiet voice and I stared at his motionless face.

  I didn’t quite know what I’d do. For the first time, I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay and rebuild a stronger community and I wanted to do it at Liam’s side. Swallowing down the lump in my throat, I knew it wasn’t fully practical. Responsibilities held me in chains. There were patients and families depending on me to continue my job.

  I sighed, I didn’t have to figure it all out right now, but I had thinking to do. Though maybe the fire was a sign for Liam, he could leave all of this behind and run away with me. I shook my head, he’d never do it though. Being around and close to his family and was what was most important to him.

  I thought of Liam’s daughter. She needed him more than anyone else in the world. She was his universe and everything he did was for her. He kept that bar running for her the way my dad kept it running for me.

  I allowed the relative silence to fill the air around us. The sounds of the machines were white noise to me since I was used to them in my every day. They stayed in the background while in the present there was only the beating of our hearts.

  “The more I think about it. The more I think that maybe we’re just some pipe dream that will never come true,” I said with a sigh.

  I continued to hold his hand in silence. We’d tried so many times. Maybe we weren’t meant to try anymore.

  Chapter Eighteen

  Liam

  It was frustrating as all hell. I just wanted some damn food, but the nurses were refusing it to me. They all said the same shit, they had to wait for the doctor to come in and approve it. I was starving and the rumbling of my stomach was driving me nuts.

  I’d woken up in a hospital room with my parents watching over me. My first thoughts were of Serenati and where she was. They put my worries at ease when they let me know she was with their neighbor. It wasn’t too long afterwards the police and fire investigator showed up. I had to tell the whole story.

  Thinking about it, I knew I was lucky to have survived and it was just my luck Minister Garland thought about me in the first place and came looking. The heartbreaking news was the bar was a total loss.

  All the years Mr. Cros
s put into the place and it was gone in minutes. It was the only place in town that was a spot for the community to come together. We celebrated births, marriages, and even deaths in those four walls and now they were gone. Dust.

  “Ugh,” I groaned at another rumble of my stomach, but the pain of that was nothing compared to what it felt like when I moved. Without the pump of constant pain medication, I wouldn’t be able to function as much as I could.

  “I’m sure the doctor will let you eat soon. I’ve heard you’ve been a bit of a grouch,” came a sweet giggle filled voice which could only belong to one woman. Bethany.

  She stood in the doorway, as much a mirage as she’d been the night when I saw her face in the bar. Her smile radiating the space around her. Her blonde hair draped over her shoulders, and those blue eyes shining like never before.

  “They’re starving me,” I complained as I pointed out the sad cup of ice chips I’d been given. That was a fucking joke.

  Bethany stepped into the room, a potted plant in her hand that she placed on a table before she stepped fully to my bed. The beauty dressed in red touched my arm and I nearly burst with the electric sensations that coursed through my veins.

  “They need to make sure of a few things before they can let you eat. I promise you the food will come,” she reassured me with a soft smile that seemed to put some of my frustration at ease.

  “Nasty ass hospital food,” I fussed and she giggled again.

  “You’re impossible,” she stated as she took a seat next to my bed and sat down. She held my hand in her own as she’d done every visit over the last couple days. Having her near was my medicine. She was helping me heal, and keeping me strong. “Did you hear the news?”

  “About Kayleigh?” I questioned and nodded. I’d actually gotten word through the local news.