A Deep Dark Secret

by Kimberla Lawson Roby

  “Okay, here goes. I’ve been thinking about what it would feel like to kiss you and if you’d be okay with me doing it.”

  “Oh.”

  “So, what do you think?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “It will only be a kiss, and that’s all. Nothing else, because I can tell you’re not ready for anything more than that and I would never ask you to do something you don’t wanna do. But I do want to kiss you, and I also want something else.”

  “What?”

  “For you to be my girl.”

  Jillian tried to stop herself from smiling too much and was glad he was tall enough that her face rested close to his shoulder and he couldn’t see her expression.

  “So, will you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Good. And is it also okay for us to kiss?”

  “Not in here.”

  “No, outside on the side of the building when the dance is almost over.”

  “Okay.”

  They danced the next three songs straight, and Jillian had never been more excited about anything. This was, by far, the best night of her life, and she couldn’t wait to see what it felt like to kiss someone she really liked. Someone her own age. A boy and not a grown man.

  Finally, after dancing to a few more songs and then sitting and chatting for a while, Jillian looked at her watch and got a little nervous. Nikki and Marcus still weren’t back yet. She was nervous because she knew her parents were going to be there right on time, and that would be in about twenty minutes.

  “My mom and dad are going to be here soon,” she said.

  “Then let’s leave now.”

  On the way to the cafeteria exit, Jillian waved good-bye to Ashley and Shelly, and she and Kyle made their way outside and around to a lighted corner. It was really chilly, and she was glad Kyle had immediately wrapped his arms around her waist. She wrapped hers around his neck, and he kissed her. At first, Jillian sort of liked the way it felt and closed her eyes, but then when he switched from regular kissing to tongue kissing, she experienced awful flashbacks. She saw her father’s face and pulled away from Kyle.

  But Kyle pulled her back toward him and started kissing her again. She tried her best to bear it, but she couldn’t. No matter how hard she tried. He kissed her, but without even realizing it, she pushed him with so much force that he fell to the ground. “I can’t do this,” she yelled.

  She could tell he was gravely confused and didn’t understand.

  “Why’d you do that? What’s wrong with you?”

  “Nothing. My parents are probably here, so we need to go.”

  “But why are you acting like this?”

  “We really have to go. Please.”

  Kyle got up and brushed the dust from his jeans. “Whatever.”

  But when they made it back to the parking lot area, she wanted to vanish. Her father was standing outside of his SUV, watching her every move, and he didn’t look happy. He was furious, and she knew it was because he’d seen her and Kyle walking from the side of the school. She became even more afraid when she didn’t see her mother.

  “What in the world were you doing back there? And who is this boy?” her father said.

  “Um, this is Kyle. You know, the Kyle that calls me sometimes.”

  “Uh-huh, but what were the two of you doing around there all in the dark?”

  “Nothing. We just walked back there to talk. We just came out of the dance a few minutes ago.”

  “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

  “We did, Daddy. We really did.”

  “Get in the car! And where’s Nikki?”

  “I think she’s still inside.”

  Kyle took a step backward. “Jill, I think that’s my mom over there, so I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”

  “No, I don’t think so,” her father declared.

  Kyle looked just as frightened as Jillian was and hurried down the sidewalk.

  “I’ll go back in to get Nikki,” she said, although something told her Nikki wasn’t in there.

  And she was right, because no sooner than when she’d turned around, she heard someone screaming and crying. To her regret, it was in fact Nikki, and she looked a mess. Her hair was all over her head, grass was scattered through parts of it, and her shirt and jean jumper were saturated with tons of dirt. When she’d left, she’d had on a jean jacket, too, but now it was nowhere to be found.

  Nikki slowly strode toward Jillian and her father, and everyone in the parking lot stared and whispered.

  “Oh my God, Nik, what happened to you?” Jillian said, embracing her.

  “Nothing,” she said, still sobbing. “I just want to go home.”

  “Did some boy do this to you?” Jillian’s father asked.

  “No. Some girls jumped me. They jumped me from behind and for no reason.”

  “Well, where are they now?” Jillian asked.

  Nikki moved away from Jillian and pulled open the back door of the SUV. “I don’t know. But can we please leave here?”

  “Maybe we should call the police and just wait for them,” Jillian’s father suggested.

  “No, Mr. James. Please, please just take me home. I’m begging you.”

  Nikki got in, he closed the door behind her, and Jillian got in on the other side but in the back with Nikki. Her father drove away, but everyone was still standing and watching. Nikki cried uncontrollably, and Jillian pulled her best friend into her arms.

  “Nik, who were these girls?”

  “I don’t know, and I don’t wanna talk about it anymore. I just wanna go home to my mom.”

  Jillian wanted to ask more questions, but she didn’t, and they drove the rest of the way in silence. When they arrived, they all got out and went up to the front door. Miss G must have heard them pull up because she opened the door right away.

  “Oh my goodness, what happened?” she said, clearly upset.

  Nikki and her mom grabbed hold of each other, and Nikki cried even harder.

  “Baby, what happened? Please tell me.”

  Jillian wondered if Nikki would give more details, but all she did was repeat the same thing, that some girls had jumped her. Although she did add some part about these mysterious girls asking her to come outside and that they’d lured her around back.

  “You went with these girls, and you didn’t even know them? And wasn’t the dance just for the students who go there?”

  “Yes, but they must have snuck in because I’ve never seen them before. And I only went outside with them because they seemed nice and were having a lot of fun.”

  Miss G looked at Jillian. “Is this true, Jill?”

  Nikki quickly answered for her. “She was on the dance floor when I left with them, and that’s why she didn’t see anything.”

  “This is crazy,” Miss G said. “And I’m calling the police.”

  “No, Mom. Please don’t do that.”

  “Byron, if you don’t mind, can you and Jill stay here until the police arrive?”

  “We’ll be glad to, and you’re definitely doing the right thing by calling them. I don’t understand why the chaperones at these dances allow kids to go out of the school before the dance is over anyway,” he said, looking at Jillian, and she knew he was still livid about catching her with Kyle. “And I never saw even one security person, which they should assign outside the building at every school function, regardless of whether they have problems with violence or not.”

  When the two officers, one woman and one man, arrived, they questioned Nikki and then questioned Jillian, but Nikki still gave no additional information. She stuck to her story, and it was obvious that while the officers would file a report, there wasn’t going to be a whole lot they could do without names or even some kind of physical description. Needless to say, Miss G was beside herself. She was angry at Nikki for leaving the dance with a bunch of girls she didn’t know and hurt over the violent thing that had happened to her.

  Finally, not long after the officers left, Jilli
an hugged Nikki and Miss G and told Nikki she’d be over to check on her tomorrow. Her father hugged both of them as well, and he and Jillian left.

  But as soon as they did, her father tore into her about Kyle and drove like a madman.

  “You really, really disappointed me tonight, and I had no idea you’d turned into such a little whore. I had no idea that all this time you’ve been having sex with that little boy.”

  “I’m not, Daddy. I haven’t done anything with him.”

  “Shut up! You’re such a big liar, and I should have known that as soon as you started talking to this boy on the phone, it was only going to be a matter of time before you let him have his way with you. You let him put it in you, didn’t you?”

  “No. I didn’t. I wouldn’t do that. We were only talking.”

  He slammed on the accelerator again. “You think I’m stupid, don’t you?”

  Jillian wondered where those police officers were now. “Oh God, Daddy, you’re going to kill us.”

  “I thought you were my little princess, and that’s why I’ve always tried to be everything I could to you.”

  “But I am, Daddy. I promise you, I haven’t had sex with Kyle or any other boy. I wouldn’t lie to you about that.”

  Jillian wasn’t sure why, but for some reason, he slowed down and took a deep breath. “Even if you didn’t do it with him, I’ll bet you wanted to. And the thought of you being with any boy at all makes me crazy. I could never take you having special times with anyone the way you’ve had them with me.”

  Jillian kept quiet and prayed he would get her home safe and sound.

  Her father looked straight ahead. “Did you kiss him?”

  “No.”

  “If you lie to me again, I can’t be responsible for what I might do. Now, tell me the truth.”

  “Okay, yes. I did kiss him, but I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it at all.”

  She waited for him to say something else, but he didn’t. Not until they drove inside the garage and he switched off the ignition.

  He then turned and faced her. “Thank you for being honest.”

  His mood had changed drastically, and even at twelve, Jillian knew this wasn’t ordinary behavior.

  “I’m sorry for doubting you, because deep down, I knew my princess could never give herself to some little punk, but I had to make sure. I had to make sure you hadn’t turned into the same slutty little tramp your friend Nikki has turned into. Claiming she was jumped by a bunch of girls when she knows full well she was laid up in those woods with some no-good boy.”

  Jillian didn’t dare say a word.

  “And just so we don’t have to worry about this Kyle character trying to pressure you into doing something dirty and sinful again, I don’t want him calling here anymore.”

  “But, Daddy—”

  “Either that or I’m telling your mother what I caught you doing. I’ll tell her that I caught you on the side of the school giving Mr. Kyle Davis a blow job. I’ll tell her that you were doing it like a pro, and that this can only mean one thing—that you’ve obviously had a whole lot of practice with it.”

  Tears seeped from Jillian’s eyes and down her face, but she quickly wiped them away.

  “You’d better dry all of that up before we go inside, because if you don’t, your mom is going to wanna know what’s wrong with you. And she doesn’t need that kind of worry, because Layla isn’t feeling all that well. She came down with some sort of stomach flu when she was at your grandparents’ and that’s why your mom wanted to be dropped off at home with her before I came to pick you up. And now I’m glad she didn’t come with me because she would have been just heartbroken if she’d seen you coming out of the dark with that little boy.”

  Jillian sniffled, got out of the car, and tried figuring out who she should feel the sorriest for.

  Nikki or herself.

  Chapter 13

  JILLIAN OPENED HER EYES, AWAKING FROM A VERY DEEP SLEEP, and sighed. Last night had been a most eventful evening and one she prayed wouldn’t repeat itself any time soon. Her father had acted like a stoned maniac and had abruptly turned back into the same monster he’d been all along. Things had been so much better over the last few weeks, but now that the evil in him had returned, Jillian wondered what this was going to mean for the two of them.

  Then there was Nikki and her unpleasant and seemingly hostile incident, and the question of what had in fact really happened. She’d practically sworn to her story about these so-called girls beating her up, but for some reason, Jillian didn’t believe it. She was almost sure Marcus had something to do with this, but there was no way she could prove it. Nikki had gladly left with him of her own free will, but something had gone terribly wrong. Plus, where had Marcus been when this posse of girls had confronted Nikki? Not to mention Nikki didn’t have any scratches or bruises on her face, so that was even more reason not to believe the story she’d kept repeating.

  Jillian left her bed, went over and opened her blinds, and stood there for a few moments, allowing the sun to shine across her face. She then picked up her cordless phone and dialed Nikki.

  Miss G answered after the third ring. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Miss G. How are you?”

  “I’m fine, honey. How are you?”

  “I’m good.”

  “You wanna speak to Nikki?”

  “Yes, thank you.”

  Miss G must have been in the same room with her because Nikki got on right away. “Hi.”

  “Hey. How are you?”

  “I’m fine. Everything is okay.”

  “I was so afraid for you.”

  “I was, too, but it’s all over now and that’s all that matters.”

  “I wish the police could find out who those girls were.”

  “I do, too, but there’s no way they can because I didn’t recognize any of them.”

  “Then why do you think they did that to you? Because normally when people want to fight, it’s because they have some sort of issue with you.”

  “I don’t know. But hey, I have to go now.”

  “Okay, but I’ll be over this afternoon sometime.”

  “Thanks, Jill.”

  Jillian pressed the end button and wondered why Nikki was sticking to such an unbelievable lie. It didn’t make any sense, but maybe she had a good reason for telling it.

  Jillian looked up when she heard a knock at her door. “Come in.”

  It was her mother. “Good morning, sweetie.”

  “Good morning, Mom.”

  “You should probably call and check on Nikki. See how she’s doing.”

  “I just hung up with her.”

  “Well, did she tell you anything different?”

  Jillian had filled her mother in when she’d gotten home last night, but her mother had seemed just as puzzled as she was. “No. And we didn’t stay on the phone very long. She seemed like she was in a hurry to get off.”

  “Mm, mm, mm. It’s so sad, and I just don’t understand it.”

  “Neither do I.”

  “I’m just glad you were smart enough not to leave the dance until it was completely over and it was time for you to come home.”

  Jillian knew that hadn’t been the case, what with her going outside with Kyle, but she couldn’t tell her mother that. She couldn’t, and she hoped her father wouldn’t tell on her either.

  “You don’t think some little boy did something to her, do you?”

  “I don’t know. When we saw her coming from the back of the school, she was by herself and we never saw anyone else.”

  “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you girls to go to any more of these dances.”

  Jillian didn’t like the sound of that, because if she couldn’t go to dances or other evening and weekend events, she’d never get to see Kyle outside of their regular school day. As it was, her father had already banned her from talking to him on the phone.

  “Why?”

  “Because it’s much too dangerous,
and the last thing I want is for something like this to happen to you. People are so crazy nowadays, and there’s just no telling what they might do anymore.”

  “This has never happened before, though. Not at our school, and I doubt that it’ll happen again.”

  “We’ll see, but just the idea that something happened to Nikki last night is enough for us to be a lot more cautious. But like I said, we’ll see.”

  “Are we still going to the grocery store?”

  “Yes, and actually, I’m about to jump in the shower now.”

  “Can you drop me off at Nikki’s when we finish shopping?”

  “Of course.”

  “Is Layla going with us?”

  “I’m going to check on her once I get dressed. I’m sure all she had was some sort of twenty-four-hour bug, though, and that she’s fine.”

  “Good morning, Mommy,” Layla said, walking into her sister’s room and hugging her mom’s waist. “Good morning, Jill.”

  “Well, I guess Jill and I talked you up, hunh? Good morning. Are you feeling better today?”

  “A lot better. Are we going somewhere?”

  Jillian and her mom laughed because Layla loved going anywhere, even if it was just down the street to the pharmacy.

  “We’re going to the grocery store and then maybe to run a couple of quick errands.”

  “Oh. Then are we leaving now?”

  “First, you have to get some clothes on,” their mother said, walking Layla out into the hallway and back toward her bedroom.

  Jillian smiled at how cute her baby sister was and then went to her closet to see what she was going to wear today. After a few minutes, though, Layla came back into her sister’s room and jumped onto her bed.

  “I thought you were getting ready, little girl?”

  “Jiiiill,” she complained, the same as always. “I’m not a little girl.”

  Jillian smiled. “Oh yeah, that’s right. I keep forgetting. You’re a big girl.”

  “Is that what you’re going to put on?” Layla asked, pointing at the hot-pink velour sweat suit Jillian was holding.

  “Yep.”

  “That’s pretty, and I’m going to tell Mom that I want to wear my pink sweat suit, too, so we can be dressed alike.”

  “Sounds good to me.”