French Kissing: Season Three

by Harper Bliss

  “Oh.” Claire clutched her hands in front of her crotch as though she’d only just now become aware of being bare-legged. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to do that.”

  “I’m attracted to you, but I’m not sure I want to act on it.” There. Margot had said it. Not that it solved anything.

  “So, to sum this up: we’re both attracted to each other.” Claire nodded pensively. “Interesting situation to be in.”

  “What do you suggest we do about this?” Margot, first and foremost, thought it important to be pragmatic.

  “Er…” Claire put her hands on the edge of the kitchen counter again. How surreal was it for them to be having this conversation in the kitchen of all places? That coffee would be cold soon. “I don’t know.”

  “I think I’ll go to the gym,” Margot said. “I’m on call as of noon, so…” What did that mean? What was she trying to say? Was she trying to get Claire to make the first move? Did she even want that?

  “We shouldn’t rush into anything.” Claire’s voice grew hesitant. “I’m seeing Jules this afternoon. I should probably focus on that.”

  “I—I guess I’m scared,” Margot finally admitted.

  “God, me too,” Claire said. “I’m scared of making the same mistakes all over again.”

  “Maybe it will blow over,” Margot offered. “Maybe what we’re feeling is just a reaction to our reunion and the fact that we’ve been spending so much time together. Maybe it will pass if we give it some more time.”

  “Maybe…” Claire just kept on standing there. Margot believed she could feel something throb underneath her jeans. But she couldn’t do anything about it.

  “Okay then.” Margot tried to take a deep breath. “How about a cup of coffee?”

  “Yes. That’s why I was here in the first place.” Claire gave her a sheepish grin. “Want some?”

  “No. I’m going to the gym.” But Margot couldn’t move. It was as though her feet were glued to the floor. All she could do was stand there and look at Claire. At her strong neck, and those long fingers, and the tiny lines along her lips.

  Then, Claire broke the magic and turned around to pour herself a cup of coffee. Margot stared at her behind only for a fraction of a second before turning around herself, exiting the flat, and riding her new motorcycle to the boxing gym.

  CLAIRE

  “I’m going to leave you to it.” Nadia kissed Juliette on the lips and Claire on the cheek and exited the apartment. Claire had wanted to talk to her, because she’d been racking her brain to come up with a suitable present to convey to Juliette how sorry she was, and had an idea. But this was definitely an idea she had to run by Nadia first. She’d give her a call later.

  After Nadia left, it was awkward for Claire to sit with Juliette in their flat where she had spent so much time of her life. Working alongside Juliette was one thing—and Juliette had made sure they didn’t spend much time alone together. Watching the debate with her last Thursday while everyone else was present had been a step in the right direction. But having coffee with Juliette on a Saturday afternoon, an activity that used to be the most mundane, was making Claire break out into a sweat.

  “How are you, Jules?” Claire asked.

  Juliette waved off her question. “Before we can even begin this conversation, I need you tell me the truth about something,” she said. “Nadia won’t tell me, so it’s up to you.”

  “Sure. Anything you want.” Claire knew how Juliette’s mind worked, making her break out into an even bigger sweat. She’d need to get on delivering that present as soon as possible.

  “Will you please tell me what’s so special about Marie bloody Dievart?” Juliette asked.

  Oh shit. Claire had hoped that Juliette would have at least moved past that.

  “I’m not asking you to make a big scene about it,” Juliette added. “But I just want to know. Is that really so hard to understand? Because I don’t see it. I really, really don’t. What’s the neurosurgeon’s secret? Just pretend she never slept with Nadia. We’re best friends. If it had been any other woman, you would have told me already. So… this is your test. Your friendship test. Tell me.”

  “Are you being serious?” Claire had to ask. She could tell from Juliette’s pinched together eyes and the rigid stance of her mouth that she was deadly serious. But there was always a chance…

  “Maybe my brain works in mysterious ways. Or maybe I’m just very immature. Or maybe I’m just a sucker for punishment. But I always get stuck on that thought. What makes her so special that it compelled both my wife and my best friend to fall for her? There has to be something. You need to give me something, Claire. Because if you don’t, I can only conclude that it’s all down to me.”

  “No, Jules. I’ve told you this before. It had absolutely nothing to do with you.”

  “Great. Then tell me.” Juliette locked her gaze on Claire’s. She was in full-on Juliette Barbier pitbull mode. She was not letting this go. “It’s the only upside of you sleeping with her. The inside information you have. So give it to me.”

  Claire thought about the conversation she’d had with Nadia. When they’d tried to define the magical powers of Marie Dievart. Which conclusion had they drawn? This thought, automatically, made her mind wander to the time she’d spent in bed with Marie. For Claire, it had been—without a shadow of a doubt—the effortless command she had exercised over her. This made total sense for Claire. But for Nadia? Because that was the information Juliette was really after. As far as Claire knew, for Nadia it didn’t make much sense at all. Moreover, Claire didn’t want to spend any time thinking about her friends’ sex life. Nadia and Juliette were like sisters to her. Of course, she should have thought about that more before she jumped into bed with Dievart. This was her punishment. Her ‘test’, as Juliette put it.

  “I can only speak for myself, Jules,” Claire said.

  “Of course.” Juliette came across as very business-like about this. Like she was waiting for one of the interns to pitch her an idea.

  “You know what I like in a woman. You know I like them to exercise a certain kind of command over me. The more effortless, the better. And Dievart had that. In spades.” Claire remembered the first time Marie had commanded her—controlled her more like. They hadn’t gone on a date. No dinner conversation had been involved. Marie had texted her. Claire had replied and an hour later knocked on her hotel room door. From the moment Marie had opened the door and given her the sort of slightly disdainful smile that made Claire’s blood sing with lust, she had known. Just as Marie had known that Claire had come to surrender. And surrender she had.

  “So she spanked you?” Juliette asked.

  “Among other things.” Claire was sweating so profusely now, she wanted to take off her sweater.

  “She’s some sort of BDSM guru then,” Juliette said matter-of-factly. “I figured it was something like that.”

  “With me, it was just a bad case of supreme chemistry between us. I felt it from the very first time I saw her. She was so forward. So confident.” To her horror, Claire realized she had adopted a musing tone—as if she was relishing the memories.

  “Margot is not like that, though,” Juliette stated.

  “God, no. For starters, Margot has kindness in her heart. She’s considerate of other people’s feelings. She actually wants to have a relationship with someone else that’s not just about sex and gratification and domination.” Glimpses of the conversation Claire’d had with Margot before she came here popped into her head. They’d both admitted to being attracted to one another, and then they’d both admitted they were scared. Claire wanted so badly to ask Juliette for advice, but she figured she wasn’t done being punished—or tested—yet.

  “You hurt me, Claire,” Juliette said. “What you did really hurt me.”

  “I know.” Claire’s voice grew small.

  “I ran into her the other day. At the hospital.”

  “I know. Nadia told me.” Claire wished the coffee she was dr
inking had a little something extra in it.

  “Do you want to know the most ridiculous thing about that? What triggered the moment when I knew I had hit rock bottom?” Juliette’s voice shook. “I was so angry with the world and everyone—particularly you and Nadia—that I was thinking of sleeping with her. I thought I’d show you all by committing the ultimate act of vengeance. And then I ran into her and all I wanted to do was vomit violently. The sight of her made me sick to my stomach. I started vomiting expletives then.” Juliette chuckled lightly, then caught a tear rolling from the corner of her eye. “But can you believe I actually entertained the thought?”

  “You’ve been through a lot, Jules. What the doctor had just told you was a hell of a lot to process.”

  “But still… I mean, come on. I actually, for a few minutes, entertained the notion of having her seduce me too. How sick is that? What kind of a monster am I?”

  “You’re not a monster. We all have self-destructive thoughts like that. It’s human. It’s why they’re just thoughts, relegated to the confines of our mind.”

  “All I ever want to do is just control things.” Juliette shook her head. “You. Nadia. This whole baby thing. Did I really think that taking Nadia to visit my nieces a couple of times would entice her to have a child with me?” Juliette gently knocked a fist against her temple. “Sometimes… no, most of the time, I have no clue what’s going on in here. Because I’m too busy organizing everyone else’s lives and feelings.”

  “Jules.” Claire put her hands on the table, ready to grab one of Juliette’s with them. “You’re doing it again. You’re being too hard on yourself.”

  “You can’t deny I’m a control freak, though?”

  “No, but that’s not the point.”

  “How many times have we had a variation on this conversation? I get so tired of it.” Juliette caught another tear with her thumb. “I actually believed that having a baby would change that. That I needed a drastic change like that in my life. If anything, I should be glad I’m too over the hill and that my eggs have all but shriveled up. What kind of mother would I have been?”

  “I think you would have made a pretty awesome mother. I’m so sorry your dream won’t be coming true.”

  “Was it really my dream, though? Or just another something I needed to hold on to to get by?”

  “Jules, listen to me.” Claire wondered how many inspirational speeches she would have to deliver this week. Steph certainly looked like she could do with a Claire-speech as well. “Yes, we’re all different, and we all have our own hang-ups and flaws and things that we’re good at and all of that. But underneath it all, we’re all also just the same. We’re all just trying to make it in life. And sometimes, we’re fortunate enough to stumble upon a bout of happiness. But, most of all, we get by. We live our lives the best way we see fit. Mostly in search of another bout of happiness. It’s what keeps us going. And it’s why we have friends. To get us through the not-so-happy times.” Claire didn’t care anymore and grabbed hold of Juliette’s hand. “Listen to me, Jules. You are married to a kind-hearted, beautiful woman. You have a couple of, admittedly, rather flawed friends who would walk through fire for you. You have a job you enjoy. That’s a lot. A lot more than most people have.”

  Juliette glared at Claire’s hand on hers in a silence only broken by the sniveling noises she made. “I just really, really hate myself sometimes,” she said, and started crying again.

  “So do I, Jules. I’m sitting here across from you hating myself for what I’ve done to you. For how selfish I’ve been. For losing sight of what really matters. We all fuck up. If I had to sum up life in only four words, those would be my words: we all fuck up. But after we fall down, we get up again, and try to do better by ourselves and our loved ones. We forgive each other and move on.”

  “I haven’t forgiven you, you know…” A tiny smile broke through Juliette’s tears. “I know I will, because my life is pretty miserable without you, and I miss you, Claire. I fucking miss you. And now I’m not going to have a child… I need you. You’re my family.”

  “And you are mine.”

  Juliette left her one hand on the table, and dried her tears with her other. “So when are you going to start un-fucking up your life? Not sleeping with Dievart anymore is not going to cut it.”

  “Don’t worry, Jules. You’ll get your present soon enough.”

  “I don’t need a present. I already know you love me,” Jules said. “Margot on the other hand… well, she must know by now that you still love her.”

  “Why is everyone on my case about that? See, you’re doing it again. You’re trying to control me!”

  Juliette followed up with a grin. “I’m not controlling you. I’m just telling you what you perhaps can’t see for yourself.”

  “If you really want to know, Margot and I had a chat this morning. We actually admitted to each other that there are lingering feelings.”

  Juliette’s eyes grew wide for an instant. “Progress,” she said. “I like it.”

  “I’m scared to fuck up. Because you can only fuck up so many times with the same person.”

  “True enough. But she fucked up first. Then you forgave her—”

  “Correction. I thought I had forgiven her, because I wanted to so badly. But I hadn’t actually forgiven her.”

  “But you have now.” It wasn’t even a question anymore. Juliette knew, just as Claire knew.

  “I have.”

  “So, what’s the problem, then? Ask her out already.”

  “Ask her out? I basically live with her.” The thought of asking Margot out had, however, popped into Claire’s mind.

  “So, you live with her and you bought her a motorcycle, and it’s all totally platonic.” Juliette shook her head. She was getting the old Juliette feistiness back. “Take a piece of your own advice, Claire. Ask her out.”

  “Is that part of my test, as well?” Claire was still holding Juliette’s hand.

  “Damn right it is. Time to start actively searching for happier times again.”

  “Okay, fine. I will ask her. She’s working this weekend, though.”

  “Then prepare her a nice meal for when she gets home. No takeaway. Especially none of that dreadful Chinese food you got last time I was at your place.”

  “You didn’t even eat any of it.” Claire felt the tension leave her muscles. They were back. She had her friend back. Maybe not a hundred percent yet, but the opening had been made. She would seal the deal soon enough, after she’d talked to Nadia.

  “The friendship sauce you served with it was very curdled,” Juliette replied.

  Claire snickered. “I’m only human, Jules. Just like you.”

  STEPH

  Saturday was quickly becoming Steph’s favorite day of the week. But this week, especially, she was in dire need of an uplifting conversation with Marion. Dominique had not taken Steph’s absence at the debate well—even though she had slayed Goffin and the polls had risen in her favor once again. This election was now Dominique’s to lose. Only one more week, Steph told herself, as she headed towards Marion’s street. One more week and it will all be over—except it won’t be.

  “One more week,” she also said to Marion. “Well, two more, I guess. But at least she will have gotten rid of the ANF in the first round.”

  “I need to tell you something, Steph,” Marion said. “Before we begin this week’s session, I need you to know that Dominique called me.”

  “She did?” She certainly hadn’t said anything about that to Steph.

  “Yes. Ideally, she’d be here, but this close to the elections she doesn’t have time.”

  “I know.” Steph had asked her if she wanted to come, but had known the answer already. “It’s crunch time.”

  “She told me you stood her up at the debate and how she felt about that.”

  “She told me that as well. Let me see if I can remember the words she used: disappointed, deflated and… I can’t remember the third one,
but there was definitely a third one. It probably started with a D as well. Dominique likes her alliterations.”

  “She shouldn’t have called me to say these things about you. Please know that I don’t agree with that. But we are friends, and this whole arrangement isn’t exactly by the book, so, she did tell me. She sounded very upset.”

  “Why is she making such a big deal out of this?”

  “She’s nervous. As you just said, one more week. She has a lot of eyes on her. And a lot of expectations to carry on her shoulders.” Marion arranged her skirt. “Can I play devil’s advocate for a minute?”

  “Be my guest.” Steph was very annoyed by the fact that Dominique had called Marion to discuss her… her what? Her deplorable behavior. It was like a parent calling a school teacher to talk about their child’s acting up in class.

  “If this is all so hard on you. And you’re not even sure you want Dominique to win. Why do you stay with her?”

  “Jesus Christ.” Steph felt like walking right out of Marion’s lovely garden room. “Did she tell you to ask this?”

  “No. I am asking.”

  “Do you know what? At this very moment I can’t really come up with many good reasons to stay.” Agitation coiled into a ball in Steph’s stomach.

  “You must have asked yourself this question before.” Marion pushed her further.

  “No.” Agitation was quickly turning into fury. “I haven’t. For the first time in my life, I haven’t asked myself the question. Because it’s my go-to mode. Has been all my life. I never stay. It’s not what I do. But once I’d made the choice to stay with Dominique, that was always going to be a choice I stood by. I’m not going to run at the first sign of trouble. What kind of person would that make me?”