Ashes and Ice

by Tracie Peterson

  “Have you determined to divorce your husband and marry me?” Paxton asked without delay. He eyed Grace in the same cold, calculated manner as before.

  She could very nearly feel his hot breath upon her neck—his hands upon her body. Shuddering, she shook her head. Very softly, almost inaudibly, she replied, “If my husband wishes to put an end to our marriage, he will have to do so on his own. I will not divorce him. It is against my beliefs.”

  “I see.” Paxton reached into his pocket and produced a cigar. He toyed with it a moment, then pinched off the end and procured a match from his vest pocket. Striking the match, he lit the cigar, his gaze never leaving Grace. He puffed silently, staring at her as if deciding what to say next.

  Praying silently, Grace knew she had to stand up to Paxton. She wouldn’t tell him of her plans, but neither would she cower. God was on her side. There was nothing Paxton could do to further harm her.

  “I don’t believe you do see,” Grace said, straightening her shoulders a bit. “I am a married woman. I am very much in love with my husband, and in spite of your actions to harm him and his family, I will support him and help them through.”

  “I saw for myself that the youngest of the Colton clan stayed behind at your side. She’s a pretty woman.”

  “Leave Miranda out of this,” Grace said firmly. “If you have some sort of vendetta against me, then hear me now. I am not afraid of you. I have a source of strength and power that you cannot even begin to understand. You are lost and alone inside the pits of evil that you’ve dug for yourself.” Her chin raised ever so slightly, her confidence in God fueling her bravery. “You are not a threat to me, and I would thank you to give up this nonsense.”

  Paxton moved toward her. “Let me show you just how evil I can be.” He grinned at Karen and tossed the cigar onto the paper-strewn desk. “Funny how easily things catch fire up here.”

  Grace saw Karen’s face flush as she rushed to the desk to make certain the cigar caused no damage. Meanwhile, Paxton pressed toward Grace.

  “You belong to me, Grace. Your father gave you to me, and I intend to have you.”

  Karen looked up and opened her mouth. Grace could only presume she meant to call for Adrik Ivankov, but Grace decided on another course of action.

  “In the name of Jesus, I command you to leave me.”

  Paxton stopped and looked at her as if in disbelief. “I beg your pardon?”

  Karen moved toward the door shaking her head. “I’ll get Adrik.”

  Grace never faltered. She stood her ground, feeling a legion of angels as her protectors. “In the name of Jesus, I command you to leave me.”

  “Do you really expect that nonsense to mean anything to me?” Paxton questioned.

  Karen stopped, seeming to forget about Adrik. She watched Grace with as much intensity as Paxton, but Grace could not give her attention to her friend.

  “Jesus gave His children authority over the devil. And while you may not exactly be the devil himself, you are about his work. Therefore, I command you, out in the name of Jesus.”

  Paxton’s expression changed to one Grace had never witnessed. Confusion. He looked at her and seemed to lean forward as though he might still advance, but his feet seemed nailed to the floor.

  “Your faith and your God mean nothing to me,” he said. He growled as if fighting some unseen assailant. His hands were raised as if to take hold of her or at least strike her, but he made no move to complete such tasks.

  Grace felt awash with peace. There was no fear. It was as if all of heaven battled for her and she had only to stand and await the outcome. The faithfulness of God had been proven over and over to her, but never so dearly as in that moment.

  “You’re going to regret this,” Paxton said. “You think you’ve already paid for trying to dupe me, but I’ve got news for you. This isn’t over. It’s just begun. You haven’t yet tasted my wrath.”

  “Nor will I,” Grace said, putting her hands to her hips. “I am no threat to you, Mr. Paxton. I have no interest in you and no desire for anything you might offer. I ran from you twice, taking matters into my own hands. I’m not running anymore. I’m standing here face-to-face with you. I’m here to tell you that my God is more powerful than you could ever imagine. I’m here to tell you that you have no power over me—no rights whatsoever to me. You have only accomplished what you have thus far because God has allowed it and my own hand has often even encouraged it. Well, that is done.”

  “None of this is done,” Paxton said, his eyes narrowing. “It isn’t done until I say it is done.”

  Grace said nothing more. There was no need. She could see that she’d shaken the man. He didn’t understand this new manner of business, but Grace did. Grace remembered a sermon she’d heard not but a month ago. A sermon that talked of how God’s children need not live in fear. That Satan was the one responsible for stirring fear and worry through his lies and doubts, and that God’s children had power they’d never even begun to tap into. Well, she was staking her claim on that power here and now. She had to. For her sake and for Peter’s, not to mention their unborn child.

  Walking past Paxton without fear, Grace turned at the door. “Mr. Paxton, if you would spend half as much time in pursuing God as you have pursuing me, you would understand where my strength comes from.”

  She left him standing there, eyes burning and jaw fixed. His surprise was no less evident, however, than Karen’s. Her friend stood with mouth agape, eyes wide and full of wonder. Grace knew Karen had been struggling with God’s sovereignty and love. She could only hope that this demonstration of God’s power to keep evil at bay would help to strengthen Karen’s walk of faith.

  Karen watched in disbelief as Martin Paxton stormed from the hotel. She followed him in silence to the open front door and watched as he joined in with the throngs of lost souls who headed to the gambling halls and saloons.

  Quietly she closed the door and looked up the steps as if expecting Grace to still be standing there. She’d never witnessed anything such as what Grace had just done. The confidence and power that seemed to exude from her friend were impressive, to say the least. Where had she acquired such faith? To face evil, not but a few feet away, and refuse to back down because of the power of God—it was inspiring.

  Shaking, Karen hugged her arms to her body and shook her head. It was nothing short of miraculous. Miraculous . . . and perhaps even terrifying.

  —[CHAPTER SEVENTEEN]—

  THROUGHOUT THE WINTER of 1897–98, Karen had understood why Skagway and the surrounding area was called what it was. Coming from a Tlingit word that meant “people of the north wind,” Skagway bore the brunt of the chilled arctic air that bore down on the coast from the northern mountains. Dyea was no different. Now, however, with summer upon them, the reverse was true. Winds coursed in from the coast and rushed through the valleys and canyons toward the mountains.

  This often made travel up the Chilkoot Trail very difficult. Karen tried not to think about the trials and tribulations and focused instead on Jacob and the land itself. Adrik gave her botany lessons, increasing her understanding of the land and the people who dwelt there.

  Determined to carry her share, Karen had allowed Adrik to decide how much she should carry. He had fixed her with a twenty-pound pack, advising her that once she grew used to this, they could increase the weight. She adjusted well at first. She even thought him silly to have given her so little. But by the end of the first day, Karen was grateful for Adrik’s wisdom. After a long day twenty pounds felt more like two hundred pounds.

  Casting her load aside, Karen dropped wearily to the ground and sought the support of a nearby spruce. With its heavy branches towering above her, Karen leaned back to look toward the sky. How long had they been at this? How long would they journey until they found Jacob, Bill, or the promised land of the Yukon?

  Day after day it was the same. They trudged through muck and mud, forded streams and rivers, and bedded down at night to the restless
sounds of the coastal rain forest.

  “When do you think we might find Jacob?” Leah asked after they’d been on the trail for nearly a week.

  Karen shrugged. “With your brother’s determination, that would be hard to say. He was bound and determined to get north before too much time passed. He has a two-month lead on us, and up here timing is everything.”

  “She’s right, you know,” Adrik told Leah. He threw more wood on the fire, then sat down on the ground beside them. “Jacob’s probably already in Whitehorse, knowing him.”

  “Where is that?” Leah asked, her face lit up in eager anticipation. She had talked of little but Jacob since they’d begun the trip.

  “Whitehorse is over the mountains and farther north. Remember the map?” Leah nodded. “It’s north past Lakes Lindeman and Bennett, Taggish and Marsh,” Adrik said, stretching his hands out to the fire. “You’ll get your fill of it all traveling by boat, that’s for sure.”

  Yawning, Leah stated she was on her way to her tent, where Grace and Miranda were already bedding down for the night. She first turned and looked to Adrik and Karen for hope. “You do think we’ll find him, don’t you?”

  “You mean Jacob?” Karen asked. She couldn’t really say why, but she felt that Leah had begun to give up thoughts of finding her father. Maybe it was easier for the child to think of him as gone and deal with the loss, just in case it was true. Karen smiled at Leah’s hesitant nod.

  “I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t believe we could find him,” Karen replied. She sincerely hoped she wasn’t giving the child false encouragement.

  The chill of the evening made Karen forget that it was already the first week in June. She shivered and decided it might be just as well to turn in with the rest. Even the packers were bedding down for the night. In fact, Dyea Joe and his sturdy little wife, Merry, had long since made their way to bed.

  She thought it even more sensible to leave when Adrik scooted closer and put his arm around her. Her instincts suggested she flee, but her heart bade her stay.

  “The nights are unpredictable,” he murmured.

  She turned, her face only inches from his. More than a little aware of the intense way in which he regarded her, Karen nodded. “I’m sure they aren’t the only unpredictable thing up here.”

  Adrik smiled in that roguish way she’d come to love. He raised his brows and leaned closer. “Being unpredictable only adds to the adventure. But, on the other hand, if you learn to watch for the signs, you’ll come out just fine.”

  “The signs, eh?” Karen said, unable to look away. She wasn’t sure at this point if she could have willed herself to look elsewhere under any circumstances.

  Adrik ran his hand up her arm before giving her shoulder a squeeze. “I’ve lived up here all my life, you know. Maybe not right here, but close enough. You’d do well to stick close to me. I can teach you things.”

  “What kind of things?”

  His smile broadened. “All sorts of things.”

  Karen lost herself momentarily in eyes dark as the coffee they’d shared at supper. She trembled, but this time it wasn’t from the cold. She jumped to her feet, uncertain as to whether she’d imagined his mouth moving closer to hers.

  “I think I should join Leah and the others.”

  He looked up at her and shrugged. “Guess you have to do what you have to do.”

  Karen had half expected him to try to convince her to stay a while longer. When he didn’t, she couldn’t help but be disappointed. “All right, then,” she said, still not entirely convinced of her mission. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

  “All right,” he murmured and stretched out on his side before the fire.

  She looked down at him and saw the amusement in his expression. He knew how she felt. He knew she wanted to stay, but he wasn’t going to ask her. Frustrated, Karen turned sharply on her heel, causing her shortened skirt to flair.

  “Nice ankles,” Adrik called. “Been meanin’ to tell you that all day.”

  Karen felt her face grow hot. If she turned around now, she knew she’d find some excuse to stay. Stay true to the mission, she told herself. Go to bed with the others and sleep off this silly infatuation. Tomorrow things will seem a whole lot different.

  She reached for the tent flap just as she heard Grace pose a question to Miranda.

  “Will you do that with me? We could get up before the others and pray for Peter and even Mr. Paxton. We could pray for your folks and my mother. Not to mention the trip and our safety.”

  “I think that would be wonderful,” Miranda replied. “Of course I’ll pray with you.”

  “I thought you would. I know Karen isn’t feeling too interested in such things. We should also pray for her. She’s been deeply wounded. I know exactly how she feels. Sometimes it’s hard to accept that God’s ways are not always our own. I haven’t always liked how things turn out, believe me. Mr. Paxton has been nothing but a thorn in my side, but I am willing to trust that God’s Word is true. I will pray for my enemy, and I will pray for my husband.”

  “I’m glad you haven’t lumped them together,” Miranda replied.

  A deep sensation of loneliness flooded Karen. She had been replaced by Miranda in Grace’s life. Grace had demonstrated such strength of character in dealing with Mr. Paxton and others around her that Karen felt almost like a student—she was no longer the teacher and mentor.

  She couldn’t help but remember the stand Grace had taken with Paxton back in Dyea. She wasn’t afraid of the man in any way. She had simply taken a stand on her faith in God.

  Have I only been playing a role? Karen wondered silently. She had been raised in a loving Christian home and had never known a day when God wasn’t revered and honored. She had prayed almost before she’d learned any other form of communication. Had it all been for naught?

  Grace has something I want, she thought. She has a grasp of God that I cannot seem to take hold of. Yet I’m the one who taught her. I’m the one who brought her into an understanding of faith in Jesus. How can it be that she has grown so far beyond me?

  Miranda and Grace’s words had ceased, and Karen could only suppose they’d concluded their discussion. She entered the tent, grateful for the dim lantern light. It had been very thoughtful of them to leave it turned up so that she could see.

  Karen prepared for bed quickly. The choices were limited and desiring to stay as warm as possible, she wasn’t about to worry about bathing or other notions. She turned down the lamp until the flame went out, then made her way to her pallet. Slipping into her sleeping bag, compliments of the latest shipment from Sears Roebuck, Karen snuggled down, relishing the feel of the sheep’s wool against her cold cheeks. The contraption had cost her thirteen dollars, an outrageous sum, but Adrik had thought it a worthwhile purchase. He’d reminded her that the product would eliminate the need to bring so many separate pieces of bedding. With that in mind, she’d purchased a bag for both herself and Leah. By the time Grace and Miranda had decided to join them, however, the bags were completely sold out.

  But Adrik was ever to the rescue. He had procured heavy wool blankets and promised they’d work just as well. Karen prayed it was so. The nights could still be quite cold, as tonight was.

  “Karen?” Grace’s whisper came through the silence of the night.

  Surprised, but pleasantly so, Karen turned onto her side so that she might not disturb Leah, who slept behind her. “Yes?”

  “Thank you for inviting me to come along. I don’t know what I would have done without you. The months away from you were . . . well . . . I missed you greatly. Miranda is a dear sister to me, but you were like a mother. I needed you then, just as I need you now. I just wanted you to know how very much I love you and thank God for you.”

  Karen felt engulfed in her friend’s love. She felt a lump in her throat constrict her words. “That means so much,” she barely whispered.

  Karen reached across the distance between them in the darkness. She touched G
race’s shoulder and followed the contour of her arm down to her hand. There, Karen clasped their hands together.

  “Grace, I want to pray with you and Miranda. I know I haven’t worked through all my feelings yet, but I know that prayer is where I must begin. I need help, however. Would you and Miranda stand by me?”

  “But of course,” Grace whispered as if there had never been any doubt of Karen’s decision.

  Karen felt Grace tighten her hold. Without meaning to bring up the past, Karen said, “I see he never bought you a ring.”

  “No, he never did,” Grace replied.

  “I’m sorry, Grace. I’m sorry things have been so bad. I’m sorry Peter is so angry, and I’m sorry I helped to fuel that anger.”

  “Mr. Paxton has a way of bringing out the worst in all of us,” Grace murmured. “It should be no different for you or Peter.”

  “He brought out the best in you,” Karen replied. “I still have the vision of you standing up to him in defiance. It reminded me of David and Goliath.”

  “Me too. I kept thinking of David’s declaration. ‘Thou comest to me with a sword, and with a spear, and with a shield: but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts. . . .’ I felt the strength soar through me and imagined what David must have felt being in the presence of God’s mighty protection and power.”

  Karen breathed a sigh and knew that God had given her that display of power as much as he had Mr. Paxton. He wanted her to know He was still God and He understood her pain and suffering. He wanted her to know that He had not forsaken them nor handed them over to the wicked—to Paxton.

  “Good night, Grace,” Karen said, giving her friend’s hand another squeeze before pulling back to snuggle back down into her bag. “You are truly the image of your name, and I thank God for the honor of calling you friend.”

  ————

  The next morning Adrik was surprised to find Joe hunched over the campfire, talking to a long forgotten friend.