Ashes and Ice

by Tracie Peterson

  Crispin helped her navigate the slide, and before she knew it, Miranda was once again on the path. Contemplating the vast wilderness around her, she thought it most magnificent. Deadly, but nevertheless marvelous. Crispin Thibault was marvelous, as well. How wonderful that he would risk his life to save mine. What more could any woman hope of a man? Thinking such thoughts, Miranda began to see Crispin in a new light. Perhaps Peter would approve of such a man for her. That was, if they ever saw Peter again.

  Her brother’s disappearance had gravely worried her. Not so much for herself or even her parents, but mostly for Grace. She knew Grace was strong and full of faith in God, but the poor woman was battling her worry within herself daily and had grown quite distant. Aside from their morning ritual of praying for the men in their lives, Grace had withdrawn and kept to herself more and more.

  Or perhaps I have drawn myself away to spend more time near Mr. Thibault, Miranda thought guiltily. But when Crispin turned on the trail and smiled warmly at her, Miranda lost all thoughts of guilt.

  ————

  By nightfall they were settled in Sheep Camp. Grace had gone to bed very early, only minutes after a supper of rice, dried ham, and a yellow cake that Leah proudly announced as her own creation.

  Adrik had walked Karen and Miranda to a place where he knew they could get hot baths for fifty cents. The Hotel Woodlawn stood just a few feet from the River Taiya, and because of this, they had set up a bathhouse behind their establishment. They’d even found a Tlingit woman who could cut hair in a decent fashion. Adrik had used her on many occasions to keep his hair from growing past his collar. Tonight, he allowed her to shave the stubble of beard from his face and trim his hair, as well. He was just splashing on tonic water when he heard Karen and Miranda approaching.

  He tossed the woman four bits and jumped up from the chair to join his party. He wasn’t prepared for the sight that met his eyes. Neither woman had bothered to bind up her hair, and, with the hotel’s towels in hand, they were still blotting the water from their heads while carrying on an animated conversation in the cool night air.

  “You’ll catch your death like that,” Adrik teased, but inside his heart was racing like a sled dog on the homeward stretch.

  Karen looked up, and in the glow of firelight and lanterns, her eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement. Adrik figured she knew the effect she had on him. He also suspected she was rather pleased with the power she held. But when she handed him her brush, he concluded that she was meanspirited and cruel.

  “Here, you brush my hair out while I brush Miranda’s.”

  He took the brush and his hand trembled. Miranda turned obediently as Karen took the younger woman’s brush and began the process of untangling the lengths.

  For a moment, all Adrik could do was stare at the wavy mass. He’d wondered—in fact, he’d wondered quite a bit of late—how she might look with her hair down and all soft around her shoulders. This wasn’t quite the picture he had in mind, but it would do. He brought the brush to her hair and gently, almost fearfully, began to brush it.

  He could smell the sweetness of lavender soap, something Karen had no doubt brought for herself. His hand shook as though the temperature had dropped below freezing. He reached to touch Karen’s shoulder to steady himself and felt her trembling, as well.

  “It’s cold out here,” he said abruptly. “Let’s get back to camp.”

  Karen turned to face him, and he could see that the moment had affected her as much as it had him. “I think that would be wise,” she murmured.

  ————

  The next few days were devoted to moving their provisions up to the Scales. Adrik felt it unnecessary to move the women away from the safety and provision of town, so he and the other men headed out before dawn every morning and moved the tons of provisions at a steady pace that left them exhausted by nightfall. To their credit they were making remarkable time.

  Karen spent her days searching through the small town, desperate to find any news of Jacob and Bill Barringer. Leah went with her faithfully, refusing to be left behind, determined to be with Karen when she learned the truth.

  They finally got word on the third day. Having searched through all the hotels and stores, Karen finally broke down and began asking in the saloons. It was at the Big Tent Saloon that a burly man, who acted as both owner and bartender, remembered having given Jacob a job cleaning.

  “He was here for about three weeks,” the man said. Standing behind a makeshift bar that consisted of a plank board set atop two whiskey barrels, the man seemed less than inclined to offer more.

  “Do you know if he continued north?”

  The man wiped out a glass, spit in it, and wiped it again. “Don’t guess he’d go south. He was workin’ to buy provisions. Worked here cleaning every morning.” The man set aside the glass and picked up another. His idea of hygiene left Karen less than eager to visit any of the area establishments.

  “Do you know if he teamed up with someone? Do you know when he left Sheep Camp?”

  The man shook his head. “Don’t keep track of everybody that goes through. He came to me for a job and I gave him one. He worked over at the drugstore during the day—you could ask there. They might be inclined to tell you more.”

  Karen nodded and thanked the man before pulling Leah with her to the muddy street. “Did you hear that? He’s actually seen Jacob!”

  Leah nodded. “Can we go to the drugstore and ask them, too?”

  Karen felt a ray of hope for the first time in weeks. “Yes. Let’s hurry. Maybe they know more.”

  But the drugstore proved to be no help at all. The ownership had changed, and the man knew nothing of Jacob or his whereabouts. Dejected by this, the two tried to take heart that at least they’d heard something about Jacob.

  “Well, we know he’s alive and headed north,” Karen said, trying to encourage Leah.

  “Yeah, but nobody remembers Pa.” She looked beyond Karen to the mountains that rose up to the north. “I don’t think he’s alive, Karen.” She shook her head and met the older woman’s eyes. “I think my pa is dead, and the sooner we accept that, the better off we’ll be.”

  “You can’t be sure,” Karen said, not wanting the girl to feel too hopeless or depressed.

  As if understanding, Leah pushed back her braids and pulled her bonnet into place. “I talked to God about it, Karen. I’m going to be all right, even if Pa and Jacob are both gone. God’s given me a special promise.”

  Karen looked at the girl, who suddenly seemed years beyond thirteen. “And what promise was that, Leah?”

  The girl lifted her face with an expression of peace and contentment. “God promised He was all the Father I’d ever need and that He’d see me through this.”

  Karen thought about Leah’s words all the way back to camp. The child radiated contentment, and Karen knew that it was this very substance that she herself so desperately sought.

  God, she prayed in the silence of her heart, out of the mouths of babes come your wisdom and words. May I know the contentment she knows. May I trust the way she trusts.

  “There you are!” Adrik called out as he strode out to meet Karen and Leah. “We’re packing it up and moving up to the Scales.”

  “Already?” Karen said, looking to where the men were already tearing down the tents. Grace and Miranda were working silently to ready their packs.

  “We’ve made good time,” Adrik said enthusiastically. “We’re making good time still. We’ve got extra help at the Scales—more men. Our things are already being packed up the mountain.”

  Karen thrilled to the news and yet dreaded it. The summit seemed like the first hurdle in their path of obstacles, a monster that would stand in their way to deny them their dream.

  She had heard many men say that this climb was by far the worst. In winter they climbed the ice staircase, man after man, one after the other. The row of men and women that moved up and over the pass could be seen from far below as a black, inchi
ng line that never ended. But in summer, things were done much differently. The path lost its staircase, and a treacherous mountainside of boulders and shifting rock became their adversary. There was nothing easy about climbing the Chilkoot Pass.

  “We found someone in town who knew Jacob. He said Jacob moved on after working here for several weeks. Perhaps he isn’t so very far ahead of us after all,” Karen said, looking to Adrik for encouragement. “Maybe he even got held up at the Scales or at the summit. If he didn’t have the tariff money, they surely wouldn’t let him pass, would they?”

  Adrik shook his head. “I don’t think they would, but you need to remember, he may have teamed up with a group. It’s always best that way. Someone else might well have been able to foot the expenses for tariffs and such but lacked Jacob’s muscle to move their goods.”

  Karen nodded, feeling rather discouraged. She looked at Leah as she helped Grace pack up the kitchen equipment. “Oh, Adrik, I just want to find him. I want to be up and over the mountain and safely on our way with the worst of it behind us.”

  “Well, the summit is a bad climb, that’s for sure, but this won’t be the last of our woes by a long shot.” He looked to her with such a serious expression that Karen couldn’t help but grow worried.

  “You don’t think we’ll make it, do you?”

  “I wouldn’t have brought you this far if I didn’t believe you could make it,” he replied softly. “It won’t be easy, though. You have to understand that much. You have to be realistic about it.”

  Karen laughed almost bitterly. “Was it realistic to make this trip to begin with?”

  “You’ve got a point. You givin’ up?”

  Karen looked at everyone working so willingly and quickly to break camp. They were in this together, each one with their reasons and needs.

  “No, I’m not giving up,” she finally murmured. “That mountain isn’t going to best me.” She looked up to see Adrik’s expression of approval. “I’ll give the mountain a run for its money, just see if I don’t.”

  Adrik guffawed loudly, causing everyone to stop and look. Calming, he turned to go, then looked back at Karen. “I believe you will, Miss Pierce. I believe you will.”

  —[CHAPTER NINETEEN]—

  KAREN STARED in disbelief at the climb to be made. The mountain rose up at a forty-five-degree angle to a summit that was lost in the clouds. It looked as though they very well might be climbing all the way to heaven. Thankful she’d only have to climb it once, instead of the multiple times the men had endured over the past weeks, Karen steadied her nerves.

  “It’s only about two and half miles from this point,” Adrik told them in his authoritative way. “But it’s gonna feel like it’s at least two hundred miles once you’re climbing.

  “I don’t want any of the women wearing packs. We’ll get your things added to our own or send them up with the packers. In the meanwhile, we’re going to pair up. Joe will take Grace, Sakatook will see to Leah, Crispin to Miranda, and I’ll lead Karen.”

  Karen knew exactly who’d been in charge of figuring out the pairing. Miranda seemed content enough and nodded enthusiastically. Only Grace and Leah remained perfectly silent. They continued to cast skeptical looks up the mountainside.

  “This isn’t going to be easy,” Adrik continued. “In fact, I think it’s a whole lot easier in winter with the packed down snow making a pretty smooth trail. But we don’t have that now. Wear your heaviest boots, as the rocks are sharp enough to cut right into them, and don’t forget to take your canteens. Water is mighty important up here, and in spite of there being plenty of rivers and lakes, you’ll do well to keep a canteen close at hand.”

  “How long will it take to climb up there?” Leah questioned.

  “That depends on several things,” Adrik answered. “The weather, the land, the folks around us, and each of you. We’ll stop to rest from time to time—there’s no sense havin’ anyone collapse on the trail. If you need to stop sooner, just give a holler.”

  The sun warmed them generously despite growing cloud coverage to the south. After an hour on the trail, Karen paused to ease out of her jacket. The well-worn white shirtwaist that she wore underneath had seen better days. Nevertheless, it was no different than everyone else around her. She had no reason to worry or fret over her wardrobe. The Chilkoot Trail was a far cry from the ballrooms of Chicago’s finer homes. Not that she’d ever spent much time upon those dance floors herself, but she’d certainly dressed Grace for enough parties.

  Glancing down the mountain to where Joe carefully assisted Grace, Karen couldn’t help but wonder about her friend. She spoke very little about Peter and their separation, though they prayed faithfully every morning for him, along with their party of travelers, the packers, the stampeders, and even Mr. Paxton. Karen, however, seldom allowed herself to truly pray for the latter.

  Otherwise, Grace had become progressively more silent. She helped with the camp and almost immediately after every evening meal, would make her way off to where she could clean up in private, then took herself to bed.

  “You coming?” Adrik asked, breaking through her worried thoughts.

  Karen nodded. “Can’t stop now, I guess.” She wrapped her jacket around the top of the walking stick Adrik had made for her before continuing up the rocky slope.

  She’d scarcely taken three steps, however, when her foot hit a shelf of loose gravel. Instantly she started to slide backward. Her balance was hopelessly lost, and for a moment, Karen envisioned herself falling all the way down the mountain. But before that could happen, Adrik’s powerful grip held her fast. He looked at her as if her slip hadn’t surprised him in the least.

  “You’ve got to keep your eyes on the trail,” he admonished. “Otherwise, you’ll end up buried alongside it.”

  “Sorry,” Karen muttered, embarrassed by the entire matter. She had just boasted to Adrik that very morning that she could manage no matter the route. Pride had nearly taken its toll.

  An hour later, Karen was hurriedly pulling her jacket back on and wishing fervently that she’d not wrapped her coat up with her sleeping bag. The day had been so fair at the Scales, but now heavy clouds moved in, and based on her experience with her first winter, Karen felt almost certain they would see snow.

  “Um . . . Adrik,” she began hesitantly, “does it snow in July?”

  “It can snow up here any time of the year. See those white patches up the way?” he questioned. “That’s winter left over.”

  The wind whipped at her skirts, making Karen glad for the woolen trousers she’d fashioned to wear beneath. “Is it going to snow today?” She looked to Adrik’s eyes for the truth of the matter.

  He reached out a hand and pulled her up to the rock on which he stood. “It just might. But I hope we’ll be to the top by then. Worried?”

  Karen couldn’t help but nod. “I can’t lie and say I’m not. I’ve never known two miles to take such a long time. Then again, I’ve never had such obstacles to endure.”

  “If we keep pressing forward,” Adrik said in an assuring tone, “we’ll be there before suppertime.”

  Karen allowed him to keep hold of her hand as they maneuvered over the rocks. “What was it like here in the winter?” Her breath came in quick pants as she fought against the altitude and the angle of the mountain.

  She tried to imagine the stairs cut out of ice. It was called the Golden Stairway by some of the locals. The name had spread, she’d heard from Grace, all the way to California.

  “Cold,” Adrik said, grinning. “They sometimes get as much as thirty feet of snow up here.”

  “Thirty feet? Surely you jest.”

  “Not at all. It’s a severe land with a temperament like a feisty woman.”

  “My mother wrote once saying it played the part of inhospitable neighbor. Cold and difficult.”

  “I can imagine her saying that,” Adrik answered, resting for a moment against a rock.

  Karen knew he was stopping to allow her to
catch her breath again. It seemed she could only take ten or twelve steps without becoming completely winded. Settling on the rock beside him, she noticed the lichen and moss that clung to the crevices of the great boulder. How could anything survive being buried under thirty feet of snow?

  “It can drop to fifty below in a matter of hours,” Adrik said, gazing off across the valley. “But it’s really not a bad land. You simply have to respect the dangers that surround you. Just like handling feisty women.” He grinned at her and winked.

  Karen knew the reference was intended for her. She ignored his teasing. “Would it have been this bad in April?” She was thinking of Jacob again.

  “It was bad enough,” Adrik answered, reaching out to steady her as they began to climb again, this time over a rather precarious place in the trail where the rock was loose and offered no secure hold on the trail. He swung her up and over some particularly jagged rocks, bringing her back to the ground directly in front of him.

  She faced him momentarily, her face lifted to his. My, but he was handsome with the wind reddening his cheeks and his dark eyes glowing. He searched her face as if seeking an answer to an unspoken question. Karen knew she might have told him most anything had he asked, for her mind and heart were so completely swept up in the moment. She thought he might have kissed her, thought she might have liked it, but Leah’s laughter rang out and Karen looked away.

  Crispin and Miranda walked along behind Leah and Sakatook. Crispin was regaling them with some tale or another, and Leah thought it all good fun. “Sounds like they’re out for an afternoon picnic instead of the climb of their life,” Karen said, smiling. It was good to hear Leah so happy. She was glad Crispin had joined them, if only because he made Leah laugh.

  “Come on,” Adrik said, letting go of her. “We’re going to be there before you know it. Then we’ll all sit and laugh and share a meal.”