Complete Works of Thomas Love Peacock

by Thomas Love Peacock

  Virginio. Was my son ill-treated?

  Messer Piero. No, certainly; they treated him like a gentleman. We received no answers to our letters.

  Virginio. Go on.

  Messer Piero. Now, being conducted with the Spanish camp to Corregia, this captain was killed, and the Court took his property, and set us at liberty.

  Virginio. And where is my son?

  Messer Piero. Nearer than you suppose.

  Virginio. In Modena?

  Messer Piero. At the hotel of the Fool.

  Gherardo. The thousand florins are gone; but it suffices to have her. I am rich enough without them.

  Virginio. I die with impatience to embrace him. Come, master.

  Messer Piero. But what of Lelia?

  Virginio. She has grown into a fine young woman. Has my son advanced in learning?

  Messer Piero. He has not lost his time, ut limit per tot casus, per tot discrimina rerum.

  Virginia. Call him out. Say nothing to him. Let me see if he will know me.

  Messer Piero. He went out a little while since. I will see if he has returned.

  Scene III.

  VIRGINIO, GHERARDO, MESSER PIERO, and STRAGUALCIA, afterwards FRUELLA.

  Messer Piero. Stragualcia, oh! Stragualcia, has Fabrizio returned?

  Stragualcia. Not yet.

  Messer Piero. Come here. Speak to your old master. This is Signor Virginio.

  Stragualcia. Has your anger passed away?

  Messer Piero. You know I am never long angry with you.

  Stragualcia. All’s well, then. Is this our master’s father!

  Messer Piero. It is.

  Stragualcia. Oh! worthy master. You are just found in time to pay our bill at the Fool.

  Messer Piero. This has been a good servant to your son.

  Stragualcia. Has been only?

  Messer Piero. And still is.

  Virginia. I shall take care of all who have been faithful companions to my son.

  Stragualcia. You can take care of me with little trouble.

  Virginia. Demand.

  Stragualcia. Settle me as a waiter with this host, who is the best companion in the world, the best provided, the most knowing, one that better understands the necessities of a foreign guest than any host I have ever seen. For my part, I do not think there is any other paradise on earth.

  Gherardo. He has a reputation for treating well.

  Virginia. Have you breakfasted?

  Stragualcia. A little.

  Virginio. What have you eaten?

  Stragualcia. A brace of partridges, six thrushes, a capon, a little veal, with only two jugs of wine.

  Virginia. Fruella, give him whatever he wants, and leave the payment to me.

  Stragualcia. Fruella, first bring a little wine for these gentlemen.

  Messer Piero. They do not need it.

  Stragualcia. They will not refuse. You must drink too, Master.

  Messer Piero. To make peace with you, I am content.

  Stragualcia. Signor Virginio, you have reason to thank the Master, who loves your son better than his own eyes.

  Virginia. Heaven be bountiful to him.

  Stragualcia. It concerns you first, and heaven after. Drink, gentlemen.

  Gherardo. Not now.

  Stragualcia. Pray then, go in till Fabrizio returns. And let us sup here this evening.

  Gherardo. I must leave you for a while. I have some business at home.

  Virginio. Take care that Lelia does not get away.

  Gherardo. This is what I am going for.

  Virginio. She is yours. I give her to you. Arrange the matter to your mind.

  Scene IV. — The Street, with the house of VIRGINIO.

  GHERARDO, LELIA, and CLEMENTIA.

  Gherardo. One cannot have all things one’s own way. Patience. But how is this? Here is Lelia. That careless Pasquella has let her escape.

  Lelia. Does it not appear to you, Clementia, that Fortune makes me her sport?

  Clementia. Be of good cheer. I will find some means to content you. But come in, and change your dress. You must not be seen so.

  Gherardo. I will salute her, however, and understand how she has got out. Good day to you, Lelia, my sweet spouse. Who opened the door to you? Pasquella, eh? l am glad you have gone to your nurse’s house; but your being seen in this dress does little honour to you or to me.

  Lelia. To whom are you speaking? What Lelia? I am not Lelia.

  Gherardo. Oh! a little while ago, when your father and I locked you up with my daughter Isabella, did you not confess that you were Lelia? And now, you think I do not know you. Go, my dear wife, and change your dress.

  Lelia. God send you as much of a wife, as I have fancy for you as a husband. [Goes in.

  Clementia. Go home, Gherardo. All women have their child’s play, some in one way, some in another. This is a very innocent one. Still these little amusements are not to be talked of Gherardo. No one shall know it from me. But how did she escape from my house, where I had locked her up with Isabella?

  Clementia. Locked up whom?

  Gherardo. Lelia; this Lelia.

  Clementia. You are mistaken. She has not parted from me to-day; and for pastime she put on these clothes, as girls will do, and asked me if she did not look well in them?

  Gherardo. You want to make me see double. I tell you I locked her up with Isabella.

  Clementia. Whence come you now?

  Gherardo. From the hotel of the Fool. Clementia. Did you drink? Gherardo. A little.

  Clementia. Now go to bed, and sleep it off.

  Gherardo. Let me see Lelia for a moment before I go, that I may give her a piece of good news. Clementia. What news?

  Gherardo. Her brother has returned safe and sound, and her father is waiting for him at the hotel. Clementia. Fabrizio? Gherardo. Fabrizio. Clementia. I hasten to tell her.

  Gherardo. And I to blow up Pasquella, for letting her escape.

  Scene V. — The Street, with the hotels and the home of GHERARDO.

  PASQUELLA, alone.

  Pasquella, who had only known Lelia as Fabio, and did not know what the two old men had meant, by calling the supposed Lelia, whom they had delivered to her charge, a girl, has nevertheless obeyed orders, in locking up Fabrizio with Isabella, and now, in an untranslatable soliloquy, narrates that the two captives had contracted matrimony by their own ritual.

  Scene VI.

  PASQUELLA and GIGLIO.

  Pasquella, seeing Giglio coming, retires within the courtyard, through the grated door of which the dialogue is carried on. Giglio wishes to obtain admission to Gherardo’s house, without giving Pasquella the rosary he had promised her. He shows it to her, and withholds giving it, on pretence that it wants repairs. She, on the other hand, wishes to get the- rosary, and give him nothing in return. She pretends to doubt if it is a true rosary, and prevails on him to let her count the heads. She then cries out, that the fowls are loose, and that she cannot open the door till she has got them in. Giglio declares that he sees no fowls; that she is imposing on him. She laughs at him: he expostulates, implores, threatens to break down the door, to set fire to the house, to burn everything in it, herself included. In the midst of his wrath, he sees Gherardo approaching, and runs away.

  Scene VII.

  PASQUELLA and GHERARDO.

  Gherardo. What were you doing at the gate, with that Spaniard?

  Pasquella. He was making a great noise about a rosary. I could not make out what he wanted.

  Gherardo. Oh! you have executed your trust well. I could find in my heart to break your bones.

  Pasquella. For what?

  Gherardo. Because you have let Lelia escape. I told you to keep her locked in.

  Pasquella. She is locked in.

  Gherardo. I admire your impudence. She is not.

  Pasquella. I say she is.

  Gherardo. I have just left her with her nurse dementia.

  Pasquella. And I have just left her, where you ordered her to be kept
.

  Gherardo. Perhaps she came back before me.

  Pasquella. She never went away. The chamber has been kept locked.

  Gherardo. Where is the key?

  Pasquella. Here it is.

  Gherardo. Give it me. If she is not there you shall pay for it.

  Pasquella. And if she is there will you pay for it?

  Gherardo. I will. You shall have a handsome present.

  Scene VIII.

  PASQUELLA, FLAMINIO; afterwards GHERARDO.

  Flaminio. Pasquella, how long is it since my Fabio was here?

  Pasquella. Why?

  Flaminio. Because he is a traitor, and I will punish him; and because Isabella has left me for him. Fine honour to a lady of her position, to fall in love with a pape.

  Pasquella. Oh, do not say so. All the favours she has shown him are only for love of you.

  Flaminio. Tell her she will repent; and as for him, I carry this dagger for him.

  Pasquella. While the dog barks, the wolf feeds.

  Flaminio. You will see. [Exit.

  Gherardo. Oh me! to what have I come! oh traitor, Virginio! oh heaven! what shall I do?

  Pasquella. What is the matter, master?

  Gherardo. What is he that is with my daughter?

  Pasquella. He? Why, you told me it was Virginio’s daughter.

  Gherardo has discovered the clandestine marriage, and gives vent to his rage in untranslatable terms.

  Scene IX.

  GHERARDO, VIRGINIO, and MESSER PIERO.

  Messer Piero. I wonder he has not returned to the hotel. I do not know what to think of it.

  Gherardo. Ho! ho! Virginio! this is a pretty outrage that you have put on me. Do you think I shall submit to it?

  Virginio. What are you roaring about?

  Gherardo. Do you take me for a sheep, you cheat, you thief, you traitor? But the governor shall hear of it.

  Virginio. Have you lost your senses? Or, what is the matter?

  Gherardo. Robber.

  Virginio. I have too much patience.

  Gherardo. Liar.

  Virginio. You lie in your own throat.

  Gherardo. Forger.

  Messer Piero. Ah, gentlemen! what madness is this?

  Gherardo. Let me come at him.

  Messer Piero. What is between this gentleman and you?

  Virginio. He wanted to marry my daughter, and I left her in his charge; I am afraid he has abused my confidence, and invents a pretext for breaking off.

  Gherardo. The villain has ruined me. I will cut him to pieces. [VIRGINio goes off.

  Messer Piero. Pray let us understand the case.

  Gherardo. The miscreant has run away. Come in with me, and you shall know the whole affair.

  Messer Piero. I go in with you, on your faith?

  Gherardo. On my faith, solemnly.

  ACT V.

  SCENE I. — Scene continues.

  VIRGINIO, STRAGUALCIA, SCATIZZA; afterwards, at intervals, MESSER PIERO, GHERARDO, and FABRIZIO.

  Virginio. Follow me, all; and you, Stragualcia.

  Stragualcia. With or without arms? I have no arms.

  Virginio. Take in the hotel something that will serve. I fear this madman may have killed my poor daughter.

  Stragualcia. This spit is a good weapon. I will run him through and all his followers, like so many thrushes.

  Scatizza. What are these flasks for?

  Stragualcia. To refresh the soldiers, if they should fall back in the first skirmish.

  Virginio. The door opens. They have laid some ambuscade.

  Messer Piero. Leave me to settle the matter, Signor Gherardo.

  Stragualcia. See, master, the tutor has rebelled, and sides with the enemy. There is no faith in this class of fellows. Shall I spit him first, and count one?

  Messer Piero. Why these arms, my master?

  Virginio. What has become of my daughter?

  Messer Piero. I have found Fabrizio.

  Virginio. Where?

  Messer Piero. Here, within. And he has taken a beautiful wife.

  Virginio. A wife? And who?

  Messer Piero. The daughter of Gherardo.

  Virginio. Gherardo! It was but now he wanted to kill me.

  Messer Piero. Rem omnem a principio audies. Come forth, Signor Gherardo.

  Gherardo. Lay down these arms, and come in. It is matter for laughter.

  Virginia. Can I do it safely?

  Messer Piero. Safely, on my assurance.

  Virginia. Then do you all go home, and lay down your arms.

  Messer Piero. Fabrizio, come to your father.

  Virginia. Is not this Lelia?

  Messer Piero. No, this is Fabrizio.

  Virginio. Oh, my son, how much I have mourned for you? Fabrizio. Oh, dear father, so long desired!

  Gherardo. Come in, and you shall know all. I can further tell you that your daughter is in the house of her nurse, dementia.

  Virginia. How thankful I am to Heaven.

  Scene II. — The Street, with the houses of VIRGINIO and CLEMENTIA.

  FLAMINIO and CRIVELLO; afterwards CLEMENTIA.

  Crivello. I have seen him in the house of Clementia with these eyes, and heard him with these ears.

  Flaminio. Are you sure it was Fabio?

  Crivello. Do you think I do not know him?

  Flaminio. Let us go in, and if I find him —

  Crivello. You will spoil all. Have patience, till he comes out.

  Flaminio. Not heaven itself could make me have patience.

  [Knocks at the door.

  Clementia. Who is there?

  Flaminio. A friend. Come down for a while.

  Clementia. Oh, Signor Flaminio, what do you want with me?

  Flaminio. Open, and I will tell you.

  Clementia. Wait till I come down.

  Flaminio. As soon as she opens the door, go in, and if you find him, call me.

  Crivello. Leave it to me.

  Clementia. Now what have you to say, Signor Flaminio?

  Flaminio. What are you doing in your house with my page?

  Clementia. What page? How? Are you going into my house by force? (Pushing back CRIVELLO.)

  Flaminio dementia, by the body of Bacchus! if you do not restore him —

  Clementia. Whom?

  Flaminio. My boy, who has fled into your house. Clementia. There is no boy in my house.

  Flaminio. Clementia, you have always been friendly to me, and I to you; but this is a matter of too great moment —

  Clementia. What fury is this? Pause a little, Flaminio. Give time for your anger to pass away.

  Flaminio. I say, restore me Fabio.

  Clementia. Oh! not so much rage. By my faith, if I were a young woman, and pleased you, I would have nothing to say to you. What of Isabella?

  Flaminio. I wish she were quartered. Clementia. Oh, that cannot be true.

  Flaminio. If that is not true, she has made me see what is true.

  Clementia. You young men deserve all the ill that can befall you. You are the most ungrateful creatures on earth.

  Flaminio. This cannot be said of me. No man more abhors ingratitude than I do.

  Clementia. I do not say it for you; but there is in this city a young woman, who, thinking herself beloved by a cavalier of your condition, became so much in love with him, that she seemed to see nothing in the world but him.

  Flaminio. He was a happy man to inspire such a passion. Clementia. It so happened that her father sent this poor girl away from Modena, and most bitterly she wept on her departure, fearing that he would soon forget her, and turn to another; which he did immediately.

  Flaminio. This could not be a cavalier. He was a traitor. Clementia. Listen. Worse follows. The poor girl, returning after a few months, and finding that her lover loved another, and that this other did not return his love, abandoned her home, placed her honour in peril, and, in masculine attire, engaged herself to her false lover as a servant.

  Flaminio. Did this happen in Mo
dena? I had rather be this fortunate lover than lord of Milan.

  Clementia. And this lover, not knowing her, employed her as a messenger to his new flame, and she, to please him, submitted to this painful duty.

  Flaminio. Oh! virtuous damsel; oh! firm love: a thing truly to be put in example to all coming time. Oh.! that such a chance had happened to me.

  Clementia. You would not leave Isabella!

  Flaminio. I would leave her, or any one thing else, for such a blessing. Tell me, who is she?

  Clementia. Tell me, first, what would you do, if the case were your own?

  Flaminio. I swear to you, by the light of heaven, may I never more hold up my head among honourable men, if I would not rather take her for a wife, even if she had no beauty, nor wealth, nor birth, than the daughter of the Duke of Ferrara.

  Clementia. This you swear.

  Flaminio. This I swear, and this I would do.

  Clementia. You are witness.

  Crivello. I am.

  Clementia. Fabio, come down.

  Scene III.

  CLEMENTIA, FLAMINIO, CRIVELLO, LELIA in female dress, afterwards PASQUELLA.

  Clementia. This, Signor Flaminio, is your Fabio; and this, at the same time, is the constant, loving girl of whom I told you. Do you recognize him? Do you recognize her? Do you now see the worth of the love which you rejected?

  Flaminio. There cannot be on earth a more charming deceit than this. Is it possible that I can have been so blind as not to have known her?

  Pasquella. Clementia, Virginio desires that you will come to our house. He has given a wife to his son Fabrizio, who has just returned, and you are wanted to put everything in order.

  Clementia. A wife? and whom?

  Pasquella. Isabella, the daughter of my master Gherardo.

  Flaminio. The daughter of Gherardo Foiani?

  Pasquella. The same. I saw the ring put on the bride’s finger.

  Flaminio. When was this?

  Pasquella. Just now. And I was sent off immediately to call Clementia.

  Clementia. Say, I will come almost directly.

  Lelia. Oh, heaven! all this together is enough to make me die of joy.

  Pasquella. And I was to ask, if Lelia is here. Gherardo has said she is.