Deep End

by Michelle Iannarelli

“Luckily most of what he ingested was vitamins, magnesium, diuretics and an expired antibiotic. He did wash them down with mouthwash, but it is the natural kind without any alcohol, so I don’t think that can do much harm, right?”

  “Yes, you’re probably correct.”

  “He’s in there. Good luck.”

  “Good luck?”

  “He doesn’t know I texted you.”

  “Oh, I see. Then maybe I do need some luck.”

  Grady was feeling queasy and dripping in sweat. He thought that he’d have passed out by now. He heard the door open. “West…”

  “It’s not Weston.”

  Grady tensed up and pushed himself against the wall. “Who’s there?”

  “It’s Dr. Scott. We met at the hospital.”

  “Weston called you?”

  “Yes. He’s worried about you.”

  “It’s too late for you or anyone else to help me.”

  “Grady, I can help you.”

  “I can’t live like this anymore.” Grady dropped his face into his hands.

  Cassidy knelt beside Grady. “I know it can be scary and confusing but, Grady, I know that I can help you.” Cassidy placed her hand down onto Grady’s shoulder.

  Grady turned toward Cassidy’s voice, opened his mouth and vomit spewed out.

  “OH MY GOD!” Cassidy pulled back and could see the look of fear on Grady’s face. She leaned him over the tub and rubbed his back. “It’s ok.”

  “What’s going on in here? I heard…” Weston stopped talking when Cassidy looked up and he saw vomit everywhere. “Oh shit! I’ll go get some clean towels.”

  Grady stopped vomiting and gasped. “Is this the end?”

  “Grady, you’re not going to die, I promise. The pills you took were mostly vitamins and they won’t do much more then upset your stomach and at best give you heart palpitations.”

  “Here are some towels.” Weston handed the towels to Cassidy. “Why don’t you go wash up in the bathroom down the hall.”

  “I’ll be right back, Grady. Weston is here.”

  “Why don’t we get you cleaned up too.” Weston took a hold of Grady’s elbow to pull him up.

  “You called her when I asked you not to call anyone.”

  “And I didn’t, I texted her. Now get your stinky ass in the shower.”

  Grady pushed down his sweats and Weston helped him into the shower. “Thanks, West.”

  “If you want to thank me, you’ll talk to her.”

  Cassidy wandered around Grady’s living room admiring all his medals, ribbons, and trophies. She had always dreamed of meeting Grady one day, but never did she imagine she’d be in his home. She reminded herself that if he hadn’t been in such a horrific accident that left him blind that she wouldn’t be there. Someone like Grady would never as much as give her a second look…hell, he’d never give her a first one.

  “He’s all yours.”

  “How’s he doing?”

  “I don’t know. He doesn’t say much since the accident.” Weston’s eyes welled up with tears.

  Cassidy rubbed her hand up and down Weston’s arm. “I know how hard things like this can be on loved ones. I’m here if you need to talk.”

  Weston gave Cassidy a half smile. “Thank you.”

  “Wish me luck, I’m going in.”

  “Last time I wished you luck you got spewed on.”

  “I hated that shirt anyway.” Cassidy winked before she walked away.

  Cassidy poked her head inside the door. Grady was propped up in his bed. His hair was still wet, and he had on a fitted white T-shirt. Cassidy couldn’t help but stare at him for a moment. “Feeling any better?”

  “Weston told me that I vomited on you. I’m sorry. I’ll have your clothing replaced.”

  “It was an old shirt. I tossed it. Luckily, I always have a change of clothes in my bag. Comes in handy when I get stuck at the hospital.”

  “Uh…so, umm, do you have to report me for what I did?”

  “Well, it’s my job to make sure that you seek help.”

  “I understand.”

  “However, if you promise me that you’re not going to try anything like that again AND you agree to get help to work through your problems; then I won’t document your attempted suicide.”

  “Do you really believe that…”

  Cassidy looked at Grady who was in mid-sentence when he suddenly stopped speaking. “Grady, what’s going on?”

  “I’m dizzy.”

  “Grady, when was the last time that you ate something?”

  “Yesterday, maybe.”

  Cassidy reached for her bag. “I’m going to give you a quick exam. Then you need to eat.”

  “I’m not really hungry.”

  “After all of that vomiting you need to hydrate too.” Cassidy listened to Grady’s heart and took his blood pressure. “I want to draw some blood, ok?”

  “Ok.”

  Cassidy looked down at Grady. His eyes had dark circles under them. “When was the last time that you slept?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Last night?”

  “No.”

  “The night before?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Oh, Dear, that’s not good. No wonder you’re in such a bad place.” Cassidy placed her hand onto Grady’s cheek.

  “I don’t even know if it’s day or night. I’m so confused.”

  “Listen to me. I want to give you something to make you sleep and I don’t mean a weak sleeping pill. I want to give you something that will keep you down for the count for a good ten to twelve hours. While you’re out, I’d also like to start you on an IV to combat your dehydration and we will work on force feeding you if need be, once you’re awake.”

  “Ok.”

  Cassidy took a vial from her bag and filled a syringe. “I just need you to roll on your side, so I can give you this injection.”

  Grady turned on his side. Cassidy pulled back his blanket and reached for his waistband. She would have paid money to see Grady’s ass if given the chance but now that she could see it for free, she suddenly felt awkward. She exhaled, pulled his shorts down and jabbed him with the needle as quickly as possible.

  “Ugh!”

  “I’m sorry, so sorry.”

  “It was more that I wasn’t prepared.”

  “I should have told you. I’m sorry.”

  “Stop apologizing. You’re trying to help me.”

  “You can get comfortable now. I’ll wait for you to fall asleep to start the IV.”

  Grady felt Cassidy move away from the bed. He swung out his arm. “Dr. Scott.” Grady moved his arm until he caught Cassidy’s wrist. “Don’t go.”

  “I’m not. I’ll be here until your IV is finished.”

  “Then what?”

  “I’ll come back and visit you tomorrow unless you’d prefer a different doctor?”

  “No, I don’t want someone else.”

  “Ok, then I guess you’re stuck with me.” Cassidy smiled even though it was wasted on Grady.

  “I think I’m falling…”

  Cassidy finished his sentence. “Asleep.”

  Weston was cleaning the bathroom when he heard the door open. “Want some help?”

  “Nah, I’m good. I just didn’t want to leave all these pills for the housekeeper to find tomorrow.”

  “Good idea.”

  Weston closed the medicine cabinet. “How did things go with Grady?”

  “I’m not sure he’s eaten or slept in days.”

  “I knew I shouldn’t have allowed that bitch ex of his to take care of him.”

  “Well, you’re here now and I trust that you will keep him on track.”

  “I hope so.”

  “I’m going to go make a quick phone call and then I’ll head back in and check on him.”

  “Is he awake?”

  “No, I gave him something so he could sleep.”

  “You up for some sushi or pizza? I’m starved.”
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  “I’ll never turn down pizza.” Cassidy smiled.

  Weston pulled his phone from his pocket. “Pizza, it is!”

  Cassidy removed Grady’s IV, tucked him in and then picked up her bag. “Sleep well.”

  “Thank you.”

  Cassidy jumped. She didn’t realize Weston was in Grady’s room. Thank goodness she didn’t do anything embarrassing like kiss his forehead. “You must think I’m crazy talking to a sleeping person.”

  “No, not at all.”

  “I need to get going. Thank you for dinner.”

  “You’re thanking me.” Weston laughed. “I owe you big time. Which reminds me…I need to write you a check. How much do I owe you?”

  “You fed me pizza so we’re even.”

  Weston shook his head. “Oh no. I can’t let you do that. You’ve been here for hours.”

  “It kept me from sitting home alone watching TV.”

  “Well, then you can at least let me take you out for a real dinner sometime?”

  “That won’t be necessary.” She looked over at Grady who was sound asleep. “Give me a call when he wakes up.” Cassidy took off. She knew Weston was just being polite but the thought of going for dinner with him got her flustered. It had been such a long time since she’d been anywhere with a man.

  Grady rolled over and opened his eyes. “Good morning!”

  “I guess I finally got some sleep.”

  “About sixteen hours. So, are you feeling any better today?”

  “I’m not as tired.”

  Weston placed his hand down onto Grady’s leg. “We’re going to get you through this, Buddy.”

  “Thanks, West.”

  “Why don’t you call Doc Scott while I make us some breakfast.”

  “Maybe later.” Grady rolled over.

  “Grady, you need help. I don’t care if you talk to her or someone else, but you need help.”

  “I know. I really lost it yesterday.”

  “I’m just grateful that I didn’t lose my best friend.”

  “Thank you for everything, West.”

  “If you really want to thank me…”

  “I know, then call the shrink.”

  Grady picked up his phone and then realized he couldn’t dial it. “WEST!”

  “YEAH?”

  “CAN YOU COME HELP ME?”

  “I’LL BE RIGHT THERE.”

  Grady leaned his head back against the wall. He was completely and totally helpless.

  “I had to wash my hands. So, what do you need help with?”

  Grady held out his phone. “I can’t even dial a phone without help.”

  Weston took the phone from Grady. “This isn’t permanent.”

  “I feel like I’m trapped in an ongoing nightmare.”

  “Then find your way out of it.” Weston dialed Cassidy’s phone number and then handed the phone back to Grady after he hit send. “Here’s your chance.”

  “Cassidy Scott!”

  Grady cleared his throat. “Hey, umm, it’s me…Grady O’Malley.”

  Cassidy looked down at the phone. His voice sounded so much deeper and even sexier over the phone. “Grady, hello! How did you sleep?”

  “I don’t remember much. Weston said I got a good sixteen hours.”

  “How do you feel today?”

  “Stupid.”

  “We all have bad days.”

  “A bad day! It wasn’t one bad day, it’s been weeks.”

  “Let’s fix that. Can I come over in an hour?”

  “I guess.”

  “I’ll see you soon.”

  Grady heard the phone beep indicating that Cassidy hung up. He tossed the phone down onto the bed.

  “Latte time!”

  Cassidy looked up and Jess was smiling at her holding two lattes. “They don’t happen to be spiked?”

  Jess laughed. “Umm, no.”

  Cassidy took the latte from Jess, had a sip, and sighed. “Thank you.”

  “What’s got you in need of alcohol before dark?”

  “It’s a who, not a what.”

  “You still stuck on that Grady O’Malley guy?”

  “I saw him again yesterday and…”

  “Saw! Like a date? You know he has a girlfriend, right?”

  “Not a date.”

  “Oh, so he was here at the hospital?”

  “No. I made a home visit.”

  Jess’ mouth dropped open. “You were inside his house? I want to hear all about it.”

  “I shouldn’t have even said that much but my anxiety is running high.”

  Jess put down her latte and rubbed Cassidy’s back. “Did he say something to hurt you because if he did…”

  “No, he didn’t. He barely said anything.”

  “So why the anxiety?”

  “I have to go back again today.”

  “Cass, I’m sure you don’t have anything to worry about. He seems like a nice guy from everything that I’ve read. I mean maybe a bit of a snob but not violent.”

  “I’m not worried about that.” Cassidy turned away from Jess.

  “Oh, Cass, I wish you could see yourself the way that I see you.” Jess leaned down and hugged her.

  “Well, I can’t, and I need to leave.” Cassidy stood up.

  “I can come over later if you want to talk and I’ll bring wine.”

  Cassidy gave Jess a quick hug. “I love you.”

  “Is that a yes?”

  “Only if you make sangria with the wine.”

  “I’m on it.” Jess winked.

  Cassidy knocked and then anxiously waited for the door to open. “Doc Scott, come in.”

  “Hello!”

  “Thank you for coming here to see him. As it is, Grady won’t leave his bedroom, so I know that he’d never consent to leaving the house.”

  “He hasn’t left his room?”

  “Not since I’ve been here. I tried to get him to come out to eat but he won’t.”

  “Anything else I should know?”

  “He must have gone through hell because Grady’s never let anything get between him and his swimming.”

  “Trauma can do that to a person.” Cassidy placed her hand onto her cheek, exhaled and then looked down at the tattoo on her wrist that read Breathe.

  “Are you ok?”

  “I’m fine.”

  Weston didn’t really believe Cassidy, but he didn’t know her well enough to press the issue. “I’ll be in the kitchen cooking dinner if you need me.”

  “Thank you.”

  Grady heard the doorbell, so he knew that Cassidy would be knocking on his door at any moment, yet he still jumped when she knocked. “Ccc…come in.”

  Cassidy opened the door. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you.”

  “It’s ok. Everything seems to unnerve me these days.”

  “Hopefully, I can change that.”

  “No offense but I don’t think anyone can.”

  Cassidy never allowed her patients to doubt themselves. It was time for her to work her magic. “Well then it’s a good thing that I’m not anyone.”

  “If you say so.”

  Cassidy’s anxiety took a back seat to her doctor mode. “I say so. Now, let’s get you out of here.”

  “Where are you taking me?”

  “Anywhere but this room.”

  “But I feel safe here.”

  “I know but you should feel safe in every room of your home.”

  “It’s taken me a week to get from my bed to the closet and the bathroom without feeling lost.”

  Cassidy took Grady’s hand. “Pick a room.”

  “My game room.”

  “Ok, get up.”

  Grady reluctantly stood up.

  Cassidy looked up at him as he towered over her. “Lead the way.”

  “I don’t know which way. I told you…”

  “Grady, when you come out of your bedroom which way do you go?”

  “I can’t do this.” Grady turned around to
go back inside his room.

  “You can do this, and you will. Now turn yourself around and tell me if I should go straight down the hall or turn right?”

  Grady exhaled and reached his hand out for Cassidy. “Right.”

  Cassidy led them down the hall. “We made it to the living room.”

  “We need to walk through and then go down the hall to the right.”

  Cassidy led Grady down the hallway and stopped when she saw a room with a gigantic movie screen, leather couches and chairs, air hockey, billiards, ping pong, several arcade games and a bar. “Wow! Now I know why you call it your game room.”

  Grady stood there not sure which direction to move in. “Can we just get this over with so that I can go back to my room.”

  Cassidy could feel Grady’s fingers begin to fidget as she held his hand. “Do you prefer a chair or a couch?”

  “Chair.”

  Cassidy led Grady over to a chair and then she turned him so that he could sit. “Sit.”

  “I feel like a dog being led here and now told to sit.” Grady sat and dropped his face into his hands.

  Cassidy knelt and took a hold of Grady’s wrist. “Hey, look at me.”

  Grady lifted his head. “Why? It’s not like I can see you.”

  “You need to stop feeling sorry for yourself.”

  “How would you feel if your whole world changed overnight?”

  “Grady…”

  “Don’t preach to me how things will get better, that my sight will come back, that everything will be ok because you have no idea what I’m going through…NONE!”

  Five minutes of silence passed before Cassidy finally decided that she needed to give Grady hope so that he could move forward. “I have been where you are, Grady. I may not have been blind, but I felt hopeless and wanted to die.”

  Grady looked toward Cassidy’s voice. “I’m sorry.”

  “I’m not looking for sympathy. I told you that because I want you to know that with trust and determination you can get back what you lost.”

  “I think it’s too late for Rylan.”

  “Weston told me that she walked out on you. I’m sorry.”

  “I don’t blame her after…”

  “Grady, you can’t blame yourself for your condition.”