"This is only the beginning, Kate," he finally murmured.
It was a promise.
The world was waiting for us, evidenced by yet another call on his phone, no doubt Eric wanting to know why the GPS on Jason's car hadn't moved from my driveway yet. But the world was irrelevant right now.
I took hold of his words and clasped them tight.
I'd taken the risk...
And Jason Cain had caught me with open arms.
Chapter 11
I Am Speechless
But, reality can be a shifting type of sand. Fleeting. Changing. Never what you think it actually is...
Jason failed to appear at Dominic's and Genevieve's barbecue that afternoon.
He never phoned, nor did he return my half dozen calls.
He dropped off the face of the earth. Or at least he did for me.
I have no words to describe the feeling his sudden absence created. The gaping hole he carved out by not being there.
I had given all of me. And he had seemed to accept it wholeheartedly.
But now he was gone. As though he'd never stepped foot in my life so intimately, so irrevocably, before. As though he hadn't changed the very make-up of me.
I am speechless. There are no words.
I am...
Speechless.
Chapter 12
But I Am
Two Weeks Later
It wasn't meant to have hurt this much. I had let him into my heart for just one day.
One day.
And now I was shattered, destroyed, broken into a million different sharp edged pieces. Because of Jason Cain.
I hated him. I truly did. And there's not many people Katie Anscombe hates. Ask my brothers. I'm a love and let live kind of girl. But Jason had asked me to live life by letting him in. Now I was desperately in love with the man, but conversely broken hearted by his careless and cruel actions, as well.
How could he have been so callous? How could I have fallen for the game, for his player ways?
I shook my head in disgust at myself. Thankfully, I am not a pushover, otherwise the past two weeks would have been a complete disaster. As it is, my passion for decorating was severely challenged. It's just a good thing that my proposal - a proposal that I have refused to further acknowledge as coming about because of any so called muse - covered all the basics. All I had do was purchase the necessary items, implement the design and fluff the final sitting room for the Montgomery-Smiths. It was a success, but I'd be happy if I never laid eyes on the wretched place again.
Unfortunately, Mrs Montgomery-Smith had other ideas.
I sighed as I pushed the doors open to Sweet Seduction. I hadn't been inside Gen's coffee/chocolatier/music store all week. It became too hard. I kept expecting to see him there. I kept wondering if he was watching the security camera footage at ASI. I kept having to remind myself that Jason had simply used me and moved on, and wasn't in the slightest bit interested in what I was doing now. So, that's why I was forcing myself to drop in and touch base with my future sister-in-law.
Jason's sister.
And that was not the best thought to have when I was trying to act normal around everyone.
The sounds of coffee beans grinding competed with the almost too loud voice of Pink coming out of the speakers. Lets Get This Party Started seeming incongruous with the late afternoon shopping crowd on a Friday in High Street. But then, Genevieve and her best friend Kelly were always up for a party, no matter the time of day.
I walked with purpose, head held high, smile on my face, towards the counter. Intending to get my sisterly duties over with, before I had to schmooze with clients at the Montgomery-Smith's sitting room extravaganza. It was going to be a very long day indeed.
Dom and Gen were holding another barbecue on Sunday, and I needed to make my excuses now, before she roped me into providing a salad or something essential to the feast in Gen's mind. I always found it difficult to say no to Genevieve's enthusiasm, so it was best I got in my apologies before she got in her request.
Kelly was the one to notice me first. Her blonde curly locks bobbing up and down as she greeted me with a huge smile and happy blue eyes. I must have shown some of the discomfort I felt at being around genuinely happy people on my face, because her smile fell slightly and she cocked her head to the side. Then before I could correct myself, she said something out of the corner of her mouth to Gen, whose gaze lifted to me as I came to rest at the counter.
"Hello, darlings," I said in my best Katie Anscombe Prior To Jason Cain Ruining My World impersonation.
"What's wrong?" Genevieve asked without missing a beat.
Oh fudge. I was so mucking this up.
"Why nothing’s wrong, silly," I replied. "Unless you call the boring event I have to attend tonight and the fact I can't make your barbecue on Sunday something to be worried about."
Ah, that was smooth, Katie. Very well done.
"Oh," Gen said, not believing my distraction for a minute.
Then she must have registered my actual words, as a frown passed over her porcelain cream face creating shadows. She took an abrupt step away from the coffee machine, to come closer to me. I forced myself not to take a step back. That would have looked suspicious.
"You have to come on Sunday," she said, in a voice that meant all business.
"I wish I could, darling, but something's come up." I was prepared for this, so I already had a false emergency made up. "One of my clients has had a disastrous event with a room I designed for them, and Sunday afternoon is the only time I can straighten things out before the shop in question has to open on Monday.
"You can't do it tomorrow?" she asked, frown still in place.
"No," I said with a shake of my head to send the message home. "Can't gain access until Sunday afternoon." I too added a frown to let her know I was disappointed.
"But, Katie," she pleaded, really putting the Genevieve Cain convincing, yet still somehow sweet, whine into the words. "Dom and I have an announcement." The last was said on a whisper, as she leaned across the counter towards me.
My heart flopped. Dominic was already marrying Gen. They'd set a date. Everything was planned and under way. Any announcement they had wouldn't be around their impending nuptials. I had an idea of what it could be, and it would be something important to Genevieve and Dom. Something I should be present for. But if her sister-in-law should be there, then her brother definitely should. And it was a risk - Ha! - my heart just couldn't take.
The sadness I felt at turning her down was evident on my face. She looked shocked. But it was more for the fact that I would pass up an important moment in their lives for work, than the notion that I was sad over it.
"I'm sorry," I mumbled, feeling entirely rotten about the deception and about letting Genevieve, someone I loved, down.
"Oh, OK then," she said with a small voice. "I guess we can just tell you on Monday maybe. After everyone else knows."
Oh, boy. Did she sound so woeful at that idea.
"Darling," I said, cajolingly. "I'm sure you won't even miss me. You'll be too excited with whatever reaction you receive to your good news."
It was obvious I'd guessed what the announcement was about, and Genevieve's beaming smile confirmed I was right and she knew it. She didn't say the words, clearly she and Dom had decided they wouldn't mention their surprise until Sunday. But I think she was pleased I'd cottoned on.
"Congratulations," I whispered, reaching over and squeezing her hand.
"When is it going to be your turn, Katie?" she asked innocently, as her carefree words sliced like a knife through my heart. "Even Jason has been talking about settling down and having... Well, you know."
Oh, and now the knife was twisting. I couldn't find my voice.
"I don't know who he's got in his life," Gen continued, oblivious to the blood pouring out of my chest and pooling on the ground, "but for the past two weeks he's been acting really weird, secretive even. Dom and I think he'll be bringing
her on Sunday to the barbecue. I just hope she's not his usual blonde bimbo with big tits." She giggled at her apt description of Jason's usual type.
I needed to sit down. My legs were shaking, and not in a good way. I could feel that the colour had drained from my face. It hurt.
Everything hurt.
I dug deep. I needed to get out of here and clear my head. "Well, I'm sure whoever she is, you'll love her. As much as he does."
Those last words were said on a croak. Even Genevieve couldn't miss that. I cleared my throat, winced at the dryness there and asked, "Can I get a skinny cappuccino to go?"
Gen looked at me strangely for a second and then offered a small smile and set to work grinding the beans and tamping them into the portafilter. I pretended to be interested in the chocolates on display in the glass front case. When she handed me the black with hot pink writing cup, I pointed at a particularly cute packaged selection of chocolates, in an effort to get her attention off my pale and washed out face.
"I think my client would love that gift box, darling. Can I get that as well, please?" I was sure Mrs Montgomery-Smith wouldn't care less, but my mother had always taught me to come bearing gifts.
When she handed me my change back, she asked, concern lacing every word, "Katie, is everything all right?"
"Of course, darling," I replied instantly. "Just been a busy few weeks, that's all."
I placed the change in my purse, picked up the gift box of chocolates and finally lifted my gaze to Gen, offering a smile. It faltered at the worry that met me in her eyes.
"Katie," she said softly, leaning forward slightly to offer her next words. "You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you?"
My lips twitched in a parody of a smile. I was trying, I really was. But the idea of talking to Genevieve, about what had happened with Jason, was ludicrous.
"I'm OK, Gen," I said evenly. The use of her nickname, and not my signature moniker for everyone, making her pull back as though I'd hit her in the face.
"Oh, Katie," she whispered, her words getting lost in the noise of the busy café. I glanced around and noticed she had an ever growing queue, so took a relieved step back.
"I'll let you get back to work," I murmured. "Good luck for Sunday," was said over my shoulder, as I practically ran from the store.
I'd made it to my car parked on Chancery Street when my cellphone rang. A quick glance at the caller ID and I swore. Thankfully under my breath, as there were people nearby.
Dominic. Genevieve had ratted me out.
I beeped the locks on my car and opened the door, before I swiped the screen to answer. This conversation would require an element of privacy. I slipped into the driver's seat, placing the chocolates and my handbag on the one beside me and said into the phone, "Darling! I hear congratulations are in order."
The door swung shut just as Dom coughed down the line.
"She told you," he said in a deep and smooth voice. The one he used when he was trying to hide his reaction to something. Being a lawyer he was good at that. Maybe I should take lessons from him. I certainly needed some practice at hiding my emotions right now.
"I guessed, Dom. You must be thrilled." For the first time, in I don't know how long, I felt happy. Talking to my big brother about something so joyous as this.
"We were going to announce it together on Sunday, but Genevieve said you can't come. I guess it makes sense you're the first to know. You always did have a way of ferreting information out of us when we were kids."
"Ferreting! Pfft! I just know you two and I know how much you're in love. A baby is the next step."
"Well, usually the wedding comes first, but, well, you know how the best laid plans can go." He almost sounded tongue-tied, something Dominic never was.
I laughed softly. "I'm pleased for you, Dom. This is wonderful news."
"It is, isn't it?" he murmured. "And we would have loved to have had you with us when we told the world."
"Well, I promise not to breathe a word of it. Until you get a chance to make the official announcement, of course. Then I can't be held responsible for my enthusiasm at becoming an aunt."
He chuckled, practically a full blown laugh for him. "You sound good, Katie." It was said with a mixture of surprise and calculation. Dominic never said anything without having a valid reason to.
"I am," I lied with gusto. "Business is booming. I have an event tonight which I am sure will drum up more work. I'm really making a name for myself."
"And boyfriends?" Cutting to the chase. It wasn't the lawyer in him, it was all Anscombe male. Nick and my father had the same uncanny ability to see through a ruse and pick out the important thread that could unravel it.
"No one special." I lied again. In a way.
"Well," Dom said, clearly not wanting to get too far down the my-little-sister-is-actively-having-sexual-relations line of conversation. "If you have any problems, you know some dickhead causing you issues, just let us know." Us being him and Nick, of course. "We'll teach any imbecile who hurts our sister a lesson gladly."
"Gee," I said, letting mock sarcasm coat my voice. "Just what I always wanted, big brothers beating up my boyfriends when they tell me my butt's too big."
"Katie!" Dominic chastised. It was entirely too gentle to mean anything. "You don't have a butt." And he wasn't meaning that in the you-don't-have-a-big-enough-butt-to-mention way, he said it because to him, I was not an object to sexualise in any way. Brothers!
Of course, I wasn't letting him off that easily. "I don't have boobs either."
Silence. "Well, OK," he said slightly flustered. I stifled my giggle. At least I'd deflected the conversation off the real issue. "Take care and enjoy yourself tonight."
"You enjoy Sunday too, Dom. Thanks for calling." And that there was my mistake. Reminding him that he'd called me. For a reason.
"Are you sure you're OK, Katie? Genevieve said..." He paused, obviously not wanting to repeat exactly what Genevieve had said about my behaviour or performance in her store just now. "She said you looked out of sorts." I wondered what out of sorts was a euphemism for.
"I'm fine, Dom. Just overworked. That's all." Silence again. He didn't believe me. Was I that bad a liar? "Anyway, I've got to go, I'm running late for this thing."
"Thing?" he asked, amused and clearly ignoring my efforts to cut the conversation off at the pass.
"Event. Schmooze-fest. A client is throwing a little party to show off the room I just designed for her and has invited several of her friends to meet me. She seems to think they'd all be interested in hiring my services."
"That's great news," Dom said enthusiastically.
"Yes, well, I'm not sure I want to do similar designs as the one I created for her." I shouldn't have admitted that. I should have just got out while I was ahead.
"Why ever not?" Dominic asked, incredulously. "Business is business, Katie. You can't pay the bills if you don't have the contracts lined up."
"I know, Dom. I'm not entirely new to this sort of thing."
"So, why don't you want to do this design again? Why miss opportunities when they are presented to you just because you need to change things up a bit."
I bristled. I was not a flighty person.
"That's not it at all."
"Then what is it?"
"I just don't think the design will work elsewhere."
"That's nonsense," he retorted. "You once told me a design can be manipulated for any environment, as long as one of the individual elements within the design has a commonality with the final location."
Oh dear. I had said that.
"Sometimes you have to go with your gut," I replied weakly.
"That is the worst argument you have ever given me, Katie. I'm disappointed."
I lowered my head to rest it on my steering wheel. Great. Being told off by my lawyer brother because I'm not debating an issue to the best of my abilities. I said this day was going to be long. I just didn't realise how tediously long it would be.
"It's all right. You've said enough. I understand you don't want to talk about this, but we're worried about you, Katie. And it's obvious that something is not perfect in my sister's world."
"Dom," I whispered. "I'm too old to have my big brothers fight all my battles for me. There comes a time when I just have to stand on my own two feet."
Silence again. Dom was very good at that. I refused to fill it, as it was his most powerful weapon.
Finally, he relented.
"OK. I'm here if you need me. We're here if you need us."
I didn't say anything, my voice was lost, just swiped the screen to end the call.
I stared blankly out of the car windscreen, replaying the entire afternoon. From walking into Sweet Seduction - my coffee was now stone cold - to Genevieve's worried expression and then Dominic's brotherly phone call. But the biggest blip in my mind right then was their news. The announcement that they'd be making on Sunday at the barbecue.
It was great news. Dom would make a brilliant father. They both deserved it so very much. I was happy for them. So very happy for them.
My tears plopped heavily onto my lap, leaving isolated spots in the fabric. The more they fell, the heavier they felt... on my legs... in my heart. I shouldn't have been crying. I had no right to feel this desolate at such fantastic news. There was no reason for me to be so bereft. So sad.
But I am.
My cellphone broke the silence, but failed to still my weeping.
Nick. Brother number two checking up on me. Was it Dominic or Genevieve who phoned him? Maybe someone was watching the Sweet Seduction security cameras at ASI, after all. I was going to have to avoid visiting Gen's shop for a little while. I think I was going to have to avoid everyone for a while. I couldn't afford for them to see me this way.
Broken.
I started the car, wiping at my face to clear my vision, and pulled away from the kerb, checking the clock on the dash to make sure I had enough time to make myself presentable before I attended Mrs Montgomery-Smith's soiree.
Sweet Seduction Surrender (Sweet Seduction, Book 4) Page 11