by Susan Crosby
“Look at the ceiling.”
He frowned, but he did it—and saw the poster of a cat, claws bared, fur sticking straight out, tail distended and fluffy, eyes wide and wild. RELAX was printed in hot-pink across it.
His grip loosened, but he didn’t laugh. Didn’t even crack a smile. What are you thinking, Jake McCoy?
“Not much change from last week,” the doctor said, wheeling his stool back and pulling off his exam gloves. “You can help her sit up, Jake. Any questions?”
“I don’t know enough to come up with the questions to ask. Hearing that everything is normal works for me.”
“Really?” Doc Saxon looked at him over the top of his glasses. “You don’t want to know if you can have sex?”
Keri coughed to cover up the “I do! I do!” that almost came bursting out. Both men stared at her. She coughed again, as if it had only been a tickle in her throat.
“The answer is yes,” the doctor said, supplying the answer. “If you’re both comfortable with it. I’d advise using a condom to prevent possible infection, if intercourse is what you choose. Intimacy comes in many forms, however. Find what works for you.”
Keri tried to appear cool while her hormones were busy doing a happy dance all through her body. “What about orgasm?” she asked, grateful her voice didn’t squeak.
“They are good things, in my book,” Doc said, straight-faced.
She laughed, because she was supposed to, but she couldn’t help but think back to the only one she’d had with Jake, the powerful, almost painfully wonderful one. “I’ve read that orgasms can be dangerous late in pregnancy. That they can cause the onset of labor.”
“You’re not far from delivering. It’s fine if you end up going into labor anytime. You might as well enjoy it while you can.”
Now that the idea was planted, Keri couldn’t shake it loose. She wondered if Jake felt the same, or if he was appalled by the idea. She couldn’t even look at him, didn’t want to try to interpret his expression. He’d just seen her belly naked for the first time, but that wasn’t anywhere close to seeing her entire swollen body. Her breasts were huge in comparison to when he saw—felt—them last.
“I see I’ve rendered you both speechless.” Doc chuckled. “If you find you have questions, just give me a call. Otherwise, I’ll see you next week, same time, or at the hospital. Keep taking your walks, Keri.” He leaned toward her. “And I don’t care what etiquette experts say, wear a white wedding gown, if you want.”
Jake helped her into the car, then held the seat belt while she buckled and adjusted it. She really wanted to know what was on his mind.
“Where to?” he asked, disappointing her.
Short of a discussion about having sex—or better yet, having it—she wanted to take a nap, but she didn’t want to force him to stay at home, either. “I could use a little rest. If you’d like to go do something or visit someone, you can leave me at your mom’s or grandma’s.”
“I need some downtime myself.”
They headed toward home. “What was it like, growing up here?” she asked. She couldn’t imagine staying in one place for an entire childhood. She’d moved six times by the time she turned eighteen.
“Consistent. Full of freedom. We were allowed to roam, once we reached a certain age. Donovan and I went far afield. Joe stayed closer to home. Or maybe not. He’s seven years younger. I was gone by the time he got into middle school, so there’s a lot about him I don’t know. And Donny’s four years younger than me, so we didn’t pal around a lot, either. We’ve seen each other quite a bit as adults, however. We occasionally end up in the same country, so we make the effort to meet and hang out.”
“Is he your best friend as well as brother?”
“I’d say that, yeah.”
How she envied that. Having a sibling as a best friend meant having a best friend for life. Imagine that.
He pointed ahead. “My favorite fishing hole is down that embankment. I practically lived there during the summers. I’d pack a lunch and spend the whole day.”
“Alone?”
“No, with friends, eventually girlfriends.” He eyed Keri briefly. “Didn’t go home with as many trout for dinner from the time I was fourteen or so. Then later, I had a summer job.”
“Did you have your first kiss there?”
“Yep.”
“What was her name?”
“I can’t tell you. She still lives here. You’d see her having lunch at the Lode one day and want to scratch her eyes out.”
She laughed. “But you said girlfriends, plural. You kissed more than one by your fishing hole. Do they all still live here? Can I travel from house to house and scratch out lots of eyes?”
He gave her a quick, humorous glance. “You know, I don’t think I’d put it past you.”
“Nah. I don’t get jealous.”
“Really? I never met anyone who didn’t get jealous sometime or other.”
She watched him for a minute, enjoying the way he handled the car around the curves, making smooth work of them, a comfortable ride. “Do you get jealous?” she asked.
“Not anymore. But as a teenager and in my twenties? Absolutely.”
“Why don’t you anymore?”
“Why don’t you?” he asked as an answer.
“I’m not sure. Maybe because I automatically trust until that person gives me a reason not to. I think a lot of people go at it in reverse. They figure someone has to earn trust. I think that’s too hard to do, because the bar keeps getting raised. One misstep can put you back at the bottom.”
“Interesting theory.” He looked thoughtful as they pulled into his driveway. “I think I don’t get jealous anymore because no one’s mattered enough.”
Including me? “That’s harsh.”
“I guess it is. Probably shouldn’t have said it.”
“No. I want you to be honest. Why’d you leave here?” she asked as he turned off the engine.
“There wasn’t enough here for me. I needed more than Chance City offered.”
“Did you have an idea of what you wanted to do?”
“Not really. I was restless, and I needed to do something. Ended up with a degree in political science, and still didn’t know. That’s when I joined the army and found a use for my talent for languages.”
“And keeping a cool head under fire.”
He grinned. “I grew up with seven siblings. I already knew I could do that.”
Keri was captivated by his smile, one reflecting good memories. She’d been an only child, with an unspoken wish for siblings and a place to really call home. She’d lived in huts and crumbling houses and sometimes even tents. It was fine, even an adventure, until she was a teenager, then the lack of privacy bothered her a lot. Since earning her nursing degree, she’d only taken jobs where she had her own room in a real house.
“How about you?” Jake asked as they climbed the stairs to his porch. “Why’d you become a nurse?”
“I realized early on that I had a passion for it. Never wanted to do anything else.”
“Why do you work in South America?”
“It’s where I was offered my first job, which led to another, then another, all by word of mouth.”
“You have no accent, no problem with English at all.”
“My parents only spoke English at home, and I went to college in Arizona. I’ve kept up with American popular culture through books and movies. I feel American, even though I lived here only as a baby and through my college years and then these past five months.”
They went into the cabin, leaving the screen door open to the pleasant May afternoon.
“When do you think you’ll go back to work?” she asked, keeping her tone light, as if his answer wasn’t one of the important questions she’d asked since he’d come home.
“I don’t have the answer to that yet. A day at a time, okay?” He brushed his hand down her hair. “Do you want to take the bedroom?”
She figured he would sleep longer and b
etter in his own bed. “The couch is comfortable for me.” She waited until he’d shut the bedroom door before she let herself react to his brief touch. He’d held her hand at times, but those had been out of necessity or courtesy. This touch was all Jake’s doing, prompted by nothing she’d done or needed done.
He was so hard to read. She supposed that was what made him good at the work he did, but it sure did make it frustrating on a personal level.
And now there was the whole issue of sex, which she hadn’t even considered. Well, that wasn’t exactly the truth. She’d considered it, but discarded the notion. But now? Now it was all she could think about.
Jake’s cell phone rang, jarring him from a deep sleep. He glanced at the time. He’d been asleep for almost two hours. Groggy, he dragged a hand down his face and said hello.
“We need to talk,” Donovan said.
“I’m listening.”
“In person. Without Keri.”
Jake went on full alert. “I can’t leave her here alone.”
“I’ll see if Mom wants to stay with her while you and I go somewhere and talk. If not Mom, I’ll find someone.”
“Okay.”
Jake cleaned up then went into the living room. Keri was asleep on her side, pillows tucked around her, here and there. He eased closer to her, could see the baby move under her formfitting top. Sleep softened her face, giving her a tranquil look, something he hadn’t seen much of, although he knew she’d been trying.
She was holding a lot inside. He could tell by the way she often hesitated before saying something to him.
He wished she would say whatever was on her mind, give it to him with both barrels, as she had the first time they’d met at the Escobar house nine months ago. They’d ended up in an argument. Jake laughed to himself. So much for being able to stay cool under fire.
She’d stood toe-to-toe with him, had riled him up good. The confrontation had excited him in a way that nothing else had in quite a while. A week later he’d been trying to decide whether to contact her again, when she called to say they were driving to Caracas, that a liver had been found for Escobar and the helicopter hadn’t shown up.
She’d been feisty then, too, defiant and protective of her patient—
“What’s wrong?”
Lost in the memories, he hadn’t seen her wake up. “Donovan’s on his way over, and we’re going out for a little while. He’s bringing someone to stay with you.”
“Oh. Okay.” She held out a hand to him to help her sit up, shoving throw pillows out of the way, giving herself room, then standing, although wobbling for a moment. “Thanks.” She headed off to the bathroom.
Jake went outside and stood on the porch. He was having trouble separating the past from the present, separating the strong, independent, stubborn woman he’d met from the more cooperative, calmer woman of today. Was it the pregnancy that had changed her? Which was the real Keri?
Why did it even matter so much?
Because you liked that strong woman. And you want to sleep with her again.
The voice in his head broadcast the truth. Ever since the doctor had said it was okay to have sex, he’d thought of little beyond that. Or, as Doc said, participating in some other kind of intimacy. Possibilities flashed in vivid neon in his mind.
He wondered how Keri felt about it.
Hell. He felt for the medallion, seeking a means to calm his thoughts. He didn’t know why he was even considering sex, given their situation. The only thing he was sure of was that he would always be involved with his child. Where things would end up with Keri was still a question mark. He didn’t want to give her false hopes, and surely sleeping together, having sex together, would signal something he didn’t mean.
Except that he wanted her, incredible as it seemed, given her condition. If anyone had told him he’d come this close to begging a nine-months-pregnant woman to sleep with him, he would’ve called that person delusional.
Keri joined him on the porch, not asking where he was going or when he would be back. Did she want to know? Did it matter to her?
Donovan’s car came down the driveway. Aggie waved from the passenger seat, probably thrilled to be asked to do something.
Less than a minute later, Jake got into Donovan’s car. They didn’t drive far, just up the road to a pullout. Donovan turned off the engine.
“A Caracas newspaper ran a story about you today,” Donovan said. “Not about the task force, but about Escobar and the kidnapping, and therefore also about you and Keri. It was obvious that Escobar had granted the interview, because he was quoted several times.”
Jake clenched his teeth. Donovan had prepared him for the possibility of a leak to the Venezuelan press, perhaps even to the U.S. media. “Were Keri and I mentioned by name?”
“You, not Keri. But it won’t be long before that happens. The journalist who wrote today’s story will find more information. I know I would be digging, if I were him.”
“So, what happens now, do you think?”
“I contacted my editor at NewsView. He’s offered me a contract to write the story. It’s a good offer, although I might be able to get more. You know I won’t write it at all, if you don’t want me to. But…”
“Yeah, but.” Jake thought through the consequences. “Either way, I’m screwed. My name and face will be out there, which will limit my job opportunities. And I’m going to need to get back to work at some point.”
“You own a piece of the business. No one’s going to fire you.”
“I don’t want a desk job. I don’t want to be the one sending others out to do the jobs.”
“I doubt it will be that far reaching, Jake. You could stay out of Venezuela. Or you could even take an alias for work.”
Jake considered that for a minute then met his brother’s gaze. “Writing this article could be good for your career, I guess?”
“It could ratchet it up a few notches. I’ve earned a name and reputation already, and this could broaden it. But, I’m telling you, I won’t do it if you don’t want me to.”
“You’d do it right. I have faith in that.” As opposed to others who might not be so careful with the details.
“I’d treat it more as an exposé on the kidnapping business in general,” Donovan said. “How prevalent it is, how accepted, and the efforts to shut it down. Your story would provide the real example, give it the human touch.”
“You’d have to include Keri.”
“We’d give her an alias. It’s acceptable. No matter what I do, it doesn’t mean her name won’t be published by someone, somewhere, you know. This story will have hit the wires, and a number of journalists will have jumped on it already. There’s something sexy about the dying patient, his nurse and a decorated ex-soldier angle.”
Jake crossed his arms and stared straight ahead. “Do the story, Donny. Take the best offer or the best exposure or the best path to a Pulitzer. I’d appreciate it if you tried to keep Keri’s name out of it, but I understand that may not be possible. Just stay on top of the news reports and tell me if her name comes up. Marco and the others probably have family and friends willing to even the score for his going to jail.”
“That’s a small concern, I think, considering he’s a proven kidnapper and murderer.”
“I know. But she’s the mother of my child, and I will protect her. Which reminds me.” Jake turned toward his brother. “Why didn’t you tell me about her on the drive home?”
He shrugged. “I wanted to see both your reactions. I like Keri, but I also knew she was holding back.”
“Did you learn something?”
“Yeah. She was as unhappy to see you as she was happy.”
“All that from her expression when I walked in the door?”
“All that.”
Jake gave it some thought. He hadn’t noticed her at first, so he couldn’t gauge her initial reaction. “Did you learn something from my expression?”
“Not a thing. You were a blank. Weren’t you s
urprised that she was pregnant?”
“Yeah, I was surprised.”
“Unpleasantly?”
“I honestly can’t answer that. The fact exists. I can’t change anything. I just accepted it.”
“It being her or her pregnancy?” Donovan asked.
“Both.”
“Are you getting married?”
Jake bristled. “Are you gonna give me hell about that, too? Of all people, I expected you to understand.”
Donovan raised both hands. “Just a simple question. But Keri led us all to believe you and she were in love. And if that’s so, why hesitate?”
Jake had to decide whether to confide in his brother or to keep the truth between Keri and himself.
“Look,” Donovan said before Jake could answer. “It doesn’t matter to me, none of it. I’ll support what you do, no matter what it is. You know that.”
Jake nodded.
“Is Keri pushing for marriage?”
“No.”
“Would she turn you down if you asked?”
“I don’t know.”
Donovan waited a few beats then said, “You really don’t know each other very well, do you?”
Jake paused for just as long. “No. And I feel handcuffed by the family lore that seems to gain momentum as time goes by.”
“No babies out of wedlock, and no divorces.”
“Right. It’s a lot to live up to. And what’s the big deal about out of wedlock? There’s not much stigma attached to that anymore. Which is worse, do you suppose? That or a divorce?”
“In the eye of the beholder, I think,” Donovan said.
“The beholder being Nana Mae.”
“Yeah.”
Jake rested his arm on the window frame and tapped a rhythmic cadence on the top of the frame. “I always thought the right woman would come along, and I’d know it.”
“Hell, Jake, that happened to me, and it still didn’t work. The woman’s got to feel the same way.”
“True.” Jake didn’t know how Keri felt. She seemed so…pragmatic about it all. So businesslike. Was she as confused as he? Or was she hiding her feelings? He wasn’t ready to know the answers to those questions yet.
“By the way, Gideon Falcon wants to talk to you,” Donovan said.