by Susan Crosby
“To be honest, I don’t even know why myself. Guess I was a little burned out. Having Jake here was the key. It’s been good reconnecting. I’m about ready to fly the coop, though. Starting to get anxious to go someplace and do something.”
“Like Jake.”
“When you’ve honed certain skills and you’ve earned hard-fought-for credibility, you want to keep at it, you know? Joe, Jake and me? We’re not cut out for inactivity. We like to work. We like to be the best at what we do. That’s something our mom and dad instilled in us.” He turned and gave her a steady look. “Send him off with a smile. It’s going to be hard for him, too, but he’ll try not to show it. He’ll come back, Keri.”
“You can’t guarantee me that,” she said, then she walked away, back to her husband and baby.
They were waiting outside for her. She kissed Isabella, then lifted her head to kiss Jake. “Are you flying out of Sacramento or San Francisco?”
“Sacramento, then connecting in Dallas.” He studied her. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine.”
He stroked her hair, which almost reduced her to mush. “I know it’s hard. We’ve had an idyllic time.”
How can it be idyllic when you’ve never said you love me?
You never told him, either.
Well…that’s different.
The snippy dialogue in her head annoyed her. She wanted to send him off with a smile, as Donovan suggested. It made sense to do that—even if it felt like a lie.
“So,” she said. “I’ll drive you to the airport.”
“No need. Donovan said he would. My flight’s at six-thirty in the morning.”
“You know if we had two cars, you could drive yourself and leave yours there, so you could come and go without having to rely on someone else.”
He groaned. “You don’t miss an opportunity.”
“Funny how often opportunities present themselves.”
He tugged her hair as they made their way back into the house. She noticed he’d covered her dinner plate with plastic wrap. She put the plate in the microwave and started it, then grabbed her salad from the refrigerator.
He sat with her while she ate before passing Isabella to her and going off to pack. “Just you and me, kid,” she whispered against her daughter’s soft, fragrant hair as she rinsed and loaded dishes with one hand, then wiped down the counter. “We’d better get used to it.”
She wandered into the bedroom. A well-used leather duffel bag sat on the bed, zipped shut, but no Jake in sight. She found him in Isabella’s room, smoothing the crib sheets, straightening the bumper pads, double-checking the Winnie the Pooh mobile’s mount, making sure it was secure, then he just stood there, his hands resting on the crib bar, fingers gripping it.
Isabella made a sound, as if talking to him. He spun around, and Keri noted his stark expression. It was going to be hard for him to leave, just as Donovan said.
He reached for the baby, who babbled a string of adorable sounds, making both parents laugh. Isabella did, too. Keri’s gaze met Jake’s, sharing the precious moment.
“You probably want to get to bed early,” she said after a moment.
“I’ll sleep on the plane.”
“You’ll be extra vigilant, right?” she managed to ask.
“I will. Don’t worry.”
“It’s my nature.”
He nodded. “You know you could stay at Mom’s, if you wanted.”
“I’d prefer to be here. We’ll have to adjust to it sometime. Might as well be now.”
“At some point, on some trips, you’ll come along.” The words may have been an order, but his tone wasn’t. It was more matter-of-fact, as if they’d resolved that issue already, when, in fact, they’d only just begun to talk about it.
“We’ll see,” Keri said.
His mouth tightened but he made no response.
“What would you like to do tonight?” he asked instead. Isabella wouldn’t be ready to eat and go to bed for another couple of hours.
“Let’s try to videotape her laughing. We can load it onto your laptop.”
“Good idea.” He tickled Isabella, and she laughed. “It wasn’t a fluke. She’s figured it out.”
Ready for her close-up, Isabella laughed and babbled. Keri got a lot of footage of father and daughter, both video and stills. While Keri nursed Isabella prior to bedtime, Jake uploaded everything. It was hard to decipher his emotions, but he took his time viewing and sorting the photos.
He finally turned his laptop to face her. “My new screen saver.”
Mother and daughter, their cheeks touching, two matching sets of light brown eyes sparkling. “She has your mouth,” Keri said, just realizing it. “Your lips.”
“She’s all you.”
Keri shook her head. “You’re there, too.” Isabella’s mouth went slack on Keri’s nipple. She’d gone to sleep.
“Now, there’s a picture.” He didn’t snap one with the camera but seemed to burn the image into his brain, his gaze intense.
“I’ll take her,” he said, cradling Keri’s exposed breast first, her nipple pressing into his palm, then sliding to lift Isabella. “Maybe you’d like to shower?”
“Join me?”
“It would be my pleasure.”
By the time she’d clipped up her hair and waited for the water to warm enough to step into the spray, he’d climbed into the shower with her. They soaped each other up, delving into crevices, gliding over surfaces, starving for each other.
He didn’t let her towel off but picked her up and carried her to their bed, where he licked the drops off her. After she’d climaxed the first time, he rolled with her so that she was on top. She grabbed the headboard for balance. He told her in Spanish how much he loved watching her like this; in French, how he would never forget this moment.
Just as he began to arch, signaling his own rise, she realized he wasn’t wearing a condom. She lifted, pulled back. His eyes flew open. His fingers squeezed her hips.
“You didn’t put on…forgot…” Her words came out hesitantly. She leaned across him, grabbed the drawer handle of the nightstand, dug for a packet. She fumbled putting it on him, having never done it before. He gritted his teeth, his muscles rock hard, as he waited her out. This was the picture she wanted in her head of him—this barely-in-control, passionate moment. He not only wanted her, he needed her. She would cling to that while he was gone.
She lowered herself onto him again, not moving for several seconds, then finally letting him finish, giving him a memory to keep him warm while they were apart.
Chapter Seventeen
The first Fourth of July celebration Keri experienced was just after her freshman year in college in Phoenix, eleven years ago, a professionally staged production choreographed to patriotic music. Since she hadn’t grown up in the United States, she hadn’t felt lifelong patriotism until the fireworks filled the sky and the music soared, giving her chills. Her awe had been the perfect excuse for her friends to tease her mercilessly, mimicking her expression to a T, but still, each July, she’d looked forward to repeating the experience, even the teasing, and was never disappointed. She always carried her own small flag to wave.
The Chance City Independence Day festivities would begin with a parade through the historic streets of downtown, followed by a huge celebration of food, games, music, then fireworks at the fairgrounds. Hardly a soul wasn’t wearing something with red, white or blue. Kids were sticky with lemonade, and the scent of barbecue wafted through the air. Every table held a watermelon and a pie—apple, more often than not.
Keri let everything happen around her. She was too excited to participate in any of the games, could barely join in the conversations going on around her.
Jake was on his way home.
He’d been gone six days, had called every night. She didn’t tell him how hard it was to sleep without him there, how Isabella was different without him there, too. Fussier. Inflicting guilt wasn’t something Keri di
d, not intentionally. He had a job to do. How could he be faulted for that?
But he’d called last night to say he would be home tonight, maybe in time for the fireworks at nine-thirty. She hadn’t told his family, wanting them to be surprised.
“Is this seat taken?” Denise Falcon sat without waiting for an answer. “I’m only six months along. It’s going to get worse, isn’t it? How did you deal with the exhaustion?”
“I haven’t.”
Denise groaned and laughed.
“I’m not kidding, Denise. You just go from pregnancy exhaustion to new-baby exhaustion, which actually had gotten better, then Jake left on a business trip and sleep has eluded me, not to mention doing everything myself after being completely spoiled by him.”
“I can imagine,” Denise said, taking a sip of the iced tea she’d brought with her. “I was sorry he didn’t take Gideon up on his offer. I thought the job would be perfect for Jake, especially now that he has a family. I do understand that it would’ve been a very different life, especially after all he’s accomplished. But sometimes our priorities change. I know mine did. When I fell in love with Gideon, my goals did a one-eighty.”
Keri didn’t want to admit that Jake hadn’t confided in her, so she made a noncommittal sound.
“Men sure think differently from us, don’t they?” Denise asked, apparently a rhetorical question since she plunged on. “If I’d just had a baby, I sure would’ve found any way possible to stay home, not be flying all over the world. And Jake gets a job like Gideon’s dropped in his lap? But then, he’s also built quite a career for himself. Switching gears would be hard.”
Wait. What? Keri reran Denise’s words. Gideon offered Jake a job here? In Chance City?
Keri treaded carefully. “Jake was flattered that Gideon asked.”
“Flattered? Well, Gideon had been waiting since December to make the offer, not even knowing then that Jake would have even more reason to live here year-round. My husband doesn’t think he’ll find anyone else as qualified as Jake to take over his business. How often do you come across someone who can fly helicopters and small planes, knows fishing and hunting and survival techniques? Really, Gideon’s been looking since Jake turned him down, and there’s been no one qualified enough.”
He said Gideon wanted his advice about something. That it was no big deal.
He hadn’t even discussed it with her, probably knowing she would’ve debated the issue with him.
He had lied. Her instincts were right. He hadn’t trusted her with the truth.
The shock of that, the pain of it, rushed through her, weighting her down.
“Are you okay?” Denise asked, her hand on Keri’s arm.
“No. No, I don’t feel well. The heat maybe.” She just wanted to take her daughter and go home.
Home. He didn’t call his cabin home, only a house. But to her—
“You don’t look well. Can I drive you home?”
She’d driven to Aggie’s and parked there, then pushed Isabella in the stroller. “I’ve got my car, thanks. Maybe I’ll sit for a little while longer. See if it passes. It’s just a headache.”
“I’ll stay with you.”
Keri’s cell phone rang. She almost didn’t pull it out of her pocket, figuring it was Jake and not wanting to talk to him yet, but it was her mother.
“We just arrived, safe and sound,” Rachael said.
They’d taken three weeks off, traveling to see friends before settling in for what would probably be a two-year assignment. They’d stayed longer with some friends than they’d stayed in Chance City. Keri fought against the disappointment all over again.
“Did you have a good time, Mom?”
“We had a wonderful time. But I called to tell Jake thank you.”
“For what?”
“Didn’t he tell you? He arranged for a bed for us! Oh, honey, it’s so nice. We were hoping to be provided with cots, but Jake managed to order us a bed, with mosquito netting and really soft sheets and everything. What a sweet thing to do. Our bones thank him, too.”
They talked for a few more minutes, but her mother was in hurry to go, was always in a hurry to go.
“My mom,” Keri said to Denise when she closed her phone. “She and my dad are in Africa. Jake…did something really nice for them, for their comfort.”
“Something that’s going to make you cry?”
Keri laughed a little, lied a little. “The headache’s doing that. I think I’ll go home for a while, try to knock it down before the fireworks later.” But she knew she wouldn’t be back. She couldn’t face him knowing what she knew now, not in front of everyone else. She couldn’t fake it that well. “I’m sorry,” she said to Denise, then left to get her daughter from Aggie to take her home.
After suggestions for her to just lie down at Aggie’s and offers for someone to take her home while another person drove her car for her, she made her escape.
Aggie’s disappointment and Nana Mae’s concern followed Keri home—figuratively, anyway. Donovan followed her home literally. He got out of his car, unbuckled Isabella and brought her carrier inside.
Keri didn’t want to talk to him. She thanked him but didn’t offer any refreshments or for him to sit. She needed to think.
“Anything you need to talk about?” he asked.
“No. But thank you.”
“Are you going to call Jake and let him know not to meet you at the fairgrounds?”
She turned a sharp gaze on him. “How did you know about that?”
“He told me. I’m picking him up, remember? I didn’t tell anyone else.” He glanced at Isabella as she started to fuss in her carrier. “You know I’ll tell him. I don’t want him to be blindsided by your not being there.”
“That’s your option, I guess.” Go away.
“Are you mad at him?”
He bought my parents a bed. What other man would think to do that?
“Please, Donovan. Just go. I need to feed the baby.” She figured that was the fastest way to get rid of him.
He left, and she gathered Isabella close, sat in the rocker and thought about her future.
Jake waited for Donovan to pull out of the driveway before he headed toward his house. It’d been a good week, a productive week. And the phone call with Keri to end each day was the icing on the cake.
She’d sounded so excited when he said he would be home tonight, then Donovan burst that bubble. She wasn’t with his family getting ready to enjoy the fireworks, which would start soon. She claimed she had a headache, but Donny had seen her talking with Denise Falcon right before the “headache” had struck.
Jake figured Denise told Keri about the job. Women sure did stick together. Laura had told Keri about the magazine article before he’d gotten a chance to. Now Denise had beaten him to it about the job.
So now there was going to be hell to pay. They’d resolved the other issue just fine. He didn’t see any reason that this problem wouldn’t be fixed, too.
Jake climbed the stairs and crossed the porch. The door was locked, but that was okay. Safe. He slipped his key in the lock, opened the door and stepped inside, into darkness.
Panic struck him. They were gone—
He flipped a light switch. She was there. In the rocking chair. Not rocking.
“Hi,” he said, setting down his bag and keys, going up to her. He didn’t push his luck by trying to kiss her.
“Isabella’s asleep already.”
He needed time to adjust to this Keri, this angry or hurt Keri, so he went down the hall and into the nursery. She’d grown, hadn’t she? In less than a week. He’d missed her more than he’d imagined possible. Missed the warm bundle she made on his chest, the way she splashed water in her tiny bathtub, her arms and legs always in motion, how she flattened her hand on Keri’s breast when she nursed.
Everything. He’d missed everything.
It had also felt damn good to be working again.
Jake left the room, closing the do
or halfway. It was face-the-music time.
He took a seat across from Keri and waited.
“You lied to me.”
Her stark accusation and hard eyes pierced him. “Technically, I withheld information.”
Bad move, McCoy. She curled into herself even more, drawing her legs up, wrapping her arms around them.
“I needed to think about it, Keri. I needed to decide whether it’s something I would enjoy. That’s not a decision I could make with you. It had to be my own.”
“Then what are we doing married? I don’t get to participate in any decisions? In the end, yes, it would be your choice. But not to even talk it over with me? That’s not a partnership. That’s a dictatorship.”
“That’s unfair. It’s the only time I haven’t consulted you about—”
“Donovan’s article?” she interrupted. “Not a peep. I see a pattern here, Jake. One that doesn’t bode well for our marriage.”
Uncertainty seeped in. “How can I fix it?”
“Here’s what I’ve decided—without your input because, obviously, we get to make our own decisions now. Isabella and I are moving into town.”
Shock barreled through him. “No way.”
“I’ll have to rent until I find the right house to buy, but that’s okay. At least I’ll be close to people, not isolated, like here.”
“But you won’t be staying here all the time. You’ll come with me on most jobs.”
She unfolded herself, planted her feet on the floor. She suddenly looked very much in control, not hurt, not angry. “No, I won’t. We won’t. I lived that nomadic life, Jake. I hated it. This would be even worse because we would be there for much shorter periods of time. How would I spend my days? I wouldn’t have family or friends. We’d be waiting for you to have free time for us. And what about when Isabella starts school—or we have another child? Because I want my daughter to have siblings. She deserves to have what you had and I wanted all my life. Something constant, something to count on. Home. I’ve never had roots. Now I’m planted here. I want to let my garden grow.”
“Our daughter,” he said, everything inside him red-hot.